Disclaimer: Any character, physical place, or magic you recognize from Harry Potter books or movies belong to Joanne "Jo" Rowling and/or anyone she has granted a license too. This includes her publishers and Warner Brothers. If you recognize another character from a fanfic, you have read that was published before this, please inform me, so I can give proper credit where it is due. With over 525,000 HP fanfics on , it's highly probable this will happen although I will do my best to avoid it. This is the last Disclaimer that you will see as it covers all chapters.
A/N: This is an Alternate Universe/Fantasy and a bit funny story. It includes a super powered Harry. As such it does not follow canon, although unless stated otherwise events leading up to the start of the story are canon. It includes some bashing of my less than favorite people in canon. This is a Harry/Hermione ship from the beginning, and it will not change. There will be hints of sex between mature adults and strong language in places, therefore, the T rating. For those who don't like powerful Harry stories, I suggest you quit this and read one of the half-million plus other stories out here on .The following is a description, of how I write various monies, languages, thoughts, dates, and times.
§Parseltongue§ ~Spells~ thoughts/mind speak [Foreign language]
₲1 = 1 Galleon, S1 = 1 Sickle, K1 = 1 Knut
£1 = 1 British Pound Sterling, $1 = 1 U.S. Dollar, ₲1 = £10 = $15.00
Temperature is in degrees Fahrenheit.
Dates are in the form of; day month year (2 May 1998) Time is in the 24-hour format: 13:00 = 1:00 p.m., and 20:00 is 8:00 p.m. A day begins at 00:00:01 hours and ends at 24:00. All times, unless otherwise noted, are local times.Chapter 1
Late May 1993 – Chamber of Secrets
A stunned Harry Potter looked at the long basilisk fang sticking in his forearm, and the diary Fawkes dropped near him. He heard Tom Riddle rambling in the background as he jerked the fang from his arm. His face changed to contemptuous smile as he stabbed the diary and watched as Tom Marvolo Riddle screamed. He turned the diary over and stabbed it again just for fun.
Harry heard, "Harry James Potter what the bloody hell do you think you are doing charging in here with no back up. James was dumb to a fault but never this dumb. I believe it's time we have a long overdue talk son."
Harry looked up and saw an avatar seemingly more solid than Tom Riddle had been and said, "Mum?"
"Yes son it's me. Well, kind of anyway but that's a story for another time. And time is one thing I don't have a lot of, at least time here." She said picking up Harry's wand and sending a silent charm at Ginny. "I just put her to sleep, she doesn't need to hear what I have to say. Now get up off that cold floor and give your mother a hug."
Harry jumped up and gladly complied. Once the hug was complete, Lily conjured a sofa then started talking again.
"Harry, I don't know where your head is son, why are you friends with the Weasley git when all he's doing is holding you back. He's being paid ₲10 a month by Dumbledore to be your friend and spy on you. Every time, your true friend tries to help you he berates her and you take his side. What the hell are you thinking?"
Harry mumbled, "But Ron was my first friend and my best mate."
"It's a damn good thing Petunia will be dead when I see her again, or I would kill the bitch. Harry I'm telling you straight out, your meeting Ron was a setup think about it son. How many times did Molly Weasley board the train? How many times did she take Bill, Charlie, Percy, and the twins there before she took Ron? Why was she's shouting about Muggles and asking what the platform number is? Think Harry, God gave you a brain use it son."
"Well when you put it like that it sort of makes it look like a setup," Harry admitted softly while looking at the floor.
"Well son I hope you think a spy is worth ₲10 a month, because Dumbledore is taking it from your trust vault so you're paying Ron to spy on you. That it's just a trust vault is another thing Dumbledore is keeping you from finding out. He's also keeping information about us and that you should have our wills read. Now listen closely son because this is very important. When you get to Kings Cross station, you need to take the floo to Gringotts and see Master Ragnok our account manager. The floo address is G6, and Harry to exit the floo properly, prepare to exit when you feel your twirling motion slow down just before it stops. When it stops, wait a second then simply walk straight out otherwise you'll end up on your nose or ass."
"It's my nose Mum."
"This should have been done on your eleventh birthday. Harry you are Lord Potter, the 44th Earl of Potterland. Ragnok can tell you all you have, but I'll just say you have a large Manor that is much safer than Privet Drive. You may tell Ragnok we spoke, and that I want you looked at by a Goblin healer. The magical suppressor James put on your core should have been removed before you started school."
"Suppressor," Harry almost shouted as he winced.
"Harry you're a powerful wizard, and at six months old, James got tired of you floating him and turning him upside down. He was especially put out when Mooney and Padfoot laughed their asses off when you did it in front of them. He did think it was funny when you would levitate Peter and drop him in the trash though."
"Mum I remember Mooey and Paddy. Did I pee on Paddy's back while Dad held me so I could ride him?"
"Yes, and James said if he would bathe more often you wouldn't have to do it for him. Son there is a crystal on the podium in the main vault that will allow you to communicate with us. This is old Potter magic dating back before Hogwarts was founded. You'll be surprised who charmed it, but I'll let him tell you, or I'll never hear the end of it. One last thing before I go. Think long and hard why you spent so much time holding your best friends hand, and speaking to her while she's been petrified. I have to go now but remember what I said about the crystal and Hermione."
