A/N: I read one book and I get obsessed with 'time'. Figures. Anyway, I don't know how to explain this story, but if you find it confusing try reading it from end to beginning (I'm not joking.)
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
Story Details: The life of Sam Winchester -reversed. I use events from various episodes up to season 4 (don't make me list them, you know what's from where.)
Warnings: Wincest. Slash. Generically dark themes. Mentions of Sam/Ruby (only a brief reference). Character's death (-but not exactly.)
In thwenty-three years, three months, twenty days, forty-four minutes, one second, and a fraction of the next... Sam will kiss Dean.
He will ignore Bobby, and that awful slut -Ruby- and he will hustle Dean in a lip lock as soon as Dean gets in arms length.
And Dean -Dean. Dean. You're here, you're here. Don't leave me again. Please, don't leave me again!- will kiss him back with such a ferocious passion that Sam will feel weak in the knees.
They won't even notice how Bobby will smile and drag a reluctant Ruby out of the motel room to leave them alone.
They will fumble with clothes, tear shirts, step on toes as they'll struggle for control. Sam's back will be against the wall, then the table against his hip, then the bed against his calves and just like that he will be naked and sprawled out on the mattress.
"Dean..." Sam will begin to chant from deep inside his throat, and Dean will be over him in a flash and they will be gone. Their bodies will rock and slide, cocks brushing and rubbing, Sam's heart will stutter into triple speed overtime.
Lips will be everywhere along Sam's skin, tracing his muscles, teeth will bite into his flesh, passion pulsating within ever fibre of Sam's being -more intense than Sam could ever even dream. Dean's mouth will be wet and blood-hot over the hard line of Sam's flesh and he'll barely have time to completely register what's happening when the press along his entrance will come.
Sam's instinct will be to jerk back; crawl away. He will argue with himself, to stop being stupid. He will say "It's, Dean. He came back to us. And we'll never gonna let him get more than a couple of feet away from us, ever again."
"Sammy," Dean will breathe the words along Sam's swollen flesh and smirk when it'll twitch in response. "I missed you so much."
"You... you did?" Sam will whisper in awe, lifting a head to stare bleary eyed at his brother, legs spread wide, Dean's body fitting so easily between them.
Dean will laugh -the world will smile at Sam again- as he'll slide a finger into his mouth, sucking on the flesh and releasing it with a pop. "Yes, you dumbass. D'you think I wouldn't have? Now shut. Up." And with these words will come the sudden, burning pressure of Dean's finger sliding all the way up in Sam with one quick shove.
Sam will feel uncomfortable and weirdly full in a way he won't be able to determine if it's pleasant or not. But Dean will start sucking on his cock, keeping him hard and gradually that burn will dim down to nothing, until Sam will finally feel compelled to shift his hips and experiment with the intrusion.
Three fingers after, and Sam will be writhing on the bed like a needy virgin, begging and pleading for his brother to just fuck him already.
"I'm gonna fuck you nice and long, baby," Dean will inform him with a growl, as he'll bend Sam's body up in a way Sam could safely say he'd never curled before.
Feeling Dean in him will be much more than fingers, smooth edges thicker and longer and deeper than anything should be and Sam will have to gulp down deep lungfuls of air to keep from passing out on the spot.
It will be slower, longer and more intense than anything Sam would've ever experienced. Each time Dean will thrust in, Sam will be thinking he can't possibly get any deeper and something will spark along his spine and no amount of sucked in air would keep his vision from blurring.
They will rock and glide and crash together and Sam will see Dean's eyes wide and bright, glassy with lust and a love that will seem to make everything else fade away.
Everything will take on a different level of intensity and Sam, who will never admit it out loud because Dean will tease him for life, will feel less like they are fucking and more like their very souls are twisting and threading together. Sam will lose all concept of time, falling into every sensation and pleasant burn until Dean's hand will curl around his weeping cock and tug vigorously.
Half a dozen hard pulls and Sam will lose control, meeting Dean's thrusts eagerly, greedily, clenching around him to drag Dean over the edge along with him. They will lay in a collapsed pile, sharing the same air through kisses that will transform into surprisingly tender and soft ones. Inevitably, their bodies will part and Sam will sigh as the weight of his brother will shift to the mattress beside him.
"Sammy?" Dean will whisper, curling a hand around Sam's waist, encouraging him to come closer.
"Hmm?" Sam's head will fall to rest on Dean's shoulder, eyes watching the steady rise and fall of his brother's chest.
"I'm really happy I came back," the older hunter will whisper and Sam's heart will swell.
"I know Dean," he will nod and roll on his other side, shifting Dean to spoon him, lacing their fingers together on his stomach. "I'm really happy you came back too."
Sam won't have the faintest idea wherever it will lead them; this path they'll be on. But he will know it had started the moment Dean died and he will know it'll continue now that Dean's alive.
In twenty-three years, two months, seventeen days, two minutes and thirty seconds, Sam will fuck Ruby hard and fast.
He will pound into her, trying to mold her into the floor, only because she's not human, she can take it and she deserves it.
