This just randomly came to me one day. My mind is a strange place to live in. It's different from anything I've done before. It will be offensive and perverted. Probably not much sustenance. Some, but not much. A bit of angst here and there.

I'm going to TRY, key word TRY, to update this every day. This will be rather lengthy, but chapters will be short.

So if your parents still supply your porn stash, your more than likely not old enough to read this.

I own nothing but a dirty mind.

Part One: Confessions of a Virgin


I once read that men think about sex every six seconds.

I guess I was born genetically wrong, because I too think about sex every six seconds.

Considering I've never actually had sex, the fact that I'm almost always thinking about something sexually is a little baffling.

I'm a seventeen year old virgin who has lived with my single father my entire life.

So why is sex always on my brain?

Oh yes, because of you, Mr. Adonis with the green eyes.

I've known you practically my entire life.

And I don't think we've even had one conversation.

In fact, I think you don't even realize I exist.

Which is sad, because our graduating class will only be about 60 kids.

Angela thinks I'm crazy for my little obsession.

With you. Not sex.

She's just as sex-sessed as I am.

My partner in crime. We spend our weekends driving to Seattle to look at porn and toys.

You just can't get them anywhere near Forks, which is a shame.

Then again, because my dad is the chief of police, and she's the minister's daughter, maybe it's for the best.

Word travel fast around these parts.

I could just imagine all the shocked faces.

Whispered voices.

Gossiping old ladies.

So what? We like to watch porn and masturbate.

On the outside, we may not look like those things interest us.

But they do.

Thoughts? Let me know if you want to actually read this, or if it's just terrible and I should delete it...