Idea spawned suddenly, and before I knew it, I just had to write it. :D The ages are a little different. Itachi isn't five years older than Sasuke but three, and Byakuya four.
Warnings? OOCness, unless you count for the fact that since it is modern verse, different personality types are allowed. In that case… no… still probably a bit of OOCness. Also swearing and sexual references. Blame Hidan.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Bleach.
—THE BWS CLUB—
"No! Itachi! Let go of her! She wants to play with me!" little Sasuke cried, tugging hard on clueless Sakura's arm. She jerked, whining when she was pulled further away from the Lego set she was playing with.
"Stupid, Sasuke!" Itachi growled, whacking his brother's hand off and pulling Sakura back over to him. A smile bloomed on her face when she found the Lego set in front of her again. "Why would she want to play with you and your dolls?"
"They're not dolls, they're action men!" the young boy countered, tears threatening to fall.
Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Don't you dare."
Sasuke's bottom lip quivered as he stared dolefully at his older brother.
The taller Uchiha – of seven – sucked in a breath and shouted, "Mum! Sasuke's going to cry again!" He grinned cheekily.
Sasuke's chubby face fell into full pout mode, and he glared at his brother. At the same time, Mikoto came hurrying from the kitchen, drying her hands on a hand towel until she spotted her youngest son and practically teleported to next to him.
"No, Mummy," Sasuke protested, pushing away her reaching arms to pull him into a hug. "No! Itachi is being mean!"
She paused, blinking at him. She then straightened and set her stern eyes on the older brother, who seemed to have shrunk a little and was hiding behind the still clueless Sakura as she tried to mash the wrong pieces of Lego together.
"Young man, are you using me again so that you could get rid of Sasuke and keep Sakura for yourself?" she questioned.
Her hawk-like gaze got the Uchiha gulping, and he nodded. "But I—"
"Sa-ku-ra!" a new voice yelled, and all four people swivelled their heads to the glass door, where they saw a young boy about Itachi's age grinning at the rosette. He laughed loudly, sliding open the door fast and dashing across the room. His mad halt right in front of her covered her face with his long black hair, and she giggled playfully, pushing him away.
"Bya-kun!" she cried. "Your hair is so soft."
He blinked, hmm'ing. "Oh yeah." He grinned. "Daddy got this new shampoo and conditioner for me, and it works great – but that isn't why I'm here. I found the perfect flower that suits you!" He grabbed her wrist. "Come on, I'll show you!"
And he had pulled her towards the door, the Lego set forgotten as Mikoto frantically yelled, "Shoes!" behind them. She sighed, laughing to herself as the two of them disappeared out the door and around the corner. She then looked down, and tried not to giggle at the sight of her two open-mouthed boys staring in the direction Sakura had just left.
Mikoto began strolling back to the kitchen, her smile set permanently and her mind wondering about just how things will go in the future.
"Sasuke. For once, please just listen to me," Itachi whispered, but she could hear him perfectly; the boy didn't really know the definition of the word 'quiet', and neither did his brother.
"Why?" the younger grumpily replied, crossing his arms.
"Because we have to work together to take 'Bya-kun' down." He had mimicked Sakura's voice.
"But Sakura seems happy with him…" was the sad response.
Sasuke suddenly yelped, and Mikoto glanced behind to see Itachi holding him by the collar.
"Aren't you a fan of action men? Then be one of them, you Barbie!"
Sakura cried, waving her hand dramatically in the air as she shouted, "Oh, save me, my knight!"
Perched on her short pink hair was a small golden tiara, and her face was covered in heavy, badly applied make-up. Her dress was pink, matching that of Princess Peach, but it was a little long so she'd trip if she ever tried to run it. Luckily her role didn't require that much running. Standing on a small crate behind a cardboard wall with a window carved through it, and screaming hysterically like a damsel in distress, was all she had to do.
Sasuke, with his dragon costume, swung his large tail and roared, clawing his hands at Sakura who squealed in fake fright. All of a sudden, Itachi, riding on a wheel-horse and making cheap sound effects, clopped onto the scene. He tossed his horse aside and withdrew a paper sword, brandishing it towards his younger brother.
"Back, fire-breathing animal!" he taunted, waving his red cape away and adjusting his tilting paper crown.
