Disclaimer:I do not own One Piece.

Preliminary note: This is set on the thousand sunny. Since I can't assume everyone has read all of the manga and all of the SBS sections (I'm still searching for some!), so here is a link to Oda's diagram of the men's* and women's quarters: (you will need to copy and past into your browser and delete the spaces)

images2. wikia. nocookie. net/_cb20070813084016/onepiece/images/1/1c/Thousand_Sunny_pg. 186-187 . jpg

(the whole ship is diagramed thus, and they are very fun to look at I might add.)

Warning: adult situations.

Mystery Pants

With delicate fingers, Nami traced over the scars on Zoro's naked chest. By know she knew the location of every scar by heart, but the sheer number of them always surprised her. Zoro's fingers came up to lazily stroke the scar on her left shoulder, reminding her of her own battles and her own strength. Smiling, Nami snuggled closer into Zoro's chest and placed a kiss on one of his scars. Times like these were Nami's favorites. As Zoro began to twirl the ends of her long orange hair between his fingers, Nami sighed contently.

Nami closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling as his deft fingers left her hair and began to graze over her lower back. His hand soon traveled even lower and Nami smirked. The man was insatiable! She allowed herself to be pulled back up to him for more kisses and what would surly be the beginning of round two of their love making. While Zoro's tongue found it's way into Nami's mouth, his hands wandered over her breasts making the red-head moan with pleasure. And suddenly the door opened and Nami dove beneath the sheets. Fuck!

"Damn Luffy! Why does he always win everything?" Usopp sulked into the room and collapsed onto the bottom bunk nearest the door.

Zoro was trying his best to look nonchalant and not like someone caught in the act. Beneath the covers, Nami's heart was beating very quickly and though no one could see it ever part of her body was blushing crimson. Zoro's bunk was the top bunk all the way at the back of the room. Two thoughts fought for dominance in Nami's head as she lay in a panic. One: she needed to get her clothes on and get out of that room. And two: at least from their position in the top bunk, they hadn't been spotted yet.

Nami began squirming around in search of her clothing and twisting awkwardly against Zoro's lower abdomen. Her hair fell between his legs making Zoro's breath hitch. Realizing her mistake Nami reached for her hair. Of course her hand had an even bigger effect and caused Zoro to make a strange noise.

Peeking murderously under the covers, Zoro mouthed. "Stop moving damnit!"

Nami shot him an apologetic look and mouthed, "Sorry. Clothes?" A quick nod was all the response Zoro had time for since his noises had caught Usopp's attention.

"Oi, Zoro," Usopp said, finally noticing the other man was in the room. "What are you doing in bed already?"

For one torturous moment, Nami was certain that he was going to say "Nami." Then his body twitched with his repressed laugh and instead he said, "I started feeling a little sick after dinner. It mush have been that shitty cook's shitty cooking."

"You damn Marimo!" Sanji shouted kicking the door open and entering the room. "You wouldn't know good food if you tasted it!"

"Yeah, well I'll let you know about that after there is some good food to taste!" Zoro retorted.

Sanji crossed the room and kicked Zoro's bunk. "Say that to my face asshole!"

As the bunk went swinging side to side, Nami clutched Zoro toghtly around the middle. Damn it! This was not the time to be angering his roommates! She pinched his stupid muscular rear to let him know she didn't think it was funny! Zoro all but yelped in surprise.

"Oi Sanji!" Franky yelled as he bounded into the room. "Don't go breaking my ship." The reply called Sanji off and saved the couple from discovery once more.

Lifting the covers Zoro hissed, "Watch it!"

Nami pursed her lips and whispered, "You watch it! Don't get them to come over here!"

That stupid ass girl was going to be the end of him! Her naked body was still irresistibly pressed against his side and thinking about it made his nether region twitch. Suddenly a fist was in his side and he heard the hushed command, "Focus!"

The cook had been grumbling to Franky something about Zoro starting it, but he seemed to settle down a bit. Sanji crossed the room and climbed into the bunk above Usopp's. Now satisfied that his ship wouldn't get destroyed, Franky collapsed on one of the bottom middle bunks. They all began to settle in for the night. With any luck, they'd be asleep soon.

