Disclaimer: I don't own anything
A/N: At the end of the chapter
Sam knew that he had to find a way of contacting Bobby before they all left Eerie and headed back to the compound. Once he was back at the compound with Samuel and the others, Sam felt sure that they would monitor his every move. No, he had to contact this Bobby before they got back.
The next day as everyone was packing their stuff up, Sam excused himself saying that he had already packed and wanted to get some fresh air. No one argued with him, Samuel especially was being extra attentive to him after what had happened with the little girl. All in all, Sam was glad to be able to get out on his own. First of all, he went to a cell phone shop to purchase a new cell from which to make his call to Bobby. He didn't trust the Campbells at all and couldn't be sure that they were monitoring him via his cell phone.
Sam walked back to the playground he had ended up at after Samuel had killed the little girl and the Vampire Alpha had disappeared. He went to sit on a bench and for a few minutes just sat there watching the little children who were playing. Had he been that innocent once too? Sam doubted it but something told him that it wasn't true—that someone had cared enough to shield him and to give him a childhood. Dean. Thinking about Dean, who must have cared a lot about Sam in order to give him something so precious, Sam removed the piece of paper which had Bobby's number on it and dialed the number.
It rang for about a minute before a gruff voice answered. "Hello?"
Sam suddenly felt nervous and whispered into the phone, "Are you Bobby?
On the other side, Bobby gasped out, "Sam? Is that you?"
Stunned that Bobby knew about him, Sam asked, "How you know that I was Sam?"
Bobby sighed, "I had gotten intel that there was a new hunter working with the Campbells and I did some research and came to the conclusion that it must have been you, Sam. Especially since all the other hunters whom I knew were accounted for and it couldn't have been a greenhorn rookie—your hunts sounded more professional than that. I did desperately want to contact you but you were too deeply involved with the Campbells."
"I didn't even know about you until last night when I found a piece of paper in my pocket with your number written on it."
Over the phone, Bobby sucked in a deep breath as Sam admitted to how he found Bobby's number. Bobby murmured, "He finally did it." Focusing back on the conversation, Bobby replied, "Can you get away from the Campbells and come and see me in South Dakota?"
"I think that I can—I just need to find a hunt in the area so they don't get too suspicious."
Bobby agreed, "Good. I'll look at things here and maybe I'll find a hunt for you. In the meantime, Sam, you really shouldn't trust the Campbells. They have to be doing something to keep you in their control."
Sam started to shake his head in denial to Bobby's accusation—as far as he knew, despite his mistrust of them at the current moment, none of the Campbells had done something to control him, but then he thought about how helpful and insistent they were with keeping him hydrated with the most lovely water and drinks he had ever drank. He finally admitted that to Bobby, "I think that they are putting something in my drink and when I drink it—I do feel different afterwards."
"Okay. At least we now know that they are doing something to your system in order to keep control over you. Don't drink anything they give you."
At that second, Sam's Campbell-issued cell rang. Sam looked at the display, 'SAMUEL' and quickly said goodbye to Bobby with the promise to call him as soon as possible. Sam waited a minute after he got off the phone to Bobby before he called Samuel back and apologized that he had lost track of time and was heading back to the motel.
SIA SIA SIA
When they got back to the compound, Sam made sure to keep his distance from Samuel and the others. Although, he couldn't stop them offering him bottles of water or drinks and making him food. Since the conversation he had with Bobby, Sam was suspicious of the Campbells. So at every opportunity he had, he would pretend to eat or drink whatever they gave him and acted like they expected. It was exhausting, so Sam was happy when Bobby finally got back to him and texted him about a hunt. Sam researched the hunt some more just in case Samuel or one of the others wanted to check on him. The hunt involved a simple haunting—it involved a family of a father and his two young sons who were motherless.
Sam assumed that Bobby must have known what would attract Sam to the hunt and what wouldn't raise too many eyebrows if he were to go on this hunt. Research done, Sam headed to Samuel's office to get Samuel's approval.
"Why this hunt, Sam? Why now?" Samuel asked.
"I need to go and do this hunt—it…it sort of reminds me of my own family." He hoped that Samuel wouldn't want more details.
Samuel stared at him and asked, 'Why suddenly are you concerned about your family, Sam? You've been adjusting to us just fine until now… with no word about your father or Dean, and now suddenly you want to go on a hunt which reminds you of them?"
