Title: The Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor
Summary: A story of blushing Professors and young love. L/J.
A/N All that can be said is: enjoy!
Really, it was just a stupid bet made by a stupid person about a group of stupid people. Stupid, really.
I never agreed with it, I might add. Peer pressure, some say; blackmail's popular. But it was really just a case of bribery. I mean, who wouldn't turn down Alice's chess set? That thing is lucky gold, I'm telling you. The pieces are just genius.
And here people believe that Alice is more of a Hufflepuff than a Gryffindor. If anything, she's a Slytherin for sure.
"It'll be fun, Lils! Think; we can finally get rid of Potter and his crew!"
"You know, I don't appreciate being part of a "crew"," Peter Pettigrew said from the other side of the sofa, scrunching his eyebrows together in supposed concentration... or thought. Both were hard, I guessed. Maybe I was being too harsh - I mean, the kid was a whizz at Potions, but actual spell work?
"Gosh, Pettigrew, I knew you weren't the brightest Lumos in the school, but at least try," Alice, my best friend, said with a sigh, but she smiled at Pettigrew to show she was joking.
"Well, Roberts, dear Wormtail here struggles in particular things that some of us god-like figures find easy. Hey, Evans," Black said, in his way of greeting.
"LILY-FLOWER!" The group, consisting so far of Alice Roberts, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and myself, groaned. "Evans, Lily-flower, my love, my life, my heart of hearts, the apple of my eye, the sweet to my pea, the chocolate to my Moony, the hair gel to... myself, how are you?"
"Well, Potter, you see, I'm considering doing my Herbology homework and currently wondering if you can, what was the word? Go to hell."
"Such foul words from such a beautiful, luscious, moist, rosy red, kissable pair of lips, Evans," Potter said, staring now.
"Ignore the brat, Lily; he hasn't had his morning coffee yet. But what do you say to our deal? Just a little bet? Please? For me?" Alice asked, leaning forwards and making puppy dog faces that rivalled that of Black's. She pouted.
"Bet?" I swear Pettigrew's ears sprung up. "Did you say bet?"
"Well, ladies, I believe you'll have to include us, don't you?" Black asked, nudging my side suggestively before I raised my wand threateningly. "Relax, if I wanted a suicide mission, you wouldn't be the prize."
I huffed. "It's just a bet to see..." I paused, blushing and praying, not for the first time, that I didn't have red hair that matched my cheeks. "Alice bet that I couldn't make six different professors blush in one day." The boys present gaped.
"Lily Evans, involved in a prank? The Lily Evans, the perfect Prefect extraordinaire?" Black asked, just after Pettigrew promptly fell off of his chair.
"Well, please, don't be melodramatic." I rolled my eyes.
"I offered her my chess set if she won," Alice said, her eyes glinting mischievously. That girl was a demon.
"The chess set?" There was another crash as Pettigrew collapsed again. Potter barely glanced down.
"He'll be fine in a few minutes. But seriously, the Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor? The object of obsession for the entire five members of the Chess Club in Hogwarts, and all the rest? The one people swear is graced with the magic of Merlin?" Potter gushed, albeit somewhat sarcastically. Maybe.
"That's the one."
There was a three-part harmony of "We're in" following that announcement.
"No way," I said, shaking my head just as Alice said "The more the merrier!" We two friends glared openly at each other, waiting for one to back down. "Fine! Include them!"
"Let's make this more interesting..." Black said, smiling mischievously. "We bet that the two of you can't make six different professors blush in one day; however, one of those six professors must be Professor Dumbledore." We all nodded.
"And how about, if we win the bet, we get your chess set and you aren't allowed to scorn us for one whole week..." There were sounds of protest. "Hear me out! If you win, you get to both keep the chess set, and we will hereby refrain from pranking for the entire of said week."
"The numbers aren't fair though; you could tamper with the bet. It's three against two," I protested weakly just as Remus walked down from the boy's dormitory. "See! Now it's four against two, and you have Remus!"
"How come he gets a first name?" Pettigrew mused, waking from his floor-induced slumber, but we all ignored him.
"What's happening, guys?" Dorcas Meadowes, another of the sixth year Gryffindor girls, came down sleepily from our own dormitory. Marlene McKinnon followed, obviously more awake, and bounded over to a vacant chair.
