Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Author's Note:This is, apparently, what happens when my brain is trying to avoid writing threesome sex scenes; I have no other explanation for this story. Fear not! No actual sex appears in this fic and Ron was not physically harmed in the writing - though he may have suffered some mental anguish. *evil grin*
Any canon goofs, grammar mistakes, continuity errors, implausible characterizations, bad dialogue, boring passages, and Americanisms are entirely my fault.
PLEASE NOTE: "A Little Sisterly Intervention" was written in October 2004 - seven years ago - and as such is not compliant with HBP or DH.
Summary: One night in the unspecified future, Ron spots Harry and Hermione sneaking out of Gryffindor Tower. Curious, he follows, until someone hexes him from behind and takes him to an unused classroom... Companion fic to "A Clean Getaway," not compliant with HBP or DH.
A Little Sisterly Intervention
"This," said Ginny, holding up a picture of Hermione, who pressed her lips together and glared out of the frame, "is a Girl."
Ron groaned in frustration. "Ginny, I don't think-"
"And this," continued Ginny, loudly talking over his protests and holding up a picture of Harry, who looked as though he'd be shuffling his feet if they'd been photographed along with his upper body, "is a Boy."
She shot Ron a significant look. "Girls and Boys often get together in special ways. This can be a simple as a Kiss, or as complicated, messy, and important as Having Sex." The pictures glanced at each other and blushed madly.
Ron's face flamed along with them. "Ginny! I'm not an idiot!"
"That's debatable. Now, Harry is a Boy. Hermione is a Girl. And they happen to like each other." Ginny brought the two pictures together, and the photographic images reached behind the frames to grasp each other's hands
"Look, I know this. I found out last month - you don't have to tell me. I just wanted to keep an eye on them, make sure nothing happens."
Ginny smiled serenely and set the paired photographs on one of the dusty desks in the abandoned classroom. "Oh, I know. Don't worry, that was only the introduction - you've passed with flying colors. Now we'll move on to more advanced topics."
Ron pulled against the charmed ropes binding him to the chair, wondering again how his little sister had got the drop on him. "Ginny, let me go."
"Not yet. Now, this is a Girl." Ginny held up a new picture, this one of her own face, which winked at Ron. He divided his glare between his flesh and blood sister and her photographic twin.
"This is another Girl," said Ginny, holding up a picture of Luna Lovegood, who smiled and blinked vaguely in Ron's direction, her pale eyes disconcerting as always.
Ron had a sudden bad feeling. "Ginny - oh, bloody hell, Ginny, this'd better not be-"
Ginny grinned. "Sometimes Girls don't want to get together with Boys. This might be because Boys are idiots, or because they just like Girls better. So sometimes Girls get together with other Girls. And Kiss. And Make Out. And Have Wild Monkey Sex."
Ron strained against the ropes, managing to jerk his chair a few inches toward his obviously insane sister. This couldn't be happening - Luna Lovegood? Ginny? What about Dean?
Ginny perched on the desk, a knowing smile on her face, as Ron slowly subsided into angry, helpless silence, the charmed ropes chafing even through his robes. This wasn't the way the world was supposed to work, sod it - he was the one who looked after Ginny, the one who wound her up. She wasn't supposed to push him around.
Ron fumed, glaring at his smirking sister. He had to get control of this situation somehow.
Ginny checked her watch. "Okay. It's eleven; they're long gone, wherever they're going." She grinned at Ron. "Don't worry. I'm not having wild monkey sex with Luna. I just needed to keep your attention until Harry and Hermione made a clean getaway."
Ron sputtered. "But! I'm tied up! I couldn't- why'd you bother- I wasn't going- Ginny!"
His sister, who was probably still suffering residual possession from second year - yeah, that must be it - smirked. "Well, I had to stay and watch you, didn't I? I wasn't about to sit around being bored, and your yelling gets old after a while."
She hopped off the desk, tucking the pictures into her bag. "I'll uncharm the ropes and let you untie them yourself. See you tomorrow! And don't blame me - blame Hermione and Harry - they're the ones who asked me to keep you out of the way."
Ron waited until she cast her spell, and then found words pushing involuntarily out of his mouth. "You're not really... with Luna? Right?"
Ginny pulled Luna's picture out and studied it, letting Ron get a good glimpse of the photograph; Ginny's image had joined Luna's, and the two girls were exchanging conspiratorial whispers and grins.
"Well, that depends," she said. "What do you think?"
As Ron gaped, forgetting all about untying his bonds, Ginny winked and slipped out of the room.
AN: Thank you for reading, and please review! I appreciate all feedback, but I'm particularly interested in knowing what parts of the story worked for you, what parts didn't, and why.