Characters: River, The Doctor, Rory, and Amy

Spoilers: Through A Good Man Goes to War

Author's Notes: This was just an excuse for me to write a clichéd daddy catches daughter and daughter's boyfriend getting up to naughty things story. I'm just waiting for something like this to happen in the series. It must happen. This is a one-shot, for now. I'll add the second chapter, half of which is already written, as soon I can figure out how to properly end it.


Things and Parenting


"You. Me. Handcuffs."

Amy's eyebrows rose when she caught River's words to The Doctor on the wind.

"Must it always end this way?"


"I dated a Nestene duplicate once. Swappable head. Did keep things fresh!"

Amy and Rory shared a look, their eyebrows raised.


"Shout if you get in trouble."

Rory and Amy watched in amusement as River teased The Doctor, climbing down under the warehouse.

Her eyes locked with his, "Don't worry. I'm quite the screamer…Now there's a spoiler for you!"

Their jaws dropped a little.


"Stop it."

"Make me."

"Yeah, well, maybe I will."

Amy internally sighed. Really? They have to do the flirting thing now?

On any other day, the redhead wouldn't really mind the blatant flirting between the two. She was still strapped down, however, so this wasn't one of those days.


"Unless there are two of them."

"Now, well, that's a whole different birthday," the look on River's face could only be described as mischievous.

Rory blinked.


"Rory, do you remember any of the things that River said to The Doctor?" Amy asked him one day, curling up to her husband on their lower bunk bed.

He frowned. "What kind of things?"

"You know. Things."

Rory watched her stare at him pointedly, waiting for him to catch up with what his wife was…

"Oh." He blinked.

"Yeah."

"Oh." Something in his tone changed; he sounded more serious.

"Yup," Amy looked like she was plotting The Doctor's demise in her head, and wondering if it was possible to ground their future daughter the next time they saw her. Ha, why wonder? She was so grounded.

Rory got out of bed, starting towards the chest where he kept his Roman wear. Including the gladius.

He took out the sword, mumbling "Things", planted a quick kiss on Amy's lips, and then stalked towards the door. Amy cheerily waved him out.

"Try not to hurt him too much!" She called out to her husband, and then chuckled to herself.

"Oh, Doctor. The one woman you end up getting involved with, and her dad's a Roman soldier with a sword."