Everyone makes at least one big mistake in their life. Some people make a bad investment. Others blow that big battle and end up regretting it their entire life. There are even those guys that are at the wrong place at the wrong time and end up shooting someone and having to explain to their wife that their husband is dead before they go on the run from the law and have to travel from town to town using fake names until they're old and frail and finally confess to their son of this horrible crime they committed just as they kick the bucket.

Then there's me: Alex. You ever see that relatively short girl in the middle of some forest yelling to herself because she was too stupid to buy a map? Yeah, that's me. I'm not really anything special; like most people I have that one big mistake I really regret. Except instead of having one mistake I have a lot of them. And I've never really regretted them. Not a single one. So that kind of shoots that in the face.

I never regretted joining up with Team Rocket (we'll get to the that fun fact later), never regretted sleeping with those countless number of guys, never regretted lying enough times to get me two round-trip tickets to hell, and I certainly don't regret doing what I as doing right now- robbing a Pokemart.

Now in my defense I had just spent the last three days lost in Ilex Forest. Basically no food, no comfortable spot to sleep on, no map (what I tell you?). The only thing I really did have was a Dodrio with serious problems that spent most of the time trying to kill itself. But I digress. Fact of the matter was I was pretty irritated, and rightfully so. Would you like to be in that situation? No. You wouldn't. On top of that I was flat broke. Broke, on top of all of that! My life is a tragedy, I swear. I've got to support myself somehow. If that involves robbing convenience stores, then so be it. I've done worse. But we aren't there yet.

Back to the Pokemart. Now, considering I was a member of a terrorist organization that engaged in crimes of all sizes, one wouldn't really be surprised at the fact that I was robbing the place. I wouldn't blame them. The funny thing was that my job didn't involve the crime committing. That didn't mean I didn't enjoy partaking in it, though.

The sliding glass doors of the place had just been smashed through by my Camerupt, Brenn. He wasn't exactly one for subtlety. Instead of waiting for the doors to open he'd just charged right through, smashing the glass and scaring the everliving crap out of the shoppers. It made for a pretty great scene, I have to admit. There I was, standing amongst the shattered glass, looking at the shoppers who were all cowering behind counters from the beast that had just blasted through the doors. And hell, if looks could kill, those people would all have dropped dead. Brenn looked like he was about ready to burn the whole lot of them just to watch them scream and suffer.

The big guy had some anger management problems. That much was pretty obvious.

"Alright, everyone down!" I yelled, though it was moot. Mr. Subtlety had pretty much insured no one would dare to get up; those volcanoes on his back weren't just for show. I looked around to make sure no one had tried getting out a back entrance or something. "Hands up! I want them where I can see them!" I added, everyone immediately raising their hands up. "Don't even think of lowering them!" I added as menacingly as I could. Sure, I wasn't exactly intimidating. I was only 5'3" or so, so I didn't have that going for me. My build was pretty small and lean, too; there went that. Hell, I didn't even have an intimidating haircut. You know those people? The ones where even their HAIR makes you cringe in fear? Yeah, not me. My light brown hair went to about my shoulders, and was about as intimidating as a baby Glameow. But the murderous-looking Camerupt didn't exactly hurt my case.

I started taking slow steps forward, scanning everywhere I could with my hazel eyes, taking notes of where everyone was for the most part. Azalea was a pretty small and quiet town; it was highly unlikely anyone would have the guts to challenge Brenn, let alone a capable Pokemon. My main concern was someone reaching for their phone to call the cops, but with my Pokemon's looks backing up my orders, it didn't look like anyone would try anything. He followed me slowly as I stepped forward to the counter, whipping his head around to glare at the shoppers. The path to the door was unobstructed, but no one dared to make a break for it lest they ended up in a burned pile on the tile floor.

The clerk was shaking badly under the counter, looking about ready to wet himself. When I reached it I rested my elbows on it, looking down at him with the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. He squeaked when he saw me, looking as though he was trying to make himself smaller than physically possible.

"Excuse me, I need some service," I told him as sweetly as I could, batting my eyelashes for good measure. Pokemart Clerk appeared to be having a heart attack down there, shaking badly.

"Wh-Wh-Wh-What d-d-do y-y-y-y-you n-n-need?" he asked, stuttering so badly that it took a few extra seconds to comprehend what he was saying.

