Touhou Doujin: Dawitsu's folly
Chapter 12: All's well that ends well
Hakurei Shrine, early morning
The clock had barely struck five o'clock yet Reimu was having trouble sleeping. She knew she had to sleep, but was restless due to Flandre still being out of her house.
Eventually she succumbed to her worries, and made herself some Miso Ramen. Rubbing the sleep off her eyes, she slowly ate the soup. She dragged herself away from the table a good time later, and walked in a zombie-like fashion out the door. Her destination was anywhere she could search, but seen as the floating mansion was literally right above her shrine, she decided to check there first.
Pressing the now-visible doorbell once again, she waited for an answer. The door opened to reveal Ran, Chen, and Yutaka.
"What's going on here? You two were here before, too... why aren't you with your master?" Reimu questioned, obviously aimed at Ran and Chen.
"Well, we are with our master... Dawitsu owns us now..." Ran explained.
Reimu was too tired to react more enthusiastically, and simply took the news as it came. "Oh, that means that... heh, Yukari won't be my ally in any more games at this rate, her only good point was the lock-on Shikigami feature..."
Chen didn't quite get the fourth wall breaking, and simply said, "Dawi tells me bedtime stories! He told me the story of Red Riding Hood last night! I still don't get why there's no danmaku in the stories, but I like him!"
"That's wonderful." Reimu coldly replied, "Can you please get your master..."
Yutaka decided to take the baton of speaking this time, and said, "Certainly, please come in. Do you want a tour, like last time?"
"Last time your boss was in the foyer... wait, you weren't though. Okay, just what's going on here?"
"It's a long story, but I'll get my boss to come down here anyway. Perhaps he'll tell you."
"Hmm, I'm only here to ask him one quick question..."
After about five minutes, Yutaka returned with her boss. Dawitsu, unlike his somewhat tireless trio of shikigami, was incredibly groggy, his hair frizzed outwards.
"Ugh... hello, Reimu. It's four o'clock in the morning... why on earth are you visiting me?"
Yutaka chuckled at the reference. "But boss, it's nearly five..."
"I know that... you knew why I said it..."
"Of course I do, sir."
"Look, you two, stop this... friendly banter or whatever the hell it is you're up to. Have you seen Flandre Scarlet?"
"Um... well, about that..." Dawitsu said, before entering his aquarium. He returned holding a frozen Flandre like a cardboard cut-out.
"Here you go... do you want to take her back to her home, or should I?"
"What did you do to her... she doesn't look... all that healthy."
"Oh, the frozen thing. Ask Patchouli Knowledge, I don't have a clue how to reverse it."
"SHE'S HERE TOO? Just what's up here? Seriously, surprising event after surprising event is just making itself known."
"Well, she was here before, why's it such a big deal now?"
"Because she's stayed overnight... again. Next, you'll be saying that the other visitor you had, Sakuya's here too..."
"Actually, she is." Yutaka calmly stated.
Reimu slowly approached the nearest wall, hit her head on the aforementioned wall, and then returned back to where she was speaking with Dawitsu.
"Real pain... I'm not having some kind of abstract dream... oh, you weirdos have fun, I'm going to bed. I'm probably hallucinating or something..."
"That's probably for the best..." Yutaka said, and followed Reimu, and closed the mansion door behind her.
"So, should we return Flandre?"
"Wait until Patchy's up."
So they waited, all four of them sleeping in their respective quarters. The sun rose at around eight anti meridian that day, and 'Morning Mood' started playing through Dawitsu's speakers at half eight. Yutaka awoke almost instantly afterwards, and proceeded to walk into her bedroom, where Patchouli was sleeping for the time being.
"Patchouli... wake up, there's something to do..."
"Oh, hello, Yutaka. It's good to see you back to your old self. I don't know why, but even though I've only known you for a short time, it's like you've been around for ever."
"I'm glad to hear that. So, I never asked... hows the terrain manipulation going?"