"Yeah, I do. After the Vamp Alpha hunt fiasco—I need to get back into the game. I think that I was more shook up than I thought."
Samuel sighed. "Fine. Take a few days and go but take Christian with you and give Gwen the details you found."
Sam shook his head. "I want to do this by myself—like that werewolf hunt."
This time, it took longer for Samuel to respond to Sam's request. He stared at Sam who really tried not to fidget but couldn't help but feel like he was in the hot seat. After what seemed like an hour, but in reality was a minute, Samuel nodded his consent and told Sam to give Gwen all the details. He told Sam that he could leave an hour after he had brought Gwen up to speed.
Sam thanked him and left Samuel's office. He immediately went to Gwen and gave her the research that he found on the hunt. Sam had thought that it would be a quick review but Gwen wanted to go over many details a few times so instead of being with her for half an hour—he ended up going over the hunt for two and a half hours. Sam barely had time to pack his stuff and head out to the hunt. On his way to South Dakota, he was able to finally call Bobby to let him know that he was on his way and Bobby gave him instructions to reach Singer Salvage Yard.
SIA SIA SIA
It took Sam about a day of solid driving to get to Bobby's. He arrived and drove through the rusted gate and up to the house, past heaps of old and broken down cars. Sam was getting an odd sense of déjà vu about the place—which he supposed made sense if he really had spent a lot of time here before he ended up with the Campbells. Sure enough, a Rottweiler came running towards Sam barking and wagging his tail. Another sign that Sam must have been a regular at Bobby's especially when the dog jumped on him with joy as soon as Sam had gotten out of the car.
As Sam was trying to calm the dog's enthusiasm in his arrival, he heard a deep chuckle. Before Sam looked up to see what Bobby looked like—at least he hoped that it was Bobby—a whistle and a curt call, "Trey!" rang out and the dog obediently left Sam to go and join his master.
Sam looked up as Bobby, a man with a beard and wearing a baseball hat, came walking up to him. "Hello, Sam." Bobby stopped in front of Sam and made as if to hug him but at the last minute changed his mind and settled on holding out his hand for Sam to shake.
"Hi. So you're Bobby. Nice to meet you." Sam said feeling very self-conscious. It was a new feeling for Sam—it was as if Bobby knew more about him than Sam ever did and was looking to see what changes he had been through. It wasn't a pleasant feeling especially since he felt the anguish coming off Bobby in waves.
"Come into the house," Bobby told Sam as he led him up the steps and into a front hallway. Having been only exposed to the Campbell compound up until now, Sam didn't have much to go on in regards to how hunters lived. Bobby's place definitely gave off the air of 'a hunter lives here' with Devil's Traps printed on ceilings and floors and ancient books everywhere Sam could see. There was where the similarity with the Campbell compound ended—Bobby's place had a homier feel to it—at least that was the vibe that came off to Sam. That and the same intense déjà vu feeling from earlier gripped him again.
He was leafing through an ancient book when Bobby came up to him and handed him a bottle of beer. Sam looked at the bottle in his hand. He didn't want to offend Bobby—he had just met him and knew that he wanted to help, but because of Samuel and the others, Sam was suspicious of any drink that he didn't prepare himself.
Bobby noticed Sam's hesitation and gestured towards him with his own beer, "It's okay. You can trust me. The only thing that is added to the beer that wasn't there before is Holy water but since you're not a demon," Sam smiled at that, "you should be totally fine."
Sam saluted Bobby and finally drank beer. It was refreshing and soothing at the same time and made him feel relaxed and loose. He immediately tensed up again as Bobby stared at him.
"You're not the same." He sighed, "I guess that being in the cage and ending up with the Campbells and Crowley can change anyone… much less you, Sam."
As Bobby mentioned the cage, Sam had flashes of pain and cruel voices. He whispered, "The cage?"
At Sam's question, Bobby's eyes widened, "They really didn't tell you anything did they? Well, I hate to be the one who tells you everything—but you have a right to know." He gestured to Sam to go and sit on the couch in what could be termed the living room but rather it was just an open plan room that connected the kitchen and Bobby's main library/office. Sam drank once more from his beer as he walked over to the couch—hoping that once again it would relax him but at the sound of Bobby's sigh as he thought of where to begin, Sam's stomach just twisted into more knots.
"Sam…you and your brother Dean. You know who Dean is don't you?" Bobby stopped and smiled to himself as Sam nodded that he did, "At least they told you that. Well, it is a very long story going back to your parents—but the more recent story is that you sacrificed yourself to save the world from Lucifer or rather—you sacrificed yourself to save Dean."
