A/N: Special thanks to Hylla for reviewing so many chapters. 0.0 When I saw my reviews had shot up, I was very surprised, even more so when I found out it was due to one person. Thanks for the comments. You stay awesome.
As for my other readers, I hope you have not deserted me. -.-' I took a long hiatus because of writer's block, BUT NOW I AM BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER!~
As it turns out, the tiny ball of light wasn't a flying object of death. Actually, it's Mangareader, who seems just as distraught over his condition as the other bidders are. When the light around him fades, he is revealed in all his small glory with majestic ice wings on his back.
"Oh, thank god I had my magical notepad and pen on me! Kevvy, you have to help me! The evil scientist and his assistant did this to me..." Mangareader goes into an explanation of what happened during the cool-off period between chapters.
AWESOME FLASHBACK MOMENT
Mangareader and Starrk stand on the rooftop of the auction house, enjoying a peaceful, non-chaotic moment.
"Go ahead without me, Starrk. I just want to catch my breath before the bids begin anew."
Starrk looks at him. "Just be careful. After what happened, I feel it is not the end with that crazy scientist."
Mangareader nods absent-mindedly as Starrk leaves.
"The sky is so clear and the air is so fresh! It is so peaceful up here," Mangareader says.
Suddenly, a wild Nemu (much like a wild Pikachu, but tamer) appears and grabs her unfortunate victim while injecting a weird substance in his arm.
"Master Mayuri sends you a gift as a thank you for disturbing his research on making people small."
With that, Nemu leaves as Mangareader begins to change.
END OF AWESOME FLASHBACK
"...And when I came to, I was tiny! Is there anyway to fix this?"
"How about a cup of milk? It promotes physical growth!" I suggest. "Toshiro drinks it all the time cuz he's so short."
"I HEARD THAT!" the captain bellows. His harem of fan-girls zip up their jackets as his icy spiritual pressure fills the room.
"On a more positive note, I found this for you!" Mangareader whips out an ID card that is larger than him at the moment. "It's a membership card from the 'I Love Kaien Shiba' fan club. Though I know you have one already, this one is super special. It is the very first one in existence of the club, and it is autographed by Kaien himself!"
I lunge without warning, but I miss by a hair as Mangareader snatches it from my reach. I execute a perfect somersault and roll onto my feet, thrusting my fist into the air. "WHYYY?!" I roar at the heavens.
"It is yours as soon as you help me with my small size problem. I am beginning to feel the urge to shout out loud phrases like 'Hey!' 'Listen!' and 'Watch out!' "
I croutch down in my emo corner and lay my head on my knees, a dark, depressing aura descending over me.
"Uh-oh," Kisuke murmurs, hiding his face behind his fan. A puddle of tears expands around me as I erupt in wretched sobs.
Bangkok-chan and ultimate kh fan walk up to the edge of the stage at that moment, and the uncomfortable shopkeeper sees his chance to get away from my waterworks. He edges away from me, leaving me to amass a larger puddle of tears.
Toshiro looks visibly annoyed by my racket, and unleashes a wave of icy pressure that solidifies the pool swelling around me. I lose my footing on it and slip, collapsing spread-eagle on the sheet of ice. "Master!" Narunosuke exclaims, coming to my aid from where he'd been concealed behind Renji's chair.
"I'll give you as much money as you want to renovate Urahara Shoten so it's absolutely fabulous! Can I paint it pink?" Bangkok-chan asks, finishing up her bid for Kisuke.
He chuckles. "That wouldn't be a bad color for a candy shop, but it's a little bright, don't you think? What's wrong with my current color scheme?"
Narunosuke returns to my side several feet away, having been rummaging backstage for a washbowl. He soaks a cloth in the basin of warm water and rests it on my forehead to chase away the chill.
Chad appears to be entertaining forever122, who's trying to tempt him with...tomatoes and loud shirts.
The gentle giant sweatdrops.
"...Also some fuzzy friends! Maybe a dew bird, a rabbit, a gerbil, guinea pig, and hamster. Even if I don't win, I still want to be your friend."
"Good to know," Chad says. "Thank you."
