Warnings: Implied character death

Disclaimer: If I owned Pushing Daisies, it would still be on TV /3

One push and I can end it all. One push and all my troubles will be over. That's all it'll take, just one simple push. To send the mysterious brown-haired temptress sprawling into the man in possession of my heart could mean the end of them, and the beginning of us.

I've tried everything I can, but I can never seem to forget him. My undying, yet unrequited, love is like a flame, and no matter how hard I try to extinguish it, my burning passion will always reignite. My love has grown from simply a flickering candle into a blazing inferno, a destructive rage set to savage and but anything in its path. But I don't need to set fire to anything; all I need to do is push...

How does Ned love the girl who he cannot touch? Can't he see that my heart yearns for him? Is he really that blind? Just when things were starting to heat up between the two of us, when for once I actually believed I might be with a chance of winning the Pie Maker's heart, the younger, prettier contestant, the dark horse of the competition, finished the race before me, grasping his heart so tight he'd die if she let go.

I am a victim of the cruelest form of love there can be: the kind that is unrequited. I love Ned with my entire heart, body and soul, and not a fraction is returned. His heart belongs to another. They say it is better to loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Whoever said that obviously had never spent a day in my shoes! It's cruel, sick, to love someone so much and not have any of those feelings reciprocated. To add insult to injury, I have to witness their displays of affection every day with a brave face, to pretend that it doesn't bother me, to pretend that I'm not dying on the inside. My love is completely wasted on Ned, but I can't help it. Every time I look at him, I melt and gush like a schoolgirl gazing at the high school hottie. I am a ticking time bomb of emotions, and Ned is the detonator. Every time I look at him, or he looks at me, every time I'm next to him and his hand brushes mine...

And then there's Chuck. With her beautiful figure, angelic face, gorgeous hair and eyes, fit with a loving and charming personality to match, it's wouldn't take rocket science to see why he likes her. Standing next to a has-been like me, there's no competition. But why does he choose to be with her? They can't even touch for crying out loud!

I may dress a bit provocatively sometimes, but I'm not a man-eater or anything like that. I'm just hopeful that maybe a man will look at me and maybe, just maybe, Ned may feel that tiny hint of an all-too familiar emotion we call 'jealousy'. A fraction of what I feel every time he's with his beloved childhood sweetheart. Oh, what I'd give to trade places with her, even just for an hour. Minus the none-touching part, of course.

I could sing all my troubles away, drown myself in pie, but what good would it do? If I could just push her in front of Ned and see just why they refrain from contact. Would it end their relationship, permanently? Or simply strengthen it? Would it be a waste of time?

I know I sound cruel, but God knows I didn't choose to feel this way. If I could change the way I feel as easily as I could change the channel on the TV, I would be a happy woman. Blame Cupid, Venus, Aphrodite, God, Buddha, karma, Mother Nature, whatever you believe in. I certainly didn't choose to be buried so deep in unrequited love that there's no way I can dig myself out.

When did anybody ever care about my feelings anyway?

They're standing in front of me now. Conversing, laughing, joking. About me, I bet. About how foolish little Olive Snook still hasn't gotten over her pathetic little crush on the man who bakes pies who clearly doesn't give a Pigby's ear about her. They're always keeping secrets from me, sometimes including me in their games, sometimes not. Would it really kill them to include me once in a while?

I see Ned smiling, a rare sight. Ned isn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve. No, Ned keeps is heart firmly hidden by several layers of clothing then scribbled out with black marker. He's not a one to let his emotions be known.

I see the chemistry between the two of them, how happy Ned is when they're together. If Ned is happy, then shouldn't I be happy? Do I really have the right to end the relationship I have no place in?

They're kissing now, with plastic wrap of course, but kissing nonetheless. How I wish it was my lips he was kissing. Instead I get a mere memory of a three second kiss he didn't even return.

How is it that Chuck gets the whole package and I'm left with memories? What gives her the right to watch the film in 3-D Imax and I only on the small screen? Don't I deserve some happiness too? I bet she hadn't even thought of him during their 30 year separation. Ned certainly never mentioned her.

It would be the perfect opportunity now. No-one else is around to see. They're walking towards the exit, her following him...

Oh well.

Here goes nothing, I guess..

How does it end? I'll leave that up to you.