"I'm not quite as skilled as you are, but I'm getting there. I almost constructed my own type of plant the other day, but it's hard thinking of all the intricate bodily functions and controlling them..."
"When it comes to life forms, I usually base them on existing ones, as they require less mental maintenance. The Amazon rainforest has so many interesting plants, so when I'm having fun, I create an industrial environment that's in harmony with that sort of plant-life."
"Oh, I'm so jealous of you... seeing the outside world. Where else has your boss taken you?"
"Well, there was a place called Ibiza, which my Boss loved, but it wasn't really my thing. We also went to Turkey, to a hotel called Hillside Beach Club. It was fantastic... the staff would perform every night at nine o'clock."
"So, you could just integrate with humans flawlessly?" Patchouli asked, getting out of the bed she was in.
"Well, believe it or not, there's a lot of Youkai in the outside world. However, they don't throw their power around in case Yukari Yakumo notices and spirits them away... the ones who do usually want to come here..."
"Oh, so Yukari herds the Youkai here?"
"I think so..."
Sakuya entered the bedroom, wondering why she hadn't seen Patchouli in the foyer yet.
"Hey, what's going on?"
"Just chatting. You know, the outside world sounds really fun, Sakuya... we'll have to find a weak point in the border some time." Patchouli replied.
"Er, I'm not sure if you two will be so readily accepted into outside-world society..." Yutaka attempted to steer them away from the idea.
"Why wouldn't we?" Sakuya asked, "Is it the outfit?"
"Well, sort of... also, you can't knife people in the outside world... it's illegal."
"Well, we'll just keep low key. Go to Ibiza and see if we love it or hate it..." Patchouli said.
Dawitsu, who had gained curiosity at what was taking Yutaka so long to get Patchouli up, also entered the bedroom.
"Hey, guys! What's up?"
Yutaka helplessly said, "They want to see the outside world..."
"What made them want that?" Dawitsu asked.
"Well... I sort of mentioned our holiday in Ibiza and Turkey..."
"Oh, I see. Want to see the bright lights too? Well, I don't see why not..."
"See, Yutaka, you're just paranoid! Maybe we should go together! You can show us round!" Sakuya said.
"I really don't think this is such a good idea..." Yutaka said in futility.
"Come on, it doesn't have to be now... but when we can find out more about the border, we can have a grand old time! Tour the world, with new friends! Don't you think that'd be fantastic?"
But before Yutaka could answer, Aya decided to barge in in her own destructive way.
"Hello, ever-growing household! I'm here to return your Tokin, Mr Dawitsu! It ran a little over-time, this experiment!"
"Oh, I almost forgot..." Dawitsu replied- he'd gotten used to the hat. "Yeah, so how many people noticed your hat was strange?"
"No-one! It was a real disappointment. You?" Aya answered, returning the hat to Dawitsu.
"One..." Dawitsu said, meaningfully looking at his original Shikigami.
"Ah, must be nice to have someone notice the more subtle things..."
"I guess. One of the things people take for granted."
"So, any gossip that may turn heads?"
"Hey, you can't publish any articles about me, remember?"
Aya sweat-dropped, "Oh, yeah... of course..." and quickly dashed out of the house, leaving another hole in the wall.
"We've really got to get her to stop that habit." Patchouli remarked.
"Oh, I hope we can get to the outside world at some point..." Sakuya wistfully said.
The Netherworld, mid-day
Yuyuko was 'helping' Youmu prepare the imminent feast for the practising Prismriver Sisters. She was doing this by eating the occasional uncooked sausage roll.
Youmu sighed, "Mistress, you'll give yourself food poisoning."
"Come on, Youmu! They're even better raw, and besides, I'm a ghost. I have no digestive tract to infect."
"Then where does the food you eat go?" Youmu asked, slightly curious.
Yuyuko put on a stupid face, and said, "Magic." before snorting twice.
Youmu simply ignored her childish mistress, and put the sausage rolls in the oven.
