by: Riri-chi

Happy Birthday Rikan!

((This is a oneshot to show everyone that Amu might not end up with the right people and that she isn't always going to have a perfect life.))

note: any mentions of idols in here are not real people but based upon them. ;)


She was determined.

What was her goal? To learn how to cook so well without Suu's help, in hopes of winning over the her favorite idol's heart. No, not Utau Hoshina. Definitely not Ikuto or Tadase either.

In fact, those two boys were just another phase in her life. All of her friends thought she was going to end up with Ikuto but not everything goes right. Tadase was just another crush, but with Ikuto, everyone saw more. They saw how much he loved her with one single glance into his sapphire eyes. They instantly knew it. However, with the long distance apart from each other, Amu couldn't take it anymore so she dropped all contact with him.

As she continued to chop the celery bits, she looked over the counter and at her television to see Yuyo Metshishiya singing his latest single, Paralyze.

Her eyes sparkled and she blushed as she sang along with the words. She was mesmerized by his looks and his voice. His songs were so amazing and they made her like him more. They gave her an uplifting feeling to be more positive and to handle situations better. Secretly, it was also another excuse just to daydream about him but nobody would ever find out about that.

However, as she added in the celery bits into the pot while stirring the noodles, she started to wonder back towards her past. Everyone was always predictable about her and she wasn't going to lie about that either. Her fingers clinched the sides of her apron before looking down at the counter.

She honestly thought she was going to end up with either Tadase or Ikuto. Yet she's all alone now.

Amu continued to stir the noodles while adding in the chicken pieces that came with the pack. Silence seemed to filled the air as she drowned out all the noises around her. She was vulnerable now and she didn't feel like the heroine of the story either. But that's what everyone always thought she was; a main character. Her life wasn't escalating at the same level as her friends. She felt like everyone expected more from her.

A few teardrops escaped from her honey eyes while mixing in the sauce. She felt like a bad example of a main character. Amu wanted to know why she was slowly falling behind at this point in her life. Most of her friends had graduated from college and starting a job or some were off getting married. The feeling of sadness traveled all over body and she wished that somebody would be there to comfort her.

Alas, nobody was here. Her guardians characters were long gone and sealed back into her heart, her friends were too busy to even come visit, and her family was focusing upon Ami's wedding that they had no time for their eldest daughter.

She wiped away the tears and thought about her sister. Everything was so different back then because her parents always thought that she would be the one to get married first and that Ami would soon come after. However, Amu noticed that Ami was having a metamorphosis throughout her teenage years and grew up to be so beautiful. Some even said that Ami was prettier than her.

Amu wasn't jealous at all, in fact, she was happy for her sister. Once again though, Amu wished that she could get married too.

The pink strands of her hair plopped up and down as she moved across the room with her fresh, new plate of noodles. She worked really hard on the dish so she was hoping that the taste would be decent. As she sat down in her yellow plaid pajamas, she looked over to the side at her glass doors and towards the moon. Never before in her entire life did the moon look so exquisite. The moon's glowing shine made her feel safe and comfort from all of her problems.

Her honey eyes reverted over towards her television as she took small bites of her pasta. The burst of yummy flavor took her by surprise and she smiled. She felt like this was her first step into having a better life.

"Yuyo-kun is coming to the local Osaka area next week, be prepared!" Amu watched as the host of the show smiled with happiness.

"Ehh? Yuyo-kun is coming? I better prepare then!" Amu smiled.

Amu smiled at the screen as her favorite idol came out to leave a nice message for his fans before bidding goodbye.

"Ah, I hope you all are enjoying your night and I can't wait to be in the Osaka area soon! Stay true to yourself." Yuyo said.

Amu paused and dropped her fork into her pasta.

Stay true to yourself? Her thoughts lingered in her mind as she looked down. She had no reason to be upset about other people's succession. She remembered that she was a person too and she needed to work hard as well. A few more tears cascaded down before she looked over at her mail. Was she being selfish this whole time about everything?

Amu stood up and set down her pasta as she gathered her mail.

"You are invited to the Hotori-Aizawa wedding-" "You are invited to the Tsukiyomi-Tsubaki wedding-"

She sniffled for a bit while blinking down at both letters. This was a sign to her that she needed to move on. Secretly loving an idol was just an excuse to cover her hidden feelings for both guys. They still loved her but not in a romantic way. And she suddenly remembered that she knew it was a phase in her life. She knew that she was no longer a twelve year old girl but now she's an eighteen year old woman.

"It's time to get yourself together, Amu!" Amu slapped her cheeks.

She nodded proudly as she looked down at both letters. If these guys could find a second chance at love, then she could find someone to love her as much as they ever did. Concerning about her other friends, Amu didn't want to be a slug stuck up in her house most of the time.

This time, it was her turn to make the strong, bold move. Her fingers shook as she grabbed her cell phone and started to dial her best friend's number. Thinking back to the past, Amu remembered how she told everyone to follow their dreams and to have courage. Those exact words implied to her as well.

And this time, she wasn't going to give up.