Another Day in Star Trek!!

By lone-apprentice

All's normal aboard the USS Enterprise, Kirk's sitting in his chair with his legs crossed in a girly manner, Spock has a HUGE hearing aid type thing in his ear, looking at his little screen, McCoy is in Sick Bay rehearsing in his mind how to say 'he's dead, Jim', and Scotty's calling Kirk on the intercom saying, "Captain, she canna take much more! She's gonna fly apart!"

"Sir, the Klingons are retreating." Spock says, matter-of-factly at Kirk who looks at the screen.

"Yes, but they won't just leave without a fight. They have something up their sleeve, only…what?" Kirk then sees a woman materialize on the deck and wink at him. He get up and holds a mirror in front of her face saying, "That's beautiful."

All of a sudden, Kirk disappears to the planet below, leaving Uhura to stand and scream, and Spock to run to the exact place that the Captain was last at and look around as if he had just shrunk. Meanwhile, on the planet, Kirk fights with his rival, and after falling on the ground, his shirt is amazingly torn into shreds. He gets up, wipes the small trickle of blood from his mouth, and says to his rival, "I'm…not…an…evil…person…like…you."

Then, Spock beams down to the planet along with McCoy, and about ten redshirts. Spock begins to read his tricorder, and says that the Captain is 'that way' with his hand pointed out. McCoy runs off with Spock, along with five of the redshirts. One of the redshirts steps on a rock, causing it to explode, and kill him. Suddenly, five Klingons beam down, and tell them to explain why they murdered an entire Klingon outpost. The two groups argue fiercely, and suddenly their phasers turn into swords. They run at each other, automatically knowing how to fight like a pro, and Spock manages to slip in a nerve pinch, and McCoy manages to slip in a cross chop. The two escape, and leave more redshirts to die.

Back at the fight between Kirk and his rival, they both fall off of a cliff, and struggle to even turn over on the ground. Spock and McCoy run to Kirk, and inform him that they can't leave because of a deadly virus that will kill everyone on the Enterprise if they go back with it. Kirk beats his rival, and is suddenly back to full vitality. They all go back to the fight with swords, and Checkov takes the Klingon commander's wife hostage. Kirk takes her, and tells the floating entity to leave. All pitch in, and McCoy says, "Yeah, out already!" Spock comes up and twitches an eyebrow, suddenly causing everyone to burst into a fit of laughter because if his ignorance.

Scotty comes up and tells the Klingons that they are dirty bastards, and they need to all die. "Scotty, what possessed you to say that?" Kirk asked, dumbfounded.

"They called the Enterprise a garbage scow! Sir!" Kirk gets a look of hate on his face and walks over to the Klingon.

"Where is your smile?" The Klingon asks.

"My what?" Kirk snaps.

"The idiotic smile that everyone around here has." About that time, a munitions dump is blown to kingdom come, and the Klingon looks at Kirk. He points to a speaker on the wall, and Kirk suddenly starts a fight. Someone holds a tribble in front a man's face, and it goes wild. The man removes his mask, revealing he to be a Klingon. The room fills with gas, and Scotty punches a Klingon in the mouth before leaving. Three redshirts die in the gas, and Kahn turns on a monitor showing the Captain in the decompression chamber, looking faint. Uhura screams, and Lt. McGivers leaves the room.

McCoy gets a heartbeat monitor and checks everyone's heartbeat. There is one left beating, and Kirk goes to investigate. Everyone on the bridge finds himself or herself in a position to take their glove off and get a strange hissing liquid on their hands. Sulu goes crazy and runs around the ship with a sword. Spock goes hysteric with crying, and Lt. Riley sings 'I'll Take You Home Again, Cathlene', over the loudspeaker. Nomad erases Uhura's memory, and kills a redshirt. The M-5 takes the ship over, and obliterates five other starships. Suddenly, the Captain runs onto the bridge, yelling, "I've lost her!"

The End?