I just can't stop my obsession for these two awesome people. This is meant to be a one-shot, but it has potential to be continued, so let me know what you guys think! Reviews make me very happy ;)
I was on a roll after that little stunt Jessica and I pulled on Louis with the American Ballet Theatre tickets (if he thinks I didn't hear him say," Oh, that phony bitch," after I left his office, he is sorely mistaken), so I decided to go check up on Rachel. The pretty paralegal was just where I thought she'd be, sitting in the associate's kitchen. She was completely still, staring at her phone.
I breezed into the kitchen like it was no big deal. Rachel looked up when I entered with a mix of confusion and happiness on her face.
"What are you doing here? You have access to the partner kitchen."
"I like to keep my finger on the pulse," I said casually. "Plus, they don't have Cheetos."
I could tell Rachel had something on her mind so I cut to the chase. "Actually, I don't care about the pulse."
Rachel sat in silence.
"Okay, either I'm crazy, or something's bothering you, so…. What's bothering you?," I asked, changing my tone from chatty to soothing. Rachel just stared at the table, slowly shaking her dark hair.
"Mike Ross." I wasn't exactly taking a wild stab in the dark, it was pretty obvious.
She looked up, her eyes wide. "Wha- how did you know?"
"I'm Donna, I know," I said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, Donna, what am I going to do?," she asked, laughing at herself. The poor girl seemed very much in need of a friend, and that's exactly what I was there for. She also appeared to be in serious need of alcohol.
"There is only one thing to do."
I made a noise like they do on game shows when someone says the wrong answer.
"Well….," I joked. Rachel groaned and let rubbed her temples.
"You need a drink," I decided. She nodded and held up two fingers.
She held up yet another finger and I laughed. "We should barf."
She giggled and smiled at me. I smiled back warmly, then walked over to her at the table and grabbed her hand, pulling her up.
"C'mon, I know where Harvey keeps the good stuff."
It was late, and I knew Harvey and Mike were out running their little "Mississippi Burning" scheme, so I took Rachel into Harvey's office and poured us each a glass of Harvey's favorite scotch. Rachel marveled at all the cool trinkets Harvey had, like his row of signed basketballs. It was kind of fun to watch. Like a kid going into that huge FAO Schwartz in Manhattan for the first time.
"Where does he get all this stuff?"
"Clients. Remember that big Trump scandal you heard about last year?"
"Exactly." I took a sip of scotch. Damn, that tasted good. I had to hand it to Harvey, the man had exceptionally good taste.
Rachel set her glass down on the edge of Harvey's desk and pointed to one of the signed basketballs. She raised an eyebrow.
I shook my head. "Not that one. He'll know, and I'll never hear the end of it."
She pointed to another and I shook my head again.
"No, it's Bird."
"But he's from Boston!"
I shrugged. "White man's hero."
She pointed to a third and I nodded.
"It's Kobe, he won't care."
She picked it up and bounced it enthusiastically. I watched with a grin and took a few more sips of my scotch. One of Harvey's old jazz records played in the background, adding to the mellow mood.
"You really know him."
"I really do." It was the truth. I knew that man better than almost anyone in his life. Probably better than Jessica.
Suddenly, her face changed to an expression of mischievousness and she walked a few steps over to me at the desk. She raised an eyebrow slightly and I shook my head, leaning forward.
"No." I was surprised Rachel would even allude to what she was alluding to.
I shook my head insistently. "No."
She smiled knowingly. "Why not?"
I went from amused and a bit tipsy to serious in less than 5 seconds. I stared at the bookshelf of records, not wanting to make direct eye contact with the bright paralegal. She would see right through me.
"Because you can never go back."
The office went silent and I knew who each of us was thinking about. I needed some air, so I got up and said," I have to pee," leaving Rachel with her thoughts and heading down the hallway.
I did need to pee, but I also needed some time to myself to think. I had told Rachel that once I went there with Harvey, I could never go back, which was true. But what if I didn't want to go back? What if I wanted to go there and then go forward? My biggest fear was that Harvey might not feel the same way.
When I came back from the bathroom, I saw Rachel hanging up her phone.
"Mike Ross?," I asked, settling back into Harvey's chair and taking another sip of scotch. I tried to convey as such sympathy as possible in my eyes. I didn't want to directly bring up my feelings for Harvey directly, but maybe I could get her to fill the blanks in herself. I needed to talk to someone about it. She blushed.
"I don't know what to do, Donna. I kissed him."
"I had a feeling," I admitted. Rachel shook her head and let out a little laugh of self-pity. I rolled Harvey's desk chair towards her and put my hand on her wrist.