"Oh, not much! Just for you to open that register right over there and hand me all the money in it. I'm sure that won't be too hard. After all, I don't want to hurt anyone, and I won't have to if you comply." I had a lot stacked against me for the 'intimidating' factor, sans the homicidal camel. The least I could do was compensate by toying with the poor guy. And, hey, I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. It felt a little awkward to speak like this, sure, but the clerk didn't really seem to notice.

He nodded and released another string of what I assumed was words, scrambling up to his feet and moving to open up the cash register. He was having a considerable amount of difficulty with how badly he was shaking, but I wasn't in any rush. I didn't bother looking back at everyone else; that was Brenn's job. Someone would have to be pretty ballsy to go up against the 6 foot tall, flamethrowing, probably crazy Pokemon.

My fingers drummed against the counter as the clerk tried to open up the register, finally succeeding in opening it after several attempts. He grabbed one of the Mart's shopping bags and began stuffing bills in it while I watched him, emptying the contents of the register before too long. Figures. Little town would equal little profits, but there was always more opportunity for money-making. I took the plastic bag cheerfully from the clerk when he shakily handed it to me, stuffing it into my own shoulder bag. It was a good amount still, more than enough to last me a few days.

Thanking him with another grin, I looked over to my Camerupt. Brenn was still glaring at the poor patrons of the store, and it was pretty obvious they had all been far too scared to move.

"Now! I don't want anyone moving their hands until I'm out of the building, or else this guy here'll burn the whole place to the ground!" I barked, all of them cringing. That's when I slowly started stepping backwards, keeping my eyes on as many of them as I could. Brenn followed my lead, though he had a bit more difficulty moving backwards, as he was used to charging forwards. Broken glass crunched under my shoes and his hooves, the eyes of all the people in the store following me. They were still on me when I hit the grass outside, and I turned around and started walking away from the store as if nothing had happened.

I glanced over at my Pokemon, who looked pretty pissed at not being able to incinerate something. Poor guy. He had been so eager to really destroy something. How could I deny him that simple pleasure? I'd have to be heartless to do something like that.

"Alright buddy. Burn it to the ground," I said, nodding to confirm when he looked over at me. The change was instantaneous. He perked up immensely, stopping his tromp and turning around to face the Pokemart. We weren't too far from it at that point, a good range for him to show his fire powers. I took a few steps back from him, holding his Pokeball in my hand. I was ready to run; shit was about to seriously hit the fan. Someone had probably called the cops already, and we didn't exactly have a lot of time to make a run for it. Especially if we decided to destroy something.

If the rest of the town wasn't aware of us, they were once Brenn let out a deafening roar. Camels can roar. Go figure. He dug his hooves into the earth to brace himself, rearing his head before shooting a Flame Burst at the Pokemart. That's when I sprung into action. The attack smashed into the store, breaking the previously untouched glass and sending the building into flames so strong I could feel them from where I was standing. I threw Brenn's Pokeball to return him as fast as I could, catching it and breaking into a run away from the convenience store and back toward the Arceusforsaken forest. The screaming could easily be heard, and boy was it loud. My teeth started gritting against each other as I tried to block it out and listen for the unmistakable sirens to make their appearance. I wasn't one for senseless violence, but, well, some opportunities were just too good to pass up. You would've done the same thing were you in my position. Don't even try to say you wouldn't.

I had my Dodrio out of his Pokeball by the time I heard the police sirens from the other side of the town, and jumped onto him as fast as I could. He had broken into a run as soon as I was on him, as one brief glance at the burning building told him he needed to get his feathery ass into gear. But even so, the maneuver had us losing a lot of ground. The bird was fast, sure, but what can I say? Cops are fast, too. And they have guns.

Speaking of which, you'll never guess what they had started to firing at us. I don't regret shit, but if I did I would have regretted deciding to let Brenn burn down that Pokemart. In hindsight, it was a pretty dumb descision. My Dodrio didn't exactly look pleased. Just a few seconds out of his ball and he already had his owner screaming at him while some guys shot at him.

"Tulo! Into the forest!" I yelled as loud as I could, and he squawked in acknowledgement. With his long legs and naturally fast speed he broke into the trees in almost no time, ducking and moving to avoid smacking into them. Police cars couldn't go into the forest, especially the denser areas that we were sticking to. Tulo had to slow down to keep from crashing into something, but he was still moving much faster than the police officers. Even if they were still firing at us. Which they still were. And believe me, it's not fun riding on an angry three-headed bird while cops try to shoot at you.

