Conker's bad fur day is property of RARE. I really hope a sequel to the first game gets made somehow, I really do. But Microsoft had to ruin everything, even ruining Banjo and Kazooie. But anyway I don't want to start ranting, here's what I felt like happened after Conker's trip to the bar in his point of view, enjoy.
It was a long night for me, it was the same day I became king, king of all the land. It wasn't the life I wanted. I wanted Money and Power, it looks like I got exactly what I wanted. But it's not the same without Berri.
I walked into the bar, the cock and pluckers, and sat at the bar, it was completely empty, I was expecting the survivors from the war against the tediz would be here, but apparently they all went home to their families. I sat at the counter, placed my head on my hand, and the bartender came up to me.
"So? What'll it be?" He asked me cleaning one of his glasses.
"Scotch...Single malt...speyside...no ice." I ordered.
"Ah, a man of taste." He said pouring my drink."There you go."
"Woah! Woah there cowboy. Keep it comin'." I told him and he kept pouring."Keep the bottle." I added.
"Lookin' a bit down." He said sliding the glass to me."What's the matter?" I groaned at him.
"You wouldn't believe it." I told him."Anyway...I don't want to talk about it. I'll just drink this." The bartender nodded and walked away, muttering something, but I could hear it.
"Poor guy, he probably won't be able to sleep tonight, with the problems he's having." I ignored that comment, and continued drinking.
After I was done, I left the tip on the counter and staggered outside. Looking up I could see rain was falling down, even if my vision was poor.
"Doesn't look good out tonight." I told myself. I started walking back to the castle best to my abilities. After much time, I came to the sign that caused me the problem in the first sign. I gotta say, even after that drink, the pain was still there, the pain of losing her. I felt like I was having a heart attack, and I could feel tears building up, but I didn't want to let it out because I felt like I would embarrass myself. So I decided to do a little shout out to see if anyone was around.
"Hello? Anyone around?" I heard nothing but silence for a whole minute. After that, I fell on my knees in front of the sign and began letting it all out as the rain began getting my face wet, because of it, I couldn't tell if I was crying or not. I turned and I had my back against the sign.
"Why Berri?" I said as I burried my face into my gloves."Why didn't I bring you back when I had the chance? Why did you have to die?" I got back up and took my crown off and looked at the sign.
"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" I shouted at the sign, getting ready to throw my crown, when suddenly, I stopped. I lowered my crown and placed it in front of my face, seeing a reflection of it. I could see my eyes were all red and puffy and my fur was becoming a darker color.
"Look at yourself Conker, you've become a shadow of your former self." I said at the reflection. It was true. I began having flashbacks of what my life was like before this adventure, I remembered being close to my family, my friends, and even my dearest Berri, but one day, I changed, I became more greedy than caring, I disrespected my parents, I treated my old friends like utter shit, and I started treating Berri wrong, but she didn't care, she knew that deep down I really cared for her. And it wasn't untill now that I realized it.
"You got nothing and no one to blame but yourself Conker." I said to the reflection. I didn't realize it but a drop of rain fell onto the reflection, and it changed. I saw myself, all happy and care free, with the smile of Child mischief. It was my life before I became king, but now that life is dead. And my crown represented that. I placed it back on my head and started to stumble back to the castle. I was about twenty feet away when I stopped and looked back into the sky.
"Berri..."I sighed."I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I promise you, I don't know what it'll take, but I will find a way to bring you back, but for now, I'm going to change my ways." I staggered to the front gate as two gaurds escorted me to my room, where I could think and sleep, hoping I could keep my promise to Berri's soul.
moments later, I found myself in a field of flowers. "Why am I dreaming of being here?" I asked myself scratching my head.
"Your mind is, like, in peace Conker Honey." I heard. That voice was familiar, I turned around and saw Berri, looking exactly like I remembered her. Six feet tall, blond hair with the additional ponytail, and fine frame.
"Berri!" I said running towards her. As soon as I was close to her, I wrapped my arms around her legs. She kneeled down and hugged me back. "Oh Berri, I'm so sorry! I feel terrible for what happened!" I said as tears started going down my eyes, and I felt her petting my head.
"Conker, it's, like, alright. I forgive you. You couldn't do anything about it, that weasel had a tommy gun, but you didn't know it. But Conker, just look at me." I did what she said and looked at her.
"I want you to promise me, you'll move on, and rule this land correct, better than what the Panther king did. Do you think you can, like, do it for me?" She asked. I nodded slowly as the tears started to slow down.
"Do it for me, and I'm sure, I can get Greg the grim reaper to do something. Just please take care of yourself." With that, she stood up and vanished. I stood there for two straight minutes letting a few more tears falling off my face.
"Berri...you have nothing to worry about." I said quietly with a small smile.
The fallowing day I woke up seeing that my room was empty, my servents were no where to be seen. I looked at the clock to see it's 6:30 A.M., so they must still be asleep. I stept to the balcony that's connected to my room, looking at the beutiful view of the kingdom.
"Where am I going to start?" I asked looking over the land. Everything has changed ever sense my adventure, they closed down the dung beatles poo buisness so it wouldn't stink the intire forest. In fact that actually changed everyone's mood. After Count Conkula's death, the zombie's stopped coming back from the dead, and after the war, there was no more tediz. Life was good for the land, and I hope no more crap like that happens again.
"I guess I can change my atitude against my servants. As long as I'm king, I might as well act like one." I told myself. I walked back inside, grabbed my crown, and placed it on top of my head as straight as I could. I could hear Rodent outside of the door.
"Conker, it's time to get up!" He said in his weak voice. To be honest, I really don't like him, but he was one of my best friends. And his weak voice was partially my fault. When we were kids, we were playing baseball, he was pitching, I was batting. When he threw the first ball, I swinged and the ball hit him, right in the neck. He was immidietly rushed to the emergency room. His parents told him not to be around me for a while.
As I walked out of the front castle doors, seeing all of the people who lived in this land at the bottom of the stairs. I stepped up to a podium where a microphone was. I had no idea what to say, so I was nervous for once in my life. I looked down and saw the wooden B carving on the ground as a lightbulb appeared above my head. I cleared my throught and began spoking.
"My fellow citizens, for quite a while, we were under the rule of the panther king. He wasn't a good ruler, all he did was sit around all day and drink milk. But I promise you, I won't be anything like that. Sure from time to time, I might get drunk, and I might by a cheap hooker, but we all have flaws in all of us. I should know, greediness got the best of me, and now, I've paid the price. But I promise you, while I'm sober, I will change this place! In a good way nonetheless. I went through problem to problem to get where I am today, and it really shapened this land up. I hope someday in the future, this land will be a perfect place for us all, and the children of the future!"
After that, the intire audiance was cheering, jumping in the air all happy like.
"Thank you! Thank you!" I said waving.
And suprisingly, I managed to keep my word, the land had changed for the best. And with that, I wasted all my money on booze and cheap hookers. I hadn't keep my spirits low on Berri coming back, I mostly sat in my bedroom, on the balcony, and waited.
But all the wait was a waste. She never came back. It was all a dream, so I made this land better for no reason at all. I just couldn't take it. I reached for the drawer, pulled out a poster, placed the end in my mouth. and pulled the trigger.
Now, we can be together again. for the reast of eternity.