Zoro chanced a quick glance beneath the covers to peek at Nami. Her arms were wrapped around his waist still and her head was resting on his stomach. It seemed that she was trying to make herself as small as possible. Zoro almost laughed and received a death-glare from Nami. "Clothes! Now!" she mouthed and Zoro again had to suppress his laughter.

Had they really lost track of the time? They were usually pretty good about wrapping up their activities before anybody noticed. But tonight it seemed they had been completely lost to the world. Rummaging around under his pillow, his hand finally found Nami's bra and he passed it to her under the covers. "Aren't you guys turning in a bit early tonight?" Zoro asked annoyed.

Sanji shouted back, "You were the one in bed first! You shitty swordsman!"

Franky's bunk swung as the large cyborg turned over- his large body barely fit in his bed frame. "Oi! How's a guy supposed to sleep with you two bitching at each other?"

The comment made Usopp chuckle slightly, but he was still too busy sulking to really get involved.

Nami's skirt was somewhere around Zoro's left foot. He stretched his leg out and cast about with his toes... there! Using his toes to grip the skirt, he pulled it up and passed it to Nami. She had managed to get the bra on under the covers and now she started struggling with the skirt.

They needed to know if anyone else was coming before they tried to leave. "Who has watch tonight?" Zoro asked gruffly as his hands were busy digging between the mattress and bed frame searching for Nami's shirt.

It was Usopp who answered. "Brook and Chopper."

He located Nami's shirt and slid it down to her. "Where's Luffy then?"

"He's still goofing off," Franky answered with a yawn.

Zoro found his own boxers by his left foot and managed to get his feet into them without too much fuss. He was attempting to kick them up his legs until he could reach them with his hands, but it wasn't going so well. Thankfully, Nami noticed his struggle and helped him slide them up. Zoro mused to himself that this was probably the only time he'd be glad that Nami helped him put boxers on.

Someone was snoring now. Good! The less people awake the less awkward it would be to sneak Nami out. Once they got out of the room, they'd still have to be careful about running into Brook, Chopper, Luffy and possibly Robin as well. Better focus on the task at hand first: clothes.

Shit! No matter how much he searched he couldn't find Nami's panties! She was going to kill him! He chanced a look down at him and he saw her mouth, "Panties!" When he shrugged, she hit him in the gut causing him to let out a groan.

"Oi, Zoro! What the hell is your problem?" Sanji shouted from across the room.

"Shut up! It's all your shitty cooking!" Zoro snapped back.

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE!" Sanji screamed.

Across the room Usopp was panicking. "Sanji if you start flaming all over, your bed will catch fire!"

Zoro looked down to Nami and whispered "Now!" The girl tried to object and insist he find her panties, but Zoro was already moving them out of the bed while his two conscious roommates were distracted. In the commotion, Zoro grabbed Nami and in one swift jump, he had landed on the floor. It only took a second to turn around and hide Nami behind him and then wrap his blanket around them both. This completely covered Nami and his her from view as long as she stayed close to him. It was not uncommon for Zoro to leave the room in this way if he needed to get up and relieve himself, so it wouldn't look too out of the ordinary.

By now Sanji and Usopp were calming down. "Where are you going?" Usopp asked finally noticing Zoro moving past Franky's sleeping form.

Zoro looked at them with a serious expression on his face. "Gotta piss!" He said and gave them a thumbs up.

Both Sanji and Usopp cringed. Good, at least they were ignoring him. A few more steps and Zoro had smuggled Nami out of the room. But it was still too early to celebrate just yet- they still had to sneak past their remaining crewmates. They needed to get someplace where they could take their time and leave separately. Zoro whispered, "I'm going to take us to the bath, so no one sees you under the blanket." He could feel Nami nodding behind him in agreement.

Once they had safely made it to the bath, Zoro breathed a huge sigh of relief and cast off the blanket. He had gotten Nami out of the room and no one noticed! Maybe she wouldn't kill him after all.

"You Idiot!" Nami cried untangling herself from the blanket. "How could you let us stay there so late?"

"I don't remember you saying it was time to go," Zoro said sternly.

"Yeah well you were ready to go again!" Nami accused.

Pulling her to him with a smirk he said in a low dangerous voice, "I'm still ready to go again." He slipped his hands up under her skirt. "Mmm... I think I like this no panty thing."

