This is my first attempt at fan-fiction. I wrote this as a one-shot for the Dirty Talking Jasper contest. Who wouldn't be inspired to finally write by a dirty mouthed Jasper?
I fell in love with these boys and can't seem to stop writing about them, so this will be continued as a short multi-chap, probably eight to ten chapters. The additional chapters won't be as long as this first chapter, which is the original one-shot, just revised and tweaked a bit.
As I mention on my profile, the music of Nickelback is one of my muses. Far Away was the original inspiration for this story and definitely goes along with this chapter.
Thank you to the amazing service that is Project Team Beta, namely Marlena 516 and Twimarti for beta-ing this chapter. They had their work cut out for them with my first endeavour, for sure.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything Twilight but I do thank my lucky stars daily that Stephanie created it for us. This story contains boy/boy lovin' of all sorts, so please do not read it if you find that sort of thing offensive. You've been warned…
"This time, this place, misused, mistakes.
Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there's just one left.
'Cause you know, you know, you know…
That I love you, I have loved you all along.
And I miss you, been far away for far too long.
I keep dreaming, you'll be with me and you'll never go.
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."
Ch. 1 – In My Corner
I can't believe my eyes. He is here… in our city… in our bar? How? Why? He is supposed to be gone. Far away from my aching heart, my wandering eyes, my lusting thoughts. Far enough away that I might have a chance to move on and live some semblance of a functioning life without him.
And just when I was making progress – eating, sleeping, actually leaving my loft on a regular basis – here he is before me, as glorious as ever. I've even been on a couple of dates for fuck's sake! And it's been years since I've dated as opposed to mindless-fucking one-night stands with only men that I could imagine were him. Damn it!
Just one glimpse of him across this dark and dingy room is all it takes, and I'm right back where I started. In painful, unrequited, dead-end love. With him.
So I sit in my corner. Yes, my corner. Everyone that frequents this shit-hole knows that this corner wobbly-ass table and even less stable chair belong to me. No one bothers me here. This is where I've come since I've known him – loved him – to wallow in my useless self-pity. And now I sit in my corner, watching him. He's talking with our friends and laughing as if he doesn't have a care in the world. Carrying on as if his presence is an everyday occurrence. As if he hasn't been painfully missing from our lives these long seven months.
Thankfully, our friends don't blame me. Or if they do, they don't let on. They just accept that he had to leave. They accept that he couldn't be near me and that he had to move across the country to escape his best friend's feelings for him. Love. Lust. Longing.
How I'd hidden it for five long years, I'll never know. Hid it from him, that is. Our friend Seth knew, of course, even covering for me on occasion when I'd leave the group suddenly, unable to hide an impending panic attack or raging hard-on. I don't know how I would have made it through my years of silent hiding or these last months of open, sometimes quite loud suffering without him. With his help I'd eventually begun to heal. Until now, that is.
Speaking of... Seth keeps gazing my way, silently imploring as to my current state of mind. I look away, unable to reassure him with even as much as a weak smile or nod of my head.
And then, I'm locked in another's gaze. His gaze. My body is wracked with awareness and arousal. Sad eyes? I hastily avert my own to the floor. I need to leave – just stand up and walk out the door. If only the door weren't right beside where he is standing. If only my unstable legs would carry me. So instead, I rest my face in my hands, elbows on the table as if they can withstand the weight of the emotions building within me. Resurfacing.
Maybe if I just sit in my dark corner, they'll forget I'm here and not pay me any mind. They've left me to my withdrawn sulking plenty of times, teasing the brooding artist. "Leave him be", they'd chide, thinking me to be lost in my own creative world, on the cusp of my next big masterpiece. He especially attributed my mood swings to my art. "Always thinking. Always creating," he'd say. So to my corner he'd also leave me, unaware that I just needed to temporarily escape his scent, his constant heat that radiated to me in his every presence.
