A Real Family

A Slayers Fan fiction


Chapter One; My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean


Lina Inverse lived by a motto concerning her life. If something hurt you then tear it out by the roots, dissect it, and leave it rotting in some public place so the entire world knew not to mess the Dramatta. So what happened to her late husband should not really come as a surprise to anyone.

To flesh out this story I suppose you'll be interested in knowing that shortly after the joyous discovery of Zelgadis's cure (the whens and wheres of that are another story), Lina met a young nobleman and quickly fell madly in love... with his money. Fortunately, the nobleman was looking to breed some magical get-go into his genetic pool so they quickly came to an agreement. Lina retired to her homeland of Zephilia with her young man and wasn't heard from for several years.

Through their lively correspondence Amelia was the first to learn of the sudden, violent upheaval in her life. One letter on a bright winter solstice eve informed the young princess that after two years of marriage Lina had simultaneously begotten an heir and killed her husband --- messily.

As Lina was still a free woman and in the good regard of her in-laws one can only be left in confusion. Perhaps some background information is required, for you see as one rather intelligent author once put it, "What Zephilians consider a polite disagreement is considered national warfare in most countries." To be brief, Zephilia is a rather small island off the coast of Sailoon with absolutely no tactical or aesthetic value. Its sole saving grace is that it is literally covered with the world's most arable farming land and produces a shocking number of amazingly powerful warriors each year. There is absolutely no poverty, mostly since there isn't a large enough population living there that the land cannot support them more than adequately. Needless to say, many countries have tried to overtake Zephilia for their owns uses but the afore mentioned amazingly powerful warriors repel them each and every time.

Crime is also practically non-existent on Zephilia for two reasons. For the most part, people inclined towards causing trouble find the small island terribly, terribly boring and most often seek their fortunes elsewhere. The other reason is that ... well, let's just say that your average Zephilian considers chopping the hands off a thief lenient. There is no such thing as a 'repeat offender' in Zephilia.

In general, Zephilia has no use for anyone outside her borders. She answers not to the High Council of Lords that oversees the rest of the world. She lives by her own laws, causes no problems, and expects the rest of her peerage to do the same or else. When one thinks of it, Lina Inverse is very much like the country that saw her birth. To return to the subject at hand, there are two things that no Zephilian has nor ever will tolerate: infidelity and child molestation.

To be blunt Lina Inverse had herself a growth spurt during the last year and a half of her marriage and suddenly became unappealing to her spouse. At some point in the last six months of her marriage (and his life), Lina managed to bludgeon her husband into doing his duty... hence the baby. Shortly afterwards she discovered her hubby's predilection with young children and fireballed him on the spot. Her in-laws' only regrets were that they couldn't get in on the action... as I said, Zephilia has a very strict code of behavior and enforces it rigorously.

One might believe that Lina Inverse would have quit herself of Zephilia, return the children to their distraught parents, and reinstate her bandit hunting regimen... but no.

She wanted to, but the discovery of certain papers in her late husband's study revealed the children to be orphans bought from a slave trader and in sore need of homes. Many of the surrounding families volunteered their homes to the helpless waifs, yet there were still children left. So Lina Inverse reclaimed her maiden name and adopted three of the twelve children that her husband kept for his personal amusement. A serious meeting with the Island Council decided that Lina received the three least scarred children as three children where harder to tend than one and she was only one woman after all, she could only do so much, the poor dear. Lina didn't comment on that misconception.

Luckily the three given over to Lina's custody had suffered from nothing more than being sold by an uncaring relative to a slaver (as if that in itself wasn't enough...) and a frightening stay in the cells that Lina had bricked up before she sold the house and moved her new family to the other side of the island.

After reading the letter of confession three times, Princess Amelia wil Tesla de Sailoon wrote off an urgent message to certain ex-chimera begging a favor.

That is where the story begins.