Disclaimer: "NCIS" and its characters don't belong to me they belong to CBS and are being used without permission. Please don't sue because I have no money.
Tony walks into the bullpen all bright and smiley, but he really doesn't feel happy. He had decided to put on his happy Mask on. He called them masks because he never could be really himself. It was almost like he had to put on a different persona which why he called them masks. He felt like he was an actor almost everyday. Even when he thought he was dying he had on his jokester mask always making jokes and making himself cough. He had to be brave. He had perfected his masks when he was little. He had to hide behind them because his of his father. It had hurt him when his father had told him he was worthless and will end up in the gutter. There were a few other things he would say to him over the years and he had learned to let the hurt not show. That was his first mask. The second mask was when he had been abandoned time and time again. He had been left at the hotel room no problem he had put on his mask when one of his father's employees came to get him. He was disappointed that his father couldn't even take a day out of his busy day to come and get him, so that was his second mask. His third mask came when his father would hit him. He had to hide behind the pain with his mask. The fourth mask was when others were happy when they got to go on vacations with their parents he put on his happy masks and told them lies of his own vacation. Over the years he had perfected these masks. Sometimes he felt like he was an actor most days because he had to wear so many masks in a day. It was almost like a second skin and he really didn't want to part with them because then he would feel exposed.
Along with the masks came the lies too. He would lie that he was feeling good he would lie to others about what he was doing. He was good at lying because once again he had done it as a child. He lied about the bruise on his face, he would lie about why his father wasn't there and he would lie about presents he didn't get, or vacations he never got to go on.
He had once told Kate did she think it was easy for little Anthony DiNozzo to grow up rich. She said sorry and she looked surprised, but of course he lied and said of course he missed the money. He didn't want her to know about his poor pitiful life. That life in the DiNozzo household was not easy it was hard.
Maybe Ziva knew a little about his life, but of course he didn't know what she had really researched on him. She knew where he went to school and that he had the plague, but that was it. He wondered if she really knew what growing up in that environment was like.
McGee didn't have a clue about what his life was like. Not really. Yes, he told him and the team a little bit of it like how he was left in a hotel room for two days. That he had been beaten on the butt during Halloween, but he didn't know half of it.
Abby didn't know anything about it either. He wanted to protect her from what his childhood was really like.
Gibbs probably knew because he was Gibbs, but he never asked. He knew that he could talk to him about his past if he wanted to that he would be there for him. He was his surrogate dad, but didn't know if Gibbs felt like he was like a son. He hoped so, but he didn't know.