I M u s t C o n f e s s
relationship between friends: a relationship between two or more people who are friends
mutually friendly feelings: the mutual feelings of trust and affection and the behaviour that typify relationships between friends
Sakura gripped her glass in her hand lightly, a observant frown etched into her usually pretty features as she stared warily at her long time friend Naruto, the obnoxious in both visual and physical aspects shot down little glasses of liquor; one after another without trepidation.
The loud booming bass laced music varied vibrations through her heel clad feet, surrounded by their mutual friends, Sakura felt like she was in a crowd of strangers that she merely spoke to everyday. Anger weld in her chest as she watched them shout Naruto another round of shoots, they fed him what he wanted not what he needed; god what he needed was something similar to an intervention nobody wanted to give.
Another mouthful of bitter liquid, another two shots for Naruto; the beautiful blonde swayed where he stood a gallant smile stretched across his marked cheeks. Sakura handed her empty glass back to the waitress who walked past her, she had enough of that vile drink; her disappointment showed when Naruto laughed loudly at something the people surrounding him said.
She wasn't blind or stupid, once naïve but no longer so, Sakura was aware that everything Naruto was doing was fake, forced and a perfect cover up for his own disappointment. Sakura almost laughed at him, she too held disappointment for herself as well as one of her best friends; she stood by and watched this addiction to alcohol swallow him whole, that addiction seemed less dangerous than the reason for drinking and who was she to deny him his only solace?
It happened to be the blonde boy's 21st birthday, surrounded by friends and enjoying his new found freedom of drinking legally not that is drinking was anything new infact it was just another reason for him to drink more casually opposed to sneaking around when nobody was looking.
There was something wrong with that being practically everyday.
somebody dependent on drug: somebody who is physiologically or psychologically dependent on a potentially harmful drug
Naruto was not the buffoon people believed, he never had done anything without a reason; whether that was apparent before or after the act was committed Sakura was unclear. Every so often the blue eyed blonde would stare around absently searching the crowds only to be brought back to another round of drinks and fake intoxicated smiles, Sakura hadn't failed to notice that either.
She too occasionally scanned the nearing crowds of hot sweaty, drunk people; her reason for staring around was much the same as his. A particular cold hearted raven haired man had failed to make an appearance, not that it was expected for him to but this was a different occasion; he had made a solemn promise to his blonde and also the pink headed friends whom no longer harboured a crush for him.
Sasuke had always been a prick, a selfish, egotistical and arrogant man who for some unfathomable reason was friend to her and lover to Naruto; although Naruto's own hand was more of a lover than that cold hearted lump of pale skin and dark hair.
Sighing heavily Sakura, reached for her phone tucked neatly into the junction between her bra and flesh. Pressing a button the screen jolted to life only for her face to frown deeper, no missed calls or text messages; Sasuke had even bothered to reply to her.
be not good enough: to be less good, attractive, or satisfactory than was hoped or expected
fail somebody: to let somebody down by not doing something or by not happening as hoped or expected
Another loud forced laugh bounced in her head as she squinted up at the blonde sloshing the liquid down his throat, more disappointment rose in her when he caught her eyes. A look of apology crossed his tanned features before he faced away from his pink haired friend, he was aware of her disappointment in him and hadn't failed to notice her constant checking of crowds and her small silver phone.
She too felt the hurt from Sasuke no show.
Naruto hadn't asked much of the raven boy he loved with all his heart, infact he barely even saw the raven much these days; Naruto however couldn't help but feel the love that tugged at his heart whenever the dark haired man indulged in Naruto's requests knowing that he would have done nothing for anyone else except maybe himself.
Attending his birthday party was one of those rare moments of want for Naruto, why couldn't he of at least called or something. Hurt and more disappointment whirled in his chest as he swallowed another shot, the room spun lazily as he excused himself to the bathroom after noting Sakura had left also, her phone pressed to her ear.
Sakura pushed open the door to the female bathroom a little grateful for the emptiness of it as she listened to the dial tone. Leaning her petite self against the granite bench she hadn't looked in the mirror at her reflection, it hardly matter anyway she was in no mood for this business anyway.
The call rung out to nothing as Sakura redialled, frustration and anger surfacing again as she stabbed the keypad. A squeak of hinges indicated the entry of someone to the small bathroom, expecting a falling down drunk female to enter Sakura blinked at the slightly swaying blonde man before her.
Clearly not moved by the fact that he was in the female toilets.
looking after own desires: concerned with your own interests, needs, and wishes while ignoring those of others
demonstrating selfishness: showing that personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people
Naruto looked sad as he stood before her, leaning forward to press his sweaty forehead against her shoulder she sighed while rubbing his back and listening to the dial tone once more. Naruto felt like dead weight against her as he supported more so than leant on her, a sharp voice broke her Naruto musings as she straightened up with the taller blonde cling to her waist.
"What, stop fucking calling it's pissing me off!" Sasuke's hard annoyed voice snapped down the line; Naruto must have heard it because he tilted his head to the junction of her neck and shoulder.
"Where are you? You were supposed to be here Sasuke" Sakura spoke softly, hoping her soft disappointment laced voice rubbed him.
