A/N Thank you so much for the reviews! The response was amazing and I'm glad everyone is enjoying it so much. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint.
The only thing in the reviews that was something specific to respond to was LA suka's review about the amount of time Dean spent in hell: In the show he spent 30 years in hell before he said yes to Alastair and then he did the torturing for another 10 before Cas pulled him out. In mine he lasted 30 years, did one day of torturing others then went back to the rack for the last 10. Thanks for the review.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to Supernatural, i'm just a hopeless fangirl so please don't sue :)
Dean had been quiet and unmoving for half an hour when Castiel decided he could finally leave, knowing he still owed an explanation to the man waiting outside, though he knew he had a limited amount of information he could share with people other than Dean.
He flew to the kitchen where he knew Robert Singer now resided and watched stoically as the man jumped from his place at the small dining table to stand; leaning against the counter as his hands nervously gripped his coffee cup tight enough to turn his fingers white.
"Where's Dean?" The older man asked, eying the angel warily when he stepped forward.
"Asleep. Though I anticipate not for very long." Castiel stood awkwardly at the table, looking uninterestedly around the tiny kitchen as if to familiarise himself with the house without actually caring what he was looking at.
"Ahuh and why is that? And why is he sleepin in the first place? Ain't he had enough of being unconscious from being dead for four months?"
Cas tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowing in an expression of confusion and faint annoyance. "Hell is not a restful place. He was thrown back into his body after I raised him from perdition and simultaneously had to go through a massive healing process. The experience would be tiring for the strongest of beings."
Bobby relaxed slightly, remembering what the angel had shown him and knowing he should trust him. He stepped forward walked out of the kitchen into his living room to take a seat at his paper and book covered desk, setting his coffee down after clearing a space.
"Well Angel-boy if it's so traumatic why do ya seem to think he won't be out for long?" He watched as the creature wandered through the room, occasionally picking up a book and flipping through some pages before placing it down again and moving to inspect the next surface, now a glimmer of genuine curiosity in his eyes.
"Because from what I have observed of humans from the past millennia when you sleep your mind projects images and false events. When one of you has been through something traumatic those… dreams as you call them turn sour, angry."
Bobby looked at him like he was crazy for a minute and shook his head as if to clear it. "So basically he's gonna have nightmares. Couldn't ya have just said that then Shakespeare?"
"You misunderstand. I am an angel of the Lord, not one of your poets."
Bobby rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his coffee. "It was an expression genius." He moved back to the kitchen to place the empty mug into the sink. "So I guess that means he remembers what happened in hell? I mean before, that wasn't exactly the Dean I know. What in the hell happened to him?"
Cas finally stopped looking around and again focussed his eyes on the man, confused as to why he was asking what had happened to Dean when in the same sentence he had practically answered himself.
"It is as you say; hell happened. Dean was cast into one of the deepest pits of hell and was under the… supervision of one of hells most cruel demons, his name is Alastair. Dean was hell's most wanted long before he was condemned to end up there so only the most torturous of methods were used on him." The angel watched as Bobby's face became ashen and he flinched and winced the more he spoke.
Castiel felt a faint feeling of sympathy, something he had never felt before but couldn't help but think the man really still had no idea. He didn't see what was happening to Dean in the pit, he couldn't possibly understand the horror that hell and its demons could unleash. He suddenly felt an unexplainable urge to go and check on Dean, make sure he was still slumbering peacefully. Instead he let a tendril of his grace extend into the bedroom the man lay in, feeling the aura of the room and its inhabitant. When he was convinced all was well, or as well as it could be, he returned his attention to the conversation at hand.
"Dean will be, different for a while, for exactly how long it is impossible to know as is the extent of the damage that has been done of him. So far I have determined he has close to no recollection of who you are or what you were to him."
Bobby's face went slack in shock. "What? How? After four months? How could that boy possibly forget me after four months?"
Castiel turned away from him and pursed his lips, not looking forward to explaining this part to the already distraught man. "Because, for Dean it hasn't only been four months. Time passed very differently in hell. It passes to the effect of 120 times faster. In Dean's time he was in the pit for 40 years."
The hunter fell into his desk chair once again, mouth hanging open, eyes wide. Castiel looked away from him, becoming uncomfortable as he saw fluid build in Bobby's eyes indicating the eventuality of tears.
"Perhaps I should go, give you time to adjust to what I have told you."
Bobby just nodded silently but just as the angel spread his wings to take flight he heard the man mutter under his breath and stayed his leave.
"I gotta call Sam."
Bobby barely registered that Castiel was still in the room after he had said he was leaving as he picked up the phone. He did register the angel's presence when he was suddenly looming over him; hand firmly over his own on the phone, holding it away from his ear before taking it out of his hand and setting it back on the table.
"I don't think that is a good idea."
"Oh? And why is that?"
"Dean is fragile, I am not certain it would benefit him to have another presence. Also Samuel is… otherwise disposed and I'm not sure the possible outcome of Dean not recognising his brother either is one that would help this situation."
Bobby glared at the angel and jerked away from him. "No ya idjit! How do ya think Sam is gonna feel when he finds out his brother has been alive for any amount of time without him knowing? And if there's a chance of Dean recognising anyone it'll be that boy."
Castiel shifted his eyes to the ground knowing that the man was right but at the same time not wanting Sam's… questionable influence near Dean while he was in such a condition. But he knew it wasn't his place to argue anymore so he removed his hand from the phone and slid it towards the hunter.
