Yes I know that there are 29 days until it is actually Halloween. I also realized that this is such a crack-fic and I can never seem to get away from that idea that James has a freaking costume wardrobe in his closet. But I can't help myself when it comes to holiday fics. Plus, I've been thinking about this since like June, now that's REALLY early. Plus, I'm planning on writing two more one-shots sometime in the middle of October and begin 'Lullabies in the Night' on Halloween, so yeah, only new things I'm producing this month is Halloween stuff. So I hope you enjoy this!
Disclaimer: I don't own BTR
"James you are not wearing that!" Mrs. Knight said with hand on her forehead and eyes closing in the pain from her increasing headache from the teen standing in front of her. James pouted, crossing his arms over his bare chest, the black cat ears poised ever so nicely in his combed brunette hair.
"Come on, Mama Knight! It's Halloween! You can dress up as anything you want!" James complained and the woman let out another groan.
"But you are not wearing that when you are supposed to be going trick-or-treating!" she said in annoyance and that was when Katie Knight looked over at her mother, eyebrow raised.
"Aren't they a little old to be trick-or-treating?" the ten year old asked and James pointed at her.
"You're never too old for free stuff," he said with a grin that she rolled her eyes at. James then turned attention to the redheaded woman and placed on his best convincing smile. "Now Mrs. Knight, picture it. You've been giving out candy for possibly three hours straight and want to call it a night. Then the doorbell rings and you get up to answer it and when you open the door," James then raised his hands, doing 'the face', "I'm right there. Wouldn't you give me all of your candy right then?"
". . .No."
"What if I did a little dance?"
"Change. Now." the mother said, pointing off in the direction of James' shared room with Carlos and James groaned. "James, why can't you just wear something more appropriate like Carlos?" she asked and the teen glanced over at his Latino friend. Carlos was at the moment trying to imitate the character that he was dressed up as, James' friend now far from Super Mario dressing up and delving into the world of Street Fighter. And currently, the young teen was trying to give hurricane kicks and dragon punches with the red headband tied around his forehead and bare feet kicking wild. James rolled his eyes, jutting a thumb out at Carlos.
"Mrs. Knight, seriously? A video game character? What do I look like, four? Besides, that's so unoriginal. A bunch of people dress up like video game characters, how many people do you know dress up like sex kittens?" he asked, gesturing to himself and Mrs. Knight placed a hand to her forehead again, feeling her headache coming back. "Besides, if I don't wear this, I'm just going to go into my closet and find something worse," he said with a sly smile and she groaned. Worse than that? What kind of mother would she look like having a 16 year old boy up there on the porch where innocent children could see him half naked and using sex appeal to get candy? A terrible one, that's what. Brooke trusted her with James and she was not going to let him go through with this. She was stronger, she was stronger.
"Hey mom, do you know where the buckets are for candy?" she heard Kendall call out and she turned to direct her son over to where the five (if Katie decides that she wasn't too old to get free stuff) buckets sat to gape in horror at what her son was wearing. Kendall was wearing an outfit similar to James, instead of black slacks and cat tail with ears, it was white pants with long tall rabbit ears worthy of Playboy status. James smiled brightly, running up and wrapping arms around Kendall.
"You look perfect!" James said happily and then gave a devilish smirk, "Simply delicious."
"No! No! Absolutely not!" Mrs. Knight shouted and the two teens turned, heads cocking in confusion. "Kendall, James, change now!"
"But Mama Knight-"
"Now! Or you both are staying!" she shouted and James let out an annoyed sigh, taking Kendall's hand and pulling him down the hall into the empty bedroom. Kendall closed the door behind him, reaching up to take the bunny ears off of his head.
"I told you she wouldn't do it," Kendall said and James shot him a look.
"But we would have got so much candy. Maybe even a couple of bucks if we started kissing!" James complained and Kendall blushed, crossing his arms over his chest and bottle green eyes averting James' face.
"Well, just pick a costume. I didn't really want to dress up anyways," Kendall muttered and James frowned, stepping over and wrapping arms around Kendall.
"But this is our first Halloween as a couple and you promised that we'd dress up as a couple. Are you going back on your words?" James asked, little puppy dog pout appearing on his face and Kendall stared at the brunette's lips before rolling his eyes and groaning.
