"It's ok Haruhi, we all already know,"
Renge had dragged Haruhi to the nearby kitchen and forced her into a crouching position behind the island counter. Renge was grasping onto Haruhis shoulders with barely contained excitement. Haruhi thought insanely for a moment that this is what "girl time," must feel like. Haruhi only had a moment to cringe at the memory of what had happened in that kitchen a mere twenty four hours ago before Renge started speaking in a hushed voice.
"You don't have to hide it! We all approve of your forbidden love!"
"Come on, you have to show a little more faith in us, it's a fangirls job to painfully scrutinize every detail about every one of the hosts, and the looks that you and Kyoya are giving each other are a dead giveaway! The situation is obvious: True love because of a few short days together, trapped in the same room-"
"I don't even-"
"And you saw the look on Tamaki's face! He was obviously jealous!" Renge took a moment to squeal before continuing, despite Haruhis stammering.
"I'm a little jealous myself, but it's just so perfect for you, don't you see?"
"Renge, I really-"
"I know right? Now, you have to tell me all of the gritty details, every last one!" Renge suddenly turned serious and waved a finger in Haruhis flustered face.
"I-I'd really rather-"
"Oh so that kind of stuff went on, right? That's ok, I think leaving some things to the imagination are so much more moe, don't you?"
"That's not what I-!" Haruhi stopped mid-sentence, and looked at Renges eager face. "You're uh, not going to interrupt me?" Renge shook her head, her hands clenched beneath her chin.
Haruhi sighed before continuing.
"That's really not what I meant at all," Haruhi smiled and grabbed her neck, "and besides I don't think anything like what you're thinking of is going to come out of all this," Haruhi laughed weakly, but Renges face fell.
"What do you mean? You mean there's nothing going on between you and-?"
"Look, Renge, I appreciate the thought, but I don't know if I want anything like that with Kyoya-senpai right now,"
"But why not?" Renge whined loudly, causing Haruhi to jump and shush her. She hesitated for a moment before resigning herself.
She already knows, no use in denying it now I guess...
"He's very... Look, it's not that I don't like him or anything but-"
I can't believe I'm giving this speech to her now.
"So there's hope!"
Haruhi had to laugh.
"That's exactly what he said,"
Haruhi winced when Renge squealed louder than she ever had before. She didn't bother with trying to shush her at that point.
"So he likes you? I bet it's because you're so pretty, it has to be... And you don't know if you can return his feelings?"
"Something like that I guess..."
"Well, whatever happens, no one is going to blab about this. Whatever you choose to do is perfectly fine. We all accept you no matter what, ok?"
Haruhi stared at Renge for a second. She blinked after reaching a resolve, and threw her arms around her.
"I'm touched, really. Thank you, that means a lot to me,"
Renge looked shocked when Haruhi pulled away. Her face was incredibly red, and coughed into her hand. Haruhi felt a bit embarrassed.
Oh. Right. I'm a guy.
"N-no problem Haruhi-chan. Just trying to be a good manager," She laughed awkwardly as Haruhi stood up, and helped Renge to her feet before turning around to rejoin the club. Renge walked slightly behind Haruhi, and noticed something a bit odd.
"Hey, it's funny, but your time with Kyoya-senpai must be affecting you more than you know,"
"That walk you do now, it's almost...girly. You swing your hips back and forth more," Renge had a hand placed on her chin and her eyes were pointed downwards, but quickly looked up, more red than before if it was even possible.
"N-not that I was looking at your-!"
"Renge! It's fine. You're right, I had no idea. I'm probably just stiff, I haven't moved much in the past few days,"
"Well...ok then..." Renge was very careful to keep her eyes upwards, but couldn't help but notice something else that struck her as off.
"How about that bruise on your neck? He didn't hurt you did he?"
"W-what do you mean?"
"I mean this," Haruhi shivered when Renge touched the back of her neck.
Kyoya had painstakingly rubbed out every single bruise on Haruhis body, she thought he made sure of it. She thought she was sure of it.