Sasuke blinked. "But I thought dragons were mytho… mythlogicool," he asked.
Itachi lowered his sword in disappointment at having the scene interrupted, and Princess Sakura glared at the two of them.
"They are, you simpleton," Itachi snapped, jabbing his sword at him. "Mythological mean they don't exist, but they're still animals."
Itachi sighed, sagging his shoulders. "No, they're made up!"
Sasuke gaped. "Is Santa mythological?"
"Of course not, idiot!" the older cried, waving his arms in the air. "How do you think you get those presents marked from Santa every year?"
"Why don't you get any?" Sasuke asked, frowning.
Sakura gasped, small hands to her full red cheeks. "You've been a bad boy, Ita-kun?"
His bottom lip poked out. "No. I'm too mature for them."
"Does that mean I'll get too mature for them too?" Sasuke queried, looking worried.
"No, you'll always stay immature," was Itachi's quick response.
"Hold on, Princess!" someone suddenly cried, and from around the corner of the door to the playroom jumped Byakuya, dressed in a full Spiderman outfit. He stood triumphantly with his hands on his hips, a huge smile on his face. "I'll save you!"
Itachi and Sasuke were too gobsmacked to stop their elder cousin before he pelted into the room, making gun noises as he shot his wrist at random things and jumped over several objects. Sakura returned to her previous role and was crying for her saviour, and by the time the two Uchiha brothers realised what was going on, Byakuya had somehow managed to procure a fake net and tossed it over both of them.
He stomped over to Sakura's window and pulled off his red mask, his full black locks falling to his shoulders.
"You were not hurt, Princess Sakura?" he asked.
The rosette giggled, a hand to her cheek as she said, "No, my Prince."
"Spiderman isn't a prince!" Itachi protested beneath the net. Sasuke was chewing on it like a dragon.
But Byakuya had already left the playroom with the pink princess, completely ignoring him.
Itachi sighed and whacked Sasuke. "Stop doing that."
"Big brother… why does BB always do that?" Sasuke asked.
"Because he likes her! Duh!"
There was a pause.
"I listened to you for years… how about now you listen to me to take him down."
"You? You're just a dragon."
Sakura stretched, grinning to herself as she plodded down the hallway of the Uchiha manor. Again she was staying at her friend's house because her parents had gone on another business trip overseas, but the rosette wasn't complaining. The boys were very fun that she almost considered them her brothers, and Mikoto was so nice to her (she gave her candy, but shh, don't tell Sakura's mother that) and Fugaku could be a bit of a mean, scary guy, but Sakura had been there when he showed his loving side.
It was night-time, and she had just passed Fugaku's office when she heard some yelling down the corridor, around the corner.
"What are you boys doing?!" she heard someone scream – Mikoto, she recognised.
"Shit! It's Mum!"
"When did she get there?"
"Who taught you that language, young man?"
Someone chuckled gleefully. "Run, Itachi, run!"
A gasp. "Were you drawing on the door?!"
"Let's all run!"
There was a thunderous collection of stamping feet as three boys retreated down the corridor, running passed the one Sakura had been in so she had seen them flee. Mikoto was shouting something intelligently after them, and Fugaku, behind Sakura, peeked out of his office and quirked an eyebrow before ducking back in and closing the door.
Sakura shrugged and decided to head back to her room, which was in the direction the boys had been caught by Mikoto. When she turned the corner, she saw the woman standing outside Sakura's door and shaking her head, a frown on her face. She didn't see the rosette and had walked back the other way, mumbling something about having to get the writing off.
Sakura pursed her lips and tip-toed to her room, staring at the door when she reached it.
In the middle was her nameplate (one that Mikoto had made for her considering she stayed around so often), but below it in neat handwriting was something Itachi had written.
After that there seemed to be some sort of fight. She could see a vague line crossed through it (Itachi must have tried to smudge it away), and a curly arrow leading from something that Bya-kun wrote.
In your dreams. She's mine.
Itachi responded, his writing a little sketchier as if he was annoyed.
When did you write that? And lies!
I can't lie if it's the truth.
I hate you.
Sakura blinked and looked above her nameplate. In block lettering there was more written, with an arrow leading to her name.
'Sasuke is Sakura'? That doesn't even make any sense, loser.
