The Full Summary: Hikaru and Kaoru are in a car crash riding home from school one night. Before Kaoru can awaken from his coma, files are signed and his twin is declared dead. The bed is emptied. However, when Kaoru finally regains consciousness, his memories have been curiously erased; it's as if his life has suddenly been rewritten, with no trace of Hikaru in them. Everyone in his life plays along. Kaoru doesn't understand his own heart; why does he feel pain when he looks into a mirror? Will he ever remember?
Yeah that's a bit of a weird full summary...but anyway... on with the show!
Warnings: it's just shonen-ai...i'm not sure exactly what that implies...but they're depicted as lovers in here without going very far. kissing is the furthest. but if you don't like that then don't read it. thanks.
Disclaimer: No i don't own Ouran. sigh. does anyone ever? :(
Something crackled nearby. As Kaoru slowly and painfully dragged back his heavy eyelids, he saw flashing emergency services' lights; red and blue, lighting up the night. The scene was almost beautiful and serene; moonlight had spread its long silky white-blonde hair over the scramble of confusion until chaos almost became tranquillity. Sound was thrumming against his eardrums as if cotton wool had been stuck in his ears whilst a loud band played a thriving beat, the flash of lights at a rock concert. He saw people screaming and shouting, their mouths opening and closing with agonising looks of horror; but no sound reached him. Blood was rushing to his head, dizzying his sense of gravity. Kaoru could hear his own heart beat pounding in his ears, the bass drum was thudding a rapid unsteady rhythm…until the drummer missed a beat.
'Hikaru?' the one word came out of his mouth like garbling bubbles, but it was the only thing that mattered now.
Kaoru sensed rather than saw; a cold and pale white hand identical to his own clutching tightly to his fingers; but the grip was slowly loosening as the seconds ticked by.
A warm runny substance trickled out of Kaoru's mouth as he gasped for breath in the crushed compartment of their limousine. Glass tinkled gently against the concrete and resounded in the dark like giggling fairies. The glow of lights began to blur sharply, and to Kaoru it felt like he was entering a beautiful night-time photograph of a city. The dull pain in his head, his stomach, his legs…all over…began to sharpen and he exhaled painfully. He turned his head around instinctively, for what felt like the last time and saw a ghostly bloodless face inches away from his own; identical to his own, or so it seemed to most people.
But not to him. It had always been clear, which was him...so the other must be…
'Hikaru!' he rasped; no air left in his lungs to support that cry of despair.
Hikaru's eyes were closed, but they opened a fraction as he heard his twin calling his name. His fingers tightened against his younger brother's. A cut on his cheek dripped blood consistently onto the glass above their heads. Kaoru felt numb. There was blood everywhere; whose was it? It was a curious sensation as they both identically wondered whose blood was smeared on the glass, on the light blue fabric of their blazers, over the Ouran High School emblem, on the expensive black leather and all over the shining interior of what was once a limousine.
I love you…Kaoru.
A solitary tear was all Kaoru could manage in his state of consciousness. Hikaru seemed to laugh in his head, Twin telepathy. Don't cry, Kao.
In a feeble attempt to stay conscious, Kaoru shifted his weight, trying to remove his legs from where they were jammed, but all he was met with was a burning pain. He groaned and ceased, hyperventilating slightly as he attempted to stop himself yelling in agony. He didn't want Hikaru to know; this was not a time for him to be worrying about his younger brother.
Hikaru glared at him weakly and tried to look calm, 'Do you think we'll get out of this?' His voice came out staggered as he choked and winced from the glass embedded in his chest, a red stain rapidly sinking into the torn white shirt.
Don't talk, Hika. We'll get out.
'Together.' Hikaru smiled at his twin and closed his eyes.
Kaoru mirrored his brother's smile and rested his head against whatever gravity and space allowed. In the distance, he could begin to hear someone screaming something; was it their names? Kaoru listened to his own breathing, ragged and steadily becoming more difficult. With the darkness crept fear and insecurity. What would happen if Hikaru died and he didn't? Kaoru knew he didn't want to survive with only the memory of his beloved brother. Fear began to engulf him, and his fingers, fighting against the numbness creeping through his body, clutched at Hikaru's ice cold hand. Pain flooded into his chest as hot tears began to spill, mixing with blood. He swallowed the lump in his throat, the taste of blood strong in his mouth.