"You guys can have McKinnon and Meadowes! It's fair now!"
"What have we just gotten ourselves into?" Dorcas wondered aloud, and Alice briefly filled her in. "Ohh, the Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor!" How had that nickname caught on?
"Marlene, how do you fancy having a prank free week?" I asked the blinking blonde haired, hazel eyed girl, who smiled broadly at the option, showing all her teeth. I laughed at her eagerness, as she bounced over to the sofa to where I sat.
"More than anything..." She faded off wistfully. "I can catch up in Transfiguration! McGoogles has been stalking me for ages, I swear. But what's the catch?"
"Against them? Oh, dear. Evans, what've we been dragged into?"
I pointed to where Alice had just finished filling in Dorcas, who frankly looked horrified and not in the least bit excited, except for the prospect of owning the Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor, as it was apparently now named.
"What d'you girls say? Are you in, or are you in?" Potter asked after also explaining the terms to Remus, who rubbed his neck wearily with a look of distress upon his scarred face.
We all looked at each other. Green met blue met brown met hazel, as we all silently agreed. "We're in." Little did we know, we were in deep.
"Are you sure we have to do this?" I whined to an Alice who was strutting through the corridors, looking considerably more confident than I was feeling right this moment.
"Of course we have to do this, Lily! If not for the sake of our school and our dignity, then at least for The Chess Set!" How it deserved capital letters, I didn't know, but Alice felt that that was necessary, even in thought, now.
"But, couldn't we take Polyjuice potion or something?" Dorcas begged - it was nice to have somebody on my side.
"We don't have time for that! Girls, we have a schedule." We all groaned, but Alice took no notice.
"Lily, you're first up with Professor Slughorn in Potions - that's your first double - whilst Dorcas, Marlene and I work together on Professor Vitrum. Then, all four of us work to break Professor McGonagall as she's a tough pumpkin to crack. We'll all be with Professor Bibbetty in DADA before lunch after which Marlene'll work with Professor Sprout and you, Dorcas I will give Professor Flitwick a go. After that, every teacher is free game."
"All I did was come down to the wrong place at the wrong time," Marlene said regrettably, shaking her head.
"More like all we did was befriend the wrong people," Dorcas muttered to herself, biting her lip and rolling her eyes. I sighed along with her, nodding in Alice's direction as my mousy haired friend rambled on.
"Dorcas, I don't even know why you're complaining; you're just taking the pictures for evidence. Now, people, Slughorn and Vitrum will be easiest, but we have to be especially careful with McGonagall. She's had six years worth of the Marauders, after all."
"Why, my little protégées are you planning? And I had such high hopes for you, Roberts," a voice said from behind me.
"Grow up, Black. We're going about this logically. I don't see you even attempting to win the bet," I said with a scowl. Black only grinned and flashed his canines at me. "Well, that's fine with me. I want Alice's chess set."
"Lily!" Alice admonished.
"Sorry, sorry, I want Alice's Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor, Ruler of the Giant Squid and the Conqueror of Champions."
"Nice touch there, Lils."
"Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh yes, Black, if you don't do with strategically then we might as well play a nice game of chess now and kiss bye bye your reigning record of one detention a week. No pranks remember. Whatsoever. Have fun. Adios, toodles, au revoir, TTFN, goodbye."
"You're scary when you rant," Marlene commented, pushing her hair out of her wide eyes. I shrugged modestly. "Now, Black, we don't want any funny business, you hear?"
"Coming from you, McKinnon, that means nothing," Potter said, coming up and reforming the epic duo. Black had looked a little lost without him. Potter winked at me and flashed what he considered to be a flirty smile. "But for you, Lily-flower, anything."
"Oh, Christ, not this again," I mumbled, hitting the palm of my hand against my forehead.
"Pureblood," I pointed out in way of explanation as both Black and Potter stared even more blankly than usual at me. They both 'Ahhed', obviously satisfied with this conclusion.
"You know, I never did agree to participate in this so-called bet," Remus also said, joining his fellow "Marauders" along with Pettigrew. "I was bribed, I say! Against my will - I could not refuse. Blackmail! Torture! Sacrilege!" He called, grinning like a mad-man.
