Secretary To A Wizard

Chapter Three: Work
The circles under my eyes had reached epic proportions, my coffee consumption had
gone up three hundred percent (that was saying something), and I looked like a zombie
from an old '70s camp horror movie- but I had finished *all* of my required reading in
three days. Granted, I hadn't retained much.

I'd read the Lord of the Rings before, of course- it was the cool thing to do, back in
college- and I'd begun the Silmarillion once or twice. The density of the prose had put
me off a bit, and I had never really had the time to continue. The Histories of Middle
Earth were even denser. But I was wise in the ways of Middle-Earth now; wise, and

However, the $300 had come in useful for paying the rent, and this was a job I could
*not* afford to lose. It was Sunday morning when I shut the last volume of the Histories
and began dozing off, my head hitting the table. Suddenly, an idea so odd occurred to me
that it jolted me out of my semi-unconscious state.

"Holy mother of a winky-frog!" I cried to the book in my lap. It ignored me. "Istari
offices! Istari! WIZARDS!" I then smacked my own forehead.
"WizardStaff@IstariOffices.Org…wow, that's a play on words there! Maybe it's some
kind of Tolkien-promotion company. That would explain the…reading list." I sighed.
"Looks like there are elves in my future."

I then realized that I was talking to myself…again…a habit I could not rid myself of. Ah,

"Istari Offices, huh?"


"You're late," my boss said, not looking up from the sheaves of paper he was riffling

"I'm sorry…there was traffic and such," I said lamely. He merely grunted, and shoved a
paper at me, looking disgruntled.

"Read that."

I obediently read it.

' Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings Film Trilogy To Be $300m Blockbuster'

I looked up. "They're making a LotR movie? Well, I hope it's better than the Bakshi
version…" I snickered.

"This is no laughing matter," the boss said grimly. "Do you know what this will do to

I simply stared blankly at him.

"I have much to explain to you, Miss Weaver. Come, sit down."

Fighting back some irrational trepidation, I sat on the plush chair opposite him as he
began to talk.

"You know all that has been revealed to the people of your world of Arda, do you not?"

After some thought, I nodded.

"What you do not know is…that Arda is real. It exists."

I snorted. "Yeah, right. Stick some fur on my feet and call me a hobbit, okay?"

He looked puzzled. "You believe me, then?"


"It is true!"

"Prove it."

He sighed. "Very well…come with me."

Warily, I followed him. What kind of job was this, anyway?
-Finit De Chaptorum-