Itachi, you're mean.
Why are we communicating through her door at random times? Why aren't we just hunting each other down and beating the crap out of each other then?
Good idea, BB. Meet at Sakura's door at five.
AM or PM?
But I'll lose! I always lose!
BYAKUYA'S PROPERTY (there was a small drawn picture of him with devil horns and a spike)
After that, Sakura had no idea what was said considering there were black pencil marks everywhere on her door, like the boys had started a tournament about who owned her, or were fighting to make the most eligible mark. Byakuya's writing was the most prominent, but only because he was the tallest and could reach higher.
Sakura sighed as she ran a hand through her long hair and opened the door, looking forward to her warm snugly bed.
"Guys… why were you all fighting for ownership of my door?"
The boys looked suddenly guilty.
Three sets of eyes followed the ball as it moved across the court, changing from player to player before being tossed into the hoop. Each time a goal was scored for their team, Naruto stood up and cheered, making all three dark-haired relatives jump in surprise before they copied him belatedly.
The blond frowned at them after it happened for the seventh time. "Geez, what are you guys looking at?" he accused, his eyes slimming.
Sasuke turned a faint pink before he scoffed, looked away from his friend beside them, and sat back down. Itachi just dropped back into his seat, tucking his long fringe behind his ears as he crossed his legs casually. Byakuya stared, making Naruto's skin crawl.
Half time hit, and the fourteen girls on the court jogged back to their coaches. Naruto winced as his school's Netball Team's coach started yelling at the top of her voice; not because she was telling one of the members off, but because it was what she always did – and it always intimidated the other team.
The three dark-haired boys watched as Sakura huffed, tightening her hair tie around her thick bundle of hair before she accepted a new bib and hurried to her water bottle by Sasuke. She slipped on the bib of her new position as she greeted them with a tired but happy smile.
The three of them mumbled replies, Naruto the only one who shouted 'hello' back.
"When did you all get here?" she asked.
"Been here from the start," Naruto answered, considering the other three seemed a bit too preoccupied by something. Sakura nodded, turning to check the scoreboard. Naruto's blue eyes then followed his three friends, and he widened them, blushing, coughing awkwardly.
He slapped Sasuke's shoulder casually, making the youngest glare at him. "What?" he snapped.
"Stop that," the blond whispered hoarsely.
The siren went and Sakura looked back. "Oh, gotta go. See you after!" She dropped her water bottle back next to Sasuke and sprinted back onto the court with her other team members, two of them being Tenten and Ino.
Naruto stared at the three siblings, blanching as three identical smirks reached their lips. "You guys are perverts!" he hissed.
The whistle blew, and the game started again. Sasuke grinned when Sakura jumped high for a pass, making her short skirt fly up, revealing her black briefs.
"What's wrong, Naruto?" Itachi asked dryly.
"Didn't you hear me? You're perverts!"
"No, we're not," Byakuya protested monotonously, crossing his arms and leaning further back on the seat. "We're admiring the view."
"That 'view' is Sakura's butt!" Naruto pointed out.
"Go, Sasuke! Whoo!" Sakura cheered, punching the air enthusiastically with one arm and swinging the other which was gripping a green and white pom-pom.
She and her friends were jumping on the side of the football field, each of them screaming their lungs out for their team to win against Sound. Ino was shaking at least six pom-poms (three in each hand) like crazy, performing random actions like twirling on the spot and star jumps.
Hinata stood nervously next the hyper female, unconsciously ripping the ends of each streamer in her pom-pom, and creating a mess of green and white at her feet while she watched the match. She winced when Naruto was tackled to the muddy ground and as Kiba jumped on the other guy (which looked like he did just because his friend was on the bottom).
Tenten was refereeing, standing on the lines and blowing the whistle at fouls, and Karin was completely bored, sitting down on the other side of Sakura and twirling her red hair. She scrunched up her cheeks occasionally, and yawned nonstop.
"Go, Sasuke!" Sakura screamed again when said Uchiha had the ball and was sprinting across the field.
However, as soon as he had passed it on he had glanced in her direction, not able to see at least two other massive guys pelting straight towards him without stopping. Sakura shrieked as he was bulldozed to the ground (Karin snorted to hold back her laughter), squashed beneath two musclier Sound team members.