Okay I lied. It's actually really fun.

Sure okay, most people don't have 'robbing stores before burning them down and running away from the fuzz' on their list of things they like to do in their free time, and most would consider people who do to be pretty crazy, but there's nothing like the rush of adrenaline you get. It makes life exciting. Who wants to live some boring life full of following the rules? Not me, that's for sure. I live for this kind of stuff. But we're getting away from the point here. Back to the angry officers trying to shoot me.

The cops were pretty persistent and it took a while to lose them, but we lost them. Even after they sent their Arcanine after us, which were very fast themselves and had this wonderful habit of trying to burn Tulo to a crisp. The bird wasn't very happy to have to run like his life depended on it (it probably did) while taking down the attacking canines. But he sure as hell did it, somehow, and had taken us so deep in this forest that the cops would give up trying to find us. Sure, they'd still be after me, but Goldenrod was relatively close, and that was a big city. I could blend in there and lie low. From my experience eyewitnesses were really unreliable, and even so Brenn had hopefully left few of those. I'd just have to keep the Camerupt in his Pokeball until we far away enough to where the suspicion would go down. Hopefully that wouldn't take too long; Goldenrod was, like I said, pretty close, and being a big city had a high crime rate. There were lots of possible suspects, thankfully. And what with this crazy kind of shit happening all the time, they'd probably end up dismissing it before too long. The terrorist groups were always pulling some new stunt; it would be ridiculous for the cops to focus on just one incident with all these others going on. Which was more than mine with me.

Tulo was about ready to collapse, all three heads panting. His three hearts must have been working overdrive, and once it was certain we were safe he unceremoniously dumped me off of him and started looking around for a comfortable place to lay. I kept the grumbling under my breath; I deserved that. I watched his three heads bicker about where to lie down, each of them taking turns in giving me a dirty look. He was exhausted and stressed, and now we were back in this forest. I'm honestly surprised he didn't just run off right there and leave me.

I waited to approach him until he had lied down, slowly walking forward. All three heads snapped up to glare daggers at me, and I cringed. This guy was harsh with the looks tonight. What was with my Pokemon and the death glares?

"Tulo, I'm sorry," I said softly, trying to give him the most genuine look I could. He screeched at me, obviously not taking it. "Come on, I'm sorry! It's just...Brenn wanted to burn something! You know how he is!" The Dodrio squawked at me, all three heads hurling angry obscenities at me in Pokespeak. I just had to stand there and take it. I deserved it. It was probably a bitch move for me to try and push the blame over to the Camerupt, too. Even if it was his fault.

"Okay, okay. I know. But I'm really sorry. You know I care about you, right?" I eased forward, the three heads eying me warily. They almost never had the same thoughts concerning anything, but it was clear they all agreed to be pissed at me. "You know I do. You were my first Pokemon, Tulo. That's gotta count for something, right?" Okay, that was a pretty low blow; I know how guilty he gets when I remind him that he's been with me longer than anyone else. My words were soft as I reached a hand out and stroked his leftmost neck, relieved he didn't try to bite it off. All three of his heads looked right into my eyes, and I smiled. "Come on buddy, we make an awesome team. I'd be nowhere without you." I knew this guy inside and out, and exactly what to say. Stroking his ego was always a good tactic, and it was clear I almost had him. Time for the final nail in the coffin. The shot was gonna be cheap, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

"If you forgive me, I'll make it up to you." I said with a wink and a bit of a seductive undertone, the bird perking up at that. Bingo. I totally had him now. He had completely forgotten to be mad at me now that I had brought the possibility of sex to the table. Tulo was way too predictable. In fact, most of my Pokemon were. No matter how furious they'd get, I could almost always calm them down with the horizontal mambo. They liked it. I liked it. They weren't mad anymore. I got a great fuck. Everybody wins!

I slid my hand down from his neck, rubbing the feathers on his back. Slowly, his eyes slipped shut, all three heads cooing. They were each different and had their own thoughts and personalities, but usually during sex it seems like their brains all melt into one, for the most part. I kept stroking his back, my other hand moving to begin stroking his chest. Or, rather, where his chest would be if he had one. "Now come on, get up," I told him, the bird quickly complying by standing up. Being on my knees, I was eye-level with what I wanted- his three erections that had made themselves known. When they said Dodrio had three of everything, they weren't kidding. And I sure as hell wasn't complaining.

