Disclaimer: 'Pride and Predjudice' belongs to Jane Austen and its respective owners.
This was an English assignment in which I had to adopt the writing style of one of the characters from the book and write a letter to three other characters. I chose Lydia to write to her sister Catherine, her mother, and Jane.
The final letter, from Mr. Bennet, was just for fun.
My dearest Kitty,
I hope since the arrival of my last letter, you have taken to heart my advice regarding that certain gentleman. As a married woman, you know I have considerable experience in that subject referring to the other sex. Why, you remember dear Harriet Forster? She positively raved over my social graces and lovely constitution. And she, with such an honorable and handsome husband! Such a compliment! One does not win the heart of a colonel with common courtesies!
A brightly coloured dress, a goodly smile, mysterious eyes, and sophisticated conversation, sister; no commendable officer could—I dare say should!—refuse such perfected feminine graces! These are the things you should keep in mind when speaking with those of the masculine inclination. And for heaven's sake Kitty, need I remind you not to attach yourself so suddenly to only one gentleman? Do not let him think you so easily won, dearest!
Finally, Kitty, do not be sorely discouraged if you find that the dear man is not as dear as other gentleman of our acquaintance. Dear, darling Wickham, I am afraid, has not as many men like himself as we would wish.
Send my love to Mother and the others, and do ask Father if he will let you visit me this winter. I shall be positively dreadful if you cannot be with me to help me bear the cold.
Your dearest sister,
The cold is nearly unbearable! If I have to remain inside one more day, I am afraid I shall burst from anxiety. My poor nerves cannot take much more of the accursed snow.
George (I have decided to call my dear husband by his Christian name now, it is much more sensible than simply "my dear Wickham"), has refused to let take the carriage into market! I absolutely begged and cried for what must have been hours, but he is adamantly stubborn! I even threatened that I would simply collapse on the cold floor and die in front of him if did not let me outside; he flatly replied that I would do no such thing since doing so would soil my dress. As if vanity is of any importance in my boredom! I cannot bear it any longer!
I wish I could be with you and Father—even sorry Mary!—but George says that we will not travel as far south as Longbourn until summer when the roads are better and our monies more expanded. Have you written to Jane and dear Bingley about our poor funds? I have written Father to implore Lizzy on our behalf, but you know how foolishly ungenerous she and Mr. Darcy are with their many pounds.
Regrettably, dear mother my fingers ache from the cold and I am afraid my misery will only worry you. Write to me soon, if you please, my mind simply cannot handle this frigid solitude.
All my love and true affections,
Honestly sister, it has been too long since your last letter. Must I remind you of dear George and I? You cannot forget family, you know—it's absolutely indecent to leave one's family so isolated.
I miss you and Charles so! Perhaps, you will have us visit again? Truly, I could not get enough time to view the entirety of your new grounds in ―—shire. You must not deprive us of your generosity much longer. You know how we so rely upon it. Will you not send for us soon?
I am sure George would not mind seeing Charles again as long as Darcy remains in Pemberley. Our last stay was nearly ruined by his and Lizzy's surprise visit. How rude of them to intrude upon us so! Surely, you have told Lizzy how inconvenient that was to you—and poor George! Indeed sister, you must call for us without delay. I am assured you can spare a carriage to retrieve us.
I shall expect a reply within a fortnight. That should be enough time for your house maids to prepare mine and George's rooms.
I shall not take up much of your time. If you can spare a few moments to use the feeble intellect that consists the whole of your mind, we shall very well understand each other.
Catherine will under no circumstances come to visit you now or within the foreseeable future. Although I no longer exercise my authority as your sire over you, Catherine is still very much my daughter. She will stay here in Longbourn. You would do well to save your meager monies and not waste ink, quill, and paper on the matter.
Jane has mentioned to me in a recent letter your wish to spend some time with her in —shire. I believe I may indulge myself to speak on Jane's behalf and say that your last stay was but four month ago and long enough not to warrant another visit for the remainder of this year and the half of the next.
As for Lizzy and Mr. Darcy, you will have to write them yourself if you wish them to support your frivolous purchases. I surely shall not involve myself in their finances.
Also, you would be pleased to know that your mother received your previous letter quite well. I have not seen such rapturous emotion come upon her so suddenly. The vapours have struck her wonderfully.
Unfortunately, the thought of housing you and Wickham for the rest of the winter is quite impossible.