The whistle was blown and some of Konoha's team went to check on him as the two who tackled him climbed off.
"That's gotta hurt," Ino remarked, though was smiling.
Sakura was gaping, and Karin was practically dying from holding her breath.
"That fight sucked balls!" Hidan shouted, slamming a fist on the cafeteria table and making everything on it shudder. The room was so loud with other students getting their lunch that he wasn't even heard, but his friends had, and they resumed eating like normal (though Konan had planted her hand on her cup just to stop it from shaking).
"I agree," Deidara mumbled, stabbing his pasta with a plastic fork.
Beside him Sasori was drawing on his napkin with a permanent marker, ignoring the black marks he left on the table underneath when the ink seeped through. Itachi was leaning on his elbow, watching the red-head draw and occasionally eyeing Kakuzu's money as the brunette was counting it (in public, the cruel cruel man).
"I mean, seriously! I mean, if Number One had been the one fighting, he would have grabbed the dick by the head, crashed his fucking skull against his, and then kneed him where the sun don't fucking shine," Hidan continued complaining.
Pein was twirling his straw in strawberry milk, bored, and Konan was just eating normally, along with Kisame who was stuffing practically everything he could into his mouth while nodding in complete agreement with Hidan. Itachi boredly tapped his friends back as he started to choke when he tried to shout, 'Hell yeah!'
"There are rules, Hidan," Pein told him, not looking up to meet his eyes.
The Jashinist pointed a finger at the orange-haired man on the opposite end of the table. "That man is so fucking awesome those rules shouldn't even apply in his matches."
"That would be called favouritism," Konan said.
"I don't give a shit!"
"Yeah!" Deidara agreed. Sasori eyed him.
"If he's so damn hot, then why don't you go fuck him already?" Kakuzu yelled back.
"Yeah—what?" Deidara stopped, staring at his silver-haired friend in horror. "You would?"
Hidan grinned manically. "That man is a fucking beast. Seriously, any guy with balls would want to be like Kenpachi."
"That's disturbing," Sasori said. Deidara went white.
"Bored," Itachi winged. He sighed as he stood. "I'm getting ready for class."
"Coming with!" Deidara frantically said, dragging Sasori with him. Kisame was choking on his food as he tried to shout for them to stay behind and wait for him. They didn't.
Itachi, Deidara and Sasori were at the cafeteria doors when two other guys suddenly joined them; Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. Even though the two of them hated each other's guts, they still got along oddly well, kind of like how Sasuke and Naruto got along.
"What's that douche crowing about?" Grimmjow asked, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his school pants and strolling alongside Sasori, dwarfing the short boy.
"Kenpachi," Itachi answered.
Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "Naturally. His locker is filled with pictures of this guy." Deidara went whiter, if that were possible.
"Y-You don't think he really meant that he'd screw him if he could, do you?" the blond asked in horror, his hair standing on end when all four regarded him with cool looks.
"Yes," they answered simultaneously.
It was then, when Itachi had looked away to watch where he was going down the crowded corridor, that he caught sight of Sakura's pink head moving about in the mob. Judging by the stark blonde next to her, she was with her childhood friend Ino, and was animatedly chatting with her.
He stared at her while she walked. And as she passed him, just eyed her nice smile or laugh as she tossed her head back and chortled.
Itachi scowled at the short, white-haired tanned boy in front of him, who was holding a large pile of books that reached to his head. The boy frowned at the look he was receiving and stuck out his tongue before shooting down the corridor towards a female with her dark brown hair pulled into a bun.
The Uchiha moaned as he pressed two fingers to his head, ignoring three of his friends collapsing against each other and continuing to laugh. Growling, Itachi slammed shut the boy's locker, making another guy, with stark red hair and black tattoos (which was meant to be banned), next to him jump and glare.
With a final glower at his friends – Ulquiorra grinning broadly in amusement – Itachi flipped them off and stalked down the corridor.
Byakuya glanced at the clock above the door of the small room before inspecting his mike in front of him. He adjusted its height a little and shuffled through his documents. Now he was just waiting for his co-host, for Konoha High Schools daily radio, to sort out some final things before they'd be put live on the air.