While their previous actions, in Haruhis mind, were based purely on their hormonal instincts, they made up for it quietly and gently last night. They were careful not to do any more damage, Kyoya had sworn upon it.
It must be from Friday night... How the hell did we miss that?
"I uh... I must have fallen, or slept on it weird," Haruhi felt her face grow warm, and cursed herself for being such a horrible liar.
"Uh uh, you fell on something perfectly circular, and on a place like this, no less? I'm not buying it," Renge moved Haruhis hair to get a better look. Haruhi wasn't sure what to say.
"Wow, I should have guessed he was the rough type, but I had no idea. Or is it that you're actually into that sort of thing? I can see that, you would play the perfect uke you know?"
Uke? Haruhi thought twice about asking, and shook the question away.
"That's not it at all!" Haruhi moved to the side and turned to face Renge.
"I already said it's alright, and I was the one that asked you for the nitty-gritty right?" Renge laughed. "Besides, can you imagine how everyone else would react if they saw that?"
"I'd really rather not-"
"Alright alright, my lips are sealed," She sighed wistfully. Haruhi thought about denying it more, but merely shook her head, and offered a smile to Renge before returning to the main room.
Kyoyas encounter with Tamaki did not have the air of excitement and lightness that Haruhis conversation with Renge did.
Tamaki brought Kyoya to the darkened changing room to confront him. Kyoya marveled at the bloody couch he had pushed to the darkest corner of the room, but was careful not to let his gaze rest on it for too long.
Tamaki held in his frustration carefully. He didn't want his friend to shut him out, and it would probably be easier if he just told Kyoya that he was doing a good job today, give him a big hug, and stroll back into the crowd of girls. However, his curiosity rivaled the desire to avoid the subject entirely, and he wanted answers.
"Is something wrong, Tamaki?"
"I think I'm the one that should be asking you that,"
The cheer that Kyoya had worn earlier had evaporated, and his face and tone were serious and expressionless. He was leaning back against the wall, looking everywhere but Tamaki.
"I don't quite follow,"
"Kyoya..." Tamaki looked desperate as he searched for words.
"Really now, I don't mean to be cruel but we're losing time here. Time and money, things of the sort, you know the drill,"
"Forget about the club for a moment, ok?" Kyoya didn't respond. "Please look at me," Tamakis voice was light, but the urgency was present.
Kyoya raised his eyes towards Tamaki and nodded. He motioned for him to continue.
"The club is important to me, you know it is, but my friend is more important," Tamaki smiled, "I want to know what's troubling you, because it's troubling me too,"
"I-...Thank you, I guess," Tamaki waited for Kyoya to elaborate, but when he didn't he proceeded carefully.
"So, what's happening? You haven't spoken to me all day, and you're acting unusually nice to Haruhi,"
A flash of pain appeared on Kyoyas face, but he quickly erased it.
"These matters... They are related,"
Tamakis eyes widened.
"I asked Haruhi if you hurt her earlier-"
"I would never!" The pain came out again, but this time Kyoya had a harder time hiding it. He glanced downwards. "I don't see what that has to do with what you've noticed today, but I promise you, I have no intention of hurting that girl,"
I do seem to be capable of violence, though.
"Then what did happen this weekend? Because I can't see you acting the way you have for any other reason,"
"Tamaki..." Kyoya looked straight at his friend, but didn't continue. Tamaki read the desperation in his eyes, and tried to quell whatever his fears were.
"You're my best friend in this whole entire world, and I'm sure whatever it is, we can deal with it together,"
Ah, my chest...
Kyoyas heart broke for a moment as Tamaki clasped onto his shoulders. All he could do was stare.
"It's alright, I promise you that everything will be ok,"
Kyoya stiffened as Tamaki embraced him. Kyoya realized, with just a hint of amusement in the back of his mind, that being held for once by someone bigger and taller instead of holding someone smaller and weaker made him feel oddly at ease. Kyoya let himself relax, taking in the sterile scent of Tamakis shampoo as he rested his head on his on shoulder.
