Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Twilight universe.

Wow! It's been a long time since I typed those words. But anyway….

Welcome back Groupies! I can't tell you how much I've missed you. Just for a reference point, this will pick up right after Epilogue 2 of Revamped. Not going to tell you much about what's in store but I will tell you there is no Sebastian or violence or anything like that.

So have fun and I'll see you at the bottom.

Chapter 1- Visitors


"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there…."

"Shut up!"


"Paul! Enough!"

I laughed to myself as at least three familiar voices yelled at the thirteen year old carbon copy of his father. Truly, he couldn't be more like him if he tried from everything I knew.

"What? What is it?" Alice asked me, with a very amused expression on her face. She might not have known exactly "what" was happening but it didn't take much to figure out "who" I was chuckling at.

"Oh, nothing. Just a very excited and very annoying teenager bothering the shit out of his family," I said as a distinct "whack" registered in the mind of said teenager.

"They're close enough for you to hear?"

"Yep. Less than two minutes out."

I watched as my sister simultaneously squealed, bounced, grabbed the handle of the car door and flung it out with much more force than was actually necessary.

"Hey! Watch it, Ali. Don't mess up my baby."

"As if," she snorted as she walked to the front of the car and leaned against the hood, earning another glare from me. "You are nearly as possessive over this car as you are your wife." Before I could even begin to respond to that little insult, my sister interrupted me with a wave of her hand and asked "She still doesn't have any idea?"

"Well, you would know better than I, oh Great One. You tell me. And just for the record, I am more possessive of my wife than I will ever be of a car, thank you very much."

"No, she doesn't," she answered, choosing to ignore my statement. "Jesus, I can't wait," she said just as a large bus rounded the corner and came into view. It was a very non-descript gray with a faded red and blue logo of a commercial bus line painted on both sides. The windows were all tinted a dark color and it had enough dust covering it to nearly eradicate any visible tags. Only the satellite dish that was mounted to the rear of the bus gave away that it might be something more than the economy mode of transportation that the bus company advertised.

Slower than the average tortoise, the bus made its way down the main street of the town closest to our newest location. It was the main street Razorback Montana to be exact. The tiny blip of a town consisted of exactly eleven buildings. A post office, a city building, a restaurant, a tavern and a handful of shops lined each side of the road. And really, how many businesses were required for a town with a population of less than fifteen hundred people? The single traffic light in the town was basically useless considering that I had never once seen more than four vehicles on this street at one time in the five years we had been living here.

Our family was split nearly evenly between being completely enraptured with the speck of a town and being absolutely bored to tears with it. My wife and my mother fell into the first category, hence my own fondness for it. Anything that made the two of them as happy as this remote place did was a winner in my book. It was actually my wife that had found our home here. Several years earlier, we had all been living outside of Vancouver. My idiot brother had challenged her to a footrace after a bet they had made on a track and field event (and really, who besides the two of them would even think to bet over the gender of the participants in a women's event? So imagine how upset Emmett had been when Bella had been correct in her assertion that the winner was in fact a man!). They had run from Vancouver to Montana before either of them would admit that they were pretty evenly matched in terms of speed and that they both had infinite stamina, therefore rendering the race ridiculous and unnecessary. But she had run straight into the grounds that surrounded the property and instantly fallen in love. Before any of us knew that the town of Razorback, Montana existed, she had bought the property, claiming "fate" had led her to the house.

And I had to give it to her, our home here was truly magnificent. It was by no means the most extravagant of our houses but it was truly unique for us. The main house had, at one time long ago, been an inn. "A country escape" as she explained to me when she told me about it. What made this home special was that it had eight master suites, each complete with its own bathroom and a family room that was roughly the size of our entire home in Forks. The two story stone fire place that was large enough for Emmett to stand up in had offered us many nights of quiet conversations, obnoxiously loud arguments and a general sense of just being content with each other's company.

Now add to that the eight cottages that surrounded the main house, the extremely large garage we had built and the three thousand acres of land that surrounded it and it was nearly the perfect place for us. It was completely isolated and completely self contained. The few people from the town that had been curious about us when we first arrived all believed that we had created some sort of "New Age" health spa or something like that…you know, commune with nature, meditate, or whatever else makes you feel good. So they deemed us weirdoes and nut jobs from the very beginning and left us alone.