And not that he'd admit it, but Byakuya was a little nervous. Two days ago his co-host, Temari, had invited one of the teachers, Kakashi Hatake, as a guest, and had asked him what he'd liked to hear the next day on the radio. He suggested a dare-hat. And so, Temari had written several hundred dares on paper, torn them into sections and dropped them in a hat.
One of them, unfortunately, involved Byakuya singing solo… live. He just knew that Hatake had bribed his co-host to stage that one.
He sighed and watched the students pass by the window to his booth. A few glanced in, but not many.
"Alright, I'm ready," Temari announced.
Finally, he thought. He had been prepared ages ago.
Gaara, Yumichika and Ikkaku were the sound techs, and the former held up a spread hand, dropping his fingers as each second passed. It was show time.
"Hi Konoha High, it's your rocking host Temari alongside her stoic partner, Byakuya, here!" she began. "And today we've got a few things to announce, as well as the dares that Mr Hatake had wanted on Tuesday."
A few students squished themselves up against the window, their noses flat.
"First of all, the winner of 'Build a Yacht (that actually floats)' contest was Suigetsu with his 'Samehada' model."
Somewhere, somehow, someone could be heard screaming, "That was my fucking name! You stole that name, you bastard!"
Students glanced at each other in curiosity then continued with their usual business. Byakuya absentmindedly recognised the voice as Kisame's.
Either Temari hadn't heard it or she ignored it as she resumed. "The winner of the 'Chess Tournament' was the group called 'Watermelon Chips', (members of that group are Shikamaru Nara, Toshiro Hitsugaya, Chouji Akimichi, Momo Hinamori and Ichigo Kurosaki), who had won nine out of their ten matches."
Byakuya double-taked at the name Kurosaki, before remembering that the kid had been caught badmouthing a teacher on his English Essay (his topic: "Why Orochimaru is a snake') and was therefore punished to something he made fun of.
Temari continued with the announcements, and finally ended with, "And sorry to Matsumoto who requested that there be a 'Sake Club' established. The idea had been shot down on the account of you running naked through the school last Tuesday."
Byakuya chuckled at the memory. Gin had snapped a few damn good blackmail photos.
"Now we'll have every females favourite radio show host sing his solo song!" Temari announced, and there was a collection of cheers.
Byakuya blanched at the sight of the amount of girls pressed up against the window, considering there had been almost none there literally seconds ago. He looked to Ikkaku who gave the thumbs up, and soon he started to sing. It was embarrassing, but he was the type of person who stuck through a dare. Unfortunately, it only got worse.
When he had looked back to the window, he instantly saw Sakura behind it and before he could stop himself, he cried, "Hi, Sakura!" right in the middle of his song. He hadn't realised he had done that until Temari fell out of her chair laughing, and the three Sound techs were crying against each other, holding their stomachs.
He would have blushed, had he known how, but it was the first time he had actually felt ashamed when he saw Sakura crying from laughter as well, letting a gasping-for-breath Karin lean against her. Angry, and a little hurt, but not one to back down, he tried to incorporate his mistake into the song he was singing.
He knew in the end that he had failed, since everyone in the entire school was mimicking him for the rest of the day.
Sasuke and Itachi were steaming.
Just because those two had classes together because they both chose the same course, though Byakuya was in his third year, didn't mean that the idiot could follow Sakura around like that and—
"He's holding her hand!" Sasuke hissed, clutching his Uni books tighter against his side at the sight of the eldest of the trio grabbing Sakura's hand and pulling her up the flight of steps.
They were both laughing, and Sakura seemed to be resisting, like Byakuya wanted to pull her into doing something but she thought it was too embarrassing. In the end, though, there wasn't much she could do considering she was holding a pile of books with one hand, and she didn't want to risk them falling to the ground and disorganising her organisation.
"That's it," Itachi whispered. "Break out the hedge clippers, dear brother. I'm going to maim him."
Sasuke paled at the thought before chuckling evilly and clapping his older sibling on the back. "No problem. I'll go find Zetsu now." He disappeared into the Uni, towards the Botany rooms.
Itachi stayed behind the bush, peering over the side and glaring at the two together. They couldn't have been dating. Byakuya would have announced it to the world on his damn radio show if he was, and he'd be flowering her with, well, flowers like every single time she'd walk through a damn door.