He sighed as he hugged Tamaki back, surprising them both.
"Let's just...stay like this. Just a moment..."
"I-if you want,"
They were still.
Kyoya wanted very badly for things to stay just how they were, for his friend to continue to have that unconditional love for him. That warm acceptance was exactly what he wanted, what he had worked for all these years, ever since his birth, and he had found it in his friend. Things were so easy with Tamaki, everything felt like it was a little more simple, like there was just a tiny bit more joy in life.
Then something happened. A commoner, no less, had touched that little soft spot in Kyoya that Tamaki had reached long ago, and now it just wasn't enough. He wanted that same acceptance from someone else.
My selfishness knows no bounds, I see.
Kyoya knew what was to come. He wanted that easy friendship they had forged years ago to remain intact, but they had come this far already. There was no turning back.
It was futile.
"Maybe I'm just lonely?" Kyoyas words were barely a whisper, not entirely intending for Tamaki to hear them, not entirely wanting an answer to the question.
"It's ok, we all get lonely sometimes,"
Kyoya couldn't help but chuckle.
Tamaki chuckled back. The rumbling in his chest lulled Kyoya.
Kyoya could almost fall asleep. His seemingly endless case of fatigue never truly left him, and the darkness coupled with the comforting embrace of his friend was enough to make him want to forget the whole ordeal and fall asleep right there. He always felt a little more at ease with Tamaki around, his presence as familiar to him as his own breath, and just standing there in the dark with him felt just as normal.
He abruptly recalled what the last thing he had done in the dark had been, and forced himself into reality, if only a little.
Kyoya sighed as he relaxed more into Tamaki.
"No one ever seems to consider how one action can have so many consequences...How others can be hurt so much at the expense of just a few peoples happiness,"
Tamaki couldn't help but giggle.
"How very unlike you, to be saying something like that,"
"It isn't. I only say this because I'm greedy, and I know that my actions will have these consequences,"
"Come now, don't tell me you're just now gaining a sense of morality,"
Kyoya smiled at the joke, but the sadness in it went unnoticed by Tamaki.
"Don't worry, I'm not. And it's not about money either, if that's what you're thinking,"
"Ah, I did think that was what you were talking about,"
"That aside, it's interesting, your comment about my morality, Haruhi said something very similar to me this weekend,"
"Did you two talk much?"
Kyoya twitched, but didn't let go of Tamaki.
"Oh...We did. You'd be proud, we get along quite splendidly now,"
"Oh? Well in that case, I am,"
"I said you would be proud. You're smarter than you look, noticing something was wrong with me..."
"There's nothing wrong with you, really," He squeezed Kyoya for emphasis. "I already told you, I'll help you through this, no matter what,"
Then again, he is too dumb to understand hints.
"This... isn't something you can help me with. I'm sorry,"
Kyoya felt a strange emptiness as he pushed Tamaki away from him.
"What do you mean?"
"Last week, you asked me if I had thought about kissing Haruhi,"
Tamaki cocked his head innocently.
"I lied about my answer,"
Tamaki blinked as Kyoya waited for hell to unleash its fury.
"Well...that would have been nice to know earlier! It's ok for Mommies to want to kiss their daughters, just like Daddies-"
"Tamaki, I don't mean it like that, and I don't think you do either,"
The smile remained on Tamakis face, but it faltered.
"But we're a family right? It's just what family does. Because... we all love each other, right? So that means it's ok,"
"Heh. You're right... I guess love would be a good way to describe it. How interesting..." Kyoya trailed off and looked at his hands.
"So there's nothing to worry about then?" Tamaki grinned and stuck his hands in his pockets.
"No...No that's not the case,"
Kyoya struggled on his words for a moment.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is..."
"I love you, but I think I love Haruhi as well." Kyoya seemed to shrug the words out.
"Right, that's exactly what I said,"
Kyoya took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, his brow furrowed. "When you wanted to kiss Haruhi, you didn't have your familiar ideals on your mind did you? You just wanted, isn't that right?"