The lights began to fade, his conscience teetered on the edge of a dangerous precipice, and darkness was waiting below. Kaoru wanted to stay.
Hikaru's hand slipped from his and landed with a soft thud against the torn and glass-ridden black leather seats. A cold wind blew into Kaoru's empty hand, but he could no longer feel.
I love you too, Hikaru. Forever.
The night engulfed the two identical unconscious teenagers. They didn't feel when they were torn apart, they didn't feel when they were carried into two separate ambulances and accompanied by their parents, separately. They didn't know they were placed in separate hospital wards. They were separated. Nothing but love was there to guide them.
'Doctor, will my sons be alright?'
'Ma'am, they both suffered severe injuries. Kaoru has proceeded into a coma.'
A cry of despair rang out in the echoing silence, '…and Hikaru?'
'I'm afraid there's not much we can do. I'm so very sorry, Ma'am.'
'May I see them?'
'Of course. This way.' Footsteps faded away.
~~~A week later…~~~
'Mum? Where's Kaoru?'
Mrs Hitachiin sat by Hikaru's bedside, her left hand resting on the bed railing and her eyes on her eldest son, the saddest smile lifted the edge of her lips.
'Thank goodness you're awake, Hikaru.'
'Where's Kaoru.' The older twin began to panic, closing his eyes and reaching out to his brother. He felt nothing but silence and peace.
'Kaoru's…' the smile on their mother's face slipped and tears began welling in her glassy shell-shocked eyes.
Dark shadows were developing beneath her eyes, her makeup was haphazard from the last time she had replenished it…a week ago… her hair was roughly tied and slipping into untidy. Hikaru noticed the hand on his bed railing, the knuckles were white. He would have felt guilt, and pity, had it not been Kaoru at stake.
Hikaru's chest felt heavy; his heart was being squeezed painfully and cruelly. He took a deep breath and told his overthinking brain to shut up; it's not like Kaoru was dead or anything… was he? Hikaru began to hyperventilate unconsciously. It couldn't be.
'…he's in a coma, and the doctors say he will most likely never wake up. I'm so sorry, Hikaru.' She began to cry again.
He heard the words, and they echoed in his suddenly empty mind. Coma…coma…coma...his twin…his brother…his love… was in a coma… A memory flashed and he saw Kaoru's teasing smile in the light as he poked his older brother lightly and affectionately, 'you're so slow, Hika.'
'Where is he?' Hikaru interrupted his mother's sobbing apologies, a hand on his blanket and a foot already hovering in mid-air.
'You're not allowed to leave the bed, you need rest!'
'WHERE IS HE?' Hikaru yelled, tearing the IV from his arm and sliding onto the cold tiled floor of the hospital.
Almost immediately, a crippling pain seized his legs and drove him to the ground. He cursed...and remembered Kaoru laughing when Hikaru used to swear at their homework or little inconveniences…like the maids knocking on their door at a very inappropriate moment, the younger one constantly amused by silly things, especially things he never did himself. Hikaru swore again, a tear sliding down his cheek. Would he really never see Kaoru laugh ever again?
The pain grew stronger, and his vision blurred. The air was sterilised, cold and emotionless. The walls were white, the curtains were white and so was his bed, his blankets, his clothing…everything. He was fading into a world of numbness and white; a world with no pain. But Hikaru wanted to see Kaoru; something not cold and emotionless, even if he had to endure this pain. He longed to touch the fiery auburn hair, to stare into those honey gold eyes and see his own reflection and to feel the soft warm skin of his other half. As he slipped away, he saw more figures approaching; the same white numbness. Was he going mad?
Doctors and nurses were streaming in, professionalism etched in their worried faces and white cloaks. Hikaru wanted to scream and struggle until he was brought to the one thing that kept him sane; Kaoru.
A sharp prick in his arm and darkness engulfed him again; the white was gone, but so was everything else…so was Kaoru.
~~~Another week gone…~~~
'I'm sorry, Mrs Hitachiin,' the doctor was saying, real sympathy in his voice.
'Don't be. It's not your fault, doctor. Please ensure Hikaru's…departure…is properly arranged…' Choked sobs broke her.
'Your younger son is showing signs of mental recovery, he may awaken soon.'
