Spoilers for 7.02
Missing scene(s) from 7.02: They have just changed the dressing on Sam's hand and now know what hell Sam has been living through. Bobby has just left the room to go fix the car.
Warnings: language, insinuation of past non-con while in hell (not graphic)
Thank you, Trasan, for your input on this!
"Wow," Dean had no idea what to say to that. "Just wow." Moving slowly towards Sam like his brother was a skittish horse, Dean was relieved that Bobby had left. The older man had obviously realized that what Sam needed right now was something only Dean could give him.
It amazed him (and hurt) that a childless man understood things about them that their own father never had.
Sam watched him carefully, the intensity of his gaze silently begging Dean to say something, to fix this – to find the concrete that would ground Sam in Dean's reality… and it killed Dean that he had no idea how. His brother was losing his mind – what weapon in their arsenal could fight that?
So instead he sat down next to his brother, thigh pressed hard against thigh, and waited the kid out knowing Sam had more to say.
After a few moments, Sam took in a shaky breath, dropped his gaze to his hands and spoke so quietly that Dean found himself holding his breath to listen. "He came up behind me – the guy the other night…"
Dean stiffened. He knew exactly what his brother was talking about.
"Leaned in and…"
Sam swallowed hard and Dean could feel the fine tremors running through his brother's body. He wanted to say something but was afraid of scaring Sam off. After doing some of his own reconnaissance about Sam's burger brawl, Dean had his own ideas on what the creep might have said that triggered his brother.
"… and said I had a nice ass…"
Dean let out his breath slowly. Yeah… that was what he was sort of expecting. The guy was the town leech. Apparently bisexual, he hit on attractive brunettes with long legs – Sam fit the bill… not that Dean thought his brother was attractive. Just, yuck. But according to the day shift supervisor at Beefy's Burger Barn, Jeff was also crass and didn't take rejection well.
"What did you say?" Dean asked, carefully keeping his tone neutral.
"Told him I didn't, uh, swing that way-" Sam's gaze swung wildly to the side and he flinched.
Anger bubbled through his chest as Dean had no doubts what kind of comment 'Lucifer' had just made. "Hey," he barked at his brother forcing Sam's attention back on him. "And you still don't. No matter what that a-hole just said!"
"Dean…" Sam started to protest.
There was a sadness on his brother's face that rippled something feral inside of Dean. He shifted so he could better look at his brother. "Sam," he growled but Sam cut him off.
Pushing to his feet, Sam stood in front of Dean, his hands held out wide on either side of his body, tears christening his face. "I was his… bitch for over a hundred years, Dean! His bunk-mate! His – his-"
Dean was also on his feet now and grabbed his brother's shoulders, giving the kid a shake. "Shut up, Sam! Shut up!"
"That doesn't mean anything. It means nothing!"
Again Sam looked to the side and again Dean shook him. "Look at me, Sam. Only at me!"
Sam deflated, his body crumbling to the floor and Dean went down with him, refusing to let his brother go.
"How can you say it means nothing? That guy took one look at me and knew what I was! And he wouldn't go away – I told him no and he kept saying things and I kept saying no and – and he got pissed and touched me… shoved me and it was like – I don't know, I was right back there in the pit…" his broken brother whispered, eyes wet, lips trembling. "Dean, I don't remember anything until the cops where there… so how can you say that? That it means nothing?"
"Because." Dean reached out and gently cupped his brother's chin, "You're here now. With me. And that is the only thing that matters, Sammy. The. Only. Thing. That guy? He got what he deserved. The second he touched you? Put you back in the pit? He's damned lucky I wasn't there… So yeah – nothing else matters but that."
Sam stared at him for a long moment, his tormented gaze searching for something in Dean's face. "Do you promise, Dean?" his voice was ragged. "Really promise?"
He tried to look to the side but Dean wouldn't let him. "I promise, Sammy. It's the only thing."
"He won't go away," Sam admitted with a sob, his gaze skittered and still scared. "And he won't shut. Up."
Lucifer. The muscle tightened in Dean's jaw. "We'll find a way, okay? I don't know how yet but we will find a way. I didn't get you back just to lose you again." Dean vowed and he meant it.
Sam finally seemed to accept that for now and gave a grateful little nod, letting Dean help him back up where they both collapsed onto the couch.
"I am sorry about the burgers though," Sam spoke after a moment.
Dean absently patted his brother on the leg, his heart only starting to slow down. All this drama was taking years off his life, he grimaced at the thought. "Blah, s'all right, I got my dead cow served a bit differently, that's all. Sandwiches A la Dean. Yum. Yum."
Exhaustion seemed to weigh down Sam's head as he slowly turned to look at his brother. Dean flashed him what he hoped was a supportive smile but thinks it might have come off a bit stupid looking.
"I thought the beef was bad? Didn't it expire over a week ago?"
"Nothing wrong with expired meat, Sam. Not if you can eat it and live to tell the tale." So maybe he had to make a couple of extra treks to the john that night but that was something he wasn't about to share with anyone. And from the greenish look on Bobby's face the next morning, Dean was pretty sure Bobby was feeling the same.
"Dean!" Sam huffed out the word in fond exasperation. He tipped his gaze to the side again and a muscle in his jaw twitched.
"Sammy…." Dean growled to get his brother's attention back on him.
"I don't even know why you guys put it back in the fridge," Sam re-focused on him.
"Principle of the matter," Dean wasn't sure either.
They sat like for another few minutes, Dean feeling the pull of a nap – although he had only just gotten up – when Sam spoke again. "Are you okay?"
"Shades of Bobby," Dean gave a soft snort.
"Dean?" Sam obviously didn't know that Dean had already had this conversation with Bobby.
"I'm fine-" he started to say and then sighed and shook his head. Honesty Street had oncoming traffic and his brother didn't deserve his bull-shit right now. "I miss him. Strange, huh? We never really hung out much – tried it a bit but, eh, what can I say? He wasn't you-" he rolled his eyes at the fond look his brother gave him and continued. "But I always knew he was out there, you know? And it mattered. So now, it's really weird. I know he's gone, and I'm still pissed at him but – well I still miss him."
"You know that's how it was when I was at school," Sam's voice took on a faraway tone. "With you and Dad, I mean. We weren't together but…" he looked at Dean as if to gauge the safeness of his reminiscence then continued on when Dean steadily held his gaze. "I knew you were out there and that gave me something, I don't know exactly what, comfort, I guess? And then when Dad died – and then you…" Sam's started to turn away.
Dean gripped his brother's thigh hard for a moment until Sam looked back at him.
"Yeah," Dean assured him. "Something like that. I just really wish we could have saved him." He went on to admit.
And this time, it was Sam who offered him the comfort.
Wrapping still trembling fingers around Dean's wrist, Sam gave a light squeeze. "Me too," he promised. "Me too."
Then Sam's attention shifted to the other side of the room again and Dean wondered what they were going to do.