"Huh? I don't entirely understand-" Tamakis eyes were growing bigger with every one of Kyoyas words.
"You have to accept that sometime! But that is exactly what I am at odds about. I want two things at once, and I can't have both, so I need to make a decision,"
"Kyoya..." Tamaki looked slightly defeated, much to the chagrin of Kyoya.
He looks so much smaller now...
"So if you don't see me and Haruhi like we're in a family, then when you say you love us..." Kyoyas eyes turned sharp to contrast Tamakis saucer-like ones.
"This is why I couldn't face you today..." Kyoya mumbled.
"I don't know what to say...I don't think it's right for you to say such things,"
Kyoya sighed and turned to leave.
"If you don't know what to say, then you shouldn't say anything,"
"Wait," Tamaki grabbed Kyoya by the shoulder. His smile was completely gone.
"Did anything happen with you and Haruhi this weekend? Please..."
Seems all I can do today is sigh.
"What Kaoru said earlier...I think I've been chained to her a very long time now, in a sense,"
Kyoya shrugged Tamakis hand away and walked back towards the light of the club room.
Tamaki watched him walk away, shaking. An odd urge hit him when Kyoya spoke.
He wanted to punch him.
He wanted to make him see that what he was saying, what he was feeling was so horribly wrong. It wasn't something that a family should even consider. Tamaki wanted to pull Kyoya back into the room and yell that he was destroying everything, that he was being selfish, and that it was a mistake to tell him that he wanted to stay by his side no matter what his problems were.
Before his fist could connect with the back of Kyoyas skull, Tamaki mentally backtracked through their conversation. He'd never seen Kyoya so openly affectionate before. When Kyoya didn't push Tamaki away like he did every other time he tried to hug him, he was genuinely worried he was dying, that there was something horribly wrong and that he had just given up entirely.
Tamaki read a little more into Kyoyas words, and it made him retreat his fist.
He loves me...And Haruhi?
"Tamaki, are you coming?"
Tamaki wearily looked up, and offered a weak smile.
"Yeah...Yeah I'm coming,"
Tamaki and Kyoya returned to the world of the living long after Haruhi and Renge had. It was already almost time for them to close up for the day.
While Haruhi had returned with a slightly red Renge trailing behind her, when Kyoya returned Tamaki dragged himself behind Kyoya, looking extremely uncomfortable. A gaggle of girls rushed to his side, and he faltered only for a moment before apologizing profusely and telling everyone that he was perfectly fine, thanks for asking.
Kyoya eased away from the crowd and appeared next to Haruhi, much to the delight of those who witnessed the transition.
"Meet me after school? It will only take a minute..." Kyoya whispered much louder than necessary in Haruhis ear, causing her to jump. A squeal was heard from somewhere nearby.
"Seriously? Don't we need a break from each other?" Haruhi shot him an accusatory glance, but upon seeing the odd smile on his face thought better and nodded.
Hikaru noticed this as he was helping escort guests outside, and felt what was growing to be a familiar rage grow in his chest.
"Hey, don't let them get to you ok? I bet he's doing it on purpose," Kaoru whispered in his ear, trying to be delicate.
"Don't tell me it doesn't bother you too?"
"...Yeah, but getting angry over it isn't helping anyone,"
"Sure as hell helping me," Hikaru started to close the door before he heard a rather panicked yelp come from Kyoya.
He quickly regained his composure.
"Just...put a door stop on that damn thing, will you?"
"Afraid to get stuck in here with us?" They called out in unison, but Kyoya had already walked away.
Haruhi felt more than odd at being in the host club after hours again, and cursed Kyoya for asking her to stay. She just wanted to go home, change her clothes, get a proper bath with her own familiar cleaning products, and sleep in her own bed without worrying that she would wake up in extreme pain or in extreme discomfort. Haruhi had slipped into the changing room at the height of the commotion, and leaned against a wall, tapping her foot. She felt antsy when she heard the door creak open.