Merlin Prismriver entered Yuyuko's kitchen to validate a few things.
"Hey, so the concert's in two days, isn't it? Because we're practically done now."
"What? You're saying that... no..." Youmu feared the onslaught of extra work she was about to undertake.
"Of course she's saying what you think she's saying. You want to do the concert tonight, don't you?"
"Absolutely. There's a support act that needs informing, but if you can arrange that, I'm sure the ghosts will love it!"
"They sure will... Youmu, make extra food, I want the whole netherworld to have a jolly good time!"
Youmu knew this was coming, and sadly said, "Yes, Mistress."
Dawitsu Mansion, immediately afterwards
Ran and Chen were making a hearty English Breakfast for lunch. Flandre had been returned successfully, however Patchouli decided to hold back on restoring Remilia and her sister's movement.
"Chen, please make some scrambled eggs for me..."
"Yes, Ran-sama! But... how do you make scrambled eggs?"
Yutaka entered the parlour, and took over from Chen, "It's okay, I'll show you now. All you have to do is..."
She hit an egg on the edge of a pan, breaking it's shell, and released the contents into the pan. "You break the egg just like that. Do it wrong and you'll end up with yolk on your sleeves."
"I don't have sleeves..."
"Oh, you don't. Well, you'll get it on your hands then. Next, add a bit of butter, milk, and pinch of salt and pepper."
Chen watched in awe as Yutaka effortlessly formed a fluffy, protein-rich side dish. "And that's it. Ask the boss to make cupcakes some day if you like cooking."
Chen turned to Ran. "I like this new house. Can we stay forever? Everyone's so nice."
"Absolutely. Thank you, Yutaka. You're a good mentor."
Dawitsu called from the foyer, "Hey, everyone! How's the fry-up going?"
Sakuya and Patchouli had never had an English Breakfast before, and were looking forward to it. Dawitsu had tried to convey his passion for it, but not nearly as much as fried breakfasts deserve.
"You know, I can honestly say I've had some of the best times of my life here..." Sakuya said.
"I'm glad you like it here. I think that you need to see the outside world. Most of my Mansion is based on something from there. I can't wait to show you it..."
"I want to see the Rainforest when we get there..."
"Oh, you're definitely a magician, aren't you? Yutaka has a real thing for Amazonian plants..."
"Yeah, she's said..."
A call from the kitchen indicated the lunch was ready. Yutaka, Ran and Chen all carried two plates each, and they sat down on the foyer sofas, handing a plate to each person, each keeping one plate for themselves.
Silence overtook the Dawitsu Mansion, as the residents were too busy scoffing the highly salty, incredibly tasty combination of Bacon, Sausage, Scrambled Eggs, Mushroom, and Tomato.
"Oh, this is fantastic! I'll have to show this to Remilia... actually, maybe I'll keep it a secret, and let her keep eating blood..." Sakuya remarked.
"Actually, some people eat 'Black Pudding' as part of their English Breakfasts. That contains plenty of blood, so maybe you should prepare it for her."
"Really? Oh, well, I'll see."
After they finished, Chen was dying to ask Dawitsu a question. "Dawi, how do I make cupcakes."
Dawitsu looked at Yutaka, smiled, and said to Chen, "Come to the kitchen, my girl."
Upon entering, he burst into song.
"All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix, add a little something sweet, not sour, a bit of salt, just a pinch!" Dawitsu winked at the hypnotised Chen at this point, and continued, "Baking this treat is such a sinch, add a teaspoon of vanilla! Add a little more, and you count to four, and you never get your filler! Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty, cupcakes, don't be too hasty, cupcakes, cupcakes cupcakes, CUPCAKES!"
Dawitsu ended kneeling on the floor in some kind of victory pose. "MAN, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT!"
Chen looked puzzled, and said, "Okay, Dawi, I'll try doing that now. I hope it works..."
Dawitsu hoped so too...