He will be angry, drunk (almost continuously day after day,) disgusted with the world -that has the nerve to keep functioning without his brother in it- and tired.
Sam will be very very tired.
In twenty-two years, eleven months, nineteen days, thirteen minutes and one second, Sam will watch incapacitate as Lilith's Hellhounds attack Dean and tear him apart.
"No, no, STOP. Noooo. Stop it! STOP IT! NOOOOOOO!"
He will cry over Dean's mutilated corpse.
The world around him will collapse; and only then will Sam realize that there isn't really much to this world at all. The most important thing, the center that captivated the bigger part of Sam's attention, will be gone.
With Dean dead, Sam will take steps, inhale breaths, eat, drink, sleep, and with every passing second he will fade away a little more. He will cry until he has no tears and his brain hammers against his skull, as exhaustion tugs him into strange dreams, that qualify as nightmares to Sam, because Dean always appears in them as the innocent, happy 6-year-old he once had been (before he learned about Dad's job and that the world really is a very insidious place to live in).
And when Sam awakes it will only get worse, because in those few seconds when one is trapped between the haziness of consiousness and unconsiousness, he'll forget; forget that Dean is gone and the world has been replaced by this meaningless void, adamand to consume every last shade of Sam's hope.
And no matter how hot he'll run the water, once inside the shower, his body will still ache as if from polar cold.
In twenty-two years, four months and one day, Sam will still be unable to find a way to save Dean from going to Hell.
He will become more ruthless and willing to kill anything demonic even if his prey is part human, like human witches, and even a fellow hunter, Gordon Walker, who became a vampire. Sam will reveal that he's trying to become more like Dean, who is more willing to kill human enemies; this reasoning is Sam's view that if he fails to save Dean's soul he must be ready to face a world full of demons on his own.
Sam will have no intention to face anyone without his brother by his side.
In twenty-one years, ten months and twenty-nine days, Sam will feel... weird. Like he's not supposed to be here; with Bobby, Ellen and Dean trying to track down Jake.
They will be unable to stop him from opening a gateway to Hell on Azazel's orders. However, Sam will manage to subdue Jake and kill him, and after the gateway will be closed again, Azazel will be finally killed by Dean. John, whom will have escape from Hell, will help to that.
"You know, when Jake saw me, it was like he saw a ghost. He said he had killed me."
Sam will learn that he was dead and Dean sold his soul to bring him back.
"How long do you get?"
"You shouldn't have done that. How could you?"
"I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job."
"And what d'you think my job is? You save my life, over and over, you sacrifice everything for me... don't you think I'd do the same for you?"
He will promise Dean that he will save him no matter what it takes.
"You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."
In twenty-one years, eight months and sixteen days, Sam will be transported to an abandoned town along with Azazel's other chosen children.
He will learn about Azazel's plans; that the last one surviving of these childern will be expected to lead a demon army (as the Antichrist). Sam will also discover the reasons behind both Jessica and his mother's deaths; Jessica was killed because her death would lead Sam back into hunting. As for Sam's mother, it is revealed that Mary interrupted Azazel during the process of feeding Sam demon blood, and thus was killed.
Sam will try to protect the other children, but various fights will ensue and escalate, and the children will be killed off one by one. Eventually, only Jake Talley and Sam will be left.
"Sam, look out!"
Sam will be stabbed by Jake.
"Sam, hey, hey, look... it's not even that bad. We're gonna patch you up, okay? You'll be as good as new. I'm gonna take care of you. I got you. It's my job, right? Looking after my pain-in-the-ass little brother... Sam? Sam. SAM. SAMMY? No, no, no, no, no."
Sam will die in Dean's arms.
In twenty years, nine months and seven days, Sam will feel hopeless.
Dean will be on the brink of death; and John will sacrifice his soul in exchange for Dean's life, in a deal with Azazel. A deal the boys will remain unaware of at the time.
While the boys will mourn for their father's death, Sam will feel the scathing sting of guilt for never having a chance to reconcile with John. He will be convinced that his father died knowing his own son hated him.
In twenty years, nine months and five days, Sam and Dean will rescue John, whom would be captured by demons. However, they will soon realize that Azazel -the one that killed their mother and Jessica- is in possession of their father's body. They will manage to subdue him, but killing Azazel will also mean killing their father.
And, though John will beg Sam to kill him, Sam won't be unable to do it and the demon will escape. Sam will be driving his father and a badly wounded Dean to a hospital when a truck, driven by a demon-possessed man, will crash into them -totaling Dean's Impala and gravely injuring the Winchesters.
In twenty years, two months and eighteen days, Sam will watch as his girlfriend bursts in flames on the ceiling. Dean will arrive just in time to save him from the fire. Sam will despise being saved.
He will go with Dean to find their missing father and to kill the Demon with the yellow eyes, in order to avenge the deaths of his mother and his lover.
He will spend days and weeks longing for Jessica's smile, the music that was her laugh, her long halo of golden hair, her soft skin, her gentle touch, her caring eyes, her beautiful soul.