"Rachel, I know he cares about you. You should have seen how obsessed he was with figuring out who blamed you for leaking that list to Wakefield-Cady a few weeks ago. He was like an incessant puppy. 'Donna, what are employee codes?' 'Donna, can you help me play a trick on Louis with the fax machine?'"
Rachel laughed. "Really?"
She smiled, her dark eyes warm. "Thank you, Donna."
I smiled back and squeezed her hand. "Any time."
"So…," she said, taking the last sip of her scotch. "What are you going to do about Harvey?"
I feigned confusion, trying to use my best acting skills but failing miserably. "Why, Rachel, whatever do you mean?"
"C'mon, Donna. You feel something for him. You can stay in denial for as long as you want, but there are feelings there. Pretending they don't exist will just leave a bigger pain in your chest."
I looked at Rachel, shocked. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, then she said, "Donna?"
I looked her straight in the eyes as the realization hit me. "You're right. I have to tell him. If I don't, I lose. But if I do, there's a chance it may work."
Rachel grinned and met my hand in a sloppy high-five. We giggled.
"I am drunk enough for one night," she decided, searching the room for her purse. She located and looked at the time on her phone.
"1 am? I can get a cab at this hour, right?"
I nodded and gathered my things. "I don't see why not."
Rachel yawned and rubbed her temples. "Ugh, I don't even want to think about the almost 40-minute ride to my apartment. I usually just take the subway, but there is no way I'm going down there this late."
I slipped into my coat and smiled at her. "Well, maybe you don't have to."
She looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"My place is just 15 minutes away, you can stay the night if you want. I can lend you some clothes for tomorrow or you can go home in the morning and then come back here."
She smiled at me. "You would do that for me, Donna?"
I elbowed her gently and returned the smile. "Of course."
I think we both knew that was the minute we truly became friends. We left Harvey's office and walked towards the elevators together, laughing about how drunk we were and other silly things. I was just grateful to have a friend. And I think Rachel felt the same way.
The next morning, I woke up in my bra and underwear, the sheets of my bed tangled around me oddly. My black dress from yesterday had been tossed on the ground, and I could see mine and Rachel's coats on the chair next to my closet. I groaned and closed my eyes again, squeezing them shut and rubbing my temples. Last night after Rachel and I had reached my place, we'd had a few more drinks. I remembered dancing to the Mamma Mia soundtrack and drinking at least 2 beers each. God, it had been a while since I actually let loose and got totally wasted. I had to admit it felt pretty good. Last night, anyway. Now all I had was a bitch of a migraine and a hangover that would take a few more hours to go away.
I slowly slid out of bed and grabbed a men's button down shirt from under my bed. It was an old shirt of Harvey's from a long time ago. The first time we got truly drunk together, we ended up passing out on his couch. When we woke up, I was completely embarrassed and my dress had a large splotch of tequila on it. He had gallantly given me a shirt to wear home over my clothes, and smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye. I remembered getting into a cab on the street and seeing Harvey watching me protectively from his apartment window. I knew it was a little silly to keep a shirt for almost twenty years, but I liked it. It had memories in it.
I went out the kitchen to find some Ibuprofen and a glass of water, not bothering to button the shirt. I doubted Rachel would mind. Plus, it wasn't like I was wearing gross underwear. My gray lace bra and matching panties were pretty nice. I had to hold my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing too loudly and waking Rachel. She was fast asleep on my couch, her skirt on the floor next to her. In her soft, pale pink shirt, with her makeup all rubbed off and a blue fleece blanket covering her from her waist down, she looked like just a kid. I smiled to myself. All she needed was a teddy bear.
5 minutes later, I had downed three Ibuprofen and a glass of water and had moved on to making coffee. I heard Rachel shift on the couch, so I went over to her and sat on the floor next to her head, a mug of hot coffee in my hand. She opened one eye and stared at me. I grinned.
She opened her other eye and sat up slowly. I could tell she was confused. She looked around at my apartment.
"What…. Where?," she mumbled. I laughed and held the coffee out to her. She took a large sip as I explained.
"We were both a little drunk, so I took you back here instead of sending down to the Subway at 1 am…. And then we got way drunk, so you slept on the couch."
She smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Donna."
I reached out and squeezed her hand. "No problem. That's what friends are for, right?"
She smiled and nodded a little too enthusiastically. Her eyes screwed shut and she groaned.
I laughed again and handed her the two Ibuprofen I had figured she would need. She thanked me again and swallowed them quickly.
"Ughh. I think I'm going to call in sick today. Can you keep scare Louis away from my little office so he doesn't flip out?"
I bit my lip. "Actually, I don't think I'm going in today."
"Ohhhh." Her eyes lit up. "Harvey?"
