Intermezzo One thru Eight

An experiment in writing this pairs entries from Buffy's journal/diary with notes from Spikes journal at the same time period. There are eight pairs from various time periods and seasons of the series.

Intermezzo 1 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

A peek into the Diary of Buffy A. Summers and the Secret, Highly Confidential Journal of one William T. Bloody, these volumes were discovered in the rubble that was once the town of Sunnydale, California.
Setting: Post Crush, Season 5

Dear Diary,

Great! As if I don't have enough to deal with. Spike has decided he's in love with me! Just what I need.

The annoying pest tried to use vamp slaying as a way to cage a date! Can you believe it?

I called him on it, of course. So, what does the idiot do? He and his ho ex –girlfriend used a cattle prod and chained me up so he could make all these ookie love declarations to me. When I didn't fall at his feet like a puddle of goo, he threatened to kill me if I didn't give him some hope. Then he offered to dust Dru (not that I would have minded that! One less nutty vamp out there for me to deal with.)

Then Harmony shows up to make it a 3-ring circus! I am so embarrassed!
What am I vamp catnip? Giles says Spike can't possibly feel anything but maybe obsession for me, cause, you know…..vamp. No soul. Angel made it clear that no soul = no love.

I really don't want to have to stake him cause he's kinda helpful. Okay, he's kind of cute too but soooooo not going there! I'll still have to be nice to him in a way because of this whole Glory mess.

Why can't I just have a nice, normal life like every other girl my age?

Buffy

"Buffy, a character study in Haiku"by William the Bloody

Gold Goddess glowing
Warrior, my Boadicea
Words reveal a bitch!

Intermezzo 2 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

Post OMWF S6

Dear Diary,

Idiot vampire! It was just a kiss and I've created a monster. Okay, already a monster, but now he's MY monster. Gaaaaaahhhhh.

Why does he always have to do something sweet just after I've TOLD him there will never be an US?

Today, again, he showed up for patrol. I have to admit I like his company and we kick serious demon ass as a slaying team. I started to feel comfortable, happy even. I could feel myself forgetting what he is, all he's done.

He handed me that stupid bunch of flowers. I know he snatched them from some grave, but it was still sweet because I had just been saying how no one ever gave me flowers.

I almost didn't listen to my usual sane self reminding me that it would NEVER work. I'd lose everyone in my life and then he'd leave too, cause they all do when you dare to care.

I was okay with the kind of alone in heaven, cause, hey…not really alone, you know. But I can't survive here if I'm alone.

If I let myself just go for it that's where it will lead.

So, Buffy, remember this and say it to yourself often:
He is dead. He is a corpse (ewwwwww), he is a thing. He can't feel anything real. He is evil, a serial killer. He only thinks he can love. It's wrong.

So….why does it feel so right?

Buffy

~*~
Warrior Maid by William T. Bloody

My love, with fists annointeth me,
She lays me still and bare.
How sweeter would her kisses be,
Would she but only dare.
Alas, her demons do her slay.
Could I but kiss them all away,
T'would prove I'd ne'er betray.

Intermezzo 3 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

S5 after Fool For Love

Dear Diary,

I had this bright idea. Find out from the last witness standing how to keep from becoming just another dead slayer. Yeah, right! Like Spike would ever be helpful!

So I paid him to spill. Naturally he took advantage of my good nature. Hit me up for spicy chicken wings! Weird vamp, eats human food.

Sometimes it's easy to forget he IS a vamp. He hardly ever goes out in game face and doesn't act like any other vamp I've ever met …. Not even Angel. Like I said, weird.

So, between games of pool, expensive beer and finger food I got the story. According to the Slayer of Slayers, one was too arrogant and the other wanted to die. Jeez, help much?

The weirdest part was the way Spike acted. It was like he though it was some kind of date or something. I swear he was flirting and everything. Can I just say how wigged out that makes me? In the alley, after we did some neat sparring while he told me how he killed his second slayer, I thought he was going to kiss me.

Okay, the REAL scary part…I kinda wanted him to. Let me tell you, I booked it out of the alley as fast as my fashionable shoes carried me!