"What did they bribe you with? I was offered a month of Transfiguration homework and Alice's Chess Set if we win."
"I was undone with a month's worth of Honeyduke's finest chocolate, Alice's Chess Set and a new left shoe." Remus glared at Black with this last statement.
"Hey, Moony, you may have been less than comfortable with only one garment on your left foot, but at least Prongs enjoyed the freedom of shoeless walking!" Black protested, as Potter got this weird sentimental look in his eyes.
"It was like walking on clouds..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Moronders-" Alice laughed slightly at her own joke. "How's your bet coming along?"
"Bet? What bet? Please, this is like charity - taking a blood-flavoured lollipop from a baby," Pettigrew said. Everybody stared at him. "I can be funny!" Everybody chuckled at that. "What?" We were silent. "What's wrong? I don't understand!"
"Doesn't matter, Wormtail. Of course you can be funny - why else would you be a Marauder?" Potter asked, grinning.
"Because he's a sixth year Gryffindor, maybe?" I asked sarcastically.
They ignored me. Spectacularly.
"Well, fellow blushers, we must be off to go and find our blushees!" Alice cried happily, tugging on my arm whilst everybody else present muttered "that makes no sense..." as we all wondered off in our different directions.
"Good luck," Dorcas said mournfully, armed with her magical camera as she decided to follow Marlene and Alice to Divination.
"Shall we depart, my Lily-flower? Padfoot, Wormtail, you coming?" Potter asked.
"Of course, dear Prongsie, I wouldn't miss NEWT Potions with Sluggy and Snivelly for the world!" Black replied with a roguish, boyish grin that rivalled that of bad boys across the country.
I mentally slapped myself as I headed to class with the three imbeciles I called my classmates - even if it was an extremely loose term.
At first, I tried compliments. But Professor Slughorn seemed to take them in his stride, possibly finding it my moral obligation as a student to compliment him.
"You know, Professor, I heard that you make the best Draught of Living Death..."
"Professor Slughorn, is it true that you know the captain of the Quidditch team the Magpies? I really do love that team, but it's just so hard to get autographs anymore, but you seem to have done it so easily. What's your secret, Professor?"
"You know, Horace - can I call you Horace? - I was voted best Potioneer of the decade by Witch Weekly? I mentioned you in my interview..."
Nothing seemed to work. Nothing, I tell you!
So I tried to resolve the problem with the blushiest of methods; embarrassment.
It was actually easy; just a few choice mistakes that wouldn't be the end of the earth, but enough to get Professor Slughorn flustered - and yet, he wasn't yet blushing. I would have to deliver my killer move.
Taking a firework I had stolen off Potter when he was too busy complimenting my hair, I snuck over to where Severus Snape stood and peered carefully into his cauldron, where his no doubt perfect potion was now simmering.
"Your potion's looking a bit peaky, isn't it?" I asked.
As he was distracted by me, and staring intently into my eyes trying to find an ulterior motive, I let my hand open.
And there was the desired effect. The potion (that of Slughorn's protégée no less) exploded in the face of my old friend. I felt a spark of remorse- small, indefinite and unwanted - but still there. He hadn't done anything, not then anyway.
But then I caught an amazing sight. Professor Slughorn turned blue, then green, then white, and finally, bright, beetroot red. I drew my Sudden Shot Camera out and pointed it at Slughorn's face. I placed it back in my pocket a few seconds later, knowing that the picture had been taken instantly.
"Well, it has to happen to everyone at some point, Severus, at some point..." Slughorn looked close to tears, and I felt a bit guilty towards him too.
"Alright, class, you can go early," the Professor said, waving his hand in dismissal. Nobody questioned the request and all gathered their things and hurried out of the dungeons.
"Ahh, this bet is going brilliantly, guys," Potter said, winking at me from just in front. Wormtail trailed behind him and Black, who just laughed and clapped his friend on the back heartily. "I can feel a week of Maraudelles' pranks coming up."
"Maraudelles?" Pettigrew asked with vague curiosity.
