Disclaimers: Xena and Gabrielle are still owned by MCA/Universal/Renaissance, but they're here, they're queer, get used to it! The last in a short series I dubbed "Say what?".
"You know what! Just knock it off!"
"Gabrielle! I can't help it! You drag me in here, making us spend too many dinars in the first place, and there's nothing here, but stupid statues and other artsyfartsy stuff. It's booooring."
"You are such a barbarian."
"That's not what you said last night."
"Yeah, well…Oh look! A statue of Hercules!"
"What was that?"
"I said, 'Oh boy!'"
"You would think you'd be more appreciative. After all, you and he were an item once."
"How many times are you going to insist on reminding me of that?"
"I'll let you know. Ooh, he's…he's…"
"The word is naked, I believe."
"What a bardly thing to say. What are you looking at anyway?"
"It's so…so…so big!"
"Yeah, it's gigantic!"
"It's exaggerated. I don't remember it being that large. The sculpturer took a few liberties."
"Hmm…let me see…"
"Gabrielle! Quit leaning over the red rope so far, people are looking!"
"I want a better view."
"Shhh…wow, it is really big."
"Don't touch it!"
"Oh come on, lighten up. I'm just curious."
"Enough already! The guards are looking. Heh heh, nothing to see over here, folks. My friend, she's just a big…errmm…slow in the head. She's got a really bad balancing problem and even worse eyesight. It's ok, really, I'll take care of it. I'm going to take her right back to the hospice. Nothing to worry about."
"Cool! Look at this detail. This has to be real."
"Psst…Gabrielle, stop it. People are really starting to get suspicious…NO! Don't touch it!"
"It's not my fault!"
"Okay, okay! I didn't know it could come off like that."
"Well, maybe no one will notice."
"Gabrielle, you just broke off his ego and you don't think anyone will notice?"
"Good point. Heh heh…let's make a break for it."