That's all for now. Gonna check on mom. She's in her room and it sounds like she's cleaning or something with all the banging. She's had a headache for weeks so I can't imagine why she's making all that noise. At least Dawn's already in bed and I don't have to listen to her whine about everything!

Later,

Buffy, the plan to live forever Slayer

"Slayer" (Beneath me, my ass) by Willima teh Bloody
(editors note: this entry in the journal is difficult to read as there is significant running of the ink. The misspelling of the author's name is as entered, however. It rather smells of strong alcoholic spirits and that may account for the condition, both of the journal page and the spelling error for the author).

There once was a Slayer named Buffy,
Who acted all special and huffy.
To a vampire in love,
She said she's above,
When really she's just far too stuffy.

Intermezzo 4 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

S6 after Smashed

~*~
Dear Diary,

I really wish I had some clue about what to do about S … you know who. I mean, I want him like all the time but then I can't wait to get away. I know I'm really mean to him too and he really doesn't deserve that.

When I was dea um gone, he took good care of Dawnie and helped the guys lots. He was nothing but sweet to me, until I started wacking him around that is. Even then he's nicer to me than I am to him.

It's not real. It can't be. If a vamp can love with no soul then Angel would have loved me and he didn't. Spike just thinks he loves me. Probably because Angel had me first. Still, he's so sweet most of the time. He really is my willing slave. I must be a bad person to use him like this, I must have come back wrong.

But sometimes, it isn't really like I'm using him. I really want to be with him, I want it to BE him. Then I remember, it CAN'T be him! It's just hopeless and I am so tired of only feeling bad all the time. Sigh…

B.

"My love makes me Ash", a Sonnet by W. T. Bloody

A love that brings such deep pain and burning,
Should cause this Vamp to run, this man to hide.
Still I hover near, heart ever yearning,
One day you'll see the man I am inside.
I try, I change, my needs are very small.
A look, a touch a fond smile from my love,
One glance from you once more so deep I fall
As far as hell from heaven up above.
I hurt, I soar, I dream to win your heart,
But cold you stay no matter what I do
To run from you would be an act most smart.
Yet hurt me, hate me, still I stay yours true.
Till finally dust, for your love I will hope
The pain it burns, yet I shall ever cope.

Intermezzo 5 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

S6 after a night of demon Kitty poker

Dear Diary,

I've been back here in hell for a few weeks and yet it feels like each day lasts a month. The only time I feel any relief from the pressure is when I'm with Spike of all people.

Well, not people. That's the problem. It would be so easy if he was just human instead of a vampire.

He makes me laugh and doesn't put any pressure on me to be or feel anything. It's funny cause before I, well, before I died (let's just say it) he was all about the love declarations. Now that I'm back he hasn't said it once except with his eyes. Damn he has the most expressive eyes! You can read everything he's feeling. It makes it hard for me to remember that he's a vampire and can't really feel anything real at all.

He cheats at poker! I can't believe those other demons didn't catch him either! They play for kittens, not money. I don't EVEN want to think of why kittens have any value…I don't think they're pets, let's just put it that way. I don't think Spike eats them. He puts up enough of a fuss over having to drink pigs blood I think cat would be even worse.

Anyway, after a day that was one of the worst so far since I've been back, I actually laughed a lot. Somehow just telling Spike about my never ending day filled with speeding co-ed's, construction worker jerks that made me want to cut their heads off along with the demons that attacked me on the job and mummy hands with a mind of their own in a scene right out of "Groundhogs Day" made me see the humor in it all.

He got me drunk and I liked it. Funny, a guy gets you drunk it's usually to try something on you. Spike didn't do that. He just made me laugh and then took me with him to play kitten poker.

I really wish he wasn't a vamp, then again he'd probably just run away from me or I'd have to hold back like with Riley. I hate this.

Depresso Buffy

"Waiting"By William T. Bloody

My love, with hair gold as the sun
your heart from me withhold.
But I will wait eternally
For warmth to come from cold.
Goddess, Love
By God above
I see
the walls will fall one day.
Though you fight yourself and you run
your true demons to slay.