The Uchiha's fist clenched at the thought, because he knew that that sort of thing did make Sakura weak at the knees.
All of a sudden a pair of binoculars was rammed into his eyes and he yelped, recoiling back in surprise. His books fell from his grip and layered the grass.
"What the?" he cried, grabbing at his face. Angry, he peered up through his fingers to see Sasori staring dead-panned at him. "What did you do that for?"
"If you want to spy, you need better gear," he stated. There was a pause, and then he suddenly squatted and pulled out another pair of binoculars. "Or there's this one. It's a little older but I find it works much better than those ones. Or this one…" He pulled out another. "I use this one when I'm doing research, and no, not that research that Professor Jiraiya does for his porn club on Wednesday's, from 6 to 10 pm which includes five packets of popcorn and endless rolls of film, nope, not at all, but yeah, I like those ones." He pointed at the ones in Itachi's hand.
Itachi raised an eyebrow and inspected the ones he was holding, before looking to his friend. He didn't know whether to comment on the fact that Sasori, oh so obviously, attended the weekly porn sessions, or the fact that if the ones the red-head was holding was better, why didn't he suggest them, or the fact that the artist had three sets of binoculars in the first place.
He settled with one question after a moment's deliberation.
"Are the films good?"
"Yo, Itachi!" Sasuke called.
The Uchiha, sitting on the grass with Sasori opposite him and looking as though they had been in deep discussion just seconds ago, turned his head and tilted it in greeting. However, a frown set in when he saw the familiar face of a Hyuuga trailing behind his younger brother, his face a little stony but a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
Itachi hated those eyes. Or maybe he just hated Neji. No, he hated the Hyuuga clan, but that Hinata girl was really nice. She was fun to talk to if she wasn't so concentrated on Sasuke's blond idiot friend.
"Why is he here?" he demanded, pointing accusingly at Neji.
The Hyuuga smirked. "I just enjoy seeing you shrivel in my presence," he stated coolly.
Itachi clenched the binoculars in his hand, and Sasori's iron-tight grip of it made him think better of hurling them at the longhaired brunette. That would only bring little satisfaction, and that was nothing compared to the rage of an artist whose best friend happened to deal with explosives.
"Shrivel, shrivel, shrivel," Itachi mocked, scowling as he looked away.
Sasuke plonked himself down by his brother and motioned for Neji to do the same. He stared at him for a second (as if saying 'are you serious? The grass might be wet') before he did it anyway.
"I got an idea as soon as I saw Neji when I went to visit Zetsu," Sasuke started explaining. "Now…" he licked his lips and planted his feet stronger in anticipation, "…we all know Sakura hates Neji—"
Said man looked affronted and genuinely confused. Sakura hated him? How could Sakura hate him? How could anyone? He was a nice guy, he didn't play around with other women, he was a gentleman, and he had other bonus points (such as being good at cooking and massaging) that would make himself a nice long line of women who would be eager to date him if he put up a sign that he was 'Available. Come get me'.
"When—?" he started but was cut off.
"She's always hated your image," Itachi answered, smiling. "Go on, Sasuke."
"Okay, so my plan is that we set Neji on Sakura to distract her (in whatever ways) so that BB will get less time with her, and will, hopefully, back off. Neji, try to woo her a bit if you can. Make BB jealous or something."
"Won't I have an angry Kuchiki after that?" Neji asked monotonously, not liking the sound of the plan.
"What if Sakura falls for Neji?" Sasori asked.
Sasuke shook his head. "She won't. She hates him."
"So how will that be convincing to Byakuya to make him back off," Neji asked.
"You're smart," Itachi prodded. "Think of something."
Neji's jaw tightened considerably as he ground his teeth together in frustration. Glaring at the older Uchiha, he stood and yanked a pair of binoculars from Sasori's grip (his brown eyes widened in shock that someone dared to touch him, the doll lover!) before storming his way around the bush to Byakuya and Sakura who were seated on the bench by the fountain, books strewn about as he helped her study.
"What is he…?" Itachi murmured, but Sasuke had scrambled over him excitedly and peered over the bush, teeth bared in a grinned.
They watched as Neji walked right up to Sakura and put the binoculars to his eyes. Byakuya had stiffened, and Sakura looked ready to punch his daylights out (if only they could hear what they were saying), but then Neji said something that seemed to be funny, and… alluring?... that Sakura blushed and burst out laughing.
