This bit of shameless smut was inspired by the astounding wonder that was Darren Criss' arse in those tracksuit bottoms during I Am Unicorn. You know what I'm talking about.
Also, for some mad reason, I'm a bit obsessed with Kurt topping Blaine. Just go with it.

Chuck some reviews at me.

And I don't own Glee. And I don't know why.

After Booty Camp

Those damn track pants had been driving me crazy throughout all of Booty Camp. I didn't mean to leer, but... mother of God, Blaine's ass looked outstanding. Those track pants he was wearing were so baggy, but at the same time they somehow managed to cling to his ass, sculpting it perfectly without being too vulgar. I almost wanted to applaud, it was so wonderful. All I could think was... how? How is his ass so perfect? How is an ass so perfect even legal? Surely Blaine should come with some kind of health warning.

Warning: this guy includes beautiful eyes, a winning smile, a dreamy singing voice and an ass that won't quit which some viewers may find arousing. May cause lose of coherent or clean thoughts and the ruining of underwear. Proceed with caution.

It wasn't helped when we actually started dancing. Okay, so we were talking about the West Side Story auditions – he was being so sweet about it – and Mr. Schue kept on yelling at me about my jazz hands, but... good grief, that ass was distracting. I couldn't help but surreptitiously move a little behind him so I could stare while still following the dance steps. He really was an excellent dancer though. Even though he said that he wanted to join in so he could catch up with the rest of us, I knew he didn't need it and he was only here so we could spend even more time together. Or maybe he was just here to torture me in those devilish track pants. Either way, I was happy.

Once Booty Camp was over, me and Blaine stayed behind in the empty choir room. He bent down to put his bottle of water back in his bag, and I felt like such a lecherous old perv for ogling him. But... ugh, wow. As Santana would say, just... wanky.

"If you're quite finished staring..."

My mind had wondered into very unspeakable place, so I hadn't noticed that he was now looking at me questioningly.

"Don't think I haven't noticed that you've been gawking at me for the duration of this class," he said with a smirk.

"I hadn't realised I'd been so obvious," I said with an awkward giggle.

He was still smirking at me, which was distractingly hot.

"Anything you want to share with me?"

I couldn't even be bothered to lie about it and be all sweet and polite. I was way too turned on.

"Those track pants you're wearing deserve some kind of award."

He looked at me, clearly baffled. "Erm... why?"

"They make your ass look fantastic. Not that your tush doesn't always look great, but those pants are just making me want to jump on you."

Blaine laughed, his cheeks going a little red.

"Wow," he said, his eyebrows raised. "That was surprisingly... to the point. I though you didn't like track pants? You said it was like wearing pyjamas in public."

"Oh, that's still true," I said. "But it doesn't apply to those pants. Those pants are magical. If we weren't at school right now those pants would already be on the floor."

Blaine laughed again, staring at me in shock. I was surprising myself with my level of honesty, but I guess being so horny had cut off my brain-to-mouth filter. I couldn't think about anything other than how frigging sexy he looked. All the blood that usually helped make my brain work properly had rushed directly to my cock. I went to sit down on a chair, taking him by the hand to pull him with me so he ended up straddling my lap. He was blushing quite adorably.

"What if someone walks in and sees us like this?" he said with a nervous smile.

Rather than answer – as I say, my brain wasn't really working – a pulled him into a hard kiss, making him do a precious little squeak as I pushed my tongue into his mouth and grabbed his perfect ass at the same time. When we separated his face was even more flushed.

"What's gotten into you, Kurt?" he asked breathlessly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. But I can think of one thing I'd love to get into you."

He giggled as I squeezed his ass again, clearly not taking my horniness that seriously. I took his hand and made him slide it down my chest, eventually resting on the bulge in my pants. He gasped, clearly taken aback by my directness.

"Isn't there, erm...?" He gulped and took a deep breath. "Isn't there somewhere more... more private we can go?"

I looked around the room, still holding his hand against my crotch.

"There might be some space in that store room where they keep the instruments," I said.

He grinned. "Awesome."

He got off me and we both stood up, and I quickly got a little bottle and a packet out of my bag.

"You brought condoms and lube with you to school?" he said incredulously.