Half an hour later, after Sakuya and Patchouli finally decided to go home, a certain three poltergeists mysteriously appeared in the foyer, causing Yutaka to run into the kitchen.
"Boss! Chen! There's g-g-g-ghosts in the foyer!"
"Oh, a Scooby-Doo reference? That's an unusual one." Dawitsu commented. "So, are there actually ghosts in the foyer?"
"Yes, it's the Prismrivers. Looking for you in particular..."
Dawitsu went to see them, leaving Chen unaccompanied in the kitchen, leaving a trace of unease in his mind.
"Hello. What brings you here? It's two days 'til the concert..."
"Yeah, well..." Lyrica started. "We're kinda sorted, so we figured we'd start the concert early. All the other support acts are fine with it. All we need is your approval."
"Well... uh..." Dawitsu knew that the support act was fine his end, but needed to make sure that Ran and Chen knew their steps. "Yutaka, you know Caramelldansen, right?"
"Yeah, you've got to do it with me. Also with Ran and Chen... you cool with that?"
"Sure, boss. I'm not doing a lead role, right?"
"No, just support dancer. Nothing complicated. I'll be doing that."
Lunasa smiled, "Well, it's settled, then. Merlin, anything you'd like to add?"
"Yeah, what on earth are those yellow things with mesh on in the corners of the room? My instincts say they make noise, but how?"
"They convert electronic pulses into vibrations. The vibrations subsequently create sound. Do you want a sneak preview at our routine?"
All three poltergeists agreed that they needed to see this, even if it was only to observe the mysterious devices is action.
"Ran, Chen! Come here, we're dancing!"
Chen skipped through from the kitchen, singing, "I've just taken the cupcakes out of the oven... oh, I can't sing about cupcakes like you can, Dawi..."
Ran entered the foyer some time later, and explained, "I was spending time in Locria's level... it's an interesting house design, that's for sure. So we're doing the dance? Practice, or..." she noticed the Prismrivers, "Oh, for real? Okay, here goes..."
The music came on, and they started dancing the hilarious, repetitive, and altogether Moé dance.
Forest of Magic, during former events
Alice Margatroid was still embarrassed about yesterday's events, and was wandering the forest aimlessly. She soon bumped into someone she hadn't hoped to see- a fellow magician.
Patchouli Knowledge grinned, and waved a Bunbunmaru Newspaper at her. "Oh, I've heard quite a bit about you. The funny thing is, I think there's an element of truth in this article... there's even a photo of the doll to prove it! So what's it all about, eh?"
Alice knew she was getting her just desserts, but couldn't just sit there and take abuse. "I... I'm making a voodoo doll. To hurt her..."
"But yet you were nursing her up to health after her encounter with Sakuya? Something doesn't add up..."
Alice's mind was debating on whether to tell the truth or not... then she figured Patchouli wasn't Gensokyo's most eminent figure, so decided to tell all.
"Okay... I'll tell you... I'm in love with her! I can't explain it! She just... I don't know, she's so mean to me, but I can't help but like it when she speaks to me... I just wanted a little memento of her to be with me at all times..." Alice was frustratedly clutching her face. "Why? Why do I love her so much? She doesn't deserve it! I don't have time to love! Argh!"
Patchouli hushed her, "Alright, alright, calm down. That human truly doesn't deserve it, but it's no problem if you love her. Just accept it's a part of you and move on. Hmph, picking on people isn't that fun at all now that I finally get the opportunity to do so..."
Alice, who was slightly confused as to why Patchouli hadn't relentlessly attacked her with verbal abuse, humbly said, "That... you're strange, Patchouli. Thanks for... I'm not sure, but thanks for whatever it is you just did for me..."
The Netherworld, ten post meridian
Yuyuko was standing on a stage, which would soon bear the netherworld's greatest musical talent, the Prismriver Sisters. There was a innumerable crowd of white, floating orbs in some kind of mosh-pit.