Nami was turning red and shaking. It made Zoro laugh knowing she was seething with rage and trying not to get turned on by him. Most of their fighting these days was merely playful or for the benefit of the crew. But there were still things that could make her mad at him. So there was only really one way to end this without her still being angry at him.

Zoro spun Nami around so fast that she had to grip the sink to steady herself. And before she knew what was happening, Zoro's hands and mouth were all over her. Nami closed her eyes and moaned in spite of herself, but it felt so good. "Relax, Nami," Zoro was whispering in her ear between nibbles. "We got out and no one saw. Everything is fine." Finally, his words-and hands- did begin to relax her.

When Zoro lifted her skirt and slipped into her, Nami gasped and opened her eyes. Looking up, Nami's eyes locked onto the mirror in front of her. She could see Zoro behind her touching her, kissing her and moving within her. It was almost too much for her to take in. Closing her eyes, she gave into their passion.

Before they went their separate ways for the night Nami looked at Zoro sharply and said, "It is going to cost you 50,000 Beli for the panties, you know!"

"Just put it on my tab." He smirked and kissed her once more before sending her off to bed.


Early the next morning, an uproar broke out in the men's quarters of the Thousand Sunny.

"GYAAH! PANTIES! WHY ARE THERE PANTIES ON MY PILLOW? AHH!" Chopper had returned from the night watch to find Nami's panties laying across his pillow.

Brook came right over looking intrigued. "Excuse me, but did you say Panties?"

Zoro pretended to still be asleep in order to hide his blush. How did her panties manage to go so far? Chopper's bed was the top bunk two over from Zoro's!

"Damn it Franky!" Sanji grumbled annoyed at having been woken up early. "Watch where you throw your damn pants!"

"Oww! Those are not my pants! I've never worn lacy panties like those! My pants are more Suu-PER!" Franky yelled.

"Like hell you haven't you pervert!" Sanji said before the word 'lacy' registered. His personality flipped abruptly, "Did you say 'lacy?' What glorious panties was Chopper lucky enough to find? A delicate gift left on his pillow can only have come from a precious angel!"

Usopp was trying to join the conversation, but as he couldn't quite say the word 'panties' without turning bright red he mostly just watched tongue tied.

And in the background, Luffy was laughing at the ridiculous scene.

The strangest thing was that the panties didn't seem to belong to anyone. Both Robin and Nami later swore that they had never seen the panties before in their lives.

There was a lengthy discussion about what to do with the "Mystery Panties" as Luffy had dubbed them. Zoro said they should just throw them away, but Sanji and Brook insisted that something so valuable must be treated with respect! Usopp blushed furiously when he suggested they be keep as a memento. Chopper was still demanding that they find the pervert that had defiled his pillow while Franky was shouting at Chopper not to disgrace the name of perverts!

In the end, the Mystery Panties were hung on the wall next to the men's six wanted posters.

"It is a place of honor!" both Sanji and Brook maintained.

"So the criminal knows what they did!" resolved Chopper.

"An homage to perverts!" cried Franky.

Usopp could only blush every time he looked at them and Luffy just laughed at the whole ordeal.

Only Zoro had nothing to say about the Mystery Panties on the wall.

Of course the next time Nami entered the room, Zoro heard plenty about those Mystery Panties. After Nami was done ranting, he could only reply that she was free to fight for their removal. But if she did that the men would wonder why she cared so much about those particular panties. With a red face, Nami decided anonymity was better than embarrassment.

In the end, the Mystery Panties were a permanent wall decoration in the men's quarters.

Author's Note: Seriously the plot bunnies are carrying me away! They won't stop pestering me.

* the diagram is pre-Brook joining the crew so I have added one wanted poster (his) so Sanji's shameful poster is still missing. Also, I've had Franky put in another set of bunks since Brook joined, so there are three sets of bunks on the diagram and four sets in this story with one remaining unused. So if you'd like to map out the sleeping arrangements in this story it goes (from the door to the back of the room with the top bunk listed first): 1. Sanji, Usopp 2. Chopper, Brook 3. Luffy, Franky 4. Zoro, mystery bunk.

Hm... I think that is all for now. Thanks for reading! Please review!