Hello, I'm Fliff.
Warning! This story contains self-harm.
This is my first multiple chapter Fanfic and I'm an artist not a writer so, please forgive me if it's not all that high a quality. This started out as me venting, I let a friend of mine read it and she thought it was good. So I thought I'd go ahead and publish it.
I don't own Hetalia it belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.
Edit: I have changed some things about this story since it was first uploaded, that includes the title.
This fic was formerly titled October, 22nd, but that title became less significant as the story progressed, thus it was changed. I will change the official title later because it has apparently caused some confusion.
I'm also adding translation notes at the end of each chapter as I edit them.
I hope you like the story and now we shall begin!
Pancakes for dinner
Matthew fiddled with the shiny silver blade in his hand. It had been almost two years since the last time he'd done it. He had made a promise that he wouldn't do it again, but the recent overwhelming stress of the new school year and his home life had persuaded him to commit the awful deed yet again. He pressed the blade to the soft pail skin of the underside of his left wrist. Matthew took in a deep breath, debating whether it would have the affect he desired or if the guilt would only make things worse.
Before he could decide a knock on the door made him jump and yelp in pain. Staring down in horror at the thin line of red that had begun to form on his wrist, he quickly suppressed his panic. Tossing the razor blade under his bed he grabbed tissues from the tissue box by the bed to stop the bleeding before pulling down the sleeve of his black turtleneck shirt to hide the white paper. This doesn't count, right? He went to answer the door.
"Maaattiieee~!" the voice on the other side of the door chimed. Matthew opened the door to his older twin brother Alfred grinning one of his usual stupid grins. "You're going out tonight!" He told Matthew loudly before the smaller blonde could say anything. Matthew stared at his brother dumbly for a moment.
"What? I have no plans."
"I know, that's why you're going to a mixer party with me tonight," Alfred replied enthusiastically.
"A what?" Mattie asked, cocking his head to one side.
"A mixer party! Basically it's a party that a bunch of people who are single go to, to try and hook up," with that explanation Mattie proceeded to shut the door in his brother's face.
"Come ooonnn," Alfred wined through the door, "You never go out, that can't possibly be good for your health!"
"How will going out to a party just to be ignored be any better for my health?" Mattie thought, but he wasn't going to tell his brother that.
"Come on Mattie, I'll introduce you to people so you won't get ignored and there will only be a few people at the party," Alfred told him. Despite Matthew's strong dislike for interaction with others and especially Alfred's friends. The idea sounded a lot better than staying at home to only continue what he had been doing a moment ago. Thus Mattie gave in and opened the door.
"I'll go," He announced.
"Yay!" Alfred cheered doing a little victory dance. "Cool! Now get ready to go," He told his younger twin as he continued his dance down the hall to his room.
As soon as Alfred was gone Mattie ran to the bath room and tended to his arm. The cut wasn't very deep and was only about an inch long. The bleeding had already stopped, so he put a Band-Aid on it and went back to his room to change clothes. After a short debate he decided on what clothes to wear. He examined him-self in the mirror on the back of his bedroom door.
He kept the black turtleneck on, but put on a red plaid hoodie over it. Mattie had gotten in the habit of wearing long sleeves to hide the scars on his arms long before now. For pants he slid in to a snug pair of black skinny jeans that hugged he legs in just the right way, and for shoes his wore a set of classic black and white chucks. Matthew's hair was a light golden-blond color and had a bit of wave to it. It came down to between his ear and his chin and had a widow's peak in the front. He parted his hair in the middle. Then, lastly, he adjusted his oval framed glasses and was out the door with Alfred.
After a short drive in Alfred's red, Dodge pickup they arrived at the restaurant where the party was being held. There was a group of a few people conversing outside when they pulled up. As soon as Alfred got out of the truck he waved to them, greeting them loudly. Matthew followed quietly. Alfred kept to his word and introduced him to the others that proceeded to go around and introduce themselves. There were 11 people in total counting him-self and only a few of them he knew. There was the womanizing Frenchman; Francis, and the adored Spanish soccer player Antonio, who had been the ones to set up the party. The only other boy he recognized was the older of the Italian twins Lovino, who was standing as far away from Antonio as he could without leaving the group while still close enough to shoot him dirty looks. Amongst the girls he recognized was the well-endowed Katyusha and her younger sister Natalya, whom she likely had to beg to come with her. The last girl was Antonio's friend Bella and the other three he didn't know.
When they had finished with introductions Alfred asked with a smug smile plastered across his face, "So Mr. Thinks-he's-awesome isn't coming today?"
"Non, mon ami, he is coming. He's just late," Francis replied half in French.
