A/N: I had a funny idea, meant to be a one shot, turned into this. I'm not sure about any of it, Doctor Who is so hard because the writing is so good and keeping the Doctor in character is beyond difficult. That being said, I feel like I did a fairly decent job if not moderately captured the Doctor in this. Any helpful tips or feedback would be appreciated. Please no flames. Oh, and I know Rory is a big pansy push over, but I couldn't help it, I'm not a huge fan of his so if you are...might not want to continue. This is sort of alternate universe, but it is really just a different take on Amy's feelings for Rory, if they were shifted more towards the Doctor. *cough* like they should be *cough* All based on season five stuff, and set shortly after Vampires of Venice. Sorry, hope you enjoy it as it is meant to be funny and full of Doctor Who awesomeness.

I do not own Doctor Who...


Red or blue? The choice loomed before him, but he couldn't decide. The Doctor was frozen in a moment of indecision. It was an impossible task and he couldn't see making another move without deciding. The red one looked promising, but so did the blue. Blue was pretty, but red could be beautiful, but wait, so could blue. Red hair. The TARDIS was blue. But red was—

"Oh, for the love of, just pick the red one already." Amy exclaimed, ignoring his pout. "Either way, you'll look like a goof."

He frowned. "I think not." He held up the red bow tie again. "You've no sense of style." Looking at himself in the monitor he winked. Oh yeah, he was so cool.

"Yes, because bow ties are so in." She huffed, rolling her eyes. His indecisiveness was getting annoying. She checked her wrist to see how long she had been standing there and for a moment, she thought that he was worse than a girl. Feminine pride kept her from voicing the accusation. Besides, he wouldn't get it anyway.

The Doctor began to tie the red one under his collar. "Sounding a bit jealous, Pond?"

She scoffed, "Oh, don't you worry about that."

He eyed her moodily, "Rory!" He called over his shoulder, his eyes remaining on Amy and her smile. It looked mocking to him, but he couldn't tell if she was making fun of him or if she was being devious. Probably both.

Rory slumped down the stairs, looking sour. His head always fell to the side lately, and the Doctor got the feeling that his attempts to bring the two closer together was doing the opposite. Guilt had caused him to invite him along, and though he liked Rory enough, there were certain things about the young nurse that bothered him. Though, he couldn't always put his finger on it. Rory ignored him and gazed wistfully at Amy, smiling bravely when she turned toward him.

That. The Doctor decided suddenly, that was one of the things he hated. That puppy dog look that made Amy gush all over him affectionately. It was bad form and obviously cheating. Exactly what the game was he did a good job of convincing himself that he didn't know.

"So, where are we this time?" Amy ran a hand along the console as she stalked the Doctor, her eyes low and playful. "Some place amazing?"

Her enthusiasm was the perfect distraction from whatever he had been mad about. Flipping a few levers just for the heck of it, and so he could see what happened, he acted nonchalant. "Tra'elect Prime. It's a one of the three habitable moons surrounding Galadros."

"Oo, sounds exotic." She wiggled her shoulders, leaning forward.

"Very." He met her gaze, smiling crookedly. Not at all aware how hard they were flirting.

"Oh, okay, so we'll just pretend I'm not here again?" Rory grumbled, his hands in the air. He looked rather nauseated, but his glare was directed at the Doctor, who simply backtracked slowly, trying to remove himself from the situation.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." Amy ruffled his hair affectionately. "Really, you're making a big deal out of nothing."

"Am I?" He fumed, but Amy's hand intertwined with his and his smile returned. The Doctor glanced at their hands, his eyes averting quickly. Licking his lips, he regained his wide-eyed smile.

"So. We all ready then? All, sorted? Everyone happy?" He gave them a thumbs up.

"'Course." Amy chirped. Rory didn't get a say.

"Great." He spun on his heel and strode toward the doors, throwing them open grandly. It was a very dramatic entrance for nothing. He frowned as Amy and Rory hovered near him, looking equally confused.

"It's a wall." Amy observed.

His head swiveled for a second, "Seems that way, yes." Then he reached just outside the TARDIS, his body pushed against the wall. "But, I do believe this is actually…" He grunted as he strained to reach for something they couldn't see, finally falling backward with a smile. "A door." The wall swung forward on hinges that had been hidden by the TARDIS. "Voilá."

Outside the door was a large expanse of dense jungle, complete with vines, trees as big around as dumpsters, and a menagerie of foreign plants. Even the ground just by their feet seemed untouched by man as weeds grew tall and unhindered. A bug the size of a small mouse flew past, making Amy wince. Why couldn't they ever land somewhere glamorous?

"Hm. Strange place for a door." The Doctor mused, stepping out and shielding his eyes from the green filtered sunlight. The muggy heat was already seeping into the TARDIS, making Amy and Rory wipe at their foreheads.