I took his left- and rightmost dicks in my hands, stroking them slowly to get him harder. Tulo groaned softly to let me know that I was doing well, and so I turned my attention to the cock in the middle. Due to the placing this as usually the one that got my most attention, and today wouldn't be an exception. But for once they weren't complaining; even with separate everythings they all felt the pleasure. This made for some fun fucking. I smiled and leaned down to kiss the tip of his middle cock, the bird groaning a little in response. He was really sensitive, and after being with him for so long I knew how to exploit this. Still stroking his other two dicks, I wrapped my mouth around the head and began to suck lightly.

Tulo squirmed a little, loving the triple treatment I was giving him. My hands kept up their attention to his two outermost rods, my mouth starting to move lower on his middle cock. My tongue kept teasing him, rubbing against his tip and swirling around it while I kept sucking. I began speeding my hands up a little, relishing the sounds of pleasure the bird was trying and failing to contain.

He began bucking forward a little, trying to get his rod deeper in my mouth. I complied, moving my mouth down as far as it would go. His dick bumped against the back of my throat, causing us both to shiver. My hands worked him faster as I started sliding my mouth down and up on his shaft, still rubbing my tongue against whatever I could. The pace of my mouth caught up to my hands, and as I rhythmically worked him he squirmed and writhed in pleasure.

My hands kept speeding up, Tulo's panting become more and more obvious. He was close; he couldn't last long with feeling pleasure coming from three cocks. I moaned around him, speeding up my tongue and hand treatment as he drew closer and closer to his orgasm. It didn't take a rocket scientist to know I wanted his cum. And cum he did.

With a cry loud enough to wake a Slaking he bucked forward one last time, his loads shooting from all three of his cocks all over my hands and down my throat. I kept stroking him through the orgasm, pulling back only when he was done to swallow. I looked up, licking my lips while I watched the three-headed bird try to regain his breath. I let his softening dicks go, bring my hands up to lick the cum off of them.

"And how was that?" I asked with a wink, knowing he was too tired to do anymore than pant. That was one of the downsides to sex with him. He came fast from all the treatment, and one round felt like three to him. Then again, all the cum was nice. The pros and cons outweighed themselves pretty well.

Tulo all but collapsed as he sat back down, still breathing rather heavily. I took each of his heads in my hands and kissed the top of them, smiling at him. "Not mad at me anymore, big guy?" I asked, the bird shaking his head. It was obvious my plan had worked, and I was glad he wasn't angry with me being reckless anymore. I looked down at my clothes, surprised that he hadn't cum on my shirt. Sure, it was short-sleeved (summer, what can I say?), but that was a first. That didn't mean I wanted to sleep in a sweaty, dirty shirt all night.

I stood up and went over to my bag, which was where the bird had dumped me off before, and got out my change of clothes. "Note to self: need new outfit." I said, stripping down before throwing my pajamas on. I then trotted over the bird, who was still awake by some miracle. "Big day, right?" I joked, the Pokemon being too tired to make some retort. I smiled at him, kissing the top of each head again. "We need our sleep. Gotta find a way out of this labyrinth of a forest tomorrow," I added, ignoring the irritated look he did his best to give me with his right head. I settled down, using his body as a pillow. "Night, Tulo." I yawned, the bird letting out a small squawk as it rested its heads to sleep. It had been a pretty big day. But that was nothing new. And tomorrow was sure to be bigger.

So that concludes chapter one! Mysteries afoot everywhere. What DOES Alex do? Why is the smut so rushed? Why does someone who can't write at all insist on doing so anyway? These and more revealed next time!

..But yes. First story, and it sucks. I've been spending weeks trying to fix it and if I try anymore I'll probably end up killing myself. So here you go. If you made it this far, thank you! I appreciate it! I really do.

And I promise, next chapter'll be a lot better. Expositions were never my strong suit. I'll try and get the ball rolling and update as soon as I can.

(And psst. Any review would be amazing. Even if you tell me I'm horrible; I'll love you forever for reviewing. Hell, I'll love you forever for even reading my terrible rambling.)