Author's Notes: Written for MioneWazlib's 30 Words or Less Challenge on the HPFC. Extension of "Hardly Romance". Unrequited Bellatrix/Rodolphus, 10 30-word drabbles per chapter. Enjoy.
Once in a long while, she will show some semblance of affection. It gets me to thinking that maybe she does love me after all. Then I return to reality.
As long as I have her, I can have no one. I cannot bring myself to love another, and she cannot bring herself to love me. I am absolutely alone.
I've tried to be everything a woman could want. I'm kind to her, and never become angry, no matter what crimes she commits against me. Why wouldn't she love me?
I didn't want a virgin, I wanted an experienced woman. I didn't know that with experience would come independence and willpower. I wanted a virgin not in body, but mind.
She asked me once why I loved her, and I didn't know how to answer. I think part of it might be that I know I can never have her.
Can you hear me?
When I let myself cry, late at night, can you hear me? When my heart screams out for mercy, for freedom from from loving you, can you hear it then?
I'm telling you how I need you, but you won't listen. Don't you believe me, Bella? What will I have to do to convince you? You know I'd do anything.
Out of control
Sometimes I think I can't control myself anymore. I want to shake you, slap you, even kill you to show how I love you. But I know I'd never win.
I love you
I do. I will always love you, but you won't do the same for me. You love only him. And no matter how I love you, you'll never love me.
I'd lay down my life for you. I'd fight to the death for you. I am willing to do anything for you. Why don't you let me prove that, Bella?