Chapter Ten through Chapter Fourteen

Interrogations and more!

Edward's sister bailed us out. She looked like a fairy. I asked her if she could sprinkle some fairy dust on me so I could fly with Peter Pan. She smacked me so hard I had to go to the hospital. After I was all patched up, Edward drove me to school, because somehow school is still important even though I have a vampire boyfriend.

School was boring. Nothing happened besides the fact that I tried to have sex with Edward in the custodian closet. He screamed rape and ran down the hall. Pansy.

During Biology I nearly got electrocuted from Edward's skin. We were watching some shitty movie. At least, I think it was shitty. I wasn't paying attention, 'cause ya know...Something funky was going on with Edward's skin.

When Edward dropped me off at my house, he stayed with me and asked me a bunch of questions while we sat on my front porch steps. It was kind of sweet, actually, that he wanted to know everything about me.

"What's your blood type?"

"What kind of panties do you wear?"

"What's your cup size?"

Just so romantic. In turn, I asked him questions.

"Boxers or briefs?"

...That's all I pretty much wanted to know.

Edward had to leave and Charlie got home from work right after. He said he'd order pizza 'cause his friend Billy was coming over with his son.

Billy was super suspicious and shit. "YOUR DAUGHTER'S FUCKING A VAMPIRE!"

Charlie chuckled. "Ever since Billy's accident, he hasn't been all there, if you know what I mean." He circled his temple with his finger. "Coo-coo." He chuckled again and slapped Billy's shoulder. "Love ya, man."

In chapter twelve, we had more school, so lets just skip that whole ordeal. It's not important. Really, I'm just trying to build up to what happened in the prologue, remember? Remember that? Yeah, it's been a while, huh? Well all this school bullshit doesn't have anything to do with me getting kinky with a vampire.

Edward and I made plans to go hiking. I suspected something like Brokeback Mountain, except it being heterosexual sex. Mmm, I'd like to see Edward in assless chaps and a cowboy hat. It didn't happen. On the upside?...There really was no upside. He took me to a fucking meadow. A MEADOW! And we didn't even have sex. Edward got all protective angsty vampire again and tore his shirt off. He sparkled like a fairy. It was so pretty! I oohed and ahhed appropriately, but he went batshit crazy and tore a tree out of the fucking ground.

He then apologized and when we got back to the car we totally made out. Edward pulled back, even though I was totally willing to give up my v-card...I do too have one! It's the v-card of the mind that matters!

Edward drove back and started talking about himself like there was no tomorrow. I didn't ask, but I found out that him and Carlisle were gay lovers and Carlisle changed him when Edward was dying of AIDS. Or something like that. I dunno, I wasn't paying attention.

It was nighttime by the time when we got back to my house. I found out that Edward watches me when I sleep.

"How often? How often do you come here?"

"I come here almost every night."

"Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep."

I stared at him. "You...watch...me sleep...?"

He nodded, unabashed. "You talk, when you sleep, that is."

I let out a squeal. "Edward! That's so sweet!" That's when I became angry. "Wait...what did I say?"

"Something about some Edward guy being so big and something about being so sticky. Do you play a lot of video games? Were you fighting a robot with a sticky blaster gun?"

I grimaced. "Yeah, tons. I totally wasn't having a sex dream that I thought about turning into a book because my marriage life is so pathetic that I had to create a fictional character just to get off...I think I'll call it Twilight!"

Edward tilted his head in confusion. "What?"

I shrugged. "I dunno...Lets have sex!"

He recoiled. "Eww! No!"

I pouted. "Ugh, fine. We'll just talk about my pointless jealousies and your obvious obsession with me for the rest of the chapter, then."