Sam will miss the man he had become while she was by his side.
He will never forget her.
In seventeen years, four months, sixteen days, twenty-two hours and six minutes, Sam will say, "Dean." Nothing more. Just "Dean." And he will pray the name will be enough for his brother to forgive him.
In seventeen years, three months, twenty-seven days, three hours and thirty minutes, Sam will have a very heated argument with his father. He will go to Stanford University, with the intention of leaving his family and their hunting crusade behind him forever.
His father will forbid him to come back. He will say that the door will be closed for Sam. And Sam will not care. He will be fed up with his life, and desperate to create something different, light and good for himself.
"None of this is your fault, Dean. Know that."
"Because I'm tired. Because I can't do this anymore."
Finally Dean will ask, "D'you want a ride to the bus-station or something?"
Sam will feel his heart swell. "Thanks, Dean. I appreciate it," he'll say. And he'll mean it.
In twelve years, three months and fifteen days, Sam will have already started hunting alongside his brother and father. However, what he will want, more than anything will be a normal life without monsters. Nonetheless, Sam will write a story about him and his family killing a werewolf. He will be encouraged by one of his teachers to carve his own path in life, instead of following the "family business" shortly after.
Sam will start to think that there is more in this world apart from the creatures John and Dean always talk about. He will argue with Dean constantly -mostly about the way Dean obeys his father's orders without question, while Sam questions them and resents his father's treatment of them as loyal little soldiers.
He will start to ache to learn about all those other things.
Eventually, Sam will run away and he'll spend a few blissful weeks being a normal kid -with pizza, a dog and no knives or guns whatsoever.
His happiness will not last long.
In eight years, eleven months, and two days, Dean will reveal to Sam that their mother didn't die in a car accident and their father is not a traveling salesman. Dean will also introduce to him the existence of the paranormal, but he will hide from Sam that not even a month ago Sam witnessed a supernatural creature and almost didn't survive to tell the tale.
Dean will go on and on about the job and how Dad is the best hunter in the world and how this will be the family business one day, with both Dean and Sam joining Dad in his quest to avenge Mary's death.
Sam will stare at him. Just that.
In eight years, ten months and twenty-one days, Sam will be attached by a Shtriga. He will be sleeping peacefully on a motel bed and the creature will attempt to feed of his life's essence. Dean will be out, and when he'll get back he'll point a shotgun at the thing but he'll hesitate. John will arrive just in time to save Sam.
"Which part of 'never leave your brother alone' is hard for you to understand, Dean?"
"I'm sorry, sir. I was just out for a second-"
"A second is all it takes, Dean. I thought I could trust you to take care of your brother while I'm away."
"You can, sir. I'm sorry, sir."
"Daddy?" Sam will whisper disoriented, and unaware of his brother's almost fateful mistake.
"Sammy? You're okay, son, You're safe. I'm sorry, baby. It's okay, Dad's right here." and for some reason John will look pained when he says this, "I promise this won't happen again."
Dean will gaze at Sam with guilty hazel eyes and, in all seriousness, he'll mutter "Never again."
In four years, two months and nine days, Sam will come down with the chicken pox. Dean has never had it either, but John will not have any luck convincing him to leave in order to stay healthy. Even though he lets Dean choose between Parstor Jim's or Bobby's and promises it's just for a few days. Dean is having none of that. (Something about "my responsibility" and "my brother" and "my life.")
Sam's not sure, because everything becomes a little woozy at this point, but he thinks he remembers being fed a lot of soup. Also a lot of medicine. It's hard to tell the difference after a while. And he knows that sick people have vivid dreams or whatever, but he will swear that he remembers Dean never leaving his side. Taking Sam's bloated, pockmarked hand in his own, slim one and holding on until Sam falls back into a fitful sleep.
In six months, just as a clock will strike for midnight, Sam will watch as his mother bursts in flames on the ceiling. A strange man with yellow eyes will feed him something that will taste too obscene to be his mother's milk and then he'll disappear, just as Sam's father will run inside the room, followed closely by his older brother.
John will grab Sam off his crib and confide him inside the protection of his brother's arms. Dean will run, faster than ever before, out of the only place they would ever call home. Dean will clutch him as close to his chest as his small hands will be able to, soothing him softly, even though he'll be the one crying.
Sam will remember nothing of that night.
In 18 hours, Sam Winchester will take his first breath. He will be upside down and covered with blood, amniotic fluid and other stuff that will be too gross to mention. He will get cleaned up by a caring middle-aged nurse and, huddled snuggly inside a blanket, he will be placed in his mother's arms.
Mary Winchester will hold him close to her body, despite her exhaustion, and her eyes will shine with tears of pride and relief. Then she will lift her head from where it's muffled against his head and smile at her husband like she's the most happy woman in the history of the world.
And even though John Winchester will be tired as well -nerves rattled from the many hours of uncertainty he spent trapped in the waiting room, the weight of a small child sleeping against his shoulder- he would give up an entire week of waiting, without a second thought, if it means making his wife smile like that again.
The Winchesters will feel complete.