I looked at him and smirked. "Of course I did. Just in case you decided to tease me in a pair of ungodly track pants and I was forced to fuck your brains out purely for my own mental health. Obviously."

He laughed as I took his hand and dragged him over to the store room. I switched on the little light bulb and saw that there was just enough space in there for the both of us amongst all the instruments and sheet music stands. I pulled Blaine inside with me, shut the door and pinned him against the wall, crashing our lips together and plundering his mouth with my tongue. He whimpered, kissing me feverishly, and I could feel his erection rubbing against my thigh. I shifted us to I could palm his hard on through his pants, and I got a little surprise when I slipped my hand under his waistband. I broke our kiss and stared at him.

"You're not wearing any underwear."

"No," he said with a mischievous grin. "No, I'm not."

"It's like you're actually trying to kill me."

I wrapped my hand around his cock and started to stroke him quickly, making him moan loudly and throw his head back. I bit and sucked on that sensitive spot just below his ear as I rubbed his cock faster and faster. Just as he was falling apart completely I turned him around so he was facing the wall, making him gasp.

"You are such a fucking tease, Blaine Anderson," I whispered into his ear, making him shiver.

I pulled down those magical track pants so they were around his ankles and squirted some lube on my fingers, setting the bottle down on a nearby keyboard. He hissed in pain as I slowly pushed a finger inside his opening, and I kissed the back of his neck until he relaxed and I was able to slip a second finger in, pushing them in and out with increasing speed. The high, needy whimpers he was making were absolutely delicious.

"Who does this perfect ass belong to, Blaine?" I purred.

"Y-you," he stuttered.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that. Who does it belong to?"


"Who does this ass belong to?"

"You! Kurt Hummel!"

I chuckled as I fingered him even faster, adding another finger and curling them to touch his prostate, making him cry out.

"That's right," I said. "This ridiculously, almost offensively perfect ass is all mine. And no one can make you scream like I can. Isn't that right, baby?"

"Oh yeah," he gasped, resting his forehead against the wall. "No one else... never anyone else... only you... I'm all yours..."

He whined in disappointment when I removed my fingers so I could pull down my own pants, slip on a condom and slick myself up with some more lube. I held onto his hips and very slowly pushed my cock inside his tight, hot ass, not stopping until I was all the way inside him. I held him for a second, the both of us breathing heavily as I tried with all my might not to just blow my load straight away. He was so tight.

Finally we started to move, slowly at first, but soon he started whimpering and pushing back against me, purposely squeezing his walls around my shaft until I had to just fuck him senseless. I held onto his hips tightly, pounding into him and reaching around to stroke his leaking cock in time with my thrusts. He was moaning so loud that I wouldn't have been surprised if the whole school could hear, and I bit and sucked on his neck just to stop myself from screaming too.

"Oh God, Kurt... don't stop... don't... ever... stop... so good... fuck me... oh, Kurt... fuck me... ahhhh... fuck me!"

I slammed into him even harder and faster, so close to the edge that I felt like I'd go insane if I didn't come soon. After a few more hard thrusts he was finally coming into my hand, screaming my name, and about a second later I was coming too, so hard I was seeing stars, thrusting erratically into him until I was completely spent.

We stood against each other for a while as we tried to get our breath back, before we eventually separated and cleaned ourselves up with the pack of tissues that was in my pocket. Once we'd made ourselves look presentable again we stepped out of storeroom.

"I can't believe we just did that," Blaine giggled. "In the choir room... at school."

I chuckled, holding him around the waist and kissing him softly on the lips. Just then we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

"Sorry, didn't mean to, erm... disturb you guys."

I turned my head and looked disdainfully at Finn, still holding Blaine by the waist.

"No problem," I said. "It's not like we were doing anything important, so..."

Finn looked suspiciously at the two of us. "What were you guys doing in the storeroom?"

Blaine blushed and started giggling against my shoulder.

"Nothing," I said with mock outrage. "God, Finn, get your mind out of the gutter!"

I took Blaine's hand – he was still giggling like a schoolgirl – and lead him out of the room, leaving Finn to stand there looking awkward.

Hope you enjoyed the filth, Humble Readers.