"Lucifer? Isn't he a myth?" Sam asked, shocked. It was true that as a hunter, he had seen impossible things on hunts; things that normal people would never believe in a million years actually existed. But Lucifer?
"He does exist, Sam and apparently you were custom-designed from the time you were a baby to be his meat-suit." Bobby said, watching Sam's reaction to the news. He knew from talking to Dean that the first time that Sam had learned his fate being Lucifer's vessel—he didn't take it very well. And that was with all his memories intact and with his soul in its rightful place.
Sam went quiet. I was Lucifer's meat suit? He couldn't believe it—it didn't seem to be possible but yet hadn't he woken up with the Campbells, without any memory whatsoever? And somehow he doubted that Bobby or Dean didn't care enough about him that they would just send him there. A few things were bothering him though, like what happened in hell and how he even ended up with the Campbells instead of being back with Bobby and Dean. And where was Dean?
He immediately asked Bobby about everything he had been wondering about.
Bobby sighed and got a wistful look on his face. "You and Dean have both been to Hell and from what Dean told me—after I threatened him—you two apparently have a knack for getting yourselves into Hell and back out again."
Sam nodded and opened his mouth to ask another question when his cell phone rang. It was Samuel. Sam took his cell out of his pocket and looked at Bobby, apologetic. He didn't know why but he didn't want Bobby to know more about the Campbells than he already did. Sam wanted to keep things separate for now. Bobby, on the other hand, had no such feelings and he gestured for Sam to hand him the phone. He pressed 'accept call' and put it on loudspeaker.
Immediately, Samuel's voiced boomed out, "Sam! Sam! Why haven't you called us in the past two days? What about the hunt? Where are you? SAM! ANSWER ME!"
Bobby chuckled and answered for Sam, "You must be the infamous Samuel Campbell, grandfather to Sam and Dean Winchester? How do you do? I haven't introduced myself- I'm Robert Singer, honorary father to the Winchester boys."
After Bobby's introduction, there was silence on the other side of the line. The next words from Samuel were, "Where is Sam? If you have his cell then he's nearby. Let me speak to him NOW!"
Sam coughed to clear his throat and said, "Hello Samuel."
"So that hunt was just a lie, Sam? You just made up everything to run away from us—to Mr. Singer? Who isn't family despite what he says? I'm disappointed in you."
Sam responded with a soft whisper, "No, you were the ones who started it—you went behind my back. The whole 'we're family' crap was just a front for what you really wanted from me. You didn't care about me—not like a real grandfather should."
Bobby interrupted the conversation between Samuel and Sam, "And the hunt is real, just FYI. I've got two men out doing it so the only thing that Sam is guilty of is coming to me—and why should he feel guilty about that? You've have kept him from his real family—people who care about him."
They could hear Samuel's sneer over the phone, "Oh really, Mr. Singer? Then why haven't you or your precious Dean tried to find Sam like we did? We took care of him when he first came out of the cage…"
At the revelation that Samuel knew that he had been in hell and the cage, Sam exploded, "YOU KNEW? Why didn't you tell me? You knew that I wanted to know!"
"I'll explain everything you want to know, Sam, but just come back home to us."
"No. I can't. The Alpha Vamp was right and I trust Bobby to tell me the truth. I just don't trust you anymore. I won't be coming back." Sam knew that his behavior was borderline childish but he didn't care. He couldn't go back to Samuel and the rest of the Campbells. Ever. They wanted to use him and from what Bobby had told him—he felt that he had been used enough.
"Bye, Samuel." Bobby's finger hovered over the 'end' button. Samuel's parting words to Sam were that he wouldn't forget what Sam had done and that they would be coming for him. "Good riddance!" Bobby said, as he cut off Samuel mid-rant.
Sam smiled to himself as Bobby went on about his 'so-called' family. Here with Bobby—he definitely felt that he belonged, just on the virtue of being himself and nothing else. He didn't have to prove himself. He was accepted.
Getting back to what they had been talking about before Samuel called, he asked, "Bobby, where's Dean? Did something happen to him?" It was the one thing that Sam was dying to know but Samuel's call had interrupted his and Bobby's Q and A session.