Intermezzo 6 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

S4 after Something Blue

Dear diary,

Okay, splainey! Will says her 'my will be done' spell was for me and Spike to get engaged. So what's up with all the love and cooing from him (okay, I admit it….me too). I couldn't keep my hands off of him or my tongue out of his mouth. And GOD can that vamp kiss! My toes curl just remembering!

No one can EVER EVER know, but I find myself looking at him when no one's watching. He is so hot! Why oh why does he have to be a vampire, cause SOOoooo not going there ever again!

Really, I want to ask Will but don't want her to worry or a lecture or anything (and please! No more interventions EVER). Why do I still dream of Spike? Why do I have fantasies of finding out just how big the Big Bad really is? What is it with me and sexy vampires?

I think there needs to be a 12 step program.

Buffy the vamp ho

"Dangerous Territory" by: Wm. T. Bloody

Her kiss haunts my every memory
Her lips both soft and yielding.
I dream of her most every night
My heart's in need of shielding.

Intermezzo 7 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

S2 after the truce

Dear diary,

I'm really gonna have to do it. I'm going to have to kill my beloved Angel! It's all my fault. I loved the soul out of him and now he's a mindless killer planning to destroy the whole world. I tried everything hoping some part of him still loved me, would come around. Now Miss Calendar is dead and Giles is all revengy and Willow's fish are dead (thank God she didn't get that puppy she wanted for her last birthday!)

Hard to believe my best hope is that bleached blond menace, Spike! He came to me wanting a truce to help stop Angel. I hate to admit it, but I really don't think I can do this without Spike's help. I let it go too long. Angel has Giles and is torturing him I guess. He has all these minions around him and I can't just show up with Xander and Cordy to fight him! It'll have to be Spike.

Funny, I trust him with this. I really think he wants to stop Angel and probably wants to kill him too. If there was any other way, I wouldn't let Spike near him 'cause you can just see how he wants Angel dust. I kinda get that since Angelus has been doing the groiny with Dru while Spike's been in the wheelchair. Not of the good. Hey, I don't like it either, Angel is MY boyfriend! Still, it's Angelus, not Angel.

Spike's promised to leave town with Dru and I know he'll do what he's promised for some reason. Odd how I just know he doesn't lie to me. Weird vamp.

He was funny around mom but that's another story! Only thing I don't get is why I'm not worried that Spike will tear out the throats of everyone I love? That I don't get.

Buffy

Honor Bound, a Haikuby William The Bloody

Love's bitch, save my girl.
Bloody poofter she'll make dust.
I'll take Dru and Run.

This Slayer, Wm. Bloody

She moves with grace
She fights with glee
Aprodite's face,
She's trusting me.
Dru has my heart,
Yet the slayer ignites
Emotions apart
From simple fights.
Anon temptation I must flee.

Intermezzo 8 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

AtS S5 before The Girl In Question

Dear diary,

Dawnie bought me this new journal for my birthday. God, I hope she bought it!

Anyway, I haven't felt like getting in touch with the inner me since, well, since we beat the First. Okay, I know it wasn't what we did, it was what Sp ….Can't go there.
It happened just like it always did before. I finally told the guy I loved him and he left! Okay, he dusted saving the world, a little different but still Buffy's alone in the end. God why do I even bother?

They still don't really get it. They never accepted that I could really care for Spike. (THERE, I actually wrote his name! Spike, Spike, Spike!) Dawn got it, she got it before I ever did.

I stayed in London just long enough to get tired of the awkward silences. No one talked about him or what he did. It was all about the new council plans and how we fought the ultimate bad and beat it (as if!). Finally I packed up Dawnie and headed for the sun and romance of Rome. It's okay I guess. No place will ever really be home again though. My home is a hole in the ground and rubble covering ash.

I think I finally decided how I can make them all see how wonderful Spike was. I've decided to accept a date with this Romeo wanna be with a plastic pretty face and an entourage that would make Madonna drool. He calls himself The Immortal (like Elvis was The King….bleeecch). I mean, he's OILY!