"Gather round, one and all! The Prismriver Sisters are glad to perform for you tonight, however, we have several guest performers too... please welcome to the stage... Youmu and the Half-Ghosts! Their unique playing style involves making physical contact with the instruments!"
Backstage, Youmu rushed away, along with four other half ghosts, all carrying instruments of some sort. Dawitsu, who was still surprised at the fact Youmu had a band, let alone ones all the same half-breed as her, whispered to Yutaka, "I hope they don't upstage us..."
"I'm sure they won't..."
However, the performance was incredible, being a form of synth-rock. The ghost crowd loved it, and Youmu's singing voice was strikingly powerful for such a submissive individual. Her half-ghost buddies were dressed in more rock-and-roll attire, but the star of the show was definitely the gardener herself.
"Reminds me of Muse... you know, if they had a female singer." Dawitsu acknowledged.
"Yeah, I think so too..." Yutaka agreed.
Ran and Chen had no clue who Muse was, so just nodded and waited. When the song was over, the ghosts were hyped. Youmu entered backstage, and screamed with joy.
"AHHH! THEY LOVED IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY LOVED IT!" she shouted.
"Yeah, you were quite something out there. I never knew you sang..." Dawitsu complimented.
"Yeah, I sort of admitted it through this concert..."
"Well, it was a great way to do it. Say, we're up next..."
Yuyuko's voice said, "Now, here's a real treat! Dancing for you tonight, featuring local celebrities Ran Yakum... uh, Dawitsu and Chen, here's the newcomers with an outside-world dance known as Caramelldansen!"
Dawitsu ran onto the stage, dragging Ran with him. Yutaka sidled along with him, and Chen sprinted after noticing two seconds too late.
Dawitsu winked at Yutaka. "This is it, guys..."
They performed the routine, flawlessly, apart from a couple stumbles on Chen's part, however, this was not noticed by the ecstatic ghost crowd.
Afterwards, the Prismrivers personally congratulated the group of dancing shikigami, and gave them mementos in the form of three metal necklaces, one for each instrument.
"Thanks a lot guys, it was an honour performing for you. Hey, I have more outside-world music to play if they want more samples..."
"That may be possible." Lyrica said.
"Now, we're gonna go out there and knock 'em dead!" Merlin shouted.
"Again!" Lunasa added.
"Good luck... not that you need it. You lot are the most epic musicians I've ever set eyes on..." Dawitsu concluded.
Yuyuko started announcing once again, "Now, one and all, it's the moment you've all been waiting for! The Phantom Ensemble, led by the one and only... PRISMRIVER SISTERS!"
The three poltergeists teleported from the backstage area, and Dawitsu left to take an audience's perspective. Yutaka, Ran and Chen joined him, and they all enjoyed the concert to the full, knowing the future was going to be great for all of them from now on...
Mayohiga, during previous events
Yukari was sitting in her bed, eating her favourite chocolate cake.
"Oh, damn it... I actually miss that fox and that cat! Oh, I guess there's only one place I can go..."
She picked up a mobile phone from under her bed, and dialled a number containing eleven digits.
When the recipient finally answered, she said, "Hey, Chuck, it's Yukari. You wouldn't be able to help an old girl out, would you?"
The response was a punch through the phone, somehow. Yukari hung up, and simply remarked, "Damn Chuck Norris..."
So all was well in Gensokyo, and the world seemed in harmony. And with Yukari's de-motivation, there was every chance that the border would become weak enough for a little holiday after all...
Author's note: I'm afraid this is the end, guys! Thank you, Metroid Life, for beta-reading and continued patronage of this fanfiction.
I loved writing every last chapter, and even though it's been time consuming, it's been worth every minute. Now, guys! All you other guys... besides Metroid Life, what were you thinking during the ups and downs of this fanfic? This is the last chapter, so it's the best time to review!
I love you all, and I'd like to give a big e-hug to the readers! All you Philippino, Costa Rican, and Chinese people really make me realise how international this site is!
I'm all happy! I want this author's note to go on forever!