Let the Christmas festivities kick-off. And hang the politically correct "say-Holiday-not-Christmas" hogwash; I'm still saying it. Now this story's a bit out of my theories of monster captures, but I just had to do it! Enjoy!
"Veniiiteeee, venii-ii-teee,i-in Beeeth-le-heeem;
"Venite adoooreemu-us, Dooo-ho-ho-ommm-in-uuuuuuummmm"
Dr. Cockroach finished the quiet crooning and sweetly remembered that language he learned in high school as a teenager. It was a lovely language yet a dead one, now only used for international communications on scientific names.
"Doc, seriously; what's with the mumbo jumbo?"
"It's Latin, Invisible Man." The bug man brooded.
"I know that, if you're gonna sing it, sing it in English…if you're gonna sing it in Latin, do it Bing Crosby or Nat King Cole style. It's the only way."
"Can I try?" BOB asked, waving his hand like a student in class.
"Break a leg, buddy!" The Invisible Man gave a thumbs-up.
"I don't have legs…does that mean I have to break someone else's?"
"Just sing!" Link grumbled.
"A duuuusssty fiiiddle,leeeeeeeesssss,
"Lady trial cooommmmfooorrrrt,
"Vennntiiii-uh, vivvveeetttte, eh? In Beeeth-le-heem?
"Naaaaa tuuuumy vennntiiiii,
"Reagan Aaannngel Lauuurrraaaa,
"They needed an old reeeeed moose,
"They needed an old reeeeed moose,
"They needed an old reeeeed moose, dominoes!"
Only the Invisible Man clapped and even gave a standing ovation.
"Thank you, yes, thank you." BOB bowed. "Our next show will be tonight at 9 o'clock." He peered of into the corner. "Hey, Doc, what's that you're building?"
"A Christmas tree…" He said, not turning his head to his companions.
"How do you know it's almost Christmas?" The blob asked.
Link turned up the radio,
You better watch out (watch out),
You better not cry (boo hoo)
You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why;
Oh! Saaannta Claus is comin' to town, (yeah)
"Sorry, kid." Link turned it back down. "You're cute, but…not that cute."
"O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
"Wie treu sind deine Blätter!" The doctor began singing again.
"Okay, now that I don't get." BOB commented. "All I know is—" He raised his hand in the Hitler salute.
"Not in an American facility." Link wrapped an arm around BOB's mouth.
"Amen to that." The Invisible Man agreed. "How about this?
"Isn't dis a Christmas tree?
"Yah, das ist ein Christmas tree.
"Isn't all this candy free?
"Oh, yes, all dis candy's free.
"Candy free, Christmas tree,
"What a merry Christmas party, what a merry Christmas tree!"
"Sing it again! Sing it again!" BOB clapped.
While the Invisible Man entertained his brainless friend with the comedic Christmas song, Link wandered over to Dr. Cockroach, not only out of curiosity but mainly to get away from all the obnoxious ruckus.
"Nice tree, Doc." He said sarcastically. "Really nice." Who was to blame the fish ape? The tree, rather than a fine fresh-smelling piece of woodland nature, was rather a dog-pile of old pieces of wood planks, paper, melon peels, and all sorts of saved garbage. The only thing that was really interesting was the star on top. It sure was a beauty for being pulled tossed out, but there was one little detail that made it odd: a little round ball on the top point.
"Impressive, isn't it?" Dr. Cockroach folded his hands behind his back only to return to the other reserved garbage.
"Is this another one of your—"
"Shush…" His voice lowered to a whisper. "You see the top point of the star?" Link nodded. "This tree serves as a radio tower with that small ball as the receptor. When the moment is right, we'll receive communications from governments around the world and call for help." A wicked smile formed on the human mustache as he continued back to work by making a chain from ragged ripped construction paper, fastening the rings with repaired wires. A few minutes later, the tree was nice and decorated. "Now, can you help me put this in the middle of the room?"
"Be gentle with it, Link."
"Wow…a Christmas tree…just like the ones in the ads." BOB squealed.
"Yeah, and recycled, too." The Invisible Man added. "I swear, Doc, the hippies are gonna worship you. Say, BOB, remember some of the things you didn't get for your birthday?" He turned to the other prisoners in deliberate annoyance. "Remember, guys?"
"Yeah…" BOB thought hard. "…Come to think of it, those things are pretty stupid now. I really don't know what I want for Christmas."
"I'm not sure either, bro. I'm pretty sure what those bozos want." The transparent human stuck his tongue out.
"And I'm pretty sure I know what you want." Link growled, clapping his fist in the palm of his other hand and marching up. "You like cash, huh, Invisible Man?"
"Yeah…and lots of it."
"Well, the tooth fairy's gonna make you rich tonight."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa…easy does it, fish-face."
"Easy shmeasy…I swear once I get to you, I'm gonna…"
"What's that?" BOB asked, somewhat shuddering at the subtle slow thunder-like sound.
"Merry Christmas, monsters!" Captain Monger stepped in with a smile, his hands folded behind his back. "I broughtcha somethin', somethin' I think you've been wantin' for a while." Link and Dr. Cockroach's faces lit up in anticipation. "No, yer not gettin' out." The smiles turned upside-down. "Okay, boys!"
The door…no, doors,…make that wall slid open. All seven eyes of the monsters widened at the sight of a giant grub.
"Whoa, mamma!" The Invisible Man gawked. "Where the h-e-double-hockey-sticks did you pick this up, Cap?"
"Tokyo, Invisible Man. Meet Insectosaurus: a prime example that nuclear radiation and grubs don't mix. Be a little nice with him; he's pretty scared."
Frightened, Insectosaurus stepped forward…too much forward. A dreadful crunching noise was heard from under his foot, making him even more scared.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Link called. "Easy does it,…easy…" Insecto calmed down. "Yeah, that's it…" The behemoth settled down and stepped backwards to get a better view of his new friends. "All clear! He's okay!" Link called.
"Yay!" The Invisible Man and BOB cheered in unison before singing,
"Heeeee's come hooooooooome for Chriiiissstmasssss,
"Heeeee can cooooouuuuuunt on weeeeeee."
As the others welcomed the new arrival and parodied the popular Christmas song, Dr. Cockroach sat at the back of the room, antennae drooping in front of his face, as he held a piece of the flattened paper chain.
"Heeeee's come hoooooomme for Chriiiiiistmaaaaaassss,"
The Invisible Man emphasized the last line, just for the sulking doctor.
"If ooooonllllyyyy innnnn hiiiissss dre-he-he-eaaaaaaaammmmms…."
So for carols…you probably recognize the Jackson 5 version of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. The song following Christmas Tree is a song called Yah Das Ist Ein Christmas Tree, sung by Mel Blanc (voiced a lot of the Looney Tunes characters).