Matthew could hear Alfred mutter "Dammit," under his breath.
The group entered the restaurant and found a table in the back corner so as to be less distracting to the other diners. Matthew was seated on the end furthest from the waitress who was ready to take their orders. She went around one by one asking for their orders, yet she still skipped right over him. When the quiet blonde tried to get the waitress's attention he wasn't heard over the others' chatter. He gave up; it hadn't been all that long since he'd eaten last anyway. He listened for a little while to the others conversations, but had begun to tone them out in favor of a pleasant memory of his mother. His mother had never once stood by and let the timid blond be ignored.
He remembered that once a waitress had ignored him at a restaurant when his family had gone out to eat. Matthew's mother had stood up and introduced the waitress to her family one by one. She did it in a theatrical way, gesturing with her hands and speaking in a mock British accent.
"Good day, madam," She began "I am Mariellet. This is my husband Franklin," She gestured her arms towards Matthew's father. "Here is my eldest son, Alfred, and then my younger son Matthew," She patted her hand on Mattie's back. "There twins you see," She added at the end before the waitress apologized.
Matthew's mother had been an actress by profession and Matthew had always admired that, though he would never have the courage to do it himself. She had moved from Canada to New York to perform on Broadway. In New York she met Matthew's father Franklin Jones who worked for a well-known company. They made an odd pair, but they were happy. The couple got married and moved to a more rural area of New York where they raised Matthew and Alfred until Mariellet passed away when the twins were 14.
His pleasant memory was interrupted by an energetic voice announcing its owner's arrival. "The awesome Gilbert has arrived!" Matthew looked up to see the albino boy Alfred had referred to as 'Mr. Thinks-he's-awesome'. He was happily greeted by the others and then took a seat a cross from Matthew, already talking with the girl next to him. When the waitress returned with the others' food she gave him a menu and walked away again. After a moment the white haired teen closed the menu and the waitress returned to take his order.
When he finished she asked him, "Will that be all?"
Gilbert looked straight at Matthew with his eyebrows raised. "Are you not going to eat?" He asked; his German accent prominent in his voice.
Matthew felt his cheeks heat up. "I-I'll just have pancakes with maple syrup," the nervous blond blurted out. The waitress jotted down his order and left. The other teen smiled, amused with the smaller boy's choice of food.
"Pancakes for dinner?" He asked teasingly, resting his chin on his right hand with his elbow on the table top.
"I just really like them," Matthew replied his eyes tracing the pattern of the place-mat on the table in front of him.
"A sweet food for a sweet looking kid; sounds pretty awesome to me," Gilbert announced, causing Mattie to blush. "I don't think we've met before?" Gilbert offered out his hand over the table. "I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt, you can just call me Gil," Matthew hesitantly took Gil's hand and shook it. They had met before, but only briefly.
"I'm Matthew Williams."
"So Maddhew what else do you like?" Gilbert asked withdrawing his hand. Matthew wanted to protest the odd pronunciation of his name, but knew it didn't matter.
"Um... I like to play hockey, I like to read, I like nature, I draw and I love to cook," After saying it out loud Matthew felt he sounded really girly.
"Such a goody two shoes," The albino remarked in a sarcastic tone, "But you play hockey?" And with that a conversation started that would've gone on all night if it hadn't been for Mattie and Alfred having to go home at the end of the party.
The partygoers filtered outside, said their goodbyes, and began to disperse. Gil walked up to Mattie outside the restaurant. "We should hang out sometime," Gil told him. Mattie looked at him. He was standing right in front of him, but Gil was looking away.
"All right," Mattie said not sure if the albino was actually talking to him or to someone else. Gilbert looked down at the other blonde with a big smile across his face.
"Awesome! Well, see you later then," And with that the white haired teen walked off to his car and drove away. Matthew watched the other boy leave. He felt loneliness slowly creep over him. He wrapped is right hand around his left wrist gripping it tight.
"You'll remember me, right?" He whispered. Matthew jumped in shock when Alfred placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Bro, it's time to go," he told him. Mathew followed him to the truck without a word. On the ride home Matthew thought about how easy it had been to talk to Gilbert. It had felt like they had known one another for a long time. Matthew could laugh and joke with him in a way he couldn't even do with Alfred. "I don't know if I should try to make this thing work out," he told himself. The rest of the ride home was filled with Alfred's chatter about irrelevant things and the sounds of the car on the highway.
I'm sorry it's so short for a first chapter, but thank you for reading it anyway. It would be great if you would give me a review and tell me what you think.
Non, mon ami - No, my friend
Maddhew – the German spelling for Matthew