Blanket of Fear

AU. This is set, let's say two weeks, after Wash loses Epsilon. There will be a second chapter to this but that depends on whether or not I can coerce my muse to do so. The South featured here is my Burden of Truth South.

Wash/Unrequited CT

"I'm only going to ask nicely once." spat South. "What were you doing in his room?". Her blonde hair was over half of her face but her piercing blue eyes were aimed right at CT. CT had just tried to sneak out of Wash's room wearing the same fatigues as she had been the night before, her hair a mess, her stance akin to someone who had barely slept...and she reeked of him. If anyone should be in CT's position it should be South.

"It's none of your business South. Back off." Connie kept on walking. She wasn't in the mood for this bullshit. She was helping a friend and that was all there was. Let South think what she wanted to think. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder as she was spun around to face the angry blonde.

"Listen to me. Just listen. Wash...David is my friend too." South's face softened. "I care about him and I want to know how he's doing. Since Epsilon...he hasn't been himself. The doctors said that we weren't allowed to visit him and he hasn't let anyone in...except Maine... and you." South dropped her arm from Connie's shoulder. " is he?"

"He's...just about coping." Connie settled for a version of the truth. "He hasn't really spoken to me. I know he's spoken to Maine but then Maine can't really tell anyone what Wash has been saying." She left out the fact that she'd once passed Maine at the door with his eyes misting up. If what Wash was saying was that bad then not even Connie wanted to know. "The doctor comes by once a day to check up on him but Wash is refusing to take any medication."

"That still doesn't explain what you're doing in there." CT raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Maine is there to listen to him, doc's are there for his physical wellbeing...what about you?"

"It's not what it looks like. Yes I know that I just walked out of his room, yes I know that I look a mess, yes I know that I smell of Wash. But it really isn't what it looks like. He's one of my best friends and I'd do anything for him." Connie sighed. She knew how that sounded. "Look, believe me, don't believe me, it makes no difference."

"You're fucking him aren't you?" South's voice sounded hollow and empty to CT's ears. "You fucking bi-"

South was interrupted by CT pressing her against the wall and pressing against her throat with an arm. "Listen to me. Stop running your mouth for once and listen. I am sharing a bed with him. That does not mean that we are having sex. It means that he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night, crying and sweating and that I'm there for him. He needs someone with him, to make him feel safe. Like a security blanket sorta thing."

CT stopped talking for a moment, her deep brown eyes searching South's face. "What's that you're mouthing? Is it working? Two weeks ago he was waking up every half hour and getting about ten minutes sleep each time. Now he's waking up once every four hours and gets about two hours sleep. So if the result is that I lose out on my sleep and don't look that great? So be it. I'm not gonna stop just because of what people think."With that CT released South and turned on her heel.

Later that evening as CT let herself into Wash's room she realised how true what she had said to South was. Wash wasn't as much of a mess as he had been...but he wasn't completely healed. As she slid into the bed next to him he heard him mumble a name. "Sammy." He was thinking of her. He wasn't thinking of Connie, the girl next door, the girl who'd grown up with the biggest crush on him, the girl who had always allowed him to outshine her, the girl who had been with him every painful step of the way.

She knew that in Wash's mindseye her chocolate brown locks were changing to a blonde curtain, her deep brown eyes changing to a glacier blue, her cheeks becoming more defined. Connie knew that her gentle sarcasm and probing questions were being transformed into bluntness and anger. But knowing that whatever she did would not be enough to change his thoughts, she rolled over. She allowed him his fantasy. Anything to shield him from the dark reality.