"Yeah; Maraudelles. That's what Evans, Roberts, Meadowes and McKinnon are gonna be called after they fail their honorary first prank. Me and Prongs made it up just now," Black said proudly, grinning like a madman... or an excited puppy, depending.
"Well, thanks for the vote of confidence, Black," I drawled as I came up behind them, swinging my hair over my shoulder.
"Yeah, well. Hey, Prongs, Wormtail, have you seen my Celestina Warbeck record? I'm sure I left it in the dormitory but I can't find it anywhere, though I did find your fourth year Quidditch sock Prongs..."
"Celestina Warbeck? Who's she, Black?" I asked, suddenly interested in their conversation. I still loved learning everything about the wizarding culture - it was a guilty pleasure of mine that hung on the brink of a slight obsession.
"Oh, um, just a rock artist. You wouldn't be interested, Evans - a lot of crashing and banging," Black explained, looking strangely flustered.
"Oh, okay then. We've got to go; we have Transfiguration."
"Lils! Over here!" I took my seat beside Alice and Marlene, with Dorcas on Marlene's right.
"How did it go with Professor Vitrum?" I asked the trio, who all grinned widely at me. I took it as a good sign.
"Oh, it was brilliant, Lily! All we had to do was predict her death and she got all red and flustered! Dorcas got a great action shot of her screeching and running wildly around the room, blushing. If that's not proof I don't know what is."
"That's great; Alice, but now we've got our problem." We all turned towards the front of the room, where Professor McGonagall had just finished sorting through her papers.
"Well, then, my Maraudelles, let's get to work."
At first we tried compliments, but Professor "McGoogles", as Marlene insisted she was called, waved us off easily. She had watched Potter, Black, Remus and Pettigrew grow up, after all. They were the reason for the streaks of grey now running through her hair, I was sure.
We then tried embarrassing her using the Potter and Black methods and contradicting her.
It didn't work.
"I have an idea," Dorcas said, half way through the lesson when we were at our wit's end. "Just go with it, okay?" She smiled uneasily and cleared her throat.
"Professor McGonagall? Ma'am?"
Professor McGonagall turned around slowly, waiting until the last moment to connect her green eyes with the blue of Dorcas'. She raised a black eyebrow, waiting patiently for an explanation.
"May I help you, Miss Meadowes?" She asked after just under a minute of awkward silence.
"Well, you see, Professor, Your Highness, that - well - I don't mean offence but - well - - Your Majesty?" There was an odd, sort of shocked silence that had settled over the room once more as we waited with baited breath.
It came slowly, at first. A light tinge on her high, pale cheekbones and then a fully formed blush so obviously appeared. There were groans from where Potter and Black sat.
"Detention, Potter, Black, in my office at 8pm, tonight. Don't be late," the Professor finally said.
"But Professor, for once we had nothing to do with this! We were completely innocent and any involvement which may be linked to us is completely involuntary, we swear!" Potter protested as Black hurriedly shouted a garbled mess at the same time.
"Minnie, McGoogles, Prof., you can't possibly blame this on us! Alright, we may have been in the wrong in the past, but we're turning over a new tree! Is it tree?"
"It is leaf, Mr Black, turning over a new leaf. And I'm giving you detention for the banned Dungbombs lurking in your back pockets, not for whatever involvement you may have in Miss Meadowes' ... interesting query, of which I shall not answer."
"Fair enough," Marlene whispered, causing the glare of Minerva McGonagall to be reigned down upon her.
"That went well," Alice said cheerfully as Dorcas sat at the other end of our desk looking mortified. "Now, who's next?"
As it turned out, Professor Bibbetty was the easiest to make blush. All the four of us had to do was bat our eyelashes carefully at the balding man (never again, I might add) and he was putty in our hands.
"Well, um, ladies, it is very hard to, um, fight a drag-dragon, I suppose. Er, and if you look back to, to, um, page 113 then there's an am-ample picture of a dra-dragon on the- on the first half of the um, pa-page. I have, er, once, in my pa-past, fought a, um, dragon, successfully..."
"Merlin, that was even easier than Professor Vitrum! Honestly, guys, we should do things like this more often," Alice chatted away excitedly.
"Should we go to lunch?" Marlene asked with a sigh as Alice continued on.