Bobby looked at him and replied, "Dean's OK, I suppose." At Sam's look of horror, he hastened to explain, "He and I haven't talked to each other in about a year, when he went off grid. Before you…ah…jumped, you had asked him to go to see an old girlfriend of his—Lisa and her son, Ben. As far as I know, that is where he is. He didn't want to continue hunting without you by his side."
"And how did you know that I came back?"
Bobby smiled at this, "Well Let's just say that a mutual friend of ours came to me and told me that you were back topside and that one day you would call me for help. He wanted me to know and not to be so skeptical when you finally came—that it would really be you."
Sam got up. "Bobby thanks for everything you've told me and for letting me come—being a virtual stranger and all. I guess that I'll just be on my way."
Sam turned to open the door and go outside but Bobby stopped him, "Sam—you're welcome to stay as long as you want, or you can leave. I won't stop you. But what about Dean? Doesn't he deserve to know about you being back? He was a wreck when you jumped into the pit and he definitely hasn't been the same. Yes, I've told you that he's left hunting—his reaction to losing you—I can tell you that your reaction to losing him three years ago to Hell was the exact opposite. You went 'Super-Hunter' determined to avenge him. But you two are exactly the same in one thing—you need one another to really live and be happy. It's twisted, no question about that, but that's the way you two are—inseparable."
"No. Dean got out of this life and I'm going to continue to let him keep his 'normal'. He deserves it. He also doesn't need his screw-up little brother back in his life."
As Sam and Bobby headed down the steps to the car, Bobby shook his head. "No. That's where you're wrong Sam. Yes, there is no doubt that Dean—and you—deserve to have a normal, no hunting life. But Dean deserves to have the choice—to come back or to stay with Lisa if he wants to. Don't be like Samuel or your Daddy—give him the choice to decide what he wants to do. Besides that, we're going to need him with the whole Samuel and Crowley thing. We'll need all the help we can get."
Standing next to the car, Sam looked back at Bobby and finally nodded, "OK. I don't like it. But you're right. Dean needs to be told and given the choice."
Sam got into his car and Bobby bent through the open car window to hand him a piece of paper. "This is Lisa's address. Drive safe you hear? Call me when you get to a motel or whenever. Just to keep me updated. Good luck, Sam."
Sam put the car in reverse and drove off to see Dean. He felt like he knew his brother but mostly through his dreams and they were supernaturally altered. Sam had no idea how Dean would greet him. But he had to try.
SIA SIA SIA
A few days later, Sam sat in his car and glanced up at the house across the street for a long minute. He then looked down at the piece of paper clutched in his hand highlighted by the car light. He had been doing this routine for the better part of an hour. The piece of paper had Lisa's address written down on it, and was—Bobby told him, the place where Dean was staying.
The house was lit up from inside, with pretty white curtains at the windows. Sam couldn't see much from where he was sitting in his car, but he could see vague silhouettes, three of them, in one of the rooms. The residents of the house were sitting down to their supper or relaxing afterwards. Sam couldn't be sure.
Sam sat in his car for a few minutes glancing at the house and then at the piece of paper, occasionally putting his hand out to open the car door. He stopped himself. He just couldn't. Despite what he had promised Bobby—to tell Dean he was back and to let him decide what he wanted to do—to come back to hunting or stay with Lisa. What would Dean think of him? Of not contacting him as soon as he had remembered him—Sam knew that he did try to find out where Dean was in the beginning—before Samuel and the cousins got a tight grip on him and his sanity on Crowley's behalf. Sam felt ashamed because he just knew that if Dean had been in the same position, he would have been smart enough to see that he was being played. Dean would have resisted the brainwashing and come and gotten Sam.
Sam was just a failure. Why should Dean want to help him? Dean now had another family—Lisa and Ben. He, for sure, didn't need a screw-up of a little brother who couldn't do anything right. As his thoughts turned dark and inward, Sam closed his eyes and rested his head on the headrest. When he finally opened them and glanced back at Lisa's house, he noticed a figure wearing a beige trench coat standing in the glow of the streetlight.
Sam quickly got out of the car and jogged across the street to where the man was standing. "Hey!" He called as he slid to a stop next to the man, reaching out to grab him. "What are you doing?"
The man turned to face Sam and smiled, "Hi Sam. I was wondering when you would get out of the car. I thought that I'd give you a little push."
Surprised that the man knew his name, Sam took a step back. "How do you know me?" Frowning a little, he automatically reached for his gun—it wouldn't do much good if the man was one of Crowley's demons but it made him feel a whole lot safer.
