Seven books in Seven Chapters

This is a summary/ parody Harry Potter thingy. You decide which one.

Oh, yeah. I don't own Harry Potter. Once I did... then I woke up.

"Hi Harry. I'm Hagrid and yer a wizard."

"I'm a wizard? Get me away from here, then."

"Well, what yeh've got ter understand about it is tha' an evil guy whose name nobody will tell yeh killed yer parents and then yeh accidentally killed him. So now yer famous."

"Er… Right."

"I'm Harry and now I'm friends with Ron. Hogwarts is totally awesome!"

"Merlin, Harry, it's a three-headed dog!"

"Let's go save a rock from an evil guy, then!"

"No, we have to fight a troll first."

—One troll fight later—

"Now I'll save the rock from the evil guy!"

"Yes, I think the evil guy is Snape."

"No, it's Qu—"


"Hi Harry. I'm Dumbledore and I give you a bunch of important information in your sixth year. Then I die. Anyway, I destroyed the rock you saved from the evil guy."

Yeah. It's really weird and random and short, but I posted it because... um... er... Well, because I felt like it. And because I could. If you hated it, well, whatever. If you liked it, then have fun reading the rest when I post it ;) :P