"I think I have Quidditch practise tonight but it's no trouble as there won't be any pranks to prevent me getting there. The bad thing about being Keeper is that there are a number of things even your own team can use against you! The hoops just seem to be too easy a target to miss; apparently... honestly, we'll never win against Hufflepuff if we don't get one good practise in!"
"Sure," Dorcas and I chorused before leaving Alice to her mutterings alone in the corridor.
"So we've already had four teachers down - Slughorn, Vitrum, McGoogles and Bibbetty. All we need now are either Flitwick or Sprout and Professor Dumbledore. Then we have the Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor and a whole week free of pranks!"
"And a month's worth of Transfiguration homework," I pointed out.
"Oh, it'll be heaven, Lily. Think, being about to go to the Great Hall without putting multiple protection charms around ourselves and the younger years..." Dorcas trailed off, smiling broadly.
"Speaking of protection charms, are you ready?" Marlene asked, stepping in front of us after slipping her wand into her sleeve. "We don't want any more accidents like last time." I nodded gratefully, and cast a few spells around me.
"Let's go then, and see what eventful lunch awaits us today." We all marched, arm clichéd-ly in arm.
When we opened the doors of the Great Hall, we found that lunch had only just started, and that there were plenty of spare seats at the Gryffindor table. I glanced nervously around.
"Where are they?" I asked, searching the large room for a sign of the so-called Marauders. Surely, they would've wanted to catch up with them on their prank? So why were they still not here? Something didn't feel right.
"Maybe Remus finally whipped them into shape?" Dorcas wondered aloud.
"We all hope it, but alas, Remus' Prefectly duties can only go so far," Marlene offered, shaking her head mournfully.
"It's quiet," I said. "Too quiet."
Really, we all should've been on red alert by then, especially after six years of anticipating pranks every minute of every day, but maybe we thought we finally deserved a break. Maybe Severus' exploded potion did something to my brain, or maybe McGonagall put a spell on us in revenge.
Only after the Great Hall had basically filled up with most of the students of Hogwarts did we hear it. It was an odd sort of terrified shriek that echoed from the Hufflepuff table.
We all turned towards the obtrusive sound.
A small girl's face, only a third year, had morphed into an odd mixture of - was that a badger? - and human. She had whiskers, a small shifty nose, and spoke only in horrified squeaks.
It was only the beginning. The Ravenclaws sprouted eagles' wings and beaks and squawked, annoyed. The Slytherins' hair turned into snakes, much like the Greek gorgon Medusa, and they hissed frantically. And the Gryffindors, you ask?
I would've liked to say that the Gryffindors were rolling about on the floor laughing their heads off, but instead, our laughs turned into equally terrifying and terrified roars.
I looked around and found that the hair of the Gryffindors students had either shortened or grown to form a mane.
"Potter!" I tried to desperately shout, but all that came out was a loud, deep roar that I immediately stopped. All around, students were panicking and the teachers, albeit not Dumbledore, were frantically trying to resume order in the lunch hall.
Five people then walked into the Great Hall, four amused and the other bewildered.
Remus was shaking his head, Pettigrew was looking up at Potter and Black in awe, and the "dynamic duo" was laughing animatedly. Alice, the fifth member, was looking slightly shocked and put out, and more than slightly annoyed.
"Honestly, you boys don't have an ounce of control do you?" Remus highlighted the truth of that fact by bursting into laughter almost against his will.
"Oh come on Roberts, look at those Slytherins! It's a brilliant new hairdo for Snivellus compared to his earlier hair-don't. And the Hufflepuffs are having a great time!"
And oddly, they were.
"Don't try and sell this to me, Potter," Alice said stubbornly, just as Marlene was caught licking the back of her hand contentedly. A rare sort of sly smile started to creep onto my best friend's face as she fought down her chuckles before hiding them behind her hand.
"How did you do it?" Alice asked suddenly, looking at the four boys, who all winked at each other surreptitiously.
"Wormtail made the potion," James started, pointing towards Pettigrew, "and Moony did the research to put all the charms together," he gestured to Remus, "and Padfoot and I did the spell casting." They all grinned.