"You know, I really don't want to be- mmf," Kyoyas forced kiss didn't catch her entirely off guard, but it was enough to make her stomach flip. He didn't seem to have any intention of breaking away soon, so she let her eyelids drift half shut, trying her best to enjoy taking in his taste. She grew tense, remembering how there was probably someone still outside, and all it took was for someone to need to use the changing room...
Haruhi didn't really bother to return his caresses, or his attempts to turn their kiss into something passionate. She lamely kissed back, idly thinking of what to say when they were surely caught.
Kyoya pulled back to breath, and buried his head in her hair, taking in that sweet odor he had grown so fond of.
"I've been wanting to do that all day..."
"You may as well have, the way you were acting in front of everyone,"
"Can't you let me have a little fun?"
"You don't have to do that you know..."
Kyoya buried his head into her neck and hummed, feeling complacent.
"Lie. You don't have to lie like that,"
Kyoya noticed with slight pain that although he was holding Haruhi as close to him as he could, her arms were hanging limply at her sides.
"Did I bother you?"
"Yeah. Yeah a little bit,"
"Our antics were very good for profits today,"
Haruhi had to resist the urge to kick him. Kyoya lifted his head, albeit reluctantly, to offer her a smile.
"Sorry, I really need to work on my sense of humor,"
Even though it wasn't really a joke...
Haruhi returned his smile tiredly and gave him a little hug, carefully tying not to encourage him more than necessary.
"And I think we had some interesting developments, don't you?"
Haruhi pulled back slightly so she could look at his face.
"You know about Renge?"
"Ah. No, actually. Care to enlighten me?"
Haruhi thought that maybe it would be best not to say anything, but she had already mentioned Renge so...
"She said she and the rest of the girls approve of our 'forbidden love,'" Haruhi mumbled.
Kyoya chuckled and pulled her back into his arms.
"Well isn't that nice? That certainly does save me a lot of trouble. If only our companions felt the same way,"
"Yeah...about that..." Haruhi tried to pull away from him completely, but he shook his head and held her tighter. She sighed before continuing.
"I don't think this is a good idea. Whatever we have here...It's probably not good,"
Kyoya nipped at Haruhis earlobe, causing her to roll her eyes.
"Can't you at least let me try? I've already said something to Tamaki,"
"Eh?" When Haruhi pulled away, Kyoya let her go, slight disappointment on his face.
"Why would you do that? Are you insane?"
Kyoya held his hands up, palms facing towards her in a sign of honesty.
"He cornered me, I don't want to lie to him..."
"You could have," A note of desperation in her voice.
"Haruhi..." He frowned, the surprise and hurt was evident.
"I mean, I tried lying to Renge but you know how she is, she already figured it out, but Tamaki..." She rubbed her temples.
"Do you... Like him?" Haruhi looked at him. A sad smile was on his face. She couldn't be sure if he was faking it or not.
"I don't know," Haruhi answered honestly, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't see what that has to do with anything though,"
"Let me rephrase the question. Do you like him more than me? If he came up to you, right now, and did what I just did, would that be ok with you?"
Haruhi leaned back against the wall, and surveyed Kyoya with tired eyes. She really didn't feel like discussing her feelings at that moment.
"Probably not I guess," Kyoyas sad smile remained as he moved closer to Haruhi, touching his forehead to hers.
"Better than nothing,"
"I didn't know you were the jealous type," Haruhi said quietly.
"I'm not, really," Kyoya tapped his lips on her nose, "I'm just trying to hurt as few people as possible with this,"
"How stoic of you,"
Kyoya chuckled slightly.
"I'm serious Haruhi. You're right, this isn't a good idea, but..."
Oh, I just love you. That's all.
Kyoya sighed and pressed himself against her, closing his eyes. He felt the slight swell of her breasts hidden underneath her uniform, and relished the warmth.
"God, do I want you,"
Haruhi absentmindedly reached up and stroke his cheek, making him shiver in delight. He grabbed her hand and leaned into it, knowing it wouldn't last.