I nodded and smiled uneasily. I couldn't admit how scared I was to her, so I just let my fear show in my eyes. She hugged me.
"You're gonna do great."
"Thanks, Rachel," I whispered.
An hour later, Rachel was on her way home in a cab and I was pacing my apartment. I figured the easiest thing to do was to just shower, get dressed, and go over to Harvey's. I couldn't carry this around any more.
I knew Harvey and Mike were waiting for Clifford to be released from jail, so I just sat in front of the door to Harvey's large apartment and waited. I didn't look like my usual self in yoga pants, a pale blue henley, and flip flops, but I didn't want to dress up. I had just wanted to get over here so I didn't miss him. I needed to see him.
About 3 hours later, I saw him coming down the hall. I looked at the slightly chipped black nail polish on my toes, unsure of what to say.
I turned to face him. "Harvey, I…."
He held his hand out to help me up, and before I could finish my sentence, he dragged my face to his and kissed my lips. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled myself as close to his body as I could, deepening the kiss. He tangled his fingers in my hair and I let out a slight moan of pleasure. I had spent all these years thinking this was the wrong thing to do, but it felt so right.
We broke apart and Harvey stared at me. His chocolate brown eyes had a powerful grip on my hazel ones, and he was cupping my face in his hands. He smiled the same smile that he always did when he put on a really good record, or won a case he actually cared about.
"Come in," he whispered, taking my hand in his and unlocking his apartment door. I followed him silently, not sure of what to say. He took off his suit jacket and hung it on a chair in the dining room, motioning for me to make myself comfortable. It was awkwardly quiet. And also just awkward in general. I slipped my flip flops off next to his door and sat down on the couch. The couch I had sat on so many times. He sat down next to me and kissed me again, pulling me down on top of him. We kissed until I felt dizzy, and then I pulled away for second. We were both panting slightly. Harvey grinned.
"I think I might be falling in love with you, Harvey."
"You think?," he laughed, kissing my neck. He hit a sweet spot and I groaned. I dragged his face back to mine and kissed him hard, wrapping my arms around his neck. We sunk into another heated little makeout session, and just a few minutes later he stopped and letting my forehead rest against his.
"Well, that's going to be a problem, because I know I'm falling in love with you."
We both laughed and dove at each other again. My entire body felt warm and tingly. I broke the kiss and sat up in Harvey's lap. He watched me, and I could tell he was a little puzzled. I smiled coyly and took a deep breath. Once I did this, there was absolutely no going back. I waited a few seconds, then threw caution to the wind. I pulled my shirt off over my head, tossing it onto the floor. Harvey reached up and put his hands on my back, pulling me back down to him for another round of passionate kisses. He skillfully unclipped my bra and let it join my shirt on the floor. All or nothing.
I hooked my ankles around Harvey's to flip him over, and my knee brushed against the crotch of his pants. I grinned and he returned the look, sitting up and shifting me into his lap. He brushed a few strands of wavy red hair out of my eyes. Then his eyes turned serious.
"Are you sure? We can't go back."
I nodded. "I don't want to go back." I pressed a kiss to his lips.
He grinned again and stood up, gathering me up in his arms and kissing me, never breaking the kiss as he carried me into his bedroom.
When I opened my eyes it was late afternoon. Next to me in bed, Harvey lay face down, still asleep. The sunlight was streaming into Harvey's bedroom, making the muscles in his back gleam. I kissed his shoulder blade and he rolled over, a sleepy look on his face.
"That's all I get for a wakeup call?"
I grinned and sat up, letting the sheets pool at my hips and flipping my hair over my shoulder. He laughed and looked at me hungrily. He kissed me and I fell back onto the pillows, tangling my fingers in his messy hair. I let him work his way down my neck, sighing. He had just reached my collarbone when his cell phone rang from his bedside table. He groaned and flopped down next to me, but didn't answer. It rang again and he sighed, then picked it up. He saw the caller ID and hit accept.
"Jessica? What's up?"
His eyes widened and he stared at me, frozen. He looked as close to panicked as I'd ever seen him. I leaned forward and squeezed his free hand, then mouthed, 'What happened?'
He gulped and listened to Jessica, then said, "Let me come and explain in person. I'll be there as soon as I can."
He hung up and dropped the phone back onto the nightstand. He stared blankly at his lap.
"Harvey?" I put my fingers under his chin and tilted it up so he was looking at me. His eyes were glazed over. "What's wrong? You're scaring me."
Harvey looked very different than I'd ever seen him, and not in a good way. His face was so pale it was almost white.
"That son of a bitch."
"Who?" I moved closer to Harvey. He looked at me, his eyes full of anger.
"Trevor," he spat out. "He went to Jessica and told her everything. She knows Mike and I lied to her."