"Fine then, what other costumes can you think about?" the blond asked and James beamed, releasing his grip from his boyfriend and sauntering over to his closet. He managed to kick Carlos out of sharing the closet with him, the smaller member of the band only using a dresser to keep all his clothes in, leaving enough room for James' spring, summer, winter, fall and 'special' clothing. He yanked open the doors, shuffling through some of the fabrics before pulling out a red silk bathrobe.
"How about I go as Hugh Hefner and you be my Playboy bunny?"
"Uh, I'm still going in this costume. The entire reason we're both in here is because both of our costumes are inappropriate," Kendall said matter-of-factly and James rolled his eyes, tossing the robe back into the closet and then snapping his fingers.
"Oh! I know! I can be a pimp and you'll be my crack whore!" James said with a grin that Kendall blinked at.
". . .No. . .just no."
"Come on, I'm pretty sure I can find a short dress for you and a wig from Camille-"
"I'm not dressing as a girl!"
"Then do you have any suggestions?"
". . .I don't know, doctor and nurse?" Kendall asked and James crossed his arms.
"But the only nurse costume I have is 'Naughty Nurse' and your mother will definitely not let me wear that," James said and Kendall gave a small smile. He liked that costume on the brunette, the short white shorts and little medical cap that always got torn off whenever he and Kendall were getting into one of their. . .'study sessions'. James tapped his finger on his lower lip, peering deeper into his closet and groaning.
"How about hippies?"
"Ew! I'm not going to dress like Guitar Dude!" James snapped and Kendall rolled his eyes.
"Well will you hurry up and pick something? We're wasting perfectly good time and all the good candy is going to get taken," Kendall said with a frown. Last Halloween, the only thing that was in his bucket was a bunch of Tootsie Rolls. Seriously? He would have preferred a rock than a buttload of Tootsie Rolls. James crossed his arms, scowling.
"I can't think of anything we can wear. . .what's Logan going to dress up as?" James asked and Kendall shrugged.
"Since Carlos couldn't talk him into dressing like Chun-Li, I'm not sure. Maybe a mad scientist like always," Kendall replied and James rolled his eyes. Logan always dressed as a scientist for Halloween, James just surprised the costume didn't grow too small for him already. How boring and predictable, anyone knew Logan would dress as a mad scientist, people predicted that James would dress up as something slutty (which they were usually right), Kendall would dress relatively normal and Carlos' costume would be just odd. Kendall's eyes widened, snapping his fingers.
"Hockey players!" Kendall chirped and James gave him a blank stare.
"Hockey players? Seriously?"
"We never dressed like hockey players and it's perfectly appropriate."
"That's so lame!" James whined, flinging himself onto his bed and turned to look over at the blond still standing with a dry expression, "Seriously, hockey players? That's all you can think of? Really, Kendall, I'm just amazed at how crappy your imagination is. I would expect it from Logan but not you. If your imagination was a face, I'd punch it. . .in the face-"
"Okay, okay!" Kendall said, exhausted and rolled his eyes, grumbling out, "I just wanted to help."
"You'd help by asking your mom to let us go like we are. Sex kitten and his fuck bunny, that's super creative!" James said and Kendall sighed, walking over and sitting down by the bed. Kendall rested a hand on James' lower back, rubbing the soft skin in small circles and hearing a contented sigh from his boyfriend on the bed.
"I'll be a hockey player and you could be my sexy referee," Kendall offered and he saw James' muscles tense before a lazy hazel eyes glanced over at him.
"No, that's boring."
"James, if you don't just get a costume in the next ten minutes, I'm getting dressed in my normal clothes and go trick-or-treating as myself," Kendall said with an annoyed frown that James groaned at. "Groan all you want, I'm serious."
"No buts," Kendall said back sternly and James turned his head so his face was in the pillow and not scowling up at Kendall's face. Kendall continued to rub James' back, little smile flickering over his face. "You know. . .I wouldn't mind you dressing up like this when we're 'studying'," Kendall murmured and he saw how James back arched up into his touch in slight interest.
"Hmm, what were we supposed to be actually studying anyways?" James asked and Kendall shrugged.