But no such luck. They all know now. Including him. Especially him. They all know of my true feelings, thanks to me and that fateful night when I let my guard down and drank way too much. Over the years, I had learned to avoid more than a couple of beers for fear of the effect alcohol had on my strained control. But it was New Year's Eve, for fuck's sake! And I was enjoying the evening with my friends and my boy. So happy he was out with us and finally free of his annoyance of a girlfriend… Bella. Always with the hanging. Always with the needy. Always with the nice. Too fucking nice, if you'd asked me, so obviously not what he needed. He needed passion and fire: feelings too strong to tame or control. Surely not her "vanilla." Fuck no!
But he had figured that out for himself and was so thrilled to be hanging with his friends and free. Sure, he felt bad that things hadn't worked out between them, but he was mostly relieved to start anew, hopeful to find someone that would make him happy. If only that someone could have been me. Unfortunately I slipped up that night and found out for sure that it would never, cannot ever be me.
His silky voice soothes me from my memories. I blink as I lift my head from my hands. Mere feet separate us instead of the safer distance of the room or miles from here to there. His scent consumes me. His heat permeates my starved soul.
"Edward," I croak, my voice barely a whisper.
My thirsty eyes drink him in. He looks tired. A weary demeanour mirrors my own. But so, so fucking beautiful. Untamed fire locks. Scruffy chiselled jaw. Broad shoulders. Slender waist. Low-rise jeans caressing muscled legs and tight black cotton unsuccessfully concealing the toned chest and abs that I remember all too well from our morning runs.
Finally, my gaze returns to his blushing face. Sparkling green eyes the hue of deep summer's moss, clearer than last they gazed upon me. Absent are the confusion and regret. Imploring me for something. But what?
"May I sit?" he asks. I try to hide the shiver that his soothing voice invokes as I nod and pull a chair from a neighbouring table.
I rejoice in his painful presence as he takes his seat with a hint of a smile gracing his ruddy lips. My heartbeat accelerates at his nearness. I question my sanity… Is he truly here, within arm's reach? Or could this be another vivid dream – another glorious nightmare from which I awake writhing… calling his name… so painfully aroused; only explicit thoughts of his soft lips and where our kiss might have led can bring me to my excruciating release. Temporarily sated. Until next I close my eyes.
Inhaling his scent brings me back to my senses. With every breath I take, I am assured that he indeed sits before me. But there is only silence. I have no words. What does one say, I wonder? What does one say to his reason for living? What does one say to the source of his pain? What exactly can I say to the man whose safe, naive existence I brought crashing down around him, causing him to immediately flee? From me.
Hesitantly, he asks, "Can we talk? I… I need to talk to you, Jasper. Somewhere more private… please?" As if I could refuse him anything. As if I would deny him his request.
I answer with a silent nod to the exit and immediately head for the door without so much as a glance back. Yet I know he follows for I feel his heat, smell his scent, consuming me from behind. My senses are confirmed as he catches up to match me stride for stride as we begin the three block trek to my loft. He does not question our destination. He knows where we're headed, having accompanied me home many a late night, crashing on my couch instead of making the short commute to his place. How many times had I feigned sleep so that he would succumb to his own slumber? So that I might finally be free to truly look at him, study him – able to let my guard down and thoroughly appreciate his masculine beauty, eventually retreating to my bed to masturbate to images of what could never be between us.
We walk in silence – so close, yet so far. So close that his arm repeatedly brushes against mine, sending shockwaves of awareness throughout my body. Electricity. Yet so far from where I want us to be, need us to be… in each other's embrace. An impossibility.
As we make our approach, my overwhelmed mind recalls that night as if it were yesterday; that disastrous night during which I finally confirmed the fate of our doomed friendship.
The ball had dropped, our coupled friends exchanging kisses. His constant presence from the evening had me painfully aroused as we sat together on my couch, the only ones without a significant other. My senses were besieged – head swimming from abundant alcohol consumption, body burning from his so near to mine, mind confused from too many mistaken signals. Our eyes met, lowering to glance at tongue-moistened lips. Swept up in the New Year's promise, I so foolishly misread a longing that I'd hoped finally mirrored my own. Without further thought, I brushed the back of my hand against his flushed cheek ever so lightly. Barely. He did not shy away but only seemed to understand what was about to take place between us. I slowly leaned forward and gently brushed my lips to his. He seemed to melt into me as my mind and body raced with his intimate contact of which I had craved for so long. Slightly deepening the kiss, my tongue requested entrance to his hot mouth as an involuntary moan whispered from deep within my chest.
