Don't forget to remember me
By: Miss P
Summary: Miss Parker needs a heart transplant, and when all hope seems to be gone,
she is saved in a way no one could have foreseen.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Pretender characters
"Jarod, you shouldn't be here, the Centre could…"
He put a finger over my lips, hushing me. Then he smiled sadly. "I don't care about the Centre…"
I didn't speak, but the look in my eyes must have spoken louder than any words could have. There he was, risking everything, just for a few minutes with me. Maybe he knew it too. This could be my last night alive. The doctors had said it, and I could feel it, my heart was just too damn weak to keep on beating. It could stop, at any minute. Transplantations had been discussed, but there was no match. And I wasn't topping the lists either, no matter how many strings the Centre had pulled, it didn't seem like there was a way out of this alive.
"Don't worry, you will be just fine," he said softly, almost as if he'd read my mind.
I shook my head slowly. "You know that's not true," I whispered. He had to know. Just looking at me should be enough to realize how bad it was. Machines kept me alive, the constant beeping and the white walls of the hospital room seemed to be counting down every second closer to the end.
"You will live, Parker. I promise you."
I didn't have the strength to argue something we both knew was bound to happen. If Jarod was trying to make me feel better, I appreciated the gesture, but it wasn't working.
"There is so much that I didn't do… so much I should have done… it's…" my voice trailed off and I sighed. I looked up at Jarod. "Now it's too late."
He smiled. It irritated me.
"Promise me you'll get as far away from the Centre as you can?"
"Oh they won't bother me no more, don't you worry about that."
"Good," I whispered.
"Hey," Jarod whispered just as soft. "I should go," he reached out to brush my hair out of my face, letting his fingers linger on my cheek. "Don't forget to remember me, okay?"
"You'll understand soon," Jarod smiled a sad smile. "I love you; I love you more than anything."
I was speechless. I just couldn't believe he'd spoke the words I had kept hidden for so long. And he'd made it sound so easy, so true… but then again, why wouldn't he, I was dying anyway.
He took my hand and squeezed it, then leaned down to place a soft kiss on my lips. He pulled away and stood, letting my hand fall back onto the bed.
There were only a few steps to the door, but as Jarod backed toward it, it seemed to take forever. I stared at him as he slowly retreated.
"Jarod," I whispered. He stopped and looked at me. "I love you too," the words were just above a trembling whisper, but I had to say them. I just couldn't stand dying without letting him know what he should have known for so long now.
He smiled, and slowly nodded. "I know."
I was just about to comment, when I saw tears silently rolling down his cheeks.
"I just wish there was a chance for us to be together," he whispered, then he went away, leaving me staring after him.
When I awoke I was confused. I didn't know how much time had passed, but I had a feeling it was a lot. The machines had been removed and there was a strange aching in my chest. I looked around the room, and spotted Sydney and Broots sitting there.
It took a while until I found my voice, and when I did I didn't know what to say.
"What happened?" I finally decided to ask.
The men smiled. "Parker, you're awake!" Sydney pulled his chair closer to the bed. "How are you feeling?"
I didn't know. I was too confused to register the fact that I actually felt good. Besides that tugging ache in my chest, that is.
Sydney must have picked up on my confusion. "They were able to find a donor, the operation went very well. The doctors were surprised your body reacted so good to the new organ considering it's a man's heart. The chances of surviving that kind of transplant is much slimmer, but you are going to be fine Parker," he smiled.
"Who… how? Did someone die?" I knew it was a stupid thing to ask. Did it really matter? I was alive, that was all that should matter to me. But somehow I felt a sadness that I couldn't explain.
"I don't know."
"Where is…" I looked around, almost expecting him to be there. "… where's Jarod?"
"I don't know, Parker," Sydney repeated. "But he left you this."
I took the letter, slowly unfolding it and started to read.
"I said you'd be just fine Miss Parker, now didn't I? I hope you'll use this chance to do something different with your life, your heart doesn't belong in the Centre.
You deserve so much more than that place. You've got a new life, use it wisely. And Miss Parker? Remember I'll always love you, and… don't forget to remember me. Jarod."
I stared at the piece of paper, not understanding. He'd said those words before when he had visited. Don't forget to remember me. What did it mean? And why would he write me a note? Where was he? He'd told me he loved me, and with those words said, I had almost expected him to be there when I woke up… unless… Your heart doesn't belong in the Centre… your heart… his heart.
The truth hit me like a bucket of ice water thrown over my head. I gasped. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. But there wasn't any other explanation.
"Oh… my… god, Sydney?" I whispered.
"What is it?"
"I know whose heart I got." Sydney didn't understand, and I handed over the note as in a trance. The world stood still as I watched Sydney read it. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe. For a moment I thought that all of this was just a sick joke, but the heart thundering in my chest let me know it wasn't.
"Jarod," Sydney whispered at last. I nodded numbly.
I closed my eyes, leaning back against the pillow with a shocked breath escaping my lips. Slowly I placed a trembling hand over my heart. It was beating strong and healthy, something I hadn't felt in a long time now.
"Could he have been sick? Could that be why he gave up his own life to save mine? Not even Jarod would be that self sacrificing without a damn good reason." I spoke with my eyes still closed, and with every word my voice cracked until I could barely speak at all.
"Maybe, he never said it out loud, but what I understood of our conversations, there was something that was bothering him. He said something about not having so much time and that he needed answers before it was too late."
"Did you give him any?" I managed to choke out. "Answers?"
I was just about to ask why he had never told me, when another thought struck me. I opened my eyes and looked at Sydney. "Does my father know about this?"
"Mr. Parker knows about the operation, but he…" I cut him off.
"He's not here; he didn't even come to…" I shook my head, not able to go on. "Does he even know if I'm dead or alive?"
"I don't know."
"Then what do you know?" I snapped.
"Parker, you have to stay calm."
I didn't respond. Instead I fell silent, turning my head so the men wouldn't see the tears that had escaped my eyes to silently roll down my cheeks. My head was spinning with thoughts, and all of them made me sad. I knew I should be happy to be alive, and I guess that somewhere deep down I was, but I had never imagined this. I had no idea of how he had pulled this off, but I didn't want to know.
The words 'don't forget to remember me', still echoed in my head. And I knew that I would never forget. How could I? With his heart beating in my chest, he would live on inside of me… forever.
A/N: It's so sad that there seems to be so few Pretender writers/readers left out there. Hey where did everyone go? Now when I'm back everyone's gone : (