"It was hard work," Remus said, pushing his hair away from his forehead. "Mainly just a lot of Metamorphmagus spells were used, like Animalium and Verus." Alice nodded, interested. Her, me and Charms were a trio made in heaven, if I do say so myself.
"BLACK! POTTER! PETTIGREW! LUPIN! My office, this INSTANT!" A voice screeched over the hissing, squeaking, squawking and roaring.
"Minnie, dearest, we're right beside you; is there such a need to shout?" Potter asked, a charming smile plastered onto his face. I gagged behind my mane of red hair.
"Miss Roberts, I expected better of you than to encourage them," Professor McGonagall said, shamefaced. Alice apologised, and went to sit beside the rest of her fellow lions. She took a sip of the pumpkin juice and I mentally slapped her.
"Hey, Lily, how's progress going with Pr-GRRR!" I shook my mane and patted her shoulder with my slightly paw shaped hand.
When Alice, Dorcas and I had finished complimenting Professor Flitwick, we met up with Marlene, who had just had her NEWT Herbology class.
"So how did it go?" I asked her, whilst Dorcas added to our collection a picture of a bright red Professor Flitwick. "Did you figure out how to work my Sudden Shot Camera?" Marlene looked close to tears as she shook her head wordlessly.
"I didn't need it! No matter what I tried, she wouldn't blush! If I complimented her, she shrugged me off modestly. If I tried to embarrass her, she just laughed! Nothing worked!"
"Those Hufflepuffs are pure evil," Dorcas comforted.
"Hey! I hope you know that that's my boyfriend you're talking about here," Alice said, affronted.
"Alice, it's okay, you're far more evil than Frank," I comforted. She nodded and uncrossed her arms to hug Marlene. "And Marlene, it's fine; we have to do Professor Dumbledore, remember? It was part of the deal. And besides, we all got a picture of Professor Flitwick easily. We'll be fine," I cooed.
"All we have to do now is find the Headmaster," Dorcas pointed out. Suddenly we were all silent when we realised that we had no idea where he was.
"Well, it's the end of the school day. We've got until midnight to find him," I said, glancing nervously at my Muggle watch from my mother.
"Okay. Marlene, you take the Great Hall, the dungeons and the kitchens. Dorcas, you take the Headmaster's Tower and the second and third floors, I'll take fourth and fifth, and Lil, you can take the sixth and sevenths floors. Girls, move out!"
"Who let her take control again?" Dorcas muttered.
"It's the power of the Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor. It's getting to her."
I rounded the corner of the seventh floor. The sixth floor had been basically abandoned, apart from a few disused classrooms homing couples that I deducted points from (I had a reputation, okay?) The staircases were also killing my feet, and I almost got caught on a few choice trip stairs as well. I sighed.
When I had reached one of the final corridors of the seventh floor, nearing the Ravenclaw common room, I started to pace.
"Where is Professor Dumbledore? I need to find the Headmaster..."
After my common sense had begun a rant in my head about talking to myself was the first sign of madness, I kindly informed it that it was none of its business if I talked to myself. I then banged my head against one of the walls for my own stupidity.
I looked back to find a door, one much like my bedroom cupboard at home, in one of the stone walls that I swear hadn't been there before. I peeked inside cautiously.
Inside, I found a small sort of reading room, with a jar of sweets on the table, library books on the shelves and socks piled neatly in one of the corners. Resting in an armchair was the one and only, Professor Dumbledore.
"Oh, hello, Professor Dumbledore, sir!" I exclaimed gleefully.
Finally, a prank free week was headed my way. The white haired, blue eyed man peered at me through semi-circular glasses, a mischievous glint hiding behind the spectacles. I gulped, somewhat nervous, and shuffled my feet.
"Miss Evans, funny meeting you here," Dumbledore said cheerfully, marking a page in the book he had been reading and placing it on a nearby table.
"Some would say coincidence," I mumbled. "Sir," I added as an afterthought.
"Ah, but you do not believe in coincidence, do you, Miss Evans?" I looked up suddenly. "That is a very wise head on such young shoulders, my girl. Very wise indeed."
Looking past the Headmaster, I saw a faraway mirror leaning against one of the walls. Backwards words were engraved on the top, but I was much too nervous to figure them out. I blinked at my reflection, which winked back at me. I gasped, and moved as if to go nearer...
