AN: Warning for this oneshot. This will include mentions of sex, playboy's, and yes, gays. I just wanted to write about Riley and April's creepy conversations. This is gonna just be dialogue 'cause I'm seriously bored. Try to make sense of it.


I'm home and- April? God, do you ever leave my house?"

"Sure I do... sometimes. So watcha doin'? Ohh! Homework?"

"Yes. Sometimes I do do homework."

"Heh heh..."

"Haha April very funny. Aren't you a little old to laugh at the work doo doo?"

"AREN'T YOU A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE SAYING AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD?"

"...okay? Look. Make yourself useful and-"

"That's what she said!"

"Yes she said that because she's a wonderful and shophisticated woman with sex drives. Now go get me a pepsi."

"Umm..."

"April? You drank all he pepsi didn't you?"

"Maybe... I needed omething to wash down all those chips and stuff."

"... those were mine."

"Well duh. Someone would get mad if I took anyone else's."

"Swear to God April one day I'm gonna be daning on your grave that I buried you alive in."

"That's mean. Why you being mean? Jade not giving you enough satisfaction in-"

"Don't say it."

"B-"

"Seriously April. Don't."

"Beee-"

"My uncle has a lot of weapons in this place April."

"IN BED!"

"WHY'D YOU SAY IT?"

"Because I'm evil. And besides, you and Ana should be together. Not Jade. She's a whore."

"You said that so naturally that I think you've said that before. And besides, I don't feel like telling you my love life in bed."

Eww! EWW! Riley you're such a perv! Don't talk about dirty things! PLAYBOYS ARE BAD!"

"Playboys? I thought good people don't know about those."

"Well I saw them in your closet today."

"You were here all day?"

"Of course I was. And the playboy's were also next to... what do you call them? Playgirl's or something."

"I think Adrian put them there to make David think I'm gay. I'm so not gay though."

"Obviously. 'Cause you and Jade-"

"Really? You're starting this conversation up again? Because I think you-"

"Don't say something dirty!"

"Not everything I say is perverted April."

"My educated guess part of brain says your lying. Almost everything you say is perverted."

"Only when I try to make you scream. Besides, I think I'm pretty romantic."

"Yeah. In bed-"

"And you're calling me a perv? Your way more sick minded."

"No! You are!"

"How are we gonna settle this? Have a perverted mind contest?"

"YES! That would be Hilarious! I'll meet you tomorrow to plan!"

"...I was joking."

"Whatever. We're still doing it. See ya tomorrow."