Title: Last Resort

Fandom: Glee

Pairings: Santana/her dad in the daughter/father way, Lauren/Puck, Tina/Mike, little bit Blaine/Kurt

Rating: T (Self Mutilation and Attempted Suicide)

Spoilers: Anything before season three is fair game.

Summary: The room looked like an F5 tornado dropped down in just that one spot. The mattress was half way on the box spring, the covers and sheets and pillows were scattered around the room. The mirror on the vanity that Santana loved was shattered.

Author's Note: I feel super lame because it's been so long since I updated, but I was (I'm not gunna lie) intimidated by this story and how much of you liked it. I couldn't find a way to work in the group telling Artie and Mr. Shue about Santana in this chapter because I think it would have looked weird and out of place, so if you'd like a separate one-shot of that, lemme know.

I also know nothing about hospital suicide thingys in Ohio, I'm going to look them up later, so sorry for not being as accurate as I want it (and I'm trying to be, look up the dates, they really are the real days of the week, even back in the past dates I'm throwing down)

gravy: I see your point with the Faberry, okay, thank you! And sorry for taking so long with the updating!

polarpi: *Blushes* There's that haunting thing again, it makes my insides flutter. I'm going to do my best to make the Glee club understand, let me know what you think of this format.! Thank you! :)

Disclaimer: I won't own it ever, I wouldn't want to, way too much pressure, also don't own Breaking Benjamin's Anthem of the Angels.

Last Resort

June 17, 2002

Eight year old Santana walked alone into the hospital, shaking the rain drops that frizzed up her hair. Slowly, she made her way to an elevator and pressed the Three button to go to the floor that held her twin brother. Making her way from the silver contraption, she let her finger tips graze the white halls of the hallway. It was a long walk that she made every morning, every afternoon, every evening, but she didn't mind.

Santana let out a deep breath, allowing it to whistle past her teeth and out the missing slot in her row of white bones. She had a bad feeling about today's visit, goose bumps rose on her forearms, the hair on her neck stood, she couldn't shake the feeling of darkness loaming over her.

Before she could think more on it, three fourteen came into view. Her brother's room. No one was in the spacious hospital room, no one, but her brother. She let out another breath, shakier than the last, and something rumbled in her chest, a feeling of foreboding Her brother was alone, stuck in a white cell by himself to never get out again. He would be alone and she couldn't get to him.

Pushing down the tears that suddenly wet her eyes, she stepped into the room and stood at her brother's side. He was cut and black and purple. He had bandages all around his head and body and a tube in his mouth to help him breathe. A hiss sounded in her ears, reminding her that Santiago was not really breathing, some machine was for him.

Taking his hand, careful of the IV, she checked around her. Once she was sure no one was near, she began to hum, and when she felt it was right, she began to sing.

White walls surround us
No light will touch your face again
Rain taps the window
As we sleep among the dead

Her other hand gently cupped his face, her thumb rubbing one of his eyebrows. She knew he wasn't going to be alright. Her Mama and Papa didn't think she could hear them (or maybe they didn't care), but she did and what she heard was bad. Permanent brain damage, spinal damage, injuries to the liver, intestines, left eye, and completely shattered right foot. She didn't know what all of them meant, but she knew some of them and the ones she did know where bad. Awful.

He wasn't going to be alive for their next birthday, the one where he wanted to do Super Heroes and only convinced her by telling her she could Harley Quinn or Poison Ivy. She didn't want to have a party, not without Santiago. He wasn't going go into the fourth grade and be a troublemaker. He wasn't going to ever get a job. He wouldn't be a daddy. He wouldn't ever, ever have someone who loved him more than his twin sister. Never.

She couldn't blink away the tears now.

She glanced at the window. It was raining, not hard, but not soft either. It wasn't raining like this a week ago when Santiago was hit by the car. Maybe if it was, they wouldn't have gone to the park. Santana shook her head, they probably would have, Santiago loved this kind of weather, he would have wanted to go in shorts and a tank top and convinced Santana to do the same. She would have.

Looking out the door, she saw more people, lots like her brother; bandaged and unrecognizable to the human eye. An old man was across the way and an old woman was next to him. She held his hand like Santana held Santiago's. Santana could tell she was the old man's sister. Twin sister. Call it her twin-epathy peaking. The old woman looked over and caught Santana's eyes. Her brother was dying too. Santana nodded and the woman nodded back. Both looked away from each other.

Days go on forever
But I have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will I

She felt as though she had been here longer than a week. It felt like every school year she had ever done in her whole life wrapped up into one. But she wouldn't leave her brother's side. Not if she could help it anyway. He would have stayed by her bedside; he did once when she had to get her tonsils out. He sat in bed with her and they colored together.

He can't color and she wasn't allowed in his bed. She tried and they yelled at her for fifteen minutes before her mother spanked her and kicked her out of the hospital room. After that, she took to holding his hand and singing to him, it was the only thing they use to do together that no one ever understood. They could come up with amazing songs off the tip of their tongues. Santiago sang to her, she could sing back to him.

She swore to him when no adults were around that if he died, she would find a way to be with him. They could be together forever, all she asked was for him to wait for her. She knew of a darkness when you died, Abuelo had a near death experience and told them how it was dark with a speck of bright whiteness at the end of it. Santana and Santiago were afraid of the dark and she wouldn't let him go by him self.