"Hn,I didn't feel like it." Sasuke spoke with such low regard that it made Sakura livid, Naruto tensed considerably and the grip he held around Sakura's waist tightened tenfold.
Anger swirled viciously in her gut as her faced turned a shade of purple, how dare he!
"Sasuke you are a selfish low bastard, its Naruto's birthday, you know the one you promised to attend? And you're holding up in your apartment like a cold bastard." Sakura's voice strained considerably as she rubbed Naruto's back who had become like a board, stiff and tense.
"The dobe should know better than to expect things like sentimental friendships from me, he's a fuck Sakura that's the only thing we have. No if you'll excuse me-"I He started with the excuses but Sakura's firm and cutting voice stilled his, her cutting ice twice as hard as his had been.
"How you do you live with yourself? You have such a shallow and selfish personality. Pushing people away, your friends and lover of all things, Naruto was the only person you had Sasuke! I hope you live happy with just you and yourself because that's the only person who will ever want your bullshit." Sakura spoke with deadly barely suppressed calm anger, pressing the end button with force that she was sure she may have cracked it.
Naruto had started to shake against her as she shoved the phone to the bench, it had begun ringing simultaneously and Sasuke name appeared no doubt looking to rage at her for her speech; consumed with spiteful anger she flung it towards the other side of the room where it shattered against the stainless steel facilities.
"Sakura" Naruto gurgled with strain as his fingers gripped her red shirt in his clasp, drawing him in closer she held him close mumbling what felt like cheesy lines of 'he didn't deserve you anyway' and 'there's more fish in the sea' into his ears.
Naruto knew pain, he'd lived with it every day since birth it was no surprise to Sakura when he barely shed a tear, although relived she didn't have to deal with an emotional Naruto who she feared would be slightly more Ino dramatics inclined, felt foolish to think that he was one to be weak.
No Naruto may have been many things but weak wasn't one of them, she lost count the amount of times he'd faced hurt, humiliation and painful times and come out still smiling. "I love him Sakura" He breathed hot shaky breathes down her neck, shock and pain filled her aching heart.
Whatever assumptions had been made that Sasuke was merely a fuck to Naruto, no more than friends with benefits flew out the window with Sakura's developed sense of calm. She wanted nothing more than to stomp over to his lavish apartment, bang down the door and smack him around for his crap.
"Come on I'll take you home" Sakura breathed in his ear, pushing him away slightly to grip his shaking hand.
Pushing his sweaty bangs from his forehead she flinched at the shallow hurt burning in is usually lively eyes.
Maybe they're dulled from the alcohol; she tried to reason with herself to no avail.
Sasuke was the reason his eyes were dead, a weak smile made its way to her face before she tugged him towards the female toilets door. The loud, feet vibrating noise erupted in her body once again as she held tight to Naruto's hand, pulling him through the crowd and back to their mutually intoxicated friends.
With brief goodbyes and claiming her purse, they headed for an exit and a cab which was conveniently parked outside the club waiting for any business to arrive. Slipping into the back seat with the still uneasily quiet best friend she instructed the drive to her house, Sakura had considered dropping the blonde off at his apartment but knew better, he would head straight for the cabinet of liquor and drowned himself in it.
Sakura couldn't fathom the image of yet another night of hammered mess caused by the destructive emotional withdrawn Naruto. The streets whizzed by with no more than a blur as silence over took the cab for the short distance between her home and the club they had attended, paying the fee she pushed the diluted birthday boy out the door.
Se cursed Sasuke for ruining Naruto's birthday with his selfish behaviour; how hard was it to give up your impassive, selfish needs for one night to indulge another? Impossible apparently, she sighed vacantly.
Unlocking the door to her small but cosy apartment Sakura turned to the blonde removing his shoes, his hair obscuring those dull eyes from her view.
"I'll find you a pillow and blanket for the couch" She murmured, heading for the hallway closet that held the necessary bedding.
Shuffling into the living room he sat on the couch his rough blonde head in his hands, she felt saddened for him but didn't dare act with the pity she felt, he wouldn't want that. Stepping closer she placed the pillow and blanket beside him.
"It'll be alright Naruto, goodnight" She spoke kissing the top of his head before she left for her own room, thoughts of the sad blonde boy in her living room occupying her thoughts as she moved on instinct to prepare for bed.
Barely an hour had passed since she had left him sitting on the couch before her bedroom door opened with a soft squeak, she hadn't feared he would come but still she moved further over in her double bed making room for the tanned body to slip in.
He wasn't here for what most people would assume when a male climbed into a females bed at this hour of the morning but simply for the comfort. His arms curled around her thin waist as he rested his messy blonde locks against her collarbone, he breathed a shake breath as she twiddled his fine blonde hair in her fingers; soothing him in what she hoped was a peacefully manner.
Cool damp tears wet her night shirt as he shook against her, not daring to breath a word she left him release his sadness because no matter how brave or tough we thought we were, even the brave had to be weak sometime and Naruto was no exception.
1. having or showing courage: having or showing courage, especially when facing danger, difficulty, or pain
I have no idea why I felt like I needed to write this, it was just one of those spur of the moment things that I felt need to be said. I kind of liked it being mostly from Sakura's perspective, I dislike her in heterosexual pairings but when she's being cool and not whinging and bitching from here to Alaska I actually like her.