As the bus inched closer and closer to us, my own excitement grew. Not only at the prospect of seeing my wife's reaction to the surprise of the new arrivals but also at seeing the people that I had also missed dearly.

"He is still an absolute fool," my sister cackled as she pointed to the bus, now only three hundred yards away.

"You expected anything else?" I asked as I followed her finger and looked into the window of the approaching bus.

And came face to face, so to speak, with a bare ass pressed against the window.

"Idiot," I snorted as said ass began to wiggle in time with the music playing inside the bus.

The next moment, a slightly smaller but no less naked, second ass pressed against the window side by side with the first.

"Lord, help us, there are two of them now," I said as I watched a small delicate hand smack both butts from behind them. The grin on my face could not have been any wider at that point.

The bus rolled to a stop ten feet from us and the door opened with a very audible creak.

"Eddie!" the deep gravely voice that could only belong to JP shouted toward me as he stepped out of the bus, classic smirk in place and still clutching the front of his unbuttoned pants

"Asshole!" I returned equally as loudly as I opened my arms to him. This wasn't the typical "guy" hug at all. It never was with JP. It was full on contact and slaps on the back, both of us smiling like morons.

I stepped back just enough to get a good look at him. The dreadlocks were long gone, replaced with straight brown hair that fell to just below his shoulders. The only facial piercings that he still wore were three bars through his left eyebrow, each topped with a different colored stone. I knew, without asking, that they represented the birthstones of each of his children. There were laugh lines around his eyes and mouth that crinkled when he smiled and I could see the strands of gray mixed into his hair. But he still had a wicked twinkle in his eye and a loud laugh for me.

Not only did he look really good for a man about to turn fifty, he'd actually never looked better. He was healthy and happy and most importantly, in a very good place in his life.

"Damn! You look good for an old man," I teased.

"Oh, fuck you buddy! How old are you now?" he whispered as he leaned in toward me. "Actually, it's a lil creepy lookin' at you. You still look like the same little punk ass I met in Atlanta."

"Ignore him, Edward," Heidi laughed as she stepped from the bus and wound her arms around my waist. "He's just jealous." I hugged her back carefully, all the while snickering at JP and his mock glare. "He'd give anything to still look like he used to."

"So not true, wench," he said as he kissed her on the temple.

"How have you managed it?" I asked as I looked down at her, my arm still around her shoulder. "He used to eat like a horse and gave no thought at all to what he put in his body. It's actually a miracle he's been around this long come to think of it."

"Well, he still eats like he's got a tapeworm; I just make sure that now and then he eats something that's actually good for him. And running around after our brood doesn't hurt," she said as she glanced over her shoulder into the bus to check on said brood.

"Now that is quite a feat and very true," Alice laughed as she hugged JP. "How you doing wild man?"

"Ali! How's my girl?"

The four of us stood there and greeted each other for just a few minutes. It hadn't been that long since we'd last seen them. It was just under three months since the ceremony at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony and we'd spent some time with everyone later on that night. But it had been a very long time since we'd gotten to spend more than a couple of hours with any of them. And standing here, away from the crowds, it was like no time at all had passed since we'd all been family.

"Where's Chip?" Alice asked Heidi as the both looked toward the bus as a crash sounded from inside."

"No worries, Ma," Paul shouted, earning a chuckle from all four of us.

"He's sleeping," she said as she craned her neck to see if anyone or anything was damaged in the crash from inside. "He's in the back room. We figured since we still had a little over an hour left on the drive, we'd let him sleep. This crew wears him slam out," she said as she faced us again, a beautiful smile on her face.

"I'll bet it does," I quipped. "Speaking of this crew, how much do they…"

"Well," JP interrupted, already seeing where I was going. "When the rest of the band gets here in a couple of days, obviously they know everything. But none of the kiddos do. They just know who you guys are, that she used to play with us and that you guys send the most rockin' presents at birthdays and Christmas. Oh, and that we all love you," he snickered. "But they actually don't know about the…" he trailed off, only to make an asinine gesture of fangs.

"Fool!" I laughed loudly as I swatted his hand away. "That's probably the best way to keep it," I finished quietly as I spied Paul trying to listen in on the conversation.

"Speaking of…where is Bitch?" he asked with an evil grin. I couldn't help but laugh again. Some things truly never would change.