Itachi and Sasuke stared at each other in shock. Sasori just smiled knowingly.
"This is impossible."
The three dark-haired men sighed in unison before the older two glared at the youngest and shouted, "This was your idea!"
Sasuke threw his hands up in defence. "Honest! How was I supposed to know that the reason she talked bad about him behind his back was because she had a crush on him!"
"You wouldn't," someone said from behind.
Whirling around (Sasuke yelping in surprise and clinging to his brother who tried to peel him off), they saw Sasori slouching there with Deidara hanging over his shoulder and Ulquiorra crossing his arms. All three were smiling like they knew something that they didn't.
"You wouldn't have if you couldn't tell that she had a huge crush on him," Sasori explained. He shook his head. "You guys are ridiculous, seriously."
Deidara laughed. "Don't you guys know that females, and males, would talk bad about their crush in hopes to get their attention? That's like Primary School knowledge, or did you skip it?"
"If I wasn't me, I'd hurt you," Byakuya replied tonelessly.
Itachi scoffed. "Well, I'm not you." And he raised a fist quickly, but Deidara ducked behind Ulquiorra and Sasori completely out of reflex. "You're a chicken."
Ulquiorra turned to the red-head next to him. "Is that why he sculpts so many birds?"
Sasuke and Byakuya continued talking feverishly about what the heck to do now that Neji had stolen their Sakura. Their heads were bowed, their words quick, and their freaky attitude was definitely catching the attention of anyone passing them at Uni.
"I've got it!" Itachi suddenly announced. Two girls passing him at that time shrieked in fright, and he whirled around, horrified, bowing and apologising profusely before turning back to his relatives. "I've got it," he said quieter.
Byakuya stared and Sasuke rolled his hand. "Go on…"
"We will be known as the 'BWS Club'," he ended.
The other two stared, before Sasuke said, "Beer, Wine and Spirits Club?"
Byakuya whacked him across the head, and Itachi looked horrified that his idiot younger brother didn't get the right answer.
"No, foolish brother. It's 'Boys Want Sakura Club'." He rolled his eyes.
A brief silence.
The three relatives whipped their heads to the side in surprise, seeing Naruto standing there with a very serious thinking face.
"You're not invited!" the three told him at once, walking off in the same direction.
Naruto stood, hurt, before grumbling to himself and going the opposite way. He caught sight of Hinata and yelled her name so loudly that she screamed and whacked him across the head with a book, smashing him against the lockers.
Karin burst out laughing. Again.
Halibel eyed the three men for a moment, her pink lips lifting into a smile just seconds before she chortled. All of them scoffed at her reaction, and reached for their bowl of sake to sip.
The Tavern, one of the more popular places for Uni students, was filled to the brim. It was squishy enough that anybody on the dance floor would be grinding against someone else whether they knew them or not or whether they wanted to or not. Drinks were spilling, and Gaara was DJ'ing alongside another guy called Zaku, creating head banging music which led to literal head banging by the guys smashed enough to think it was hilarious.
Hidan was standing shirtless on their table ('their', as in, Sasuke, Itachi, Byakuya, Halibel and a collection of other friends from all three groups) shouting hysterically about the awesome win Kenpachi had just hours ago against another guy called Jirobo. Konan was busy flicking confetti from her drink (that was falling from somewhere) with a disdained look on her face, and a few of the guys (Nnoitra, Grimmjow, Deidara, Hisagi) were on the prowl.
"You guys are idiots," Halibel told them.
Sasuke quietly mimicked her, and a slap from Byakuya told him to keep his mouth shut before he lost it.
"Why?" Itachi asked.
"Because it's like you've done everything to stake your claim but actually piss on the poor girl, and she still hasn't got the hint that you three like her. Actually, she probably has, but finds it too funny to tell you guys," the blonde said, snickering to herself. "Lord knows that some of us are getting a kick out of it."
"I hate you," Sasuke said.
It was horrible; absolutely horrible that they were forced to endure the sickening wedding, as they watched their Princess get married to a guy – a guy that was not them, but that loser-face Neji from College. Sasuke was pissed more than ever on the day that Sakura announced that she was engaged, because he was the one who actually indirectly hooked them up (true, on that day, Itachi and Byakuya had ganged up on him and threw him in the school dumpster as punishment).