He's a demon, of course. Big with the no soul having too. He hasn't done anything majorly evil I can pin on him though so they can't make me kill him. Just wait till they all get a load of Mr. Not so Virgin Oil! Oh yeah, they'll wish Spike was still around to be my guy. I'm gonna be Buffy the Partying demon lover, a total slacker with the whole slaying gig. They'll wish they'd thrown parties to welcome a romance between me and Spike and Willow'll be back with the magics to raise him back to save me from the Italian Legend in His Own Mind.

Buffy's gonna paint the town red every night until they all cry for mercy. Then, I'll come home and cry for real.

Wonder if Will could raise him?

Buffy

Lovers Dilemmaby Her William

She gifted me with love as I lay down my life,
A dream long held yet never realized before.
Our history filled with tempest, pain, regret and strife,
few tender words or touch, yet she I still adore.

Passion released, lightening flash of desire so hot,
Hearts exposed, walls torn down, terrify this woman.
With my body I worship, love words I speak not,
Melt to one, then with virtue aflutter, she ran.

But in the end she spoke the words my heart begged for.
Hands aflame, burned away without a precious kiss.
So shall I seek my love my yearnings there to pour?
Torn by needs, I act not, my choice you see is this,

To dare to test my fair love, see if true she spake,
else stay and live in dreams where bliss is what I make?

Chapter 9 by pfeifferpack

Author's Notes:

These poems were written in May 2009 for seasonal Spuffy on LJ and titled Window on William

Cinq Cinquains:

Buffy
Beautiful, resilient,
Dancing, striving, forgives
She's magnanimous, exquisite, perfection
Salvation

~*~
Slayer
Deadly, graceful
Killing, giving, loving,
She's witty, resourceful, lethal
Destiny

Soul
Guilty, needy
Regretting, hurting, convicting,
It's necessary, guiding, humbling,
Yours

Love
Burning, consuming,
Give, forgive, sacrifice,
Makes one come alive
Core

Sex
Powerful, helpless
Melt, moan, possess, submit
Together, never alone again
Pleasure

Trio of Tankas:

~*~
In thrall she holds me.
Falling stars rest in her eyes.
Hair, gold as the sun,
My soul is filled with birdsong,
Singing praises to all her glories.

Hands, soft yet lethal.
Silken waterfalls of hair
Cascade o'er snowy
Mounds, both shoulder and breast. Eyes
That see all, yet miss so much.

Tongue like rapier
She flays me to the bone. Her
Mouth gives joy, also
Hell for one who lives by her
Every word. Speak kindly, love.

Simply Shakespearean

She walks, death's companion, yet made of light.
I loved her ere I knew her name or face!
Oh, to be welcome at her side to fight
the battles that consume her. Not my place.
Forfeit all with my rude insistence. Now
bereft, apart, condemned by my own deeds.
I pledge my life; my loyalty I vow
to the one who set aside her own needs
and, undeserved, my great transgressions forgives.
So how then can I do less than love her?
Caught in her snare, I'm her eternal slave.
All I am is the best I can offer.
No love from her can I expect. My goal
is to be hers. She owns my heart and soul.

Septets

Could I but do o'er the time we
Were close, I'd love her well and good.
Forget my needs and to hers see.
Her pleadings not misunderstood.
Never would it end with a shove.
The monster hangs, judged from above,
Broken on the cross of her love.

She is a song without dancing.
I hide within the night's black wings.
Called to her song, chance a dusting,
I teach the dance; my dark heart sings.
Oh, that she could see shades of grey,
My devotion her heart to sway!
Only pure love burns sins away.

End Notes:

A/N: Cinquain poems follow the following rules:
Line 1 - One word (a noun) naming the subject of the verse.
Line 2 - Two words (adjectives) describing the subject.
Line 3 - Three words (verbs) describing the subject's actions.
Line 4 - Four words giving the writer's opinion of the subject.
Line 5 - One word (noun) giving another name for the subject.
Tanka is a Japanese poetry type of five lines, the first and third composed of five syllables and the rest of seven. Tanka is the oldest type of poetry in Japan.
Shakespearean sonnet: 14 lines, The usual rhyme scheme is end-rhymed a-b-a-b, c-d-c-d, e-f-e-f, g-g.
Septet, 7 line stanza ABABCCC