Silence filled the hall; nothing could be heard except for the endless tears dripping onto the floor. Mrs Hitachiin was a composed woman, as capable as her sons to hide her emotions, but for once she felt broken, her heart and soul were grieving. Why did they have to…?
Footsteps approached the bed where a delicate looking teen with fiery auburn hair was sleeping restlessly.
'Oh Kaoru, do you sense him?' she sniffed a little hysterically, swallowing another lump forming in her throat as she gazed down at the unconscious boy. Kaoru was lost in his own world, but his forehead was crinkled ever so slightly; a cute little frown.
'I'm afraid this will become necessary if Kaoru awakens. Hikaru…must be kept a secret from him until he recovers. We cannot risk him falling into the same consequences as his brother.' The doctor sighed heavily.
'I'm so sorry, Kaoru. Forgive me.'
She laid her hand on Kaoru's fragile fingers.
'Hmm? What is it Kaoru?' Hikaru smiled at his younger brother.
'We'll be together forever right?' Kaoru pouted most adorably, which was something he definitely should not be doing at the age of 14, knowing Hikaru's vulnerability to his cuteness.
'Of course! Even if it's not physically, we're always together…here.' Hikaru leaned close and laid his palm over Kaoru's chest, feeling the heart beating calmly. He chuckled when the tempo sped up for a second or two.
Kaoru lay on a wide grass field, alone, relishing in the feeling of the dewy blades of green pressing against his feverish skin. He thought about Hikaru, about the memories flying past his eyes, and about Hikaru. Where am I and where is he?
He thought back to their first kiss and blushed. Kaoru remembered the wildly possessive look in his twin's eyes as he procrastinated one night. He remembered the rough and gentle moment when Hikaru seized him by the collar and pressed their lips together.
The clouds seemed to take on familiar shapes; toys they shared, places they went, people they knew… there was a cloud shaped like Tamaki's head, and Kaoru laughed, enjoying himself. Suddenly, the atmosphere felt heavy, a light breeze swept his hair back like a hand brushing his cheek. He heard his name on the wind.
The voice was familiar. Hikaru? Is it you?
All the clouds of memories began to deform and converge in a giant cumulonimbus* storm. Kaoru sat upright, staring up at the sky in alarm as a harsh wind started to blow, an agonised wail echoing over the field. Heavy drops of rain splattered against his auburn hair, drenching him fully. The water slid onto his lips and dissolved on his tongue. It's salty. Tears?
"KAORU!" the voice again.
I'm here, who are you? Kaoru called up at the sky, swallowing a mouthful of salty rain. Perhaps it was acid rain? Then again he couldn't be sure; it had always been Hikaru who was good at chemistry. At the thought of Hikaru, tears began to well up in his eyes. He couldn't understand why.
"Kaoru, I love you!"
I love you too. Kaoru smiled, tears pouring down his cheeks, as tears fell from the sky.
A warm sensation touched his lips. All the memories of Hikaru's passionate kisses flooded into Kaoru's head.
"Wake up, plea-ugh." The wind howled loudly, like screaming in the night, screaming for him.
Wake up? I am awake, Hika. Where are you?
Suddenly, the sky cleared. A cloud in the shape of his mother hovered gently nearby, her smile was forced. The grass was soaked, but Kaoru was dry. He felt dizzy. The ground seemed to disappear as he fainted; he toppled backwards, landing with a quiet flump in the marshmallow-soft land of dreams.
Some ending notes...
*a cumulonimbus cloud is like this gigantic anvil shaped storm cloud. It can cause tornados! :D I just felt like showing off my meteorologist skills hehe.
Anyway I love Hikaru and Kaoru so I guarantee that this will have a happy ending. :) It might get a bit angsty from here but not too much. I'm still trying to figure out the plot myself, so yeah.
Reviews would be much appreciated, especially if you've got some ideas? I've got a few other random drabbles in my head but they're not coming out right so I decided to write this story first.
Thanks for reading! Please, pretty please with Hani-senpai's cake stash on top, REVIEW! I don't care what you write, even if it's just a smiley face or sad face or angry face review! Just gimme some feedback and I will love you! :D Lots of Hitachiin cookies for you!
I'm hoping to get the next chapter up soon so keep your eyes peeled my lovely readers!
Thanks! R&R! :3