She was gorgeous.
But she was.
No, Neji was ugly.
But she wasn't.
Groom didn't suit him.
But bride certainly did for her.
It was bad enough seeing the two sweet hearts snuggling or holding hands when they were in college, but somehow that simple peck on the lips to end the ceremony was just the worst. And still the three men stood and clapped with the rest of the audience as the beautiful bride and the ugly groom walked down the aisle.
"Oh, they look wonderful together," an elderly woman next to Sasuke cooed.
The youngest Uchiha scowled, kicking her bag further under her seat so she'd have trouble reaching it when she needed it.
He was a bad boy.
"I hate this."
"Why not me?"
"Agreed, but with me, instead."
"Sasuke, stop agreeing."
"I just realised we spent all our lives chasing after this woman," Byakuya said, eyes following the rosette still in her wedding dress as she walked from table to table at the reception to thank every single person for coming.
"And?" Itachi asked. He was hanging over his table a little, sluggishly drinking from his punch glass and glaring at the flowers in the centre like he wanted to set the aflame.
"It seems like we wasted our time."
Itachi sprayed his punch everywhere in shock, and Sasuke, too, stared at his older relative. "That's it!" Itachi shouted. "You're out of the club!"
Byakuya remained pokerfaced at the threat.
"How are my three favourite boys?" Sakura's voice suddenly sounded, and all three looked up to see her floating (in their eyes) towards them like an angel. Her long pink hair trailed behind her as she ran towards them in excitement.
She wrapped her arms around Sasuke's shoulder, rubbing her cheek against his, before doing the same to the other two.
"Three?" Sasuke asked.
"Favourite?" Itachi added.
"Boys?" Byakuya ended.
She nodded cutely and perched herself on an open chair next to Sasuke. "Yup."
"Shouldn't Neji be Number One?" Itachi asked, speaking the Hyuuga's name with disdain but trying to hide it at the same time.
Sakura pushed a finger to her lips to shush them. "He doesn't need to know," she added and winked. "He had a tough time competing against you three, and still is."
"Tough time competing?" Byakuya repeated.
"Well, yeah. You three were the highlight of my life before he came out of nowhere. Literally. I seriously thought he never looked twice at me." She grinned. "I still remember when he came up to me with those binoculars and—"
"Okay, okay, we know," Byakuya hurriedly cut off, re-doing his low ponytail to distract himself from the memory.
Sasuke almost pouted. "But I never heard about what he said."
"Neither did I," Itachi concurred.
She perked. "Oh, I have to go," she hurriedly said, scrambling to get out of her seat and waving a goodbye (and giving them a quick kiss on the cheek) before meeting with Neji and his grandparents.
As soon as she was gone, Byakuya and Itachi glowered heatedly at Sasuke. Feeling the burn of their gaze on his shoulders, the boy cried, "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!"
Only half satisfied, the older two nodded and resumed their drinking.
"Do you think Sakura actually knew we liked her?" Sasuke asked, leaning back in his seat. He started to loosen his tie and unbutton the first button on his collar.
The other two thought about it for a moment until Itachi sighed, face-palming. "I don't think she did. We always acted like that around her, even as kids, so she probably thought it was normal all the way through."
"Ouch," Sasuke muttered.
Byakuya suddenly smiled. "Do you remember how we always used to listen intently whenever she spoke at supper time?"
The other two grinned at the memory.
"Or when Itachi had tied her up and hid her in his room, then played innocent when her parents came to pick her up?" Sasuke said.
Itachi groaned at the thought, flicking his glass in embarrassment. "What about when Sasuke was thinking of giving her a bouquet of roses with a love note in the middle, and we replaced that note with our own, telling her how much he hated her?"
Byakuya laughed, and Sasuke slammed his hands on the table. "That was why she started crying? I never got to read that note!"
After that, the three regaled in the memories they had about each of them trying to outdo or break each other down. There was laughter, and a few bits of kicking beneath the table when they found out at the other had been responsible for something bad that had happened, but eventually it quietened down to a reflective silence.
Until Byakuya spoke.
"Hey, Itachi… do you still have that vacant spot in your club?"