AN: Hey, lookit, I can write happy things again! I wouldn't become accustomed to it though. Regardless, this was inspired by this beautiful piece - http: / close-to-blasphemy. tumblr. com / post / 10807437206 which I recommend you reblog if you have a tumblr because it's just that pretty. And sorry, but you're going to have to copy and paste that, plus take all the spaces out.
Dean was getting antsy. He really, really wanted to be with Cas right now, alone, but instead he was sitting on the edge of his bed, glaring at Sam. Sure, Cas was there too, which did make it better, but Sam was just fucking around on his laptop, looking for a case.
Dean cleared his throat obnoxiously. Cas didn't pay any attention, just continued to sit in a chair looking out the window but Sam glanced at him, giant caveman forehead all wrinkled up. Dean tried to signal Sam to leave by jerking his head at the door, but he was tense and it ended up looking like a repressed seizure, and Sam just went back to his laptop. Dean sighed.
This was why he wanted to get separate rooms, but no, they couldn't do that because Sam didn't want to blow through their credit cards any faster than they already do. Not that that should matter, they weren't really theirs anyway, but Sam bitched and Dean conceded.
And that brings them to situations like right now. Dean just wanted some alone time with his possibly-boyfriend angel, and Sam was too thick to get the hint and fuck off. Dean sighed again and dug his phone out of his pocket. 'Go away' he typed quickly, sending it to Sam when he was finished.
Sam's phone chirped and he made his patented confused face before picking his phone up. His eyebrows knitted together and he glanced at Dean but opened the text. Dean knew he'd read it when the confusion turned to bitchface. His fingers flew over the small keyboard and Dean's phone buzzed.
'Why?' the text message read. Dean looked up at Sam, one eyebrow cocked. Then he looked purposefully at Cas and let his lips form a cocky grin. Sam made a disgusted face and closed his laptop. "I need to… Not be here. I'm going to a diner," he said, tossing his laptop in his bag and heading for the door. He stopped, grabbing the keys to the impala. "Don't wait up," he added, slamming the door behind him.
Dean turned his attention to Cas, who was sitting stiffly in the chair, head cocked to the side in a way that Dean refused to call adorable. He licked his lips and smiled at his angel.
"Well…" he said, and Cas turned those giant blue eyes on him. "Sam's gone."
Cas blinked. "Yes, he is."
Dean grinned. Most people would be annoyed at Cas's complete lack of understanding in these situations, but he found it really endearing. "Come here," he said as he scooted back on the bed, propping himself up on the pillows.
When Dean's being honest with himself, which for once, he is, he'd say he absolutely loves the way Cas casually stood and walked over to the bed. He didn't try to act sexy, not that he would know how, and he didn't try to play hard to get, not that he would know how to do that either, but he just did what Dean wanted.
When he reached the bed Dean grabbed his tie and pulled him down, capturing his lips in a slow kiss. Dean spread his legs a little in invitation and Cas nestled his own between them. He held himself up with an arm on either side of Dean's chest, like he was afraid his weight would break the hunter.
Dean slid his arm around Cas's slender torso, rubbing small circles onto the angel's back like he knew he enjoyed. His other hand found the back of Cas's head, fingers threading into the short hair. He tugged gently on the strands and Cas responded by nibbling on Dean's bottom lip.
When they first got together Dean had been surprised at how much he enjoyed kissing the angel. Before, when he'd be with random women he'd accepted it as a necessary part of the process, but he'd never really cared for it all that much.
Until he got with Cas. Cas kissed him like it was the most important thing he'd ever do, and maybe in Cas's mind it was. Even if it was just a soft press of lips there was an intensity that Dean knew should make him feel uneasy but never quite managed to.
Dean easily lost time just making out with Cas like two teenagers whose parents weren't home. He could literally kiss Cas for hours and never get tired of it. The lazy slide of their tongues, the quiet, wet sounds their mouths made when they switched angles or pulled apart for a breath, the nearly choreographed way they inhaled and exhaled, the way Cas always tasted faintly like apple pie, which Dean was convinced was on purpose. Dean loved it. But it wasn't just the kissing that Dean loved He loves Cas. And that's why tonight was so important.
