Fic: Push

Rating: R

Spoilers: None in the fic…but episode 5 spoilers if you read between the lines of the A/N.

Summary: Set start of season three. Or there abouts. State of Sex in the Kurt/Blaine relationship, basically.

A/N: I wrote this way back in May and didn't ever post it because it was meant to turn into full on smutty first-time shenanigans and didn't because I write first times like there's no tomorrow. So I forgot about it and then opened it today and the foreshadowing…goodness. So this has turned itself into the first part of an untitled series which already has this, then Hold, then Good Morning. And will have other bits and pieces, I suspect between now and November. It's a bit thinky, I think. And a bit Blainy. And potentially not everyone's opinion. But there you go…

Blaine is an awesome boyfriend. Even if he does say so himself. Months of being a less than perfect friend – hindsight making him cringe constantly at the things he'd done to Kurt – have made him determined to be the perfect boyfriend.

And so far he is damned pleased with his efforts and the near constant happiness that seems to float around them as a thick, fuzzy cloud. The transfer, prom, Nationals – there have been bad times, some really, truly terrible times but they got through it and Blaine likes to think that for all the time between he's been exactly what Kurt needs him to be.

Which is just fine, because that's what he wants to be. If anyone were to ask him – and boy would it be a strange conversation – he'd say he's most proud of how he's handled the physical side of things.

Mostly in that he hasn't jumped Kurt. Not once. He's eased him into kisses, into tongues and fingers that drift beyond cheeks and jaws to lie lightly on hips. And then wander, trace lines up and down and when there's opportunity, across bare skin. He's eased him into mouths following hands and fingers tugging on hair and lightly scratching and all the while it was mostly new for him. Certainly the torrent of feeling, of physical feeling, was new.

Blaine's never had a boyfriend but he's kissed boys, made out once or twice, and enjoyed the experiences enough to seek out more online, to read and watch and touch himself. He jerks off more than the average boy, he thinks, even before Kurt he thought that but now he's out of control because the physical feeling of Kurt, of even imagining Kurt is overwhelming and addictive.

So he has done remarkably well not to have forgotten himself and pushed Kurt against a wall and ravished him. Kurt wouldn't like that and a month or so in Kurt does freak out and demands a talk and they do and Blaine absolves his sin of telling Kurt he wasn't sexy by pleading and blushing and admitting Kurt makes him lose control.

But never with Kurt because Kurt doesn't deserve that.

They keep making out, they keep progressing and Kurt doesn't demand a talk again but they talk anyway because some days they can't see each other and instead talk in hushed tones on the phone, saying silly, stuttering things that should sound laughable but tend to just sound hot.

By the time summer comes around, Blaine wants desperately to make Kurt come. It becomes an obsession for him and he gets off without actually imagining getting off, just imagining Kurt's face and his body all taut and desperate and he wonders if that's normal or just a part of being in love.

They've started lying against each other, not just making out anymore but rubbing and pressing and it's probably really laughable to watch but they both almost always keep their eyes shut and their mouths get sloppy and the sounds—Oh, the sounds. If there's something that will break Blaine, it's the sounds that slip from Kurt's throat when they press to each other, always at an octave Kurt wouldn't usually speak in. Low or high but with no discernable pattern and sometimes it's just vowels and moans but sometimes it's words, "Blaine" or "God" or an expletive and Blaine didn't expect any of that to be so insanely hot, to make him so hard and so desperate that he always, always has to crawl away when Kurt starts talking like that and beg for a break.

Then Kurt starts saying things like "Do that again" and "Please, oh Blaine, please," and Blaine thinks he's getting wordier on purpose but is too scared to have that suspicion confirmed and just starts training himself not to hear.

Kurt lies on top of him and grinds down and they are both acutely aware of the press of hard cocks between them but Blaine is the perfect boyfriend and doesn't want to push Kurt too far, too fast and always pulls away when he gets too close, smiling shakily and breathing hard. He doesn't let his hands drift below the waist. He tries to keep his kisses even and soft, even when he can feel Kurt's mouth hungry against his.

He's failing more and more often at that last one and he apologizes when he pulls back and Kurt's mouth looks too wet, too red. Kurt shushes him and falls back in.

Kurt loves him for all of that, of course. He knows that he's been playing catch up since they became boyfriends because Blaine has let slip how experienced he is, at least with himself. He whispered to Kurt, early on, that he did watch those movies and liked some of them and that he read avidly and that he knew what he wanted. He'd left it at that and it was strange how there was no pressure there but Kurt knew Blaine was the one holding back and he was the one pushing forward.

He never, ever feels pressure. Not even the slightest coercion to go further, do more. And he utterly, utterly loves Blaine for that. And yet sometimes he feels Blaine shiver, muscles tensing, heat shifting under his hands. Something dynamic and forceful and he can see something—pain, anguish, an ache—in Blaine's eyes and he loves him, but he also feels something running parallel. Lust, he thinks. And they press together, bellies and legs and cocks and he feels it stronger, in him and everything in Blaine. And then Blaine pulls away and gives him a shaky smile and a dopey look and breathes deep. Sometimes he'll crack a joke or say something perfectly enamored.

But Kurt feels it all there, just for a fleeting second before Blaine reins himself in. And he wonders what he'd do if it ever broke free, if Blaine didn't stop himself. What it would take for that to happen.