"Fine. Do what you believe is best. I just hope you're right." He gave Bobby one last, hard stare before he spread his wings and flew out of the room, knowing he had been gone from heaven for too long and he would have questions awaiting him from his brothers.
He just hoped he would make it back before Dean awoke.
"You're treading on dangerous ground Castiel and you know it as well as I and the rest of us do."
Castiel's eyes were cast down in what was supposed to be shame and repentance but inside he could not muster up those feelings, though he knew in the eyes of his kind he had done wrong.
Suddenly, in the middle of Zacharias' reprimand a yell filled his head and his grace screamed at him to return to Earth, more particularly, to Dean. His entire being was filling with a myriad of emotions that weren't his own but were as familiar to him as if they were.
He hesitated as his brother kept talking but when Dean's straggled voice screamed out to him he turned without a glance backwards and swooped to Earth, ignoring the angered yells that followed him as he fell.
He landed directly in the bedroom he had left Dean in and became immediately incensed at the scene before him.
Dean was before his eyes on the far side of the room, shoved into a corner. His eyes were wild and terrified, whole body pressed into the wall as if he was trying to disappear through it to escape.
When he turned he saw Sam and Bobby at the door. Bobby was restraining the youngest man's arms and hands, one of which had a silver knife clenched in its fingers as he tried to escape Bobby's hold to lunge at Dean's petrified form.
The angel moved quickly to them and pressed his fingers to Sam's forehead for a second in the same way he had hours ago with Bobby Singer and he watched as realisation, relief, joy, confusion and regret flickered in his eyes in seconds before he began struggling again, this time trying to get to his brother who was still cowering away from him.
"Samuel!" Castiel's voice didn't rise in volume but it was even deeper than before, escaping through his lips at an almost growl. "Leave the room. Now!"
He struggled as Bobby pulled him from the room, the older man babbling at him in an attempt to calm the young hunter before he made everything worse.
In that moment Castiel cursed himself for letting Bobby call Dean's brother at all, he knew it would have been a bad idea.
He breathing deeply to calm himself and finally let his eyes come to rest on Dean once again, seeing the others man's eyes were now clenched tightly shut. The angel stepped forward and outstretched his arm in a gesture of peace, not sure if the trust and comfort Dean had shown in him before would still apply now, especially after he had promised the other man he wouldn't leave. Dean's eyes opened and looked up at him imploringly.
"Cas," the hunter's voice was quiet, insecure but now much healthier sounding than before.
"Dean I-" He didn't get to finish his sentence when suddenly the hunter practically flew towards him and his body slammed into his.
Dean wrapped his arms around the angel's neck and pressed his face into his shoulder, quaking body steadying at the already familiar trench coat and scent of pure air and ginger that exuded from his angel. His breathing evened and his fear suddenly dissipated as the tan covered arms slowly, unsurely, came up to encase his waist and Cas' voice sounded soothingly in his ear.
"Dean," Castiel was unsure how to proceed, having never been part of a hug before. It felt nice to have Dean's arms around him and eventually he brought his up to Dean's too thin waist, letting a sliver of his grace out in a calming wave to quiet the man. "Be calm. I am sorry I had to depart. It was urgent and I was hoping to be back before you had woken."
Dean didn't say a word but pressed himself tighter to the angel, letting his body relax and calm even more before finally pulling away and shuffling backwards.
Cas reached out a hand and lay it on Dean's covered shoulder, intentionally laying it over exactly where he knew his mark lay under Dean's clothes. The man shuddered and his eyes flickered up to once again connect with Castiel's.
"Dean, do you remember your brother? The one who was just in here with Bobby?"
He waited in tense silence, partly hoping the answer would be yes so they could make some progress, partly hoping for the opposite because Sam had always been a great source of conflict Dean and Cas did not want any hardship to come to the man that seconds ago had been safe in his arms.
He pulled his hand away from his shoulder as that thought came to him, once again confused at the possession he felt towards the man in front of him and torn on what to do about it when it felt so right and wrong at the same time.
He was lost in thought but was so concentrated on Dean that he caught the tiny nod that the man sent in his direction, nor did he miss the shuffled step Dean took towards him, as if he already missed the physical contact they had shared.
"I-" He stopped, cleared his throat and tried again. "I remember… Sammy. I have to protect him but- … He's my b-brother?"
Castiel nodded at him and frowned, not knowing how far he could take his questioning before it would upset Dean. "You don't remember having a brother?"
Dean's eyes lowered again and his posture seemed to crumble. His voice hitched and cracked when next he spoke. "I don't remember having anyone."
Castiel felt an unfamiliar sensation rise within him at that, like the air in his lungs suddenly abandoned him and instead balled in his throat and stomach. Not being able to resist the foreign but not entirely unwelcome feelings inside Cas once again grabbed onto Deans shoulders, pleased when the man yet again did not flinch away from him and pulled him back into him, this time letting his wings outstretch and fold around both of them, cocooning Dean in physical and angelic warmth.
For the first time he could ever remember Cas felt his lips turn upwards into a full smile when Dean sighed into his trench coat and spoke words that made the angel happier than he thought he had a right to be, but yet sad all at the same time.
"I only have you."
Yes, you have me Dean Winchester.
A/N Sooo, what didja think? Please review cos I'm feeling good and bad about this story all at once. The end result I like but it's being so difficult to actually right I need to know if people are enjoying or not to know if it's worth continuing.
Plus I really have no clue if I'm going in the right direction or at the right speed with their progressing relationship. Obviously, like I've said before this will be slash but I dunno if I'm making the way they are both acting believable so please tell me what you think about that.
So please review!
Thanks for reading,