Secretary To A Wizard

Chapter One

Today was one of those days. It had started off mediocre- the sun had been shining, albeit behind clouds. It drifted down to 'bad' when the coffee machine broke, and graduated to 'worse' with the advent of a scalded hand after the teapot went berserk. And so, caffeine-starved and bedraggled, I stormed out the door, trailing a stream of colorful expletives behind me.

By the time I got to the huge square of concrete that passed as my office building, my hopes for improvement on that not-so-glamorous beginning were as high as the bottom of a dung heap. I knew perfectly well that I hadn't gotten this job because of my typing speed of 41 WPM- the boss was notorious for picking young, nubile secretaries. I suppose I should have been flattered, but I could only ignore the boss' subtle-as-a- steamroller advances for so long.

I sighed as I reached my (tiny) desk, next to the boss'. I could see him almost visibly lick his lips upon my arrival. Good grief, what a sad specimen of middle-aged humanity- complete with spots, freckles, wrinkles and bad teeth. The 'subtle' hints he kept dropping with a waggle of his bushy eyebrows were getting increasingly more frequent and invasive. I was going to have to quit soon, and I didn't have another job.

Then, the boss walked over. I prepared for the worst.

"Hello, Miss Weaver," he said, leaning over. I could smell a potent mix of cigars, brandy and chocolate. Was he looking down my shirt?

"Mister Grinstead!" I exclaimed, standing up. "If you don't stop advancing on me, I'll quit! Better yet, I quit now."

He handed me my paycheck with a look of defeated resignation. I couldn't help feeling relieved, but at the same time, I still didn't have a job. $300 wasn't going to last me more than a few weeks, and even though I'd graduated from Yale Drama, I was having trouble finding work in my true passion- dramatic arts.

I had a cousin who worked at the Globe, so I pulled a few strings and managed to get an ad in:

SECRETARY FOR HIRE

41 WPM, EXPERIENCED

Call Thalia Weaver 124-356-9870 or email SecretaryOfState@typo.net

The next day, I found a few e-mails in my inbox. They were from H&Rblock@secretarialdept.net, Officeguy325@Macys.com, and- this one really caught my eye- WizardStaff@IstariOffice.org. I decided to take a chance on the third one- I was looking for something more interesting this time, and I was curious.