Dean pulled back slowly, smiling at the way Cas followed for a fraction of an inch. "Cas," he whispered. "There's… Something I want you to do."
Cas cocked his head to the side. "What?" he asked, and Dean repressed the shiver that wanted to go through him in response to that growl Cas called a voice. Instead of answering Dean picked up Cas's left hand and placed it over his heart. He could feel the warmth of Cas's palm radiating through his thin t-shirt.
"I want you to touch my soul," he finally said, carefully hiding the fear he felt.
Cas's eyes widened and he pulled back a little. "Dean… Why?"
Dean shrugged, trying to make it seem like it was no big deal. "I want you to see it."
Cas furrowed his brow. "I held your soul when I raised you from perdition."
Dean smiled and stroked Cas's cheek with his thumb. "I think a few things have changed since then."
Cas looked down at his hunter's beautiful face, searching. He could see how earnest he was, how much he wanted Cas to do this, but he could also see the hidden fear. "It's going to hurt. It will be almost unbearable," he warned.
Dean worried his lip between his teeth, but it was obvious he had already made his decision. "I know it will. But I want to do this," he said, pulling Cas's face down for a soft kiss. He squirmed a little beneath Cas and gripped his bicep tightly, pulling on it a little to tell Cas to get the show on the road.
"Brace yourself," Cas said, and pushed.
The angel hadn't been exaggerating. Dean's entire body went rigid, his fingers dug into Cas's arm painfully and he gritted his teeth to keep in the scream of pain bubbling up his throat. There was a bright light emanating from his chest and he shut his eyes against it.
Cas grimaced but kept pushing, stretching more with his grace than with his fingers until he felt it, Dean's soul. He brushed against it and his eyelids fluttered shut as he grasped it carefully.
The first thing he felt was fear, but that faded within seconds. Next was pain, but it wasn't from his intrusion, it was a deep seated pain that Cas knew he would never be able to extinguish. He pushed past it, knowing that was not what he was here for.
That's when he reached what he knew Dean had wanted him to see.
It was love. More love than Castiel was fully able to comprehend. It swallowed him whole, encompassed his grace, his body, everything he was until there was nothing left but Dean, Dean, Dean, and it was like Cas would never be able to resurface, he was drowning in Dean and it was the most pleasant way to die.
But then a groan of pain ripped from Dean's throat and he fell back to reality, pulling his hand away from Dean. He focused on the man underneath him, gasping for breath he didn't know he needed. Dean was covered in a fine layer of sweat and he was also struggling to catch his breath.
The two men stared at each other and several minutes passed in silence. Finally Dean licked his lips. "Did you feel it?" he asked. Cas nodded, slightly awestruck. "That's how you make me feel, Cas. Every second you're with me, and every second we're apart. I wanted you to see it for yourself 'cause I'm not so good with words."
Cas looked at Dean for a moment with naked bliss, but then bowed his head with a small frown.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Dean asked worriedly, tilting Cas's head up with a finger under his chin.
Cas looked at him sadly. "I wish you could touch my grace, but humans cannot," he said softly.
Dean knitted his eyebrows together. "Why? I mean, why do you want me to touch your grace?"
Cas cupped his cheek and slid his thumb across his pouty lower lip. "Because if you could, you would find the exact same things inside me that I found inside you."
Dean felt his heart swell and a big grin broke out across his face. He felt like a little girl but he did not give a single damn. "Really?" he asked.
Cas nodded. "Really," he confirmed, leaning in to kiss Dean tenderly.
Three hours later Sam finally drove the impala back to the motel. He parked in front of their room and cautiously went to the door. He pressed his ear against it and heard silence, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He hated having to sleep in the impala.
He opened the door to the room and was surprised to find the light still on. His eyes immediately fell on the most adorable yet disgusting thing he's ever seen in his life.
Dean was sleeping sprawled on his back on the bed, fully clothed. Cas was snoozing on top of him, ear pressed to Dean's chest, right above his heart like he'd been listening to his heart beat, and maybe he had. Dean had one arm slung possessively over Cas's back, the other lying bent, hand on the pillow next to his head, fingers tangled in Cas's.
The thing that made Sam smile, though, was the tiny, almost imperceptible smile and look of peace on his brother's face.