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye

This body that was her brother's, it was just that, a body. His being wasn't in it anymore, she felt him around sometimes, but when she told her Tia that, her Tia smiled at her sadly and told her he was always in their hearts. That's not what she meant, but she didn't believe her, or didn't want to, she was crying after Santana told her. She easily turned over her brother's hand and tickled the inside of his palm with her finger tips. He didn't move, not like he did a few days ago.

Flipping his hand so it was palm down again, she kissed his needle stuffed vein. She was telling him it was okay that he left his body, as long as he didn't leave all together. She wanted him to be comfortable and could bet that his body wasn't like their bunk beds at home. Santana squeezed his and held on again.

Cold light above us
Hope fills the heart
And fades away
Skin white as winter
As the sky returns to grey

Santana reached over and pulled up Santiago's blanket. It was cold in the hospital, yet somehow the lights made it worse. They made Santana feel like she was in a freezer, like the one at her Mom's brother's house that she and Santiago liked to walk into and make puffs of air that they could see.

She knew her family had hope for her brother, if not because they truly thought he'd get better, then because they didn't want to believe he was going to go so soon. But Santana slowly saw the hope fade from her family member's hearts. It was like having a balloon that you loved so much and kept close, but woke up the next morning finding it drooping farther to the floor and shrinking in size.

Her family member's hope was a balloon shrinking in on its self and nothing she could do would stop that.

Rubbing her brother's arm, she hoped to bring some color back into it. He was so pale. Paler than their Uncle's new girlfriend Rebecca. She wanted him to look like his normal self when he left his body, so he didn't make jokes or get scared, but nothing she did helped, so she soon gave up.

Days go on forever
But I have not left your side
We can chase the dark together
If you go then so will I

She sang the same line again because she felt it had some meaning, and it did. She would be with her brother forever, never would she let him be by himself, she was his protector, or was. And if she couldn't protect him in life, then in death was the only option. If he goes, then so will she.

She looked up at the old twins again and saw the woman standing at her door way, listening to Santana's words to her little brother. The woman nodded, asking for her to continue and Santana nodded back, telling her she would. Her dark gaze fell on her brother's small form again.

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
Then say the last goodbye

She couldn't. She tried to save her brother, but nothing she did worked and once she found this wound too deep for her to fix for her brother, she started to let him go. She needed him, and she knew he needed her too, but she wanted him to be pain free and happy, and if she could let him do that, then she would.

She put her free hand on his visible eyelid and covered it with the palm of her hand, her own sort of goodbye to her best friend.

Your're dead alive
Your're dead alive
Your're dead alive
Your're dead alive

He wasn't there, making him dead, but his heart was still beating, and from what she heard doctors say, he was still alive. It was confusing to her, but she made the term, dead-alive to describe the state of her baby brother. It was all she could do. A sniffling from the doorway made her look away from Santiago, the old woman was crying. She waved her hand in apology, Santana accepted it.

There is nothing left of you
I can see it in your eyes
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye
I keep holding onto you
But I can't bring you back to life
Sing the anthem of the angels
And say the last goodbye

Kissing her brother's hand on last time, the little girl let go of her twin. As soon as the connection of their hands was lost, his monitors beeped loudly and rapidly. It was a few seconds before people rushed into the room and tried to save her dead brother, but Santana watched. She knew he was gone.

"Goodbye Little Brother. Wait for me Santiago." She whispered into his ear once she pushed the doctor and two nurses out of the way. She kissed his bruised cheek and left the room to go into the hallway to have the old woman wrap her in a hug, something, she realized, no one has done since her brother was hit by a car.

February 28, 2011

Puck moved away from the microphone and dropped to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as he pounded the stage floor in the auditorium. Rachel hiccupped from sobbing so hard during the second performance of her club mate's music. Quinn rubbed Rachel's arm with one hand and Brittany's back with the other as the tall blond tried to fold in on herself. Mario sat next to Mr. Shue, both men with wet faces and the only sound in the spacious room was Puck's fist hitting the floor and cries from the members.

"It was…" Mario breathed out, before stopping because air caught in his throat. "It was about Santiago. She visited him, 'round clock when he was in the hospital and was there when he died." He told them.

"Thank you for performing that Puck." Mr. Shue said, standing to stop the boy from hurting himself.

"She knew he was going to die." Mercedes whispered, but it was heard throughout the echo-y space.

"She knew and still stayed with him." Sam murmured. The group closed their eyes. "She was so young and she was…She stayed when she knew he was going to die." He emphasized. Sam looked down into his lap so his blonde hair covered his blue eyes. "I don't know if I could have done that at that age."

"I would have." Puck said, getting to his feet. "If my little sister was in the hospital, dying, I would do everything in my power to be with her until she died. No one deserves to die alone." He finished. "I have to…go, I can't be in this school right now." He jumped from the stage. The Glee kids stood and followed him, with Mike and Finn carrying Artie up the steps.

"Let's go to the park, the one by the candy store?" Brittany said, while they walked out. "San loved it there and we could get some candy from when she can see us again." Her voice faded as the group walked out, leaving the two men and the band, who were sworn to secrecy on Santana.

"I better get going, back to the hospital you know." The Latino told the curly haired teacher.

"Wait, Mr. Lopez-"

"Mario."

"Mario, how is Santana?" The worn out man sighed and shook his head.

"She's still in and out of it. She won't talk, but she tried to bite the nurse when she came in to feed Santana, so they had to sedate her a little more. One of her wounds is infected too, so they have her on anti-everything. She's running a low grade fever, but those are dangerous because they spike at any given time."

"I'm sorry." The teacher said sincerely.

"I know. Look, I really need to get back, I'm sor-"

"No, no, don't be, I understand, go."

TBC…