"I can't hear myself think!" I groan. The chorus of fan-girl squealing builds to a crescendo as Toshiro does a flourish with his Hyorinmaru for a couple of 5 year olds. There's no enthusiasm in it though.
In fact, he seems very irritated. This must be like the hundredth time he'd been asked to manifest a shower of snow flakes. He sighs heavily, going through the motions.
"TOSHIRO!" The voice carries over the rest, silencing everyone. I give a huge breath of relief.
"Everyone stay away! Back off ladies!" Shades-soul comes trudging through the crowd, parting the way through the sea of bidders. "Captain Hitsugaya, I will give you an unlimited supply of watermelons, promise! I will go to the ends to find you one when they are out of season if it comes to it."
Toshiro casts a deadpan look over his shoulder at the colossal mountain of watermelons his fan-girls had been giving him all day. What a waste...How on earth was he going to eat all those?
"I will help you with your paperwork, organize it and even deliver it without asking for anything in return, slacking or complaining."
Toshiro crosses his arms. "Well good. Seeing as how Rangiku is never around when you need her, more hands will be welcome." Rangiku shoves her way up the front. "Captain! How can you say that?" she cries, injured.
"Because it's true," he retorts. Static charges between them.
"I will also find a way to replace all of Matsumoto's sake with water or make a safe that she can't break."
"WHAT?" Rangiku whirls around to face Shades-Soul, her expression one of outrage. "I'll have you know I am a very responsible lieutenant." Everyone, including me and Toshiro, scoffs in unison.
"I will call you captain and not Toshiro, promise! I will mention this and face your wrath. We are both short, I barely reach 5'0, so I will kick anyone's butt who dares to call you so or a child. Don't know what else to offer...? Safety from fan members?"
A vein throbs on Toshiro's face, but after hours of height remarks on my part, he sees the futility in countering, and tries to keep his composure.
"AAAAAAAHHHH! OMG, KEVVY! I LOVE YOU! (Not that way. In a friendly way. Duh.)"
MehLikey appears onstage and skips in circles around the snowy-haired captain, hugging a Gin plushie to death and sucking on a scorched almond. "I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE scorched almonds."
"Like I love POCKY!" I shout, waving my arms around like a madman.
"Okay, Hitsugaya-taicho. Um. If you don't like me, you will never have to see me again. Just give me the word (The word is the word.)"
"It's fine. You can stay," Toshiro says, unsheathing his sword and shattering the ice I'd slipped on in one clean cut. It disintegrates, lifting away from the floorboards without leaving a mark.
"Please, Kevvy, tell me I'm not going crazy. I see Gins following me everywhere. I think your plushies came to life." I blink as MehLikey drags a struggling plushie from behind a pole.
"See!" The Gin waves. I give Urahara a pointed look, and he shrugs his shoulders sheepishly.
"Mod souls. I wanted to test them out," he laughs it off, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Can I still keep them?" I close my eyes as Narunosuke helps me over to Renji's recliner and nod.
"Yes. They are your property, after all."
"Oh, one last thing." Urahara smiles at MehLikey, who promptly begins to strangle him with black liquorice. "F*** YOU, URAHARA! NO ONE STEALS MY SCORCHED ALMONDS AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!" Hat-'n'clogs flails wildly for a moment, then there's a loud pop, and a long wheezing sound comes out of him as he deflates. Urahara pops up behind MehLikey with a wicked grin on his face.
"Portable gigai!" he declares. A Gin plushie punches him in the face, dropping him to the floor like a sack of potatoes.
"Kevvy, please tell me he's dead."
"Probably not," I sigh.
"Hitsugaya-taicho, if there's anything else you want, just ask. I will do it." Mehlikey flashes him a blinding smile and exits the stage. Toshiro just stands there, confused and weirded out by the sight of all the Gin plushies tumbling after MehLikey.
Shirayuki: "I will give Toshiro freedom to do whatever he wants as long as I get to glomp him every now and then. I will also give him an unlimited supply of watermelons and do all of his paperwork."
"How many times have we received the same bid now?" I say to myself. "Any more watermelons and the stage will collapse in on itself." As if to prove how strained the stage is, a low creaking groan passes through the floorboards. Toshiro passes the mountain of watermelons a weary glance.