Just then, Emmett spotted us and of course proceeded to infringe upon and ruin our moment. Our final moment.
"What the fuck?" he galumphed, sending us reeling. Edward immediately pulled away with such a look of distress on his beautiful face that my heart broke then and there into a million pieces. He retreated from the couch… from our embrace, with slender fingers touching his warmed lips, his eyes silently questioning me as to why and how? So many emotions graced his tortured face, the predominant one appearing to be disgust. As he fled into the night, I raced into the kitchen, emptying the contents of my stomach into the sink.
That was the last time I set eyes on him, heard his mesmerizing voice, felt his gentle presence. Until tonight. This night… during which he has just entered my loft by my side. As my eyes linger on him, he takes in various items in the main sitting area. The final photograph taken of us sits alone on the end table, demanding his attention; it was taken last Christmas Eve, just one week before his hasty departure. He slowly makes his way to it and carefully retrieves it, studying it before silently looking at me with knowing eyes. I briefly look away… the emotions, questions, and feelings I see there are too much to comprehend. Within seconds my eyes are drawn back to him. After cautiously returning our picture to its spot, he turns his attention to the brick wall on which resides various portraits I've painted of him. Some new, some old. All new to him. He takes them in before once again turning to me, searching for answers he fails to ask the questions to. Answers I don't have.
How did we get here?
Mental exhaustion is taking its toll. I take a seat on the couch as he begins to pace, running long fingers through sex hair and mumbling under his breath. How beautiful he is, even in such a flustered state. Especially.
Suddenly he halts his steps to stare at me, with me, through me. The silence is deafening as I continue to drown in the incredible sight of him. Incapable of movement except for my eyes as they glance down then back up, soaking up his sexy form once more. Forever more. I'm rooted to the spot – unable to breathe, unable to think, unable to communicate the multitude of emotions that battle within me. Elation for his presence. Confusion of his sudden reappearance. Fear of what is about to transpire. And of course my constant companion of raging arousal… for him. Only him.
Finally I regain mobility, and to do what? To quite obviously adjust my aching cock in my increasingly tightening jeans. What the fuck? I cringe as his eyes widen in witness of my indiscretion. Realization dawns on his face…
But no repulsion or disgust are apparent in his features. Awareness gives way to crimson-tinged cheeks as he uneasily shifts from side to side. Once again raking hands through hair, he glances down.
My glare follows his is in disbelief. I can't believe my eyes as I observe a definite bulge visibly forming in his jeans, as well…
What the hell?
Our eyes meet, locking once more. The air crackles between us, around us, through us as we share a suffocating moment. My voice eventually finds me. Having not uttered a word since returning his name back at the bar, I simply state, "You're here."
With a slow nod of his head, he just as simply replies, "I'm here."
Face still tinged pink, he raises an eyebrow and flashes that sexy crooked grin of his, but concern shadows his features. "You look good, Jas. But tired? Thinner…? I hope not because of me?"
I shrug in an attempt at failed nonchalance. I know what he sees when he looks at me now – a ghost of the man he knew, or at least thought he knew. Shaking my head and smiling a smile that I fear does not reach my eyes, as I answer weakly, voice faltering, "No, Edward. I'm fine. I'm just…"
"Stop…" he interrupts. "Just cut the bullshit, Jasper. This is me, for fuck's sake! I know you're not fine! I can see you're not fine!" Dumbfounded from his sudden outburst, mouth now gaping, words evade me once more.
