Just Don't Tell Anyone
"Before I tell you this story, you have to think to yourself, how good are you at keeping your own secrets? Then you have to think some more about how good you are at keeping someone else's secrets?
It seems almost impossible, doesn't it? You always have to tell someone, even if that person has no idea who you're talking about.
Well that's what was wrong with me." Robbie said as he introduced his video blog.
"I guess if I've already told everyone, it wouldn't hurt to tell anyone else, so here goes."
Robbie held up a piece of paper on it that said simply, I'm sorry Trina.
"There was this girl. She was an amazingly talented actress. She was only so amazing because everyone thought she was just horrible, but she wasn't. Anyway, I had a crush on her, but she wanted nothing to do with me. That was pretty much the story of my life. But this time, I fell a little bit harder and I couldn't just move on. I badly wanted to make her mine."
"People thought I was crazy, and people tried to stop me from doing it, but that just wasn't possible for me, I loved her, and I couldn't stop."
"Then one day, she got injured, really badly injured. I can't tell you who did it, but I felt absolutely horrible when it happened. We were in a play and her harness broke and the entire set fell on her. It was horrifying."
"She got taken to the hospital immediately, but I got kept at school. We were all being interrogated about who tried to hurt her, and we never did find out. But after that, I went to the hospital, and I begged to visit her room."
"They let me in, after several bribes, and I went to her room. She looked pretty messed up, but she still managed to sit up slightly and welcome me."
Robbie paused his video for a moment and thought back to when he had visited Trina in the hospital. He was the only one that had bothered to visit her, which was shocking for him, even if no one liked her.
He sat next to her bed and handed her the flowers he had bought on the way over.
"These are for you."
"Thank you." She rasped.
"Wait, you just thanked me?" He asked, more confused than he normally was.
"You don't think I'm really a diva all the time, do you?"
"Well, for someone who claims to love me, you don't know much about me."
"I know plenty about you."
"That doesn't sound less creepy."
"You were going somewhere?" He returned, changing the subject.
"A good actor knows how to act like someone else, a great actor knows how to act like themselves."
"I mean, I can act, silly."
"I knew it. You were acting every time you said you didn't love me."
"You're really sweet, but..." She paused. "You're just not my type."
"Well, what is your type? I can change?" He pleaded.
"Robbie, if I tell you a secret that I've never told anyone, do you promise not to tell."
"What kind of a secret, it's nothing illegal is it?"
"Just don't tell anyone."
"Promise, so what is it?"
He paused and let himself get his breath before he turned back to her, still lying uncomfortably in the bed, but she seemed much kinder and softer than before.
"Who else knows?" He asked.
"No one, they don't care."
"Trina, plenty of people care about you."
"Oh really, then where are they?"
"They're probably on their way here now, why do you think that?"
"I mean, I act like a total brat so that people will think of me like that, and I don't keep getting hassled by guys to go out with them. I don't like rejecting people, I just don't like...well...guys."
"So that's what you were talking about before, about acting?"
"And bingo was his name-o."
"But why don't you just tell everyone?"
"I'm not ready to."
Robbie interrupted his flashback when he decided to return to his video blog.
"So, we talked for hours and she told me that the reason she kept rejecting me was because she was gay. She hadn't told anyone, not even her own family, yet she confided it in me. And I know what a lot of you are thinking, 'Man, you just got rejected by the oldest trick in the book' but I didn't. None of you were there to see how honest she was, none of you saw the look on her face when she asked me to promise that I wouldn't tell anyone."
"So I like to think that I wasn't rejected, and she was telling the truth. Anyway, when she got out of the hospital, we started hanging out a lot more, and we became best friends. Sure, people laughed, but they were just mean people and we just ignored them."
"Then she told me how her sister was starting to make fun of her for 'dating' me, and no matter how much she tried to tell her we weren't dating, she couldn't convince her. Then my friends started making jokes about why I wasn't 'getting any' even though I was so 'whipped'."
"If any of you have ever had your friends tease you like this, then you know that there's a point when you just can't take it anymore, and you have to tell them something, so, you probably all guessed it. I told them exactly why she wasn't dating me, and we were just best friends."
"At first they started making jokes about it amongst themselves, then they started getting more public, then some people that didn't like her found out, and they pushed her to breaking point. So, that's exactly what she did. She broke."
"Everyone thought she had finally picked up her 'talentless self' and left the school except for her sister, her parents and me. We knew where she actually went, and it was the worst thing to walk in on. I don't know if it was the way she was dangling lifeless and helplessly or the fact that she wrote a chilling little note that said 'Thanks Robbie, I knew I could count on you to not tell anyone.'."
"I know I am the horrible person who couldn't keep a secret, but I'm not the entire reason she did what she did. You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You find someone different from you, and you victimise the hell out of her until she can't take it anymore. Well congratulations, one down, but you've still got everyone to go. I hope you're all happy."
He took in a deep breath to hold back his anger and continued talking.
"I'm sorry Trina. I wish I didn't tell anyone, and even though I'm not your type, I still love you just the same. I hope you can forgive me."
He clicked on the button to stop recording and then clicked to burn it onto a disc. He came back half an hour later when it was all done and shoved it in his school bag, and made another copy with the second last part cut out, which he put in a large yellow envelope and mailed it to the Vega's with a note that told them to play it at Trina's funeral.
He packed up several pairs of clothes, and all the money from his bar mitzvah that he'd convinced everyone was spent, plus his pocket money that he'd saved up over the years and shoved that in his bag too. Then he zipped it up and put it on his back.
He got to school, where everyone was still giving him a hard time, except for a few people. Tori told everyone she was taking a few weeks off school, because she didn't think she could stand to hear one joke about her deceased sister, but she simply told them she was going on vacation. Tori told Cat what happened, and Cat would visit her occasionally, and she was the only one being nice to Robbie, and occasionally telling everyone to lay off with the insults.
Halfway through the day, he walked into the principal's office and he handed her the CD and asked if she could play it at the next assembly. At first she refused, but then Robbie told her to play the DVD. It only got halfway through before Robbie had to leave the room to stop crying, but Helen followed him out when it was done and she hugged him and told him she was 'very sorry for his loss.'
Robbie made sure she promised to show it at the next assembly, then he walked to his locker, pulled his ventriloquist dummy out, and threw it in the bin. Then he walked out of the school, over to his car, and he started it up and just drove off, occasionally wiping the tears off his glasses.
Hope You Enjoyed