"I...kinda wish I could say the same to you,"
"Heh, it's something... You could start by showing a little more affection every now and again, like this for instance,"
"You are pretty damn easy to manipulate,"
Haruhi ran a finger along his ear, smiling crookedly at the odd noise that escaped him.
"See? And you're the one calling me a dog,"
"All in good humor," Kyoya smiled weakly, not wanting to give in entirely, but not wanting her little touches to end anytime soon. "You know I wasn't kidding when I said I want you," He blinked slowly at her, tilting his head in what he hoped was in an endearing fashion.
"Kyoya I really need a break... Can't I take a rain check or something?" Haruhi shivered as sharp nails found their way beneath her top and traced her skin. Kyoya leaned in closer, fogging up Haruhis glasses.
"It's funny how no one has said anything about these," Kyoya mumbled, pulling at them.
"Probably didn't want to offend me or something like that,"
"They do look quite hideous on you,"
"I appreciate your honesty,"
"...You really do have a lovely face, you know that?"
"You don't need to try so hard to flatter me,"
"It's true though," Kyoya gently placed his lips on hers for a moment, moving his hand farther up her back.
"You know you really should invest in a bra of some sort...It would be a fun challenge to remove it with one hand one of these days,"
"Come on someone will walk in," Haruhi groaned the words, partially out of frustration and partially at the feel of him clawing at her back. Kyoya pressed ever closer to her, testing to see how far he could push before she genuinely tried to stop him. He thought about pointing out her lack of fight, but thought better of it.
"Kyoya seriously," She winced as he kissed her again, pushing his tongue into her mouth, and slowly started grinding his pelvis against hers. It felt dirty to Haruhi, reminding her that it would lookreally bad if anyone walked in.
Oh, speak of the devil.
The insane thought occurred to Haruhi when she heard a slight click of a door closing.
Haruhi pushed Kyoya off of her, hard, and he almost fell back in surprise, the sexual lull he had been falling into leaving immediately.
"Someone was in here," Haruhi said stiffly.
"Someone saw us, I just heard the door close behind them,"
"Everyone left, I saw it myself,"
"Well someone came back in!" Haruhi straightened out her uniform as she ran to the door, flinging it open.
"Damn it they left already..."
"Hmm, I wonder who it was?" He leaned against the wall and ran a hand through his hair.
"Kyoya aren't you worried at all?" Haruhi turned to him, exasperated.
"I see no reason to bother myself with it,"
"I give up," Haruhi opened the door to leave.
"You don't worry about it either, ok? It's not up to us what they do next..."
Haruhi didn't respond as she ran out, noting the propped open main doors.
Not exactly what I had in mind...
Kyoya pushed his glasses up as he watched Haruhi leave him.
Haruhi practically ran the entire way home. She breathed in the clean air of her apartment, and sighed with relief when she saw that her fathers shoes were absent.
One less thing to deal with for now...
She threw her bag on the couch and stumbled into her own kitchen. She could almost kiss the floor. She hummed as she made dinner for herself and her father who was sure to come home late that night. She ate, and mumbled to herself as she stepped into her familiar room, a light layer of dust on the flat surfaces.
I leave for just one weekend and this happens.
Haruhi traced a finger through the dust, amused at the line it left. She tossed her glasses aside and fell on to her bed, amazed at her own exhaustion. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to lay on a normal mattress.
She wondered what Kyoya was doing at that moment.
Haruhi looked to her side, and was almost surprised to find that there was no glint of glasses to greet her.
Must be more exhausted than I thought...
The thought crossed her mind that she could call him and have her question answered personally, but had to scoff at how idiotic it seemed to her a moment later. Wasn't she just complaining about how she needed a break from him for a while?
Haruhi mused at how she had really become far to used to constant company. Without someone occupying the opposite end of the bed, it almost felt wrong. Somehow...lonely.
Without really thinking about it, she grabbed the unused pillow next to her and tucked it underneath her, letting the exhaustion that had been building up that entire day takes its toll.