"Oh, no, Miss Evans, I don't think you should see that. Not yet," Professor Dumbledore said kindly. I turned around to look at him, broken away from my reverie.
"Professor Dumbledore, sir, are you alright? You seem to be a bit pale."
The old man chuckled happily. "Oh, I suppose it's one of those nice sweet your charming young boys gave me when they sat detention with me not two hours ago now. I thought I suspected a good piece of spell work on it, but you know what I'm like. Sweets and socks will be my downfall!" The Professor gave a delighted smile.
"So, you knew what those sweets would do?" I asked, abashed and affronted.
"Of course." Professor Dumbledore winked.
"But, Professor, you're supposed to be on our side!"
"Oh, but Miss Evans, aren't we all on the same side?" He asked mysteriously, before swishing his cloak and walking back up to his office. "If you ever fancy a pumpkin pasty, Miss Evans, you only have to ask," he called behind him.
Batty, I thought, completely batty.
By the time I returned back to the common room, it was late. And by late, I mean I had missed dinner, missed curfew and was most likely on my way to missing breakfast. Not yet, though.
"Evans!" There was a cry as I turned towards seven different faces, all waiting expectantly.
"I found him," I started, and they all leaned forward. "But..." I faltered, and then, suddenly angry, I turned towards the four boys. "You cheated! You knew that Professor Dumbledore would never be able to blush after eating those sweets! You lying, filthy, barbaric, miscreants-!"
"Evans, calm down! For one thing, you could've just asked where Dumbles was. And for another, you could still just ask for the antidote to those sweets," Potter said.
"If you think I'm going to beg, Potter, you are extremely mistaken!"
"Lils, we could just ask for the antidote. We can still win this," Alice said, clutching her chess set to her heart.
They all looked at me expectantly, and I cleared my throat. My own face colouring yet again, I opened my mouth to splutter whatever words I needed to get that antidote, a week's worth of prank-free learning and Alice's Chess Set, when a chime interrupted me.
We all turned to each other as another chime struck, then another, and another, until the final and the twelfth sounded.
"I do believe, Miss Roberts, that you owe us that Chess Set," Potter said smugly as Alice reluctantly and regrettably handed over her chess set to an exuberant Pettigrew.
"And here we have our contract," Black said, pulling a scroll from his back pocket. "If you can just sign here, here and here..."
"And what's this, Black?"
"It's a contract to make sure that you don't criticize our pranks for the period of an entire week, or face the consequences. Sorry, Lils, but they had to made, just in case. And by the way, I still want my new left shoe and Honeyduke's chocolates," Remus, no, Lupin said with an apologetic look on his face.
"I do hope you know that, in my head, I'm now referring to you as Lupin, Lupin," I said to the tawny haired boy.
"To the Maraudelles,
Dms. Evans, Roberts, McKinnon, and Meadowes, purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers, do solemnly swear that they are hereby up to no good for the disclosed period of one week. Terms and conditions include that they must, at all times, support the actions of Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. They must also sign over rights to the Holy Chess Set of Gryffindor. Disobedience to these rules are committed at the disobeyer's own risk. Mischief managed," Alice read aloud.
The four boys grinned at each other secretively.
"Alright, Black, a deal's a deal after all," I said after a few short minutes of silent contemplation.
"Hey, Evans, do you want to go to Hogsmeade with us this weekend? We have to buy Moony the whole of Honeyduke's, anyway," Potter asked.
I looked at him, somewhat nervously as I shuffled my feet. "We'll see, Potter, but only if you do my Transfiguration homework," I replied with a grin. I swore he looked like he was about to cry with happiness as I rolled my eyes.
All I could dream about when I finally went to sleep was of the image in the mirror, with me holding the hand of an older Potter, a black haired, green eyed baby in my arms.
Alice informed me the next morning that I had smiled the whole night.
So, for me, that was the longest one-shot in the history of long one-shots. I've been itching to write a humorous LJ story for ages now. I know the prank was slightly cliched, and the characters may have been OOC for you, but I really hope you liked reading it just as much as I loved writing it.
Remember, become a purveyor of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers everywhere by clicking on that nice shiny button below!