Tony couldn't help a smile as the Mafia man flopped to the cement floor, gun skittering out of his hand. Once again, Gibbs' trigger finger had saved the day. Tony went forwards to check the body down for any other explosives and weapons, smirking up at his boss.

"Good shot Boss, hit him right- Gibbs?" Tony looked up to see Gibbs' knees give way. Tony was at his side in a second, rolling him over gently.

"Oh no" Tony muttered repetitively, and McGee was instantly at his side, leaving Ziva where he had been checking her over.

"Why does the man never wear a jacket?" He said to McGee, unaware that he was actually screaming at the younger agent as they both applied pressure to the wound in their boss' chest.

Tony began CPR, McGee called an ambulance for both Ziva and Gibbs. Ziva's condition was stable, she would just have a killer headache and some internal repairs, but Gibbs...

Chest compressions left too much time to think; too much to think about. Every second that was being wasted was another second Gibbs might not have to live. Of course, hearing Tony talking this out loud, Gibbs would have slapped him a thousand times over by now.

The ambulances roared into the building five minutes later, and the EMT's took over Gibbs' CPR. McGee and Tony were made to sit down and watch as their teammates were loaded into the emergency vehicles, both covered in blood.

Tony felt like he had been kicked in the gut. One look at McGee, and you could tell he felt the same.

Survivor's guilt was a bitch.


An hour later, Tony stood in the sterile hallway at Bethesda. The waiting was unbearable. How could HE have let this happen? His teammate and mentor were laying in separate rooms,

McGee sat a little ways away, Abby had been forced to go home by Jimmy Palmer, and Ducky was assisting Gibbs' doctors in surgery. The little room felt so empty.

"I'm sorry" McGee muttered from where he sat. Tony looked at him questioningly.

"I should have shot that guy- gone with my gut, something... Then they wouldn't be in there" Tony went and sat next to his friend and teammate.

"Me too, Probie. Me too"

Around the two field agents, life at the hospital went on. Doctors being paged over the intercom, nurses rushing equipment past. Ducky came by once, not offering any assurance; just a look.

The look Ducky gave them only meant one thing.

Something was going horribly wrong.

McGee and Tony looked at each other, then avoided each other's eyes. Neither one could bear to look at the other. The pain and guilt were too obvious.

Director Vance came in at some point, neither agent knew what time or day it was any more. He nodded to the two waiting men and took a seat across the hall.

Still, the hours dragged on. Ducky hadn't been by in quite some time, and come to think of it, neither had anyone else.

"It makes me miss Cate" Tony finally said, his voice hoarse after the hours of silence. Vance had gone to get coffee, leaving only McGee.

"Me too" McGee mumbled, looking down at the floor. Tony instantly felt sorry he had brought it up. The pain of losing a teammate had been hard for McGee, but he hadn't known Cate well enough to really lose her.

Tony had. Losing your coworker and best friend was a hard thing to live with. That's why he hoped that Gibbs and Ziva would make it out all right.

As selfish as it sounded, he could live without Ziva. He couldn't live without Gibbs.