"—and I just thought you'd like to get a bite to eat. You know. While we work on the case."
McGee let himself get lost in the way she was looking at him. Women so seldom looked at him like that, he thought he might as well enjoy it. But in the end he begged her off, and the look faded, replaced with something more professional.
At least DiNozzo waited until she was at the elevator; not, as McGee had found out once at Gibbs' hand, that the elevator was exactly out of ear shot from his desk.
"What the hell is your problem, McGee?"
McGee sighed, and turned to his friend, who was giving him an incredulous look. He decided to play dumb.
"What? I had plans."
"For a woman like that? Plans don't exist. I'm starting to really worry about you, probie. I mean, when was the last time you got laid?"
McGee started to say something, and then DiNozzo's last sentence fully penetrated his brain, and he closed his mouth, giving him a glare. DiNozzo raised his eyebrows and his hands, clearly indicating that he thought he had a point. McGee put down his pencil and leaned back.
"Look. She's the sister-in-law of that body down in the morgue. It would be unprofessional of me to—"
"Bullshit. You're just scared."
"I am not scared. If I had wanted to go to lunch with her, I would have."
"You can't tell me you didn't want to go to lunch with that pair of legs."
McGee gave the man a look that unconsciously imitated one of Gibbs', which made DiNozzo laugh.
"You know I'm right, probie."
"Right about what, DiNozzo?" Gibbs' voice cut through the office as he strode over to his desk, his 'grab your gear' face on. DiNozzo stood up, already reaching for his bag.
"Right that McGee is either secretly gay or secretly going out with Abby."
McGee gaped, his lack of a retort made worse by Gibbs' raised eyebrow and slight smile. The fact that he was taking enjoyment out of this and not putting a stop to it meant that the expression had been more of a 'quit goofing off' look, and DiNozzo let go of the bag accordingly.
"I am not gay!" he finally got out, but Tony only snapped his fingers in triumph.
"So you are going out with Abby!"
This time the retort died in his throat as Abby herself appeared, quite unexpectedly (for McGee) from behind Gibbs, her expression steely.
It took until halfway through the next case to finally get Abby to forgive him, but he never did tell DiNozzo that he was sick of the women he met either getting killed or turning out to be killers and had decided to just give up altogether. He considered mentioning it when the sister-in-law turned out to be an accomplice to the murder, but what with Ducky still recovering from the gunshot wound and Ziva gloating over winning a bet with Tony, there hadn't been a good moment.