Edward sighs as he slumps on the other end of the couch. Head in hands and elbows on knees, he takes deep breaths, visibly trying to regain control. Moments later he begins again, much calmer now. Quietly. Still not looking at me. "I'm so sorry. I'm just so fucking sorry, Jas! Sorry for reacting the way I did… sorry for leaving without a word… sorry I did this to you…" he says, gesturing to me and my current state, eyes still cast downward.
Is he apologizing to me?
"Wait… are you apologizing to me?" I question in confusion, shaking my head and laughing bitterly. "You don't have anything to be sorry for! Nothing! I'm the one who should be apologizing. I am… apologizing. This is me apologizing… I'm so sorry for ruining everything! I'm sorry for making you feel as if you had to leave… move away from your home…" I swallow in an attempt to temper the pain rising in my chest. "From me."
"You did not make me leave! You knew I was considering taking that position."
"But you wouldn't have taken it if it weren't for me! You wouldn't have... if we hadn't… if I hadn't…"
"None of that matters now," he continues, finally looking up, his eyes brimming with raw emotion. "I'm moving back. The hospital offered me my old position, and I've already accepted. I'm moving back, and I won't be leaving again."
He's moving back? I attempt to hide my excitement at this latest information. "University Medical couldn't live without the brilliant Dr. Cullen, huh?" I quip, trying to lighten the heavy direction this conversation has taken.
He shakes his head, having none of that. "No, Jasper. I couldn't live without you."
"What?" He couldn't live without my friendship is what he has to mean…
"I just had to get away… I needed some distance… after you kissed me…"
I interrupt, desperate to move past my incredible, horrifying mistake. Forget… "Just forget the kiss, Edward, please. Can you please just forget?"
"I don't want to forget!" he yells, seething. "I cannot forget! I will not forget!"
What the hell does that mean? My head is reeling with the possibilities. My heart is pounding, and I'm taking deep, rapid breaths, as my body shakes. I'm fucking shaking! I need to get myself under control!
But could he mean…?
My hopes and fears are heightened as Edward hesitantly inches closer to me on the couch, never losing eye contact, until he is right beside me. I can not tear my eyes from his warm, green gaze. His closer proximity both calms and excites me as his sweet scent and soothing heat surround me. He speaks again, so close… I feel his honey breath fan my heated face. And I'm lost. Just as lost in him as ever.
"I can see I'm upsetting you, but just please hear me out," he pleads. "I know I haven't been here for you lately, maybe ever… I don't fucking know. But I'm here now. I just had to get away… to accept the new… feelings. To process everything. To say goodbye to who I thought I was and to the life that I thought I wanted."
"What are you saying?" My voice is barely a whisper. Do I dare hope…?
"I always supported you. You know that. I just never knew you felt that way for me, but then it all made sense... and I sure as hell didn't know I might feel that way for you. But then you kissed me… that damned amazing kiss that turned everything upside down. I haven't been able to think of anything else, Jas. Nothing but you." His hand gently finds my thigh, fingers curving around. I suck in a sharp breath at the intimate contact, amazing burn shooting through me – reaching out through every nerve to finally concentrate in my groin.
"I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry for keeping you waiting. I'm ready now. Please show me Jasper… please show me how it can be."
Fuck me! This is happening! This is actually fucking happening!
He takes a deep breath and then continues in a husky voice, eyes pleading and hand lightly squeezing. "Kiss me again. I promise I won't run this time."
My boy will not have to ask again. All the barriers I've spent years constructing crumble. All the bottled emotions and subdued urges break through. I grasp the front of his shirt and pull him to me – hold him to me as my lips find his. And fuck if the entire world doesn't explode around us as our mouths caress each other's. So good… but it isn't enough, won't ever be enough. So my tongue caresses his bottom lip, asking permission to slip inside his moist mouth. He moans sweetly as his lips part to grant me access. And then I'm home, drowning in one of the many places on my boy that I've always longed to be. Drowning in the full extent of his all-encompassing heat, his intoxicating scent, which I've only barely experienced before now.
Our kiss becomes frantic as we try to drink each other in. Before I know what has happened, before I have time to question if I'm moving too fast, I'm lying on top of his firm body. My legs between his, my mouth fucking his, I begin-dry humping him like a teenager. My mouth is mumbling between kisses, and fuck if I can shut myself up.