The man chuckled. "I suppose that you wouldn't remember me. I'm Castiel and you could say that I'm a friend of yours and Dean."
It dawned on Sam—the cryptic message. "You were the one who sent me the message about contacting Bobby didn't you?"
Castiel sighed. "Yes, that was me. At the time, I knew that you wouldn't take kindly to seeing me—being with the Campbells and under Crowley's thumb and all. I felt that I had to do something to help you—hence the message. I see that you did receive it or else you wouldn't be here."
"Yeah. Bobby told me that a mutual friend of ours informed him that I'd be coming and not to be too skeptical. You again I suppose?"
Castiel laughed, "Yes. I knew that it would be harder on you without adding Bobby's neuroses to the mix. He tell you what he did to your brother when he came back from hell?"
"A little, I don't really have all my memories back yet so it was nice to hear about things that had happened to me. I still feel that something is missing and while Bobby has been a big help… it just doesn't feel 100% right to me. So here I am…" Sam gazed at the house—where his brother was, without him.
"Yes, here you are. And I'm here to help. I know how you can get your soul and all your memories back."
"What are you talking about? How is that possible?"
"And you call yourself a hunter. It won't be easy, but you've taken your first steps towards regaining them." Soberly now, Castiel continued, "I wasn't aware that they had decided to separate your body and soul. I guess that at the time, they thought it best, because of the extensive torture you went through." As Castiel spoke, Sam got flashes of cruel laughing voices and a bright light. "You were in the In-Between Place which is the most secure place for human souls. It is sacred to both angels and demons. They couldn't have known what Crowley had planned."
"Crowley took my body?" Sam asked. It did make sense—since how else would he end up with the Campbells and be trained to do Crowley's bidding?
Castiel nodded, "Luckily for us, your soul was being kept in a different area so it was kept safe. I went to the One and asked to get your body and soul back together—and he agreed."
Sam raised his eyebrow, "So why don't I have my soul back in my body then?"
Castiel gestured towards Lisa's house, "For a start, you aren't ready to face the burden that comes with having a soul yet. You'll need your brother's help in getting your soul back completely as well as dealing with Samuel Campbell."
Sam gazed back sadly at the house, "Do you think that he'll accept me?"
"Knowing Dean as I do, it would never occur to him not to, and what is that saying? He would squeeze you?" Castiel thought for a second, "Huh, no—it is—he would beat you to a pulp for even thinking that. So why don't you go and find out what he really thinks?"
Sam took one step towards the house, drawn to it by his own longing. A longing to finally belong and ifit/i somewhere again. Here was his second chance. As Sam took a few more steps towards the house, he turned back to thank Castiel. There was no one standing underneath the streetlight. Sam shook his head in dismay—how fitting for his guardian angel of sorts to disappear when it was least expected.
Turning back towards the house, Sam soon found himself standing at the door. He could hear the voices inside talking and laughing.
Sam took a deep breath, lifted up his hand and knocked on the door.
Almost immediately, a familiar voice called out, "Hang on! I'm coming."
Sam knew that voice. He had heard it in his dreams. It was Dean's voice.
A distorted shadow filled the tainted glass panel in the front door as the handle turned.
He noticed that Dean opened the door with a smile, "Hello…what can I…"
Sam took another deep breath—this was it. "Hi, Dean."
Even without all of his memories, Sam knew that it was one of the few times he had caught his brother off guard. Dean just stood in the doorway stunned and speechless.
"Sammy?" Dean breathed.
"Yeah, Dean. It's me." Sam replied with a catch in his voice.
Sam's confirmation was all it took for Dean to shake out of his frozen state, he immediately stepped forward, still hesitant as if he could not quite believe that it was Sam standing in front of him.
Dean looked at Sam's face and with a sob grabbed a hold of Sam hugging him for dear life—as if he planned to never let go of him again.
Sam sighed. For the first time in a very long time, he actually felt safe. He knew that what Castiel had said was true—all he needed was Dean. Sam still didn't have all of his memories or his soul, but he knew that with Dean's help and support, he would get them back. He had Dean now by his side and together, Sam knew they were unbeatable.
A/N: This is the last part of the story and it is completed. However, I do have ideas for a sequel which will continue focusing on my version of Sam in the aftermath of his discovery with a lot more of Dean in it. So please feel free to add me as an author alert to get a notification of when the sequel will be up.