WE OWN NOTHING (STILL)

The New League

Chapter 3

What To Do, What To Do?

Authors: As requested we now describe all of the characters in case you don't know about them. If we fail at describing them to you you can always try a google image search of them. Use the absolutely wonderful list that we typed up below to help you.

Name: Profession: Series:

The Master Being Master-like The Conquerors (Thats us.)

Edward Richtofen Mad scientist Call of Duty

Lucius Malfoy Former Death Eater Harry Potter

Muggshot Gangsta Sly Cooper

Blackheart Being Demonic Ghost Rider

Joker Clown Prince of Crime Batman

Russel Edgington Former Vampire King True Blood


Richtofen roared in anger at the sight of his zombies being driven back. "Ich töte jene bastard! Wenn ich mit ihnen getan werde, dort won' t ist genug, zum der Maden einzuziehen!" he screamed, with his voice becoming demonic in pitch and tone.

Blackheart gave the Mad Doctor some space. For the thousandth time, he cursed the Rider that had defeated him. At his moment of glory, he was beaten and dragged down to hell by his father. The Master saved him from that fate, but his powers were now reduced! Damn him!


The owl flew away from Hogwarts into the night. Behind it, the castle lay in ruins. The only mercy was that it was summer, so there were no students when the zombies attacked. The staff members began putting out the fires with the Aquamenti charm.

The bird with a mission flew to the Ministry of Magic. It dropped its letter on the desk of Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic. The sound of the letter hitting his desk woke him up. He woke with a start and instinctively drew his wand and fired off multiple spells. By the time Kingsley figured out that he was not being attacked most of his paperwork was on fire, his secretary was being chased by a huge green creature (with teeth), a chair was walking away, and it had begun to snow.

Seeing the situation he had accidentally created, he waved his wand and set everything back to normal. Kingsley spotted the letter on his desk and opened it. After ten minutes of reading it and re-reading it, he leaped for parchment and his quill.


Hidden Facility,

Bermuda Triangle, 6:30 am

"Thank you all for coming on such a short notice." said Kingsley in his deep baritone voice. He knew that he had to speak carefully. In this room were the Magical and Non-Magical leaders of the major nations in the entire world. If he spoke wrongly, he could very well start a war.

"It iz no problem, Minister Shacklebolt," said French Minister of Magic Jean Claude de Poisson. "Most of us have been effected by this ennuyeux organization."

Sabrina Spellman, the American Minister of Magic, spoke up next: "I concur with Monsieur Claude de Poisson. My assistant was threatened by the Joker himself when he held up a bank yesterday. I say that something must be done at once!"

German Minister of Magic Albrecht Barth began to speak. "Let us then decide vhat to do vith these unholde. But first, I believe ve are missing a few participants."

It was then that the assembled leaders heard arguing from outside the room. Some of what they heard was strange, some of it was violent, and a lot of it was disturbing.

There was a collective sigh in the room as everyone knew who was about to enter.

Two blonde men enterd the room in an all out brawl. They currently had each others hands around their throats attempting to strangle each other. Everyone looked on as the anthromorphic personifiacation of Britain and France tried to kill each other.

Yes, unaware to most people every country has a anthromorphic representation. They look and act just like normal humans except for that they act like just like the stereotype assosciated with that country and go with their boss (the leader of that country) to attend political meetings.

Right now Britain was wearing a green military jacket with short messy blond hair and black military boots. The person he was choking, France, wore a flashy blue shirt with purple cape that always made him stick out in wars. He had long blond hair that reached shoulder lenght and was messier than Britain's was. He also had a goatee.

Watching the two fight laughing at the sight while bouncing around happpily was America. He had sandy blond hair with a piece of hair sticking up like a cresent he called Nantucket. He wore a beige military jacket eith a brown bomber coat over that with a number fifty on the back.

Also looking on at the fight with a look of worry was China wearing a a bright green military jacket. He had long black dark hair that was tied into a pony tail.

Standing next to him was a broad and tall silver haired man with purple eyes bundled up in a big thick coat with some sort of medal near the heart. This was Russia. He aslo currently egging on the fight between Britain and France.

"Yeah yeah! Go for the jugular Aim low hit hard! Use your weight!"

China then turned around and spoke to him.

"Who exacty are you voting for, aru?"

"I vote indiscriminately da!"

Italy was hiding behind Germany, who was trying to figure out how to shut them up. After a few minutes, he came upon an idea.

"SHUT ZE HELL UP!" he shouted.

When everyone quieted down, Kingsley said, "Thank you, Germany."

"You are velcome."

"The reason that I have called you here is because of an orginization that has become rather troublesome." (In another dimension, a certain lazy genius sneezed) "We have all been attacked on our own soil. The question is, 'What do we do about it?'"

There was a long pause until America spoke up. "As the Hero, I volunt-"

"NO!" everyone screamed at the same time.

"But I didn't get to say my plan!" America whined.

"It doesn't matter, it would suck anyway!" said Britain.

"No it doesn't! It involves giant robots, flamethrowers, and-"

"SEE WHAT I MEAN?" erupted Britain.

"Quietus." said Kingsley. (During the evolution of the wizarding world, the wizards lost their creativity for naming spells at this point. This is evidenced by this particular spell)

"So anyway." Kingsley continued. "Our sources tell us that various criminal masterminds of the strong, the fierce, and just plain bizzare have teamed up in this organization. They appear to be technologicaly and magicaly advanced and dangerous. If no one else has any ideas I may have a solution to our problems."

Everyone else leaned in, eager to hear what he had to say.

"Ladies and Gentlmen we need...a new League of Extraodinary Gentlemen."


Authors note (again): Where the character of the human representation of countries comes from is the anime Hetalia. It's hard to explain but if you wish for a better explanation you should search it on Wikipedia. Also if you want to know what these characters really look like on Google Search type in Hetalia before entering the name of the country.