"She's at home. She still doesn't know anything about any of this," I said with a rather wicked smirk of my own.

"Oh, fucking excellent! Well, damn, let's get this little party on the road shall we."

"Sounds good," Alice and I said at the same time.

"Nice fucking ride there," he said appreciatively as he eyed my pride and joy. Although, personally, I didn't think that "nice ride" quite did justice to the 2010 BMW 6 series convertible, fully restored and show room perfect. I couldn't help it, I grinned as I thought about the look on Bella's face when she'd given it to me as an anniversary present.

I looked at JP to tell him to follow us, but the words died in my throat as I saw the look on his face. It was pure excitement and anticipation. Probably, very similar to the look on my own face. I cut my eyes to Alice, who immediately picked up on what I was thinking and nodded in approval.

"Want to ride with us?" I asked JP.

"Hell, no. I wanna drive that fucker," he said with a bark.

"Sure, just don't kill us," I said with a wink as I fished the keys from my pocket.

"Mom! Can I please?" he said as he looked at Heidi, who burst out laughing at the innocent expression on his face.

"Edward? You sure you know what you're saying 'yes' to?" she asked me, already walking backward toward the open door of the bus.

"I'm sure. We'll take our chances with him."

"Okay," she said in a very stern motherly tone looking at him as if her were fifteen instead of fifty. "Behave and play nice."

Only five minutes later, we were on the way back to the compound, as Emmett called it, with the large bus in the rearview mirror. JP was grinning madly as he drove and I was nearly vibrating with excitement as I sat next to him. Alice was in the back seat; quietly humming what I thought was actually an EverClear song under her breath. I reached for my phone and pushed the speed dial button for my wife, making a gesture toward JP for him to be quiet.

"Yeah?" her beautiful voice said distractedly through the phone.

My shoulders shook as I tried to keep my own laugh in. I could hear the tinkling of the piano quietly in the background.

"Hey, gorgeous," I said as Alice and JP both snickered. Okay, yeah, so I couldn't help myself. Every time I heard her voice, it tuned me into a blithering idiot.

"Hey sexy," she said, still sounding distracted.

"Where are you?" I asked, already having an idea.

"The studio."

"The studio," Alice said with a roll of her eyes from behind me. JP's eyebrows shot up at the mention of the word.

"You guys on the way home?" she asked sweetly.

"Yeah, we'll be there in an hour or so. When did you and Jasper get back?"

"About two hours ago," she huffed. "He didn't even seem that thirsty. I don't know why in hell we had to go out last night."

Alice and I both laughed at her impatience. She would never say no to a request from any of our family to go hunting with them but particularly not one from Jasper. They two of them had grown as close and Alice and I had always been over the years. We had asked him to take her out not only as a precaution for the visitors that we had coming but also so that we could firm up the plans for their arrival. Apparently, it still hadn't registered with her that today was her birthday and that maybe that had something to do with getting her out of the house.

"Well, I'm sure he appreciated it," I said slightly patronizingly. "You need anything while we're in town?"

"Ha! Town! Right," she giggled. "That's classic baby, really. Oh! I know. Bring me a milkshake," she snickered.

"Very funny love, very funny. Okay baby, we'll see you when we get home. I love you."

"Uh huh, love you too," she said as she disconnected, the piano keys already playing again in the background.

"Aww," JP said in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Baby, that's so fucking cute I think I'm gonna hurl."

"I love fucking with your wife," Alice said gleefully as she leaned in between the seats. "She is going to flip when she see what we've brought her from town."

"This is just too classic, Eddie." JP said, looking very much relieved to not have to be quiet anymore. "I can't believe that we've managed to pull this off without her knowing."

"I know," I said as I looked down at his foot, almost willing him to step on the gas. I was beyond eager to get back home and see the look on her face.

Chapter Notes: So what do you think? I know it's not much to go on yet but I still want to hear what you guys have to say about the return of my favorite musician.

Posting will be once a week with maybe a couple of bonus chapters thrown in. There are a couple of surprises that I may not be able to hold out from giving you guys early.

Also, how about a little interactive fan fiction? If you remember, Jane and Felix have 5 sons. And I need to come up with some names for them. I'm not very versed in male names, so help me out with some suggestions please.

See ya very soon!