"Don't remember really. . .my mind was thinking about us going to the circus when we were in class-"
"That's it!" James shouted, jumping up and startling Kendall. The brunette turned to his boyfriend, eager smile on his face. "I'll be your sexy ringmaster and you'll be my lion," James said, giving flirty winks and hopping off the bed. Kendall watched as the teenager began to sift through his closet once more, leaning back on the palms of his hands. He just hoped they didn't waste too much time picking out costumes when there was free candy out there waiting for Kendall to take and eat. "Okay, put these on," James called out, tossing Kendall a pair of golden shorts, a lion tail and lion ears. Kendall stared at it, then back over to James who was currently trying to get out of the pants and into the ringmaster costume.
"This is even skimpier than what I'm wearing!" Kendall snapped and James pouted.
"I want a sexy lion though."
"And I want to live to see another Halloween! Which I won't because my mom will kill me if I wear this!"
James groaned, digging into his closet and pulled out a full costume fit for a lion, lazily tossing it over at Kendall.
"There, wear that and be just some average lion," James said with a scoff and continued to get undressed. Kendall sighed, getting onto his feet to undress too but then a thought entered his mind. He slowly sauntered over to the brunette, James trying to not notice the pair of arms that were wrapping around him and Kendall pressing up against his backside.
"You know. . .once we get back and everyone's asleep, I could get into that other lion costume and we'll have our own private circus," Kendall whispered and James gave a small shudder, feeling Kendall giving small kitten licks along his shoulder.
"Mmm. . .sounds like fun," James breathed and Kendall gave a light laugh, leaning over to give James a soft kiss on the lips.
"Great, I'm going to have a lot of energy from all that candy we're going to get," Kendall said with a grin and James gave a sultry smile back. Good, he liked to have a wild Kendall to tame.
"Better! Much better!" Mrs. Knight said with a smile and then walked over to hold Kendall's face, "And you look so adorable!"
"Mom. Please," Kendall said, cheeks turning red in embarrassment and she continued to grin as she let go of her son's face and faced James. The costume was still slutty as can be but at least he wasn't half naked. She just gave an approving nod and James smiled, placing an arm around Kendall.
"Now that I think about it, it's a perfect combination. I'm pretty sure if it were old ladies answering the door, they might have a heart attack over how sexy we were. But now, it's an even balance of cute and sexy so it's perfect!" James chirped and the Knights didn't bother to try and understand James' logic. Kendall glanced around the living room, eyebrow raised in confusion.
"Where's Logan?" he asked and he heard noise coming from his and Logan's shared bedroom. A few seconds later, Carlos was dragging out the brains of Big Time Rush. Only instead of the expected mad scientist coat and crazy hair, it was a blue Chinese dress with silk brocades in the wig atop Logan's head. Kendall laughed loudly, "You're Chun-Li?"
"S-Shut up! He switched my costume!" Logan stuttered out, stumbling a bit in the white boots and Kendall just laughed harder. Logan turned to face the Latino, angry expression on his face. "I'd told you they'll laugh!"
"But it's better! Now we match like Kendall and James do," Carlos said with a smile and Logan blushed. He was perfectly contented with being a mad scientist for the fifth time in a row and now Carlos just had to change it up. Besides, he still got candy regardless of what he wore, there wasn't any point to change costumes. Not like he was James. Carlos gave him a sympathetic smile, rocking back and forth on his bare feet. "If it makes you feel better, I like it a lot."
"Of course you'd like it. But in case you haven't noticed, Chun-Li is a girl. And I'm a boy."
"You dressed up as a girl lots of times though! Now tonight, people won't look at you funny for it! Please Logie, pretty please~" Carlos whimpered and Logan stared at the pout before hanging his head in defeat. He held out his hand, spiked bracelet on his wrist.
"Fine, let's go," he mumbled out and Carlos took the brunette's hand and their buckets, pulling him out the door to begin the hunt. Kendall hooked an arm around James' waist.
"Why yes we shall," James said with a smile, grabbing onto the two buckets remaining. He planned on filling his bucket to the brim with energy-inducing-sugar-coated candy and as the two walked down the hall, James feeling Kendall's hand slide down to give the black short clad bottom a small pat and squeeze, he grinned. This was going to be the best Halloween-
"Aw, don't you two look so cute," James heard a voice coo, turning to see Lucy Stone standing behind them on her way to the lobby in her usual rocker gear. She glanced at the buckets, "And you guys are going trick-or-treating as a couple, so adorable," she said in that voice James could never understand if she was mocking them or talking normally. She smiled at the two, walking past them and heading over to the elevator as Kendall stared at the girl's retreating back and scowled.
"That's it. Next year, I'm picking out the costumes."