Harry's wand dropped in his lap as the couch disappeared, and he fell on his ass. Ginny woke up crying, and Harry reassured her everything would be all right. Harry retrieved the hat and sword so she never saw his jaw set as they left the chamber. His mother's words finally hit home, and Harry James Potter was one pissed-off wizard.
When they got to the rock fall, Harry levitated a few rocks out of the way, so he and Ginny could get through. Fawkes arrived and flashed them to Dumbledore's office where Harry told the story about Tom and asked for the diary after Lucy Malfoy showed his ugly face and ass. Harry tricked Malfoy into taking the diary and freed Dobby. Harry pushed Dobby aside, ducked the Killing Curse, and blasted Malfoy into a wall with a Reducto to his right shoulder and a quick flame curse to cauterize the wound.
Dumbledore arrived in all his glory with McGonagall and Arthur Weasley.
"Harry, what happened?'
"The bastard tried to kill me and I hit him with a Reducto, the first thing I thought of, and then used flames to cauterize his wound. We wouldn't want him to bleed to death would we? Isn't there a charm to check the last spell he used professor McGonagall?"
"Albus I suggest you call Amelia Bones while I check Malfoy's wand and send a patronus to Poppy Pomfrey."
Harry turned to Dobby and winked.
"Harry Potter sir is freeing Dobby. Then Harry Potter sir is saving Dobby's life. Can Dobby be bonding to Harry Potter sir?"
"Dobby I don't know what that means."
"If you accept the bonding it means you have an elf Mr. Potter." McGonagall informed him.
Harry shrugged and said, "If that's what you want, it's all right with me."
Harry was almost knocked to the floor when Dobby literally tackled him. Dobby told Harry what he needed to do and Harry bonded the excitable elf. He also decided no matter what he found out at Gringotts a week at Privet Drive just may be appropriate.
Madam Pomfrey arrived and looked at Malfoy and said, "He didn't lose enough blood to worry about. Madam Bones is on her way so she can revive the bastard. Is it true he sent a killing curse at Harry Potter?"
"Yes Poppy the last curse in the wand is a Killing Curse," McGonagall stated.
"All is normal at Hogwarts. Last year it was Quirrell trying to kill me. This year it was a great basilisk and Lucy here. I do believe it's time to cut my losses and find another school."
"Mr. Potter I'm sure your parents would not wish you to do that."
"Professor McGonagall, how the hell would I know what my parents might want? What I do know is that someone is trying to kill me here. Last year I asked Professor Dumbledore why Voldemort was after me, and got told effectively, I was too young to know. Well screw that. In addition, the one subject I seem to need most is sorely ineffective with the past two teachers. Quirrell and Lockfart come to mind. One contained Voldemort soul and the other cared more about looking pretty than defense. Of course, he did know how to wipe memories pretty well or at least well enough to wipe his own. Then there's the potions Professor 'the instructions are on the board begin' Snape that thinks teaching is done by berating students. I think I hear either the USA or Australia calling me."
"Mr. Potter as your magical guardian, I'll decide where you go to school not you." Dumbledore said.
"Whatever you think old man. I believe my guardians are the Dursleys because you left me on their doorstep. They hate magic and me, I'm sure I can convince them to let me go abroad. I overheard someone say my godfather, some guy named Sirius Black, betrayed my parents then killed a friend. In a word, bullshit, I checked the library on oaths required to be a godfather, if he betrayed us, he would have lost his magic and died then and there. It seems the basilisk venom broke something lose in my mind, that or Fawkes' tears, but if there was a traitor it was Peter. Even as a child I never liked that rat."
"Mr. Potter, I'm Amelia Bones head of the DMLE would you mind answering some questions in private about what you just said as well as what happened here."
"Do you mind telling me who you have with you?"
"Not at all, this is Alastor Moody, Kinglsey Shacklebolt, and Nymphadora Tonks all of which are Aurors."
"Ok, they can speed things up by talking to the portraits while we have our chat. As for finding somewhere private, that may be a problem here. I suspect the portraits report to the Headmaster and, or his Deputy."
"I'm afraid as his magical guardian I cannot allow this Amelia."
"Alastor if Dumbledore moves away from this spot arrest him for interfering with a criminal investigation. Better yet…" Madam Bones said as she stunned Dumbledore unexpectedly and had Tonks put magic suppressing shackles on him.
"Minerva is there any place private in this nuthouse, or do I need to take Mr. Potter to Hogsmeade?" The irritated witch asked.
"Use my quarters Amy, but I suggest you put up the appropriate charms just to be safe. Filius and I sweep our quarters on a weekly basis, and haven't found anything yet but one never knows."
"Thanks Minnie, come Mr. Potter"
"Its Harry Ma'am, Mr. Potter was my Dad," Harry stated with a smile.
They went to McGonagall private quarters and Madam Bones put up silencing charms and some others. After about ten minutes, she used the floo and took them to her office to use a pensieve and view Harry's memories. It took him about six tries to get his memories from his temple. After about an hour, she sent for the Minister.
"Minister Fudge this is Harry Potter and he has an interesting tale and some memories you should see."
To be continued…