"Doctor?" Amy followed him outside, looking up and around. He was already walking off, not bothering to tell them what he was doing. Just expecting them to follow. She growled. "Doctor, shouldn't we see what's on the inside of the door? You know, like not wander off into the space forest with space predators…huge…bugs." She shrugged a large flying creature off her shoulder, shuddering. Gross. Gross. Gross. "Doctor?" She didn't like that he wasn't answering her, but she was mainly looking at the ground, trying not to step on anything alive.

The Doctor finally spun around and walked back to Amy, Rory helping her keep her balance when she tripped on an extended root. She braced her hand on the structure they had landed in, a solid grey wall extending outward too far for them to see.

"Okay, so, I don't think going inside would be such a good idea, at this current point in time." He rubbed his hands together, scrutinizing the wall like there was something wrong with it.

"And why not?" She questioned. She was always questioning, he noticed. She was brilliant that way, the Doctor noted with a smirk.

"Well, because this building is uninhabited, and it would seem that was not by choice and I would like to know why." His eyes shifted back and forth, he put his hand on the wall and then ran a finger down it, bending at the knees before standing up abruptly. He stuck his finger in his mouth, making a face. "New paint." He tried to clean his tongue on his teeth.

"What?" Amy asked, trying not to laugh.

"Paint's new. Well, recent…ish."

She ignored his childish theatrics. "Okay…so why'd they paint if they were leaving?" It was like watching a seven year old eat their vegetables.


They exchanged their glances, unspoken words Rory would never understand. That need to plunge into the terrifying unknown. What was wrong with the peace and quiet? Rory kicked at something with his foot while they talked. Ignored, again, he thought glumly. He bent down to pick up the object. When he realized what it was he dropped it again. "Doctor."

The Doctor spun on the spot and headed in Rory's direction, intrigued by the tone of his voice. He had sounded frightened, but that wasn't altogether abnormal. Actually, he had just realized that Rory was in fact, still with them and felt the need to include him. "What's up?"

Rory pointed to his shoes.

"Your shoes?"

He shook his head. "No, you idiot, that."

The Doctor looked down. "You mean the rock?"

Sighing heavily, Rory bent down and picked up the object. "This."

"Oh. Yes. That." The Doctor pinched the knife between two fingers, grimacing at the sight of coagulated blood on the blade. He sniffed it and reeled back in disgust.

"What do you suppose it means?" Rory asked, because he was curious. Not that curious. Not Amy curious. She was too curious. Just like him. They were always too curious for their own good. The pair of them. It didn't make him feel any better.

"I suppose it means someone was stabbed." The Doctor lifted his eyes and smiled. "Just a guess."

"Yes, but why? And why's there no other evidence of anything happening? And why are you walking away from me when I'm…" Rory ran a hand through his hair, "…I'm talking. Oh, never mind."

"If I were to make another guess, the stabbing didn't happen here." The Doctor continued, looking at the ground for any sort of clue.

"Why's that?" Amy's nose was wrinkled in disgust as he held the knife in front of him like it carried the plague. When he swung around, it came within inches of her face and she held up a protective hand. "Oh, just drop the damn thing."

The Doctor let the knife drop. Then his eyes fluttered briefly and he took a deep breath. "Ow." He shifted his foot and the knife was once again lost to the forest floor. The pain subsiding, he began to explain what he had gathered so far. "So, here's what I can gather so far. Something happened here. Something not quite right."

"Oh that's very helpful." Rory scoffed.

"But it is." The Doctor finished. "Very helpful because it means that this is going to be interesting." He lifted his eyebrows, bouncing on the heels of his feet. "Want to know what happened here? Cause I sure do."

"Where do we start?" Amy's voice was just as eager and she shared a quick conspiratorial glance with the Doctor before turning to include Rory. "I mean, since you said we shouldn't go in the building."

The Doctor looked at the wall and then at the only door he could see. "Well, shouldn't and can't."

"Why's that?"

"Cause the door's shut and I don't have a key." Amy and Rory turned quickly to see that the door they had entered was now closed. Amy ran to it, turning the handle in vain. It wouldn't budge.

"Who shut it? There's no one here." She pounded a palm on the door for good measure before resting her hands on her hips.

"Dunno. Could've been the wind. Passing jungle…cat." The Doctor turned around.

"Wait. Wait." Rory put his hands up. "You have that screwdriver, yeah? Just…you know, sonic it."

"Dead bolt. Had to unlock it when I was trying to get the door open. Probably should have done something about that…" He shrugged. "Spilled milk."

"So what now?" Amy droned, already too hot for comfort.

"Now we walk. See if we can't find another entrance. Maybe a window. A vent." He smiled and his fingers danced in the air as he talked, like a nervous tick or like he didn't know what else to do with them. "Maybe we'll find another clue. Like a mystery." He raised his eyebrows. "Love a good mystery, me."

"Yeah, or we'll just find the body that goes with the knife." Rory offered realistically, breaking the Doctor's giddy anticipation.

"No reason to be a downer, Rory." He mumbled before leading the way.