AnimeKisses: "Hey! What's this about running away from Jushiro? Captain Hitsugaya doesn't do it because my precious Jushiro genuinely annoys him or scares him (he isn't a pedophile damn't.) Hitsugaya just doesn't want to be seen as a child thank you very much!"
Toshiro looks at Anime-Kisses with gratitude. "That's right," he agrees with feeling.
"How convenient, Kevvy! Ju-kun just gave me some candy this morning. It was originally for Hitsugaya-taicho, but I'm sure the captain doesn't mind sharing, right? But don't give the candy to Kisuke. I'm worried for all our safety." I nod, clutching my secret stash closer. Kisuke moans, starting to recover from the knock in the face.
"Nice cosplay, Kevvy!" Anime-Kisses gives me a thumbs up. I flush, adjusting my vice-captain's badge.
"Thanks," I say, lighting up.
"Captain Hitsugaya doesn't need a protector from Ju-kun for the last time! He's simply very loving and wants to share what little he can offer!"
Toshiro yelps as he gets yanked down onto the ground, hanging dangerously over the side of the stage. Fan-girls put their hands on his shoulders to support him while others begin to pet his hair. "Hey, stop that!" he hollars, arms pinwheeling.
"I'm glad someone appreciates my Kaien ducky..." Chad achieves a very disturbed expression at the sight of my Kaien ducky, which is sitting with me on the chair. It's eyes...those haunting eyes...They were staring into his soul...
Anime-Kisses begins tearing up. "Kisuke-kun, how could you be so mean...? I don't even know if I want to kiss you anymore!" Kisuke looks at her with wide, puppy dog eyes as he pulls himself up into a sitting position.
Anime-Kisses looks back at him. "Okay, I lied. You're still too damn handsome for your own good." Anime-Kisses begins to address Toshiro, who is in the process of being smothered, felt up, and throughly violated by fan-girls. "Thanks for listening, sir! I hope you enjoy your "wonder" melons, as Kevvy put it."
"GAAAAAH!" Toshiro begins thrashing and yelling at the top of his lungs as a rather busty fan-girl pulls him into her cleavage. His voice is muffled by her boobs, but his reluctance towards the whole situation is clear by his squirming and squirming.
"Speaking of which, Kisuke! If you're interested (which I'm sure you are) as to how I grew my melons like that, you should go with me. I'll show you all sorts of my own little experiments and we can do our own little science sho-W, OMG, KISUKE, YOU COULD BE THE NEXT BILL NYE!" Hat-'n-clogs decides to put an end to Anime-Kisses rant and throws his arms around her, glomping her...then he gives her the smooch she asked for. Everyone stares. Narunosuke tries to cover my eyes, to which I slap his hands away for trying to treat me like a kid.
WinterValley: "And now I finally bid! Captain Hitsugaya, I will buy you a watermelon farm and an amanatto factory! I will also make it so that Matsumoto actually does her paperwork!"
"Hell with freeze over before that happens," I mutter. Toshiro just shakes his head.
The stage, however, which has been suffering the weight of too many watermelons for some time now, cannot take the mention of another watermelon, let alone a farm of them. Just hearing the word, it gives a terribly loud snap, and breaks in half, causing Toshiro, the watermelons, and myself to go sliding towards the gaping break in the middle.
I emit a startled scream as I plummet towards it.
"CONGRATS CHIRPY HITOMI-CHAN! YOU'VE WON KISUKE URAHARAAAAAAAA!"
Darkness swallows us.
To be continued...
Chapter was a bit longer than usual, but that was to compensate for my long absence. Hope you readers liked ^.^ Will definitely try to post new chappy next week.
Unfortunately, even with as long a chapter as this one so obviously was, I still could not fit all the bids in here, so they will be pushed to next chappy, where you will most definitely see them.
Narunosuke, Chad and Toshiro all are still on bid. Chirpy Hitomi-chan, Kisuke is now yours! But I think I might keep him just for next chapter to keep things fun. :)
After the wreckage has settled from the collapsed halves of the stage, a vile of fluid rolls out. Apparantly, it had been thrown from Kisuke's pocket when he'd fallen. The antidote to Mangareader's little problem.
Why of course he'd known Mayuri was researching making people small! He'd originally designed it, after all. Mwahahaha!