"Fuck, baby, wanted this for so long…" I suck on his bottom lip. "Can't believe you're here… ungff… you feel so fucking good…" I delve my tongue against his, eliciting moans from deep within his chest. "God, yes… so good… taste you…" I suck his tongue between my lips.
He answers my rantings with groans, guttural moans and throaty whispers. Begging me for more in his own primal language.
"Do you see what you do to me?" I lightly bite his bottom lip before licking my tongue along it. "…feel what you do to me?" I roughly thrust my hard-on against his through our jeans. "How fucking hard you make my cock, baby? For you… only you…" I nibble along his barely scruffy jaw. He nods as he writhes below me.
"And you're just as hard for me, aren't you?" My tongue finds his earlobe, licking then sucking.
"Yes…" he whines, thrusting up against me, showing me.
"I make your dick hard…" I moan, catching his earlobe between my teeth.
"Fuck yes, Jasper… so hard." His admission causes me to tremble as I lick my way back to his mouth.
But now I must force myself to slow down, to briefly pull away and look into his eyes. I need to be sure that he truly wants this. I need to give my throbbing cock a break so that I don't fucking shoot my load in my pants…
He moans in protest, begging, "More, Jas, please… show me more… I need to see… I want to feel…"
Any chance of turning back is forgotten as we are again lost in deep, desperate kisses. I pull his shirt over his head and then hastily remove my own, lying back down on my gorgeous boy, chest to chest. His naked skin feels so hot, so soft, so incredible against mine. I tell him just that. "Fuck… skin so hot… feels incredible… against me… under me…" Kissing down his jaw to behind his ear, his breathy moans invite me to keep going, to not stop, to never stop.
Eventually I force myself to pull away from his embrace so that I can stand beside him. Slowly, I unbutton my fly, exposing my bare, seeping cock to his beseeching gaze. A ragged gasp escapes his trembling lips at his first sight of me like this… for him. "Just for you, Edward. You make me like this… dick so hard it hurts, baby…"
Jeans slip over my ass and down my legs to the floor, where I swiftly kick them away. His eyes burn my flesh as he takes in my now completely naked form. No hesitation, just desire that echoes my own. Slightly blushing, he studies every inch of me while I stand temporarily paralyzed by the intensity of this moment. Our moment.
Then he is shimmying out of his jeans and I am still unable to move, rooted beside his now-exposed body. I am dazed by the most beautiful sight I have ever seen… my naked boy… naked for me. "Fucking beautiful," slips from my lips as my eyes travel, taking in every inch of him. My gaze is finally drawn to his glorious erection, so perfect. Long and thick… glistening. "So fucking perfect, baby… even better than I could've imagined." I breathlessly chuckle, "and believe me, I have." His blush deepens at my words, but his eyes are drawn back to my cock, standing proud between us.
I unconsciously begin stroking myself as he watches my hand move up and down my shaft, both of us breathing heavily, practically gasping. The intensity of his stare causes my head to fall back as I moan, "Fuck Edward… want you…" But I quickly reclaim his gaze, as I palm myself, rubbing my thumb over my weeping head. "How many times I've touched myself just like this, thinking of you just like that, lying naked before me."
My moans momentarily catch in my throat as he begins reaching toward me, fingers tentatively inching. I halt my movements, letting my hand fall to my side and holding my breath in anticipation of his hand on my aching cock… finally. My body visibly convulses as his fingers feather over my shaft, learning me before grasping me firmly. I almost come undone right then and there. So good it feels to be in his fist's embrace. "So good, baby… that's it… uugghh… stroke my cock…" I place my hand over his, slowly moving us up and down as I begin thrusting into our overlapping fists. "Fuuuccckkk! Can't take it… gonna cum…not yet…" Impending orgasm building in my belly, I swiftly pull our hands away, denying my climax. He nods in understanding, not wanting this sweet build-up to end yet, either.
Our hands now clasped, he pulls me home to his embrace; we simultaneously moan as our naked lengths meet. We quickly begin moving and grinding into one another, pre-cum lubricating our united cocks perfectly. Hot, rigid, aching flesh to flesh. Incredible sensations shoot through me at the euphoric feeling of him, at the realization that my Edward is naked beneath me, that his hard length is massaging my own. Our eyes express our desire as I lower my head to reclaim his lips and tongue, slowly and sensually this time.
Gentle versus rough… I gently caress his tongue with my own, but roughly grind against him, eliciting excruciating friction.
With one hand clutching his neck to hold him to me, my other hand reaches down between us, grasping our cocks together, dragging moans and sighs from our gaping mouths. We thrust into my tight fist, frantic for friction, in need of release… a release that I hope to continue to stave off for as long as possible… having not waited all these years for this to yet end.
"Do you like my cock fucking yours, Edward?" I pant between thrusts.
"Fuck! Yes! So! Good!" he practically screams, bucking into my hand.
But again I still my frenzied movements, burying my head against his neck and grasping my hands beneath his arms and up around his shoulders. I hold him to me, below me as I try to catch my breath...
He passionately protests, thrusting his weeping, engorged cock against my stomach. "Jas, fuck… no... don't want to… can't stop, love... please!"
"Shhhhh," I try to soothe him as I lift up to pepper his face with kisses. "It's okay, baby…" I look into his eyes, trying to make him understand. "I'm not stopping… just slowing down. I need to take care of you."
He trembles, staring up at me, considering my words. Finally, he nods before lifting his head to gently touch his lips and tongue to mine. We lie for long moments, tasting every secret depth of each other's mouths; our cocks are caught motionless and throbbing between us, our release temporarily abated.
Once I feel we've finally regained control, I slowly travel down his body, gently caressing his skin. I lay open mouth kisses along the way, concentrating first on his pebbled nipples, then on the oh-so-sexy trail of hair that leads me from his navel to his engorged cock. Finally settling between his legs, I am amazed at his raw masculine beauty and heady male scent. Briefly, I look up to find his endearing gaze on me, worshipping me. He raises a hand to caress my face, to tuck stray strands of my unruly curls behind my ear.
"I need to taste you… suck your cock, baby." I whisper.
"Please…" is his reply as his cock twitches against his soft auburn curls. I can no longer delay. I lower my mouth to him, licking his glistening tip, moaning at the pure male taste of him. Opening for him, I take his entire length into my mouth… my throat… in one firm movement. He bucks up from his spot shouting, "Ohhhh, fuuuckkkk…." before moaning uncontrollably, writhing and thrusting as I fuck his cock with my mouth: sucking and licking, up then back down, shallow then deep, over and over. I pull off him long enough to mumble encouraging words, "That's it, baby… fuck my mouth so good…" guiding him with my hands on his hips to thrust deeply down my throat. My eyes lock with his lusty stare. I lick from the bottom of his shaft to his swollen head to firmly swipe my tongue around the ultra-sensitive ridge, finally sucking on the most sensitive spot just below the head. I then take him in fully once more only to still with him buried deep in my throat, swallowing around him.
Suddenly he is pulling me up, his cock slipping from my mouth's hot embrace to slap against his stomach. Begging me again, he's mumbling his needs to me, "Oh… fuck… close, love… too close." He holds me to him, trembling and still pleading, "Please, fuck me." Searching my gaze with his own, he continues, "I need to feel you... inside. Please, love… make love to me?"
I gasp, swallowing the lump that has formed in my throat. "If I fuck you... if we do this… there can be no turning back. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Jasper. That's what I'm asking…"
"You want me to take you? You want me to make you mine…?"
"Fuck, yes… please…"
I nod and then quickly excuse myself to return with the lube and condom. He lies in wait for me, hard and wanting, eyes watching as I leave the room and swiftly return to his side. I lean over him, giving him one last slow and gentle kiss, for I know our coupling will be quite the opposite. I've held my feelings in for far too long; I have no hope of controlling myself once I'm buried inside him.
Kneeling before him on the floor, I pull him to me so that I am between his legs, his back lying flat across the middle seat of the couch, head propped against the back and ass up to the edge. Open to me… so fucking open. I sheath my now painfully engorged erection with the condom as he watches my every move, and then liberally lubricate myself and his entrance. "I need to prepare you for my cock, sweetheart. I'm going to fuck you with my fingers to get you ready. Trust me."
"I trust you, Jasper..." he answers, eyes urging me to continue, sharing with me his desires and fears. Carefully, I prepare him with one finger… then two… finally three as my other hand caresses back and forth between his taut stomach and swollen cock. He writhes before me, calling my name, begging me to begin. The enormity of this moment shakes me to the core. I'm about to make love to my boy… finally get my chance to share with him the depths of my feelings and desires. In this one simple yet so very complex act.
I rub the head of my cock along his length, slowly down across his balls, finally to his awaiting hole. Anticipation runs between us in one last intense stare as I wait for his final consent. "Are you ready for me baby…? It will hurt at first, but I promise I will make you feel good." With lusty, heavy eyes and a slight nod of his head, he implores me to take him. I answer his silent plea by finally pushing into him, cursing at the effort to barely take him inch by excruciating inch as he gasps at my intrusion. Once my length is fully embraced within him, I still so that he may better adjust to my girth and gently wipe away the few stray tears that run down his flushed cheek.
Before I have the chance to question if we should continue, he pulls me to him in a searing kiss while the bottom of his feet meet the back of my thighs, strong legs forcing me even further inside.
"Fuck… oh, Edward… fuck… you're so fucking tight… wanted this… fuck… so long… so right, baby…" My honesty slips into his mouth, verbal filter completely obliterated by the feeling of his tight heat around me, surrounding me, consuming me. Body to body. Heart to heart.
"That's it… take my cock, sweetheart… take it all…" I grunt before my mouth roughly claims his as my body owns his.
We are attached from mouth to groin, moving together, swallowing each other's moans that each thrust elicits from deep within. We make love as we fuck, as I'm finally able to show him what I've wanted for so long. His leaking cock glides between our stomachs, neglected by our hands as mine are gripping his shoulders form beneath. His are grasping each cheek of my ass, both of us pulling me further inside with each deliberate thrust of my hips.
I bury my face in his neck as my impending climax nears, chanting with each plunge, "So. Fucking. Good. So. Fucking. Good," over and over.
"Oh god, Jas… so full… so close… fuck…" Edward growls as he grasps the back of my hair in one hand, ass in the other, trying to draw me in impossibly deeper, grinding his cock against my stomach. He gives himself over to me completely, to this moment, to our moment. Letting me know that I too can get lost in my deepest needs and desires for him.
"I know, baby," I moan into his neck. "I'm close, too… so fucking close… your ass feels amazing… made for my cock… love fucking your tight ass..."
He whimpers as I slow my thrusts and straighten my body, positioning us for the home stretch, as I know I won't last much longer. My release will no longer be denied. I spread him even further, grabbing on to the inside of his knees as I pant, "I'm going to fuck you now… so deep, baby." I begin to continuously thrust into him harder, yet. With the new position, my cock repeatedly slams against his prostate, sending his back arching off the couch, his hands squeezing my hips to him, deliciously bruising me.
"Oh…? What… the…fuck?" he shouts, questioning the new sensation. "Gonna… Cum…!" Without a stroke from either of us, his cock spasms and pulses, shooting hot streams of cum across his stomach and chest. He falls apart before me… for me… by me, writhing and screaming my name, climax engulfing his senses. Seeing him come so undone – feeling his orgasm embrace my thrusting cock – sends me crashing over the edge of my own too-long-denied climax. Throwing my head back, I roar through the most intense orgasm I've yet experienced; every fibre of my being is saturated with the depth and force of my release. Our joined release.
Finally I collapse on top of him, panting and trembling with him as the realization of what he's just given me washes over me, courses through me… reciprocated feelings, my own no longer in vain. For long minutes we lay just like this as gradually our heart rates slow and breathing returns to normal.
He whimpers softly when my now sated cock slips from within his body's embrace, grasping me to him tightly, letting me know that he too feels the shift in our forever changed universe. Kissing his temple, I murmur reassuringly, "Shhhh, sweetheart. Don't fret, for I will make you mine again soon enough…"
"I am always yours," he simply replies, gazing into my eyes. Then, taking my mouth to his, he gently nibbles my bottom lip before softly slipping his tongue inside. I return his sweet kiss as we caress, reaffirming what we've mutually experienced – promises for what now can be.
Eventually I stand, pulling him to me, into my awaiting arms. We make our way to my bedroom where, once we've hurriedly cleaned up, we slip under the covers of my awaiting bed and back into each other's embrace. He holds me to him, snuggled into his chest, legs tangling so that we are touching in as many places as possible.
Taking my hand, he entwines his fingers with mine before asking, "How long, love? How long have you wanted me like this?"
Truth… there is nothing left but the truth. I raise my head to rest my chin on his chest, returning his gaze. With a swallow I answer, "I have wanted you like this… loved you like this since the beginning… since we first met…"
He gasps, pulling me to him tightly, whispering promises into my sweat-dampened hair. "I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. But now that you've shown me, I won't waste another moment without you by my side… I promise you that."
All I can do is nod as a lone tear escapes me, as I am left to wonder at the miracle that is now my Edward. Finally mine…
"On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance.
'Cause with you I'd withstand all of it to hold your hand.
I'd give it all, I'd give for us,
give anything, but I won't give up.
But you know, you know, you know,
I wanted, I wanted you to stay.
'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say,
That I love you, I have love you all along.
And I forgive you, for being away for far too long.
So keep breathing, 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore.
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go."
I sit in my familiar, yet new, spot as I anxiously watch the door for his arrival. Familiar because I feel as if I've lived half my life from here. New because it is no longer a solitary, lonely place full of longing and pain. It has become our corner wobbly-ass table and two less stable chairs; our corner, where we often reunite after a long day apart, sharing a beer and sometimes a greasy dinner before heading home. To make love, heal, adore, fuck… together.
Edward was able to pack up his belongings and get back to me in record time; that was the easy part. Fitting his shit into my loft… our loft… yeah, not so much. Little fucking hoarder. But I love him anyway.
It hasn't all been easy. Compromises had to be made. Obstacles and arguments I'm sure are yet to come. But we'll get through anything as long as we have each other. And we do… as we will.
The breath I didn't realize I was holding rushes out of strained lungs as I finally glimpse the brilliant, unruly locks that can only belong to him. He quickly approaches, unable to hide the mutual relief that he also feels at the sight of me. Strong lips find mine as we embrace before taking our seats to discuss each of our day's events. Soon enough we are joined by friends, always drawn to this corner now that it emanates happiness and love.
As I'm laughing at Seth and Emmett's latest antics, I feel my boy's hand squeeze my jeans-clad thigh under the table. Immediately aching, I shiver as his feather-light touch slowly moves up and in to barely graze the head of my already rigid cock. It has been since morning that I've felt his body writhing, straining beneath me, around me. I will not wait much longer... I cannot wait much longer. His warm breath washes over me as he pulls me to him, whispering with a wink, "Tonight your ass is mine, love. Quite literally…"
"Fuuccckkk…" I moan, swallowing hard as all coherent thought dissipates. Lost in his darkening gaze, I tremble at his promise. He smirks when I immediately raise my hand, calling to our passing waitress, "Check, please!"
Next up we'll get a peek into Edward's head during his seven months far away, as he comes to terms with his reaction to the kiss and his resulting changing feelings for Jasper. Then we'll see how the boys' new relationship develops for a bit. They have a lot of time to make up for. Edward just may have a dirty mouth of his own.
I'm in need of a beta for the rest of this story. If anyone is available and interested, please let me know. I'd be forever in your debt. :-) Please review and let me know what you think.