A/N: Aaaand crazy GG is back from an nine month break. Oh heck, I suck so much. Procrastination. I think that would be my Splat Fact, to be honest: Procrastinates a lot. Shame, I'd want my Splat Fact to be "Is an art ninja" or maybe "Aims to be the future Mrs Lansing-Gant". Because that's what I'd like it to be. Aaaah, shut up GG, stop banging on about your Splat Fact and do the writing!

...Fine well I'll...do the writing then...

...

"So yeah, I were like "what?" and he was like "aaaah?" and I were like "neeeeh." and he were like "shut up yer dumbo" and I were like "shut up yerself" and he were like "ah just forget it, neeeeeh." And that's why yer never trust a kangaroo."

"Oh really?" Ballista said, completely uninterested. Why did she let Kook convince her to take Hetty-Ann on as her room-mate? She was a complete pain in the splatbow, she just wouldn't shut up.

"And don't even get me started on koalas." Hetty continued with her ramblings, oblivious to Ballista's uninterest.

Ballista continued to fake an interest and went back to filing her nails, wondering just how much longer the platypus pain would be staying at Castle Splat.

"So yeah. Anyway, super bonzas, Kooky's taking me out tonight."

"Yeah, I know, you mentioned that, like, twelve times today." Ballista thought as Hetty squealed with such enthusiasm that her pet lap-platypus leaped from her grasp and scrambled under a table squeaking uncontrollably.

"Aaaah! Perri! Momma's soooorrrry. So like anyway, he loves me soooo much and I wuv him so much and Kooky's my little snuggawuggahugglepie!-"

Ballista was on the verge of vomiting, she couldn't bare overly lovey-dovey talk. She was regretting interfering when Kook had told her he had a crush on Shaiden, if she hadn't, she probably wouldn't be going through this hell.

"-And did I ever mention how much I wuv him?"

The huntress grabbed one of her tartan covered pillows and rammed it over her ears and yelled, "Shut up with the love stuff, outbacker!"

...

Kook nervously paced the stone paving as he waited for Hetty-Ann, his eyes occasionally moving to the small remains of puddles in the corners of the stones. He was breaking up with her today, he wasn't going to let hurting her feelings get in the way. He repeated his planned strategy on how he was going to do this over and over in his head.

Be firm. Just say "Hetty, I'm sorry but I've been thinking, and don't think things are gonna work out. I think we should break up and go our separate ways". Don't chicken out, you're not a chicken, you're a kookaburra. And don't lose your nerve. Be firm. Ju-

"Kooooooky! Kooooky! Hi-AAAAAAAAAAH!"

Kook's train of thought was broken by the sound of the platypus tottering up the purple flagstones, repeatedly tripping over her own large webbed feet and falling flat on her face. She picked herself up and skipped over to Kook.

"Heeeey Kook."

"Hiya Hetty," Kook replied, rather awkwardly, more focused on digging up every ounce of nerve inside of him to prepare him for what he was about to do, "y'alright?"

"Yeeeah, I'm okay, well, actually no, cause I chipped one of me nails and it's really eeewww and that blondie won't even let me use her nail tools to fix it. Just cause I stepped on a few of her hunty sticks. Sooooo, where are going out?"

"Do it now Kook, say it now, do it before you chicken out, say it, go go go," his mind was buzzing at him. But he couldn't do it. It was easy to be mean defending the Stockade or the Moat, you didn't know Attackers or how and what they felt. If you knew someone, you were far more aware of their feelings and how they'd react to something. That nagging thought of "well, you could make her very upset, and she'd probably hurt you a lot." It was pathetic and Kook was sick of his brain pulling that stunt.

"Kooky, are you even listening to me?!"

"H-"

"I said you better not be taking me on your usual joke shop and dancing dates, because they're like really boring and weird," the platypus scuffed the ground with her foot, "Y'know what Kooky? I'm getting sick and tired of you being so weird. Like, why can't y' be normal?" she huffed.

Kook wondered what on earth had attracted him to her in the first place, he guessed it was immaturity, how he had been able to see past her rather ugly true colours was beyond him.

"Well seeing as that's what you think, this seems like the right time to-"

"Neugh", Hetty continued to rant as Kook tried to interrupt, "Why can't you come back to the South?"

"You know I can't move back down south, Defender duty calls-"

"That's another thing, you and your little friends are weirdos. More than weird, they're crazy! Like, the savage is dumb, that knight's a psycho, the robo-guy's all...crazy and then there's the blonde one she thinks she's soooo pretty when she's not, I'm like way prettier than her,"

Kook felt some flames of anger start to burn inside of him, "D'you mind, those are my friends you're talking about," he said trying to calm his inner flames, rage and anger didn't come natural to him and he would rather have avoided it at all costs, it was just out of character for him.

"Like, don't talk to me like that Kook! They're lameos! I mean, that guy with the mohawk, like who does he think he is? He looks so stupid. And that blue one, she just acts all silent- is she mute or something?-" she made a noise that sounded like a combination of a snort and a laugh, "-She's got to be the most loser-ish of the lot, or one of the biggest, because they're all losers."

Kook's heart jerked, that comment had sent a flood of offence running through his body. His attempts at calmness were useless now, "Y'know, that's the final straw. I was going to try and do this nicely but after that, well you're not really worth that sort of consideration, not when you can insult someone's friends like that to their faces-"

"Like Kook, it's so the truth. And like, what are you talking about?"

"It's over."

"What's oveeerrrr?"

"Us. I don't have feelings for you anymore. And even if I did have feelings for you, I wouldn't have any now, not after that display."

He knew he what he was saying may have been considered mean and that he could have been more caring in his approach, but those insults had really ruffled his feathers. It hurt to hear things like that said about his friends, let alone about Shaiden. He took those things to heart and it hurt. He could hear the child-like whines emitting from the platypus and wanting to avoid hearing anymore of her stupid and ignorant nonsense, turned and walked away.

A/N: Heheh, surprise. You thought this fic was dead, didn't you? I could never let my fics go dead, I hate finding a good fic that's turned dead, it's like finding a novel with half its pages ripped out. I really can't stress how sorry I am guys. Let's just say this fic was in a cryogenic sleep for a bit...yeah, I like the sound of that. I didn't mean to not update, it's just that I've had writer's block and a big old distraction called Tumblr...and I could say my minor anxiety condition stops me writing on some days but that sounds stupid and no one would believe me. But I admit it was mainly Tumblr.

Heck, I feel terrible. I haven't updated for nine months and all I can produce is something rather badly written (ah, my eyes burn from the OOCness). I really hate writing anything with dialogue or emotions, my social understanding is very impaired, I know it's not an excuse but I guess I'm using it as an excuse. It's something I do drastically need to improve on, but if I were to go out and learn social skills you'd have been waiting here for another 17 months or so to get an update. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter out soon. Now please excuse me as I have a Shaiden cosplay I need to finish sewing. Um, Happy Halloween if you celebrate